To Give Or Not To Give Advice??

[BayAreaDream]

Just wondering what you ladies thoughts are about getting advice from strangers on the street about how to care for YOUR hair. It seems as if I keep having run in's with ladies who want to give me advice about hair. Sunday at the BSS I picked some supplies to make a Duby quick weave on a stocking cap, as I picked up the glue a woman decided to ramble on and on to me about how glue was not good for my hair. Duuhhhh. Today at work a woman pulled me to the side and called me out on weave I had in about 2 months ago!! She then went on and on about how heat was bad and her hair grew long and strong from not using heat. She told me about IC products (I have tons of IC products LOL, Im a product junkie), air drying and wrapping my hair at night. I asked her if she was a member of the LHCF, she said no and had no idea what I was speaking of. Im not a hair expert but I feel I know a lot about hair care and and my hair thriving because of you ladies. Just wondering how you take advice from random ladies about hair care.

 

[Aireen]

Well I only give advice if and when people ask.

I don't mind if people give me tips here and there if I REALLY need it and/or their hair or whatever else looks BOMB.
Although, I'm not about to listen to a long lecture full of attitude from someone with hair equal to mine or worse in terms of health, long or short. In the end I'm thinking, "Uhm, like who asked you anyway?"

 

[LaFemmeNaturelle]

I just let it go in one ear and out the other. My moms friend, who has BEAUTIFUL mbl hair, told me to stop wearing buns and ponytails and to wear my hair down everyday because of the tension I was causing and said my hair would fall out....well this was last summer when she said that and my hair is now HER length so I can't wait to see her and swang in her face

PS-yes i know it's true that tension leads to breakage but she shouldn't have assumed that my buns were tight

ETA: My stylist told me I couldn't grow my perm out because all of my hair would break off. She didn't try to explain how to prevent breakage, just said that it would. My previous stylist told me not to use any products with protein because I didnt know what I was doing and my hair would fall out. She also didnt take the time to inform me how to use the products properly.

 

[belldandy]

I dont mind, I am going to do what i want anyhow. hair or no hair, i'm pretty confident and if someone wants to talk about hair, I am ready. With stubborn ppl i just pretty much smile and nod.

I usually get ppl asking me questions though. The only bad advice I usually hear is from stylists, or people who do hair in their kitchens. People on the street usually admire my hair because I like walking around with a big curly 'fro.

 

[song_of_serenity]

I guess they may feel they're helping, but it can come across as rude depending on their delivery. Like some of us may itch to tell someone "DON'T DO THAT!!!" when you see them raking through their natural hair with a rat tail comb or shellacking their hair with brown gel and dragging it up in a tight ponytail (with thin edges) it may be the case with them.

Maybe they mean no harm.

 

[LaFemmeNaturelle]

I love brown gel lol

 

[Aireen]

I guess they may feel they're helping, but it can come across as rude depending on their delivery. Like some of us may itch to tell someone "DON'T DO THAT!!!" when you see them raking through their natural hair with a rat tail comb or shellacking their hair with brown gel and dragging it up in a tight ponytail (with thin edges) it may be the case with them.

Maybe they mean no harm.

This used to be me! Minus the brown gel, I used moisturizer instead but too much pulling and too much product caused thinning nevertheless.

 

[belldandy]

i think most of the time they mean not harm too.
like the time i was in the bss, this guy was in awe of my hair and was asking me all types of questions, then he is like, "you should try dr.miracles products, great for black hair" i was just in there for a satin cap to put over my 'fro

(i am scared of dr. miracle)

 

[LaFemmeNaturelle]

They may not mean any harm but IMO they dont have a right to give it. If I don't ask you for your opinion, then don't give it. That's like randomly waiting outside of McDonalds and stopping customers and telling them not to eat fast food because whatever reasons there are not to eat it that the customer does not know of. If I ask you for hair advice, then I will be glad to hear what you have to say. Otherwise, keep it to yourself. I don't give advice unless someone asks me and first I have to know that they are truly interested in haircare before I give a long answer.

 

[song_of_serenity]

Some people don't have "couth" so to speak. They may be so into "helping a sista out" that they don't see their words may be taken as insulting vs helpful.
You know you're doing right by your hair and it's thriving, so even if you do take it for rudeness, just keep on doing what you're doing and your results speak for themselves.

 

[Aireen]

They may not mean any harm but IMO they dont have a right to give it. If I don't ask you for your opinion, then don't give it. That's like randomly waiting outside of McDonalds and stopping customers and telling them not to eat fast food because whatever reasons there are not to eat it that the customer does not know of. If I ask you for hair advice, then I will be glad to hear what you have to say. Otherwise, keep it to yourself. I don't give advice unless someone asks me and first I have to know that they are truly interested in haircare before I give a long answer.

Couldn't have said it better myself.

 

[BayAreaDream]

Yeah I suppose they do feel as if they are helping. Just I've never been one to open up an give advice to others out of the blue. I can talk about hair ALL day with those who are serious about it but to blurt out random advice for some one not even asking wouldn't feel right. Only if asked. Weave etiquette for strangers: start slow, introduce yourself, then ask LoL.

 

[She-Ra]

Usually I don't mind except:

1. When bald headed or damaged haired dames try to give me advice.(Why would I take advice from you?)
2. They appear to not know what they're talking about.(Though I have been schooled by a recent new friend who's a white guy. He had an ex who was black and sneak used her products when she wasn't looking. He introduced me to it's a 10 products)
3. That friend who always have something to say about your hair to the point of annoyance and possible "de-friending".
4. In a bad mood.

 

[brownstallion]

I think different techniques work for everyone. Lots of ladies swear by not using heat for me, When I use heat or keep my hair straight my hair thrives. I have always had long, thick,flat ironed, and relaxed hair. I'm no transitioning because I want natural hair and I want to be chemical free.

My stylist of 5 years didn't discourage me from going natural but I can tell she was surprised. She told me that my hair would shed and not to be alarmed. She told me to use protein and which ones if I couldn't go to a salon. She told me to stay on top of my trims even if I have to do them myself. Being that I was moving to Germany she hooked me up with lots of products to help me along the way. I have to say I think I'm doing ok minus the breakage I have in the crown of my head. This also was a problem when I was relaxed, I think it is more noticeable because of the thick new growth. Overall I think everyone's hair responds to different things.

 

[beans4reezy]

If I don't ask for your advice, then please don't offer any.

 

[FroFab]

Just smile and nod.

 

[Vashti]

Depends on the spirit in which it was said. I don't take offence unless they have an attitude about it.

 

[BlackMasterPiece]

Hmmm good question. Thats never happened to me.

As for me giving advice I give tips on the regular. Usually within the first day of a girl knowing me they'll ask about my hair and what I do, then the conversation will naturally segway into advice for their hair and they gladly welcome it.

I give tips to complete strangers if they're loudly asking for advice in the BSS or when ladies walk up to me in the middle of the street

I think the ladies that made those comments to you were just trying to help ESPECIALLY about the hair glueerplexed

 

[brucebettye]

I only give advice when asked. I never get anyone asking me for advice except for people I know. Strangers just always stare at my fro.