Strawberry Letter 03/26/09 - A Man Who Loves the Lord

[discobiscuits]

What sayest thou? ​

Date: 03/26/2009
Subject: Men

I've been dating the same man for 11 years and he's just as much as a creep now, that he was 11 years ago, and by that I mean that he's a good guy, he works hard, he's got it going on, he sexy as hell and he knows it, but he refuses to committ. I could understand this if he was not a devout Christain, we spend hours talking about the Lord, discussing the Word, he convicts everyone that he talks to, tell then they are going to hell, and then the next night he's will send me a freaky text message. If I call him and ask for some, he give a sermon and hangs up the phone, but if he wants it, that he will send me a message to meet him at the house. Now Steve you cover some things on Oprah but you did cover this, please help me I am confused and hurt, I have said goodbye to this man so many times, I can't count them anymore. He always comes back to me, he will find me wherever I am, then after he's back in my life, he goes back to being a creep. Please help me understand how a man can be so in love with the LORD and treat women so bad.

 

[MzPrince]

This lady obviously needs to get away from this man and this eleven years of madness and work on herself. On so many levels there are so many things going wrong in this letter.

 

[discobiscuits]

They are both a mess. She is the one at fault. If she didn't give him her contact info (unlisted number, didn't share her cell/e-mail with acquaintences in common etc.) he couldn't find her every where she goes.

This right here is The response that Shirley gave (minus the buy the book plug) was on point. Why are women so foolish sometimes with men?

If I call him and ask for some, he give a sermon and hangs up the phone, but if he wants it, that he will send me a message to meet him at the house.

 

[Ramya]

Maybe I'm slow but the answer is crystal clear. What is there to think about or ask? Leave him alone, change your number and move on. How can you say you love the Lord when you are worshiping this man?

 

[Bunny77]

I didn't have to read the whole letter (although I did). The first part "I've been dating the same man for 11 years," was enough for me to give my answer!

 

[lana]

Plus, neither one of them are "loving the Lord" if they are having sex outside of marriage. This lady just wants sympathy.

 

[discobiscuits]

Maybe it is "Christian" women like this that make it so that the men don't have to step up like in nicola's thread. Women are not requiring men to step up. Two things: they said it in the reply, she set her bar and he met it and I guess he is still "enjoying his single/unmarried state" and is just not ready to marry (her or anyone else) yet. LOL

 

[Bunny77]

Plus, neither one of them are "loving the Lord" if they are having sex outside of marriage. This lady just wants sympathy.

That reminds me of that song that was out in the 90s... I can't remember what it was called, but a woman was complaining about a man not making a commitment.

One line went "We've been shackin' up since '93... I need some guarantees." (It was like 1999 or early 2000s when the song came out.)

But then in another line, she gets mad at him because he never goes to church with her.

I was just a teenager/college student then, but I was like, "How y'all gonna be shackin' and sexin' and then you complain about him not going to church with you?"

 

[BeautifulFlower]

It sucks but I must agree that some fault lies with women on the current conditions of men. And the thing is, it has nothing to do with how good or open we should be to them.

We have forgetton our value.
We have forgetton our worth.
We have lowered our standards.
We have settled for mess.
We have taken petty on men's studipity.
We have not educated our daugthers.
We have ALLOWED men to be lazy.
We have ALLOWED them to be flaky.
We have loved them without commitments expecting them return the favor one day.
We have lost faith.

I am a firm believer in not blaming anyone for my current condition. Though I may not have made certain choices without a person's influence or lack thereof, it was still MY choice.

Men remaining single longer is new on the scene ya'll. 100 years ago, men got there mess together alot sooner just so they could get married (support a family and have sex with their wife).

Because women have slowly but surely tolerated "men being men" (whatever the hell that means), they have progressively gotten lazier and more self-absorbed. If I had prospects like men do, available sex without commitments, women prying over me because I am a "good" man, women that will come to my house, pamper me, cook for me, give me some, etc..., I wouldnt marry so quickly either.

Ladies stop casting your pearls before swine.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

As Alexxys K. Tyler would say. He don't luv you or the Lord, he just luv gettin in that a$$.

This is some straight foolishness.

 

[BeautifulFlower]

As Alexxys K. Tyler would say. He don't luv you or the Lord, he just luv gettin in that a$$.

This is some straight foolishness.

I remember her. She's funny...

 

[moonglowdiva]

Maybe I'm slow but the answer is crystal clear. What is there to think about or ask? Leave him alone, change your number and move on. How can you say you love the Lord when you are worshiping this man?

I didn't have to read the whole letter (although I did). The first part "I've been dating the same man for 11 years," was enough for me to give my answer!

Plus, neither one of them are "loving the Lord" if they are having sex outside of marriage. This lady just wants sympathy.

I have to agree with all of that up there ^^^

 

[daydreem2876]

All she has to do is simply say no... problem solved

 

[TayMac]

That women is dumb and blinded by their relations....he is not a devout Christian. He is a hypocrite and a playa. They are not DATING..he is her side piece and she is allowing herself to be used. Lady..mooooove on.

 

[PaperClip]

Steve and Sheryl's responses here: http://steveharvey.premiereinteractive.com/ (go to 3/26/09)

 

[Almaz]

Okay Both of these people are a bunch of Co-dependent HOT MESSES. If she knew he was a Jerk 11 years ago then she should have dropped him long ago. He comes back into you life because this Person lets him back in her life.
Sorry don't feel bad.

 

[momi]

I didn't have to read the whole letter (although I did). The first part "I've been dating the same man for 11 years," was enough for me to give my answer!

I know thats right!

 

[discobiscuits]

WHY are they discussing this letter with Steve on Oprah right now!?!?!?!? LOL!

Steve was like: has she considered that maybe she picked the wrong man? People booed, but agreed w/ him.

The bottom line, this chick who wrote the letter has made poor choices regarding this situation for 11 years. I just thought it very idiotic that she even mentioned him being a Christian. That came off to me like an excuse for his bad behavior when it should have been a clue that not only is he a cur, he's not a man after God's heart and she is one who settled for less than God's best which she herself is not behaving like either.

 

[justsimply]

Plus, neither one of them are "loving the Lord" if they are having sex outside of marriage. This lady just wants sympathy.

HELLOOOO!!! Knowing the Word and doing the Word are two different things. The Bible says that gifts coming without repentance...knowing the word makes you no more a Christian than having a beautiful singing voice. I know Christians fall, but it's obvious this man is walking, living, drowning in sin. AND if he was really a man of God, he would not disrespect women continually any more than he would kill a person. Don't get me started...too late (lol) People too often try to act "misinformed" (aka crazy stupid) when they want something that is not in accordance to God's word or even just in accordance with common sense....He beats me but the Bible says forgive everyone everything... just crazy I say...wheeee, I'm done.