Successful TRANSITIONERS: Had you ever backed out along the way to going NATURAL?

[Smiley79]

Long story short, I started the "Transitioning While BC'ing Support Thread" a while back. It's been a huge success of a thread. Well low in behold yours turly is having second thoughts.... here' what I posted:

"Unfortunatley, as we speak, I feel like the transitioning to natural is not for me right now. Initially, my main concern is that I did not want a hair regimen that is overly dependent on relaxers or any chemical processing. (and not to mention that the movie good hair made me look at relaxers in a horror filled way, lol) I thought that relaxed hair= bad hair and I was just like "bump it", I'm over the relaxer thing....But, now, I'm literally a second away from a mild relaxer and then just continue forward with my hair care regimen. With my lifestyle now of half wigs and weaves, it just clashes with what I'm into right now and I'm finding myself wanting to be a long term stretcher like the Sylvers2 method and just relax or texlax 2 to 3 times a year MAX. Do you all get where I'm coming from? Has anyone ever gotten cold feet or put off their transitioning or do I need to start a seperate thread on this? It's very annoying and a bit embarassing right now, because I feel like I'm selling out on something that I was so hyped about. The upside is that I've learned a lot over the past few months on the best hair if i decide to relax or texlax again. Meaning, I'm now more confidant and comfortable with taking the measure necessary to maintain healthy chemically treated hair. Thx for listening fam...please excuse the disappointment since I started this thread in the 1st place. Like i said before I'll make my final decision when I take it out my upcoming sew-in."

So my question is, for you succesful NATURALS, along your transitioning journey did you ever back out and give in to relaxing again or was it smooth sailing from start? Just curious, I love to hear experiences from you all.

 

[Diva_Esq]

I'm sorry for chiming in when I don't TOTALLY fit the requirements...

But I transitioned once for 11 months a little over 2 years ago & I could just kick myself everytime I think about how I could be done by now and probably on my way to MBL or WL!

But my mentality wasn't completely there then, and I wasn't as product knowledgeable. I am down until the task is complete! I will see it through this time.

Can't wait to read others' experiences. Great topic, OP!

 

[Nina_deF]

I'm not reaaly successful YET but this is my 3rd time.

Time 1 I gave up at 4 months (I relaxed), time 2 at 7 months (I texlaxed).

This time I was expecting those humps and was ready for them (with coconut oil or braids)...

And this time I am more determined.

But do what you feel is right.

If now is not the time, do it later or not at all.

 

[Foxglove]

Just do what feels right for you. Maybe now isn't the time. You can always try again in the future if you change your mind

 

[Crackers Phinn]

I was a successful transitioner in that I completed a 14 month transition and then was natural for 2ish years afterwards before I began relaxing again.

Transitioning is not easy for alot of people and you shouldn't feel bad if you hit some glitches in the process. Between months 5-9 of my transition I thought about relaxing EVERY DAY. An intervention with Mr. Maxiglide got me back on track and less stressed out for the remaining months.

Fast forward to today and I am obviously no longer natural and that's ok too. Everybody has to decide what they can make work on their own head. Personally, I think everybody should go natural just for the experience, but since I'm not going to go to everybody's house and deal with their hair for them I'm not trying to get my opinion written in stone.

 

[Smiley79]

wow, thank you so much ladies. It's just weird...6 months into I'm ready to wave the white flag....lol. I dunno anymore what it is that I want.

PS) Foxglove, that pic in your siggy sure ain't helpin' my new decision, LOL. That's why I wanted to go natural, that look is pretty to me.

 

[Smiley79]

I have a funny feeling I'm gonna be one of those that's gonna take a few attempts before i succeed all the way, lol.

 

[blksndrlla]

So, I am not who you are directing the question to, but yeah....

I still am not 100% sure and I am 18 months in...So, I just keep transitioning until I am sure of what I want to do. This is the same reason I have stopped clipping along the way and taking better care of my permed ends...I may never chop and just relax....I may chop and be natural... I'll decide when I am ready to decide. I was sure when I started, but yeah...life happens.

 

[SEMO]

Yes. I backed out like 6 months into my first transition. I didn't have LHCF (or any other source for knowledge/inspiration about natural hair) and didn't know what to do with my hair. So I relaxed it again. It was another year or two before I tried again.

My 2nd transition was much more successful and online forums, like this one, helped inspire me and help me get a game plan going. And I think having a plan (including a goal length I wanted to reach before cutting) helped tremendously.

 

[Smiley79]

I think that is a strong factor...I have no plan of action...I went in it thinking it was gonna be some walk in the park and easy transistion, but Im realizing it's a big commitment.

 

[tada1]

My last relaxer was on September 4, 2008. I did my BC in Jan 2009. but i went back and forth a few times before i made up my mind. It definitely wasn't a straightforward decision for me.

In my first attempt, I spent unspeakable hours watching videos on youtube about how beautiful natural hair is. I stalked fotki after fotki. read thread upon thread, and then did the install that was going to stay in for four months and help me go natural. I removed that weave in less than 24 hours.

the last straw was when i relaxed my hair and overprocessed it. *sigh* the rest of my hair was texlaxed and my roots were straight, flat, and i had had enough.

I only had to ask myself one question: what if i get to WL and this type of disaster happens? I would be devastated. I decided to go natural and I don't see myself going back anytime soon

the funny thing is, one of the reasons why i didn't want to go natural is that i had two bald spots at my hairline. I thought it was permanent because my dad has something similar. Imagine my surprise when those patches started filling in after i stopped relaxing i could sit here and ramble about how much i love my hair all night long.

 

[BostonMaria]

It took me YEARS so don't feel bad. Between 1999 and 2005 I tried to transition about 10 times, but couldn't deal with the bad hair days. Plus I didn't have the forums to help me along the way. In 2007 I found naturallycurly.com and it was the support I needed to help me transition successfully.

It's NOT easy. I had my good and bad days. I wish I couldve done this YEARS ago.

 

[Smiley79]

Thank you for sharing!

 

[TyHill21]

I do think you have to be in the right mind set to transition. This is how it was for me, I was like bump relaxers, my hair is thin and I want to do more texturized looks, more life to my hair-the list goes on. So I tried to transition last Feb for 3.5 months (short time I know) and caved. I blame it on spring time and the humidity . I felt bad and defeated afterward and in May I decided im ready, im in it for the long haul. And when I found lhcf it was on!!!

I just think transitioning is for some and some its not. Have you thought about texlaxing??

Oops I noticed that this wasnt directed to me b/c I am not a successful natural but I hope my post makes sense b/c I can relate

 

[RubyWoo]

Yes, several times. Prior to the board, I attempted to transition twice and made it to at least a year w/o relaxer both times. I was also transitioning with braids. However, I still desired straight hair so I relaxed both times. I made another attempt to transition in early 2008 while on the board and lasted 6 months. I knew for myself that the next time I transition, it would have to be a short one so that I wouldn't relax. And that's what I did. Doing the BC at almost 8 months post really gave me that extra push to become and stay natural. I also felt like I was truly mentally ready when previously I wasn't.

For some people, all it takes is one transition attempt to become natural. For others it takes more. You'll know when you're ready. Good luck whatever you decide to do!

 

[Smiley79]

I do think you have to be in the right mind set to transition. This is how it was for me, I was like bump relaxers, my hair is thin and I want to do more texturized looks, more life to my hair-the list goes on. So I tried to transition last Feb for 3.5 months (short time I know) and caved. I blame it on spring time and the humidity . I felt bad and defeated afterward and in May I decided im ready, im in it for the long haul. And when I found lhcf it was on!!!

I just think transitioning is for some and some its not. Have you thought about texlaxing??

Oops I noticed that this wasnt directed to me b/c I am not a successful natural but I hope my post makes sense b/c I can relate

Girl. Your experience is dead on point with how I feel. I really have a lot to think abou and yes I would consider texlax.

 

[lolascurls]

My last relaxer was on September 4, 2008. I did my BC in Jan 2009. but i went back and forth a few times before i made up my mind. It definitely wasn't a straightforward decision for me.

In my first attempt, I spent unspeakable hours watching videos on youtube about how beautiful natural hair is. I stalked fotki after fotki. read thread upon thread, and then did the install that was going to stay in for four months and help me go natural. I removed that weave in less than 24 hours.

the last straw was when i relaxed my hair and overprocessed it. *sigh* the rest of my hair was texlaxed and my roots were straight, flat, and i had had enough.

I only had to ask myself one question: what if i get to WL and this type of disaster happens? I would be devastated. I decided to go natural and I don't see myself going back anytime soon

the funny thing is, one of the reasons why i didn't want to go natural is that i had two bald spots at my hairline. I thought it was permanent because my dad has something similar. Imagine my surprise when those patches started filling in after i stopped relaxing i could sit here and ramble about how much i love my hair all night long.

I'm just starting to transition so your question is not directed at me - lol! But I feel heartened by the above post because I want my hair thicker too. I want thickness from root to tip. I also hate the thought that I only have to leave the relaxer on for 5 mins too long to ruin my texlaxed efforts!
Furthermore, to get straight hair, I need heat and my hair is still not strong enough for that. I want, instead to gain length and thickness (natural health) then use twist-out and braidout sets to fulfill the thick hair dream whilst using rollersets and saran wraps to straighten a bit.
Sorry I rambled on a bit!

 

[FAMUDva]

I did the first time I tried to transition, but I backed out based on a Dominican stylist insisting that I should "texturize" while I was transitioning. After 7-8 months of transitioning, Sshe convinced me that my hair was so bad that I needed to texturize . Well, that texturizer ended up being a freaking bone straight kiddy perm . After that I continued to relax for another 8 months then had enough and went back and restarted my transition.

The 2nd time around I didn't depend on Dominican blowouts or a traditional stylist for that matter, so I didn't have the negative comments about what I "needed" to do to my hair. My last relaxer was December 12, 2007 and I've not had second thoughts since then. On February 13, 2009 my final mini chop left me completely natural .

 

[FAMUDva]

I have to agree with everyone about the mindset. I was still focused on length when I was transitioning and my hair looked a mess . I didn't know much about products, techniques or what I should do to keep my hair strong and nice looking while transitioning. It was so frustrating and even though I was on LHCF it was still difficult. I think I jumped on every product and every bandwagon and that didn't work for me.

The 2nd time, I literally just committed to stretching for 12 months; I simply said I wasn't getting a relaxer in 2008, but wasn't 100% set on transitioning. Then somewhere along the way I fell in love with my hair and learned more about what works for MY hair. It was very easy the 2nd time around.

 

[BlackMasterPiece]

Wow, well this is ironic lol

I think you have to REALLY want it.

When I transitioned 5 yrs ago and for most of my natural journey I had no LHCF, no online forums whatsoever, I dealt with the bad hair days and taught myself to do natural styles little by little on my own. I had my supportive family and a very encouraging city for naturals so I transitioned once and I'm natural for life

I was relaxed 4 years of my life and that was more then enough for me...I was sure and I was determined. You have to be mentally ready for it and really want it, there will be a learning curve and you have to be ready to face that head on...by researching people with similar hair types and really feel excited about what it will mean for you.

 

[GodivaChocolate]

Technically this is my second time transitioning. The 1st time was about 10 years ago and I did the BC.I had less than 1/4 of an inch of hair and I cried something terrible. I thought I was ugly and "bald headed". I remember going to a New Years Eve party with a long formal gown on and my bald head I felt like a BOY...but when my hair started to grow out I texlaxed, my hair was about 2 inches and I kept it cut like that for about a year or so (people would say I looked like Halle Berry...I didn't think so but hey..I wasn't going to argue)
Fast forward I'm transitioning again, 14 months post. I'm not going to bc, even though I'm between SL and APL, about 1/2 natural and 1/2 relaxed...my only regret is that I wish I would've never relaxed. It's hard but if you can hang in there, that way you won't think "i wish I would've just waited"

I was almost convinced to relax about a month ago..I had a moment of weakness but I persevered and I'm happy I did not give in...I know in about 10 more months I will be happy that I stuck to my plan...most things worth having take some work, dedication and patience...I wish you well in whatever your decision may be

 

[Smiley79]

Thank you ladies...today I'm in a "stay natural" mood...I know, i'm a hot mess. It's so much to think about.

 

[yods]

Sorry you are feeling down, I have did a year long transition nearly 8 years ago which ended in me relaxing. I regret it because I relaxed out of frustration rather than because I really wanted to.

My advice is relax if it is what you really want but give yourself a good amount of time to think it through. Analyse what is frustrating you and see if you can overcome it. It could just be mastering a style or finding better products. Bad hair days will happen where you are relaxed or natural.

This time I only transitioned for 5 weeks lol but I have committed myself to staying natural for at least a year. I have decided that if I have tried all I can with my natural hair after a year and still don't like it then this journey is not for me then there will be no regrets or what ifs.

Hope my waffle helps you in some way.

 

[DDTexlaxed]

I've did it at 6 months my previous transition. I was at my wits end and under the impression that I don't have what it takes to care for natural hair. I have the fear that will cause my hair to fall out and lose my progress. This is my 9th transition. I'm learning so much about what I can do with my hair. This is my only successful transition because I usually just BC as soon as I have some new growth. If you decide to relax, it does not mean failure. It means you are not ready to be natural, yet. It's just another step in your journey.

 

[Smiley79]

Thanks ladies, your words of encouragement are on point!

 

[SignatureBeauty]

Just like DDTexlaxed we have been down this road at least 15 times, I want to stay natural so bad, but I always end up relaxing and regretting it, in my Heart Natural hair is better for me, but Texlaxed hair is easier for me to deal with, But I think when I Big Chop and start from a Twa it really gets to you because you have the same boring style everyday, it wasnt my texture at all or length it was the styling LOL!! But what else could I do with 1 inch of hair?

Anyway Hopefully I can go this whole year without texlax touch up and see what a Year brings me, if I can make it to one year I will be good to go LOL!! You will be fine!!