what would you do? (thinking of going natural)

[beana3]

Well I had a pleasant wash experience this past saturday and i was pleasantly surprised to find that my hair wasn't kinky at all at the roots. I mean when i blow dried the roots it had a nice loose wave pattern in some areas i call 4a.. and the 3c areas of my hair were very straight with the use of heat. I've gone very long without a relaxer and i was comtemplating going natural... but ONLY if my hair (when natural) had a wavy pattern mixed w/ a curly one. since i dont know what my natural hair would be like.. Im kind of hesistant to make this change.
I mean do i give up a life of chemicals that have weakend my hair, for a life of heat and running from the rain??? lol. hmmm neither sounds too great to me. depending upon my style options i think i'll make the change. I love curly wild looking hair, and if my hair grows to be like that then i dont think i'll need to straighten it with heat as much. imm very confused because i know ill have the urge to have swinging hair again /images/graemlins/confused.gif
plus (and this is a lame reason) my boyfriend likes straight hair... but i guess as i grow my relaxer out ill be growing him out also!!!
I hjust need some guidance from those who have been there before.... i dont want to 1/2 a$$ and get my self into trouble w/ my hair

 

[sweetcocoa]

Personally I use less heat since I went natural. I love swinging hair also...but it doesn't seem to stay straight very long for me /images/graemlins/frown.gif (I posted about this earlier this week)...which makes me want to relax sometimes...but I usually change my mind once I feel how soft and moisturized my hair and scalp are.I mostly wear my hair in a bun.

 

[sassygirl125]

Go for it! If you hate it you can always relax again. Your boyfriend will just have to deal. It's your hair. Tell him to grow and perm his own if he wants to run his fingers through long, straight hair. /images/graemlins/tongue.gif
I can relate to your concern with what your natural hair will look like. Wavy hair is out of the question for me, but I do want curls. I don't care if they are tight as long as they coil up. And there's always the braid-out, the twist-out and the fluffy-pouf-on-top-of-the-head syles. /images/graemlins/grin.gif
From your description of your hair, you wouldn't need heat for a curly look. Just some good hair products. You could probably braid it while it's damp and have waves when it's dry. You should check out the forum at naturallycurly.com

 

[NayNay]

Beana3
I am NEW to the BETTER hair care world but now go 3 months without a relaxer and sometimes wonder about transitioning to natural but off I go to the hairdresser. It takes absolutely no time for my hair to breakdown with a relaxer! By the time the hairstylist has finished applying the relaxer I rush to the sink! Sometimes she can barely work it thru 2x! I have a tight S curl pattern, but my hair does not wave or curl or do anything in a natural state. It just kinda hangs out! It can be blown out, holds curls (wet set) like no tomorrow in its natural state. But I am with Sassy GO FOR IT! Be the brave one for US! Here is a website I found and I cornrowed my hair in a wet set (took over 10 hours to air dry YUCK) but it looked kinda like this chica's hair but with less wave and more curls. Twist look stupid on me BRAIDED cornrows are wonderful. Hope her NATURAL SITE helps! /images/graemlins/grin.gif
http://haircare.aldrea.com/photos.htm

 

[garr6982]

Very Long so get you something to drink /images/graemlins/grin.gif!

Well, (and this is truly my opinion) the first thing I will say to you is that it takes a LOOOOTTTT of patience to go natural but after you get there, you may not want to go back! (Trust me I tried it and wished I hadn't 'cuz I love my hair now)!

Again, everyone is different and others may hate being natural! Different things for different people /images/graemlins/laugh.gif !

I started my journey in December, 2000 when I did a virgin perm 7 months earlier over an entire head of relaxed hair, save for 3 inches which was natural hair! I sat there like a dummy in the hairdresser's chair because I thought that my hair was totally natural and I truly needed a virgin relaxer. WRONG! The hair loss was gradual but definite as I also experienced hair loss from going natural by trying to maintain 2 textures; difficult but not impossible. However if I had it to do again, I would just cut it off, "big chop /images/graemlins/ooo.gif". I also cheated and put a stanking (not stinking) Vigorol in my hair (my biggest regret) /images/graemlins/frown.gif !

What saved me (even after all of that) were all of the helpful websites of other natural women (I'll give you those later) and wearing my hair in braids, 2 months at a time with a week of rest, no heat, olive oil conditioners, and protective hairstyles.

Now 23 months later (okay counting the Vigorol disaster 16 months /images/graemlins/shocked.gif) I have some 3c, mostly 4a/b thick, soft wonderful hair! I will tell you, the patient part comes in getting past that first year of scab hair (from Pamela Ferrel's book, another source of inspiration) where your hair has to get back to its "natural" state. {Imagine scab from a wound and the new skin that comes after the healing process}. Since you have noticed 3c/4a type hair growing through, this may be a good indicator of how your hair will be once it grows out. I also noticed 3c hair at the roots when it was time for my braids to be done. However, I've learned from several natural hair ladies that not all of us will have curls/waves/coils in our natural (past scab stage)state and I thought I would also fit that category after I took my braids down and the 3c hair was only new growth and the undetermined stuff was the rest. (Little did I know that was scab hair)!

Mind you if I didn't see curls/waves/coils I would have looked to the sistas with similar hair that rocked it to death /images/graemlins/wink.gif, and followed their lead because there are so many styling options for AA hair whether natural/relaxed/etc.!

Okay, more encouragement /images/graemlins/laugh.gif!

Go to http://nappturality.com (click Women on the Web, look for pictures of Yante Coi, DeeCoily, MotownGirl, PoetryNMotion(I think) Got2BFree, Monicurl, who is also on this site /images/graemlins/grin.gif) just to name a few and click on their pictures, get out a pen and pad and take notes! These sistas are tight! They know how to work some natural hair and they are so wonderful to share hairstyle tips, pictures of progress, and products they used! I found that the discussions were a serious source of inspiration, encouragement, and knowledge about going/being natural,(not unlike the jewels who are on this site /images/graemlins/smile.gif )! These are just a few ladies that I named but there are so many others. Just click their pictures to view their albums, if they are not password protected you can view all their pics /images/graemlins/laugh.gif.

Other helpful sites are http://naturallycurly.com, http://nappyhair.com (another great site with great sistas who share), and http://ourhair.com or http://ourhair.net, another star!

Lastly, you can still wear your hair flowing but now you can also wear it in natural styles, something I never fathomed me doing since I didn't think my hair could do it!

Sorry this was long but I know what you're going through and I want to help any way that I can. Just to return the favor that has been given to me /images/graemlins/wink.gif!

Let me know how it goes and Happy Growing!

P.S. Okay can someone tell me to go back to work /images/graemlins/wink.gif!

garr6982 also known as PeachyQueen!

 

[Blackndiangirl]

I think if you want to do it. Go for it the hell with what everybodyelse says. Its your hair do what you want to do with it. I will back you up 100% and probally so will the rest of these ladys. Ive been natural for 3years now and i think what help me was the support from this discuession board and all the other natural board(because i sure wasent getting it from my family) They also have books out there to help people with natural hair learn how to maintain it and keep it long and healthy. I went to www.amazon.com and found alot of books for people with natural hair,you would be surprised at how many books are out there. I think you should get No Lye(thats a good book for beginners that are thinking about going natural and also Pamela Farrell(i hope i spelled that right. Get her book called Lets talk about hair. There are also others out there that will help you. But anyway if you decide to take that journey well be behinde you 100%. Good Luck

 

[sassygirl125]

Peachy Queen:
I remember you from the other forum!
How could I forget to recommend MotownGirl's site?! A virtual plethora of natural hair info! LOL She's my new hair idol. The Mowry twins will have to get over it. /images/graemlins/wink.gif I live in Columbia, SC where natural hair seems to be very rare. Unless it's worn in braids or an afro. MotownGirl's site showed me that I could have natural hair and wear it loose without being stuck with a fluffy 'fro as my only style option. (My head is big enough, thanks!) Whenever I get the urge to give up and relax my hair I check out her site and Dee Coily's. When my natural hair is wet, it looks exactly like Dee's when hers is wet. When mine dries it looks like a cheap bath mat, but I'm working on that /images/graemlins/grin.gif I know I need to cut off the relaxed ends, but I really want to wait until I have some more hair. Lessen the shock factor...
Beana: Pamela Ferrell's book is very good. I'd definately get that one. But Curly Girl by Lorraine Massey has some good tips in it, too. I was surprised! You may also want to read Curl Talk. Check out MotownGirl's page. She has sooooo many different styles that she does all by herself. They seem relatively easy to do, too.

 

[skegeesmb]

Girl, I can tell you, natural hair is a lot of work. But then again once it gets a certain length, for me being natural was a good thing. I've learned that what I did to have straight relaxed hair is exactly what I do now to have straight non-chemical hair. I would wash, blowdry/airdry, then flat iron my hair and it would be super straight. Now I do the same things, and my hair looks just like a relaxer, until I wash my hair and my curls come back.

I love my curls, and I can't wait for them to get longer, so I can wear it natural more often ( I look like Rosanna Danna (sp) from Saturday Night live). When my hair reaches chin length wet, I will wear my hair natural more. But since my hair shrinks more in the back and has less shrinkage at the top, I'm doing a waiting game.

I transitioned from Dec 17th 2001 until April 1, 2002. I cut my hair into a Halle Berry haircut. I started growing it out again after cutting it the next month, and now when straightened the back of my hair is at the top of my neck and just past my ears in the front. When wet, my hair shrinks just a little bit past my ears, and the back is in fat curls in the back. The top of my hair though in the back is starting to hang down and cover the curlier hair.

If you can deal with whatever grows out of your hair, I would strongly suggest doing it. If you're feeling funny about cutting your hair off right away wear braids, and when your hair grows to a certain length cut it. I chopped mine off. I miss my hair a lot, but I'm glad I did it then, and didn't wait until now to cut.

I have almost a year of being relaxer free (Dec. 17, 2002) and my natural anniversary will be April 2003, which will be 1 year and 4 months relaxer free.

 

[beana3]

i've never heard of scab hair before..the term scares me!! The worst thing im thinking i could possibly do to my hair is say im going natural and about 3-4 inches out (not taking into consideration all the breakage that might occur from the transitioning) decide to relax again and have horrible relaxed ends on newly relaxed hair!!!
is it even possible to maintain both textures and control breakage at the same time???? i just couldn't bring myself to taking the big chop all at once. maybe i'll cut an inch of relaxed hair a month and wear my hair in braids or a weave in between to minimize the stress that comes from combing the 2 textures that eventually leads to breakage. does this sound good.
I think im ready to embrace my natural hair

 

[Honey Vibe]

Which link is MotownGirl's hair site?

 

[skyye]

Hi Beana. Let me tell you what I did with my hair. In about the summer of 1999 I realized that my hair was damaged beyond repair by relaxers and color and all kinds of stuff like that. I decided then and there that I would not ever relax my hair again. I got a sewn in weave, with my hair braided underneath. I replaced the weave every month. It was not very costly because my sister is the queen of the sewn in weave. Anyway, once I had about 5 inches of new growth I just cut all the relaxed hair off and continued to get the weave in. When my hair was slightly below my ears, I began to wear it out in twists and twist outs and things of that nature. It was cute. My hair is very thick and nappy, so it was a chore to wash it and comb it. I began getting my natural hair washed, set and blow dryed by a Dominican lady in the Bronx. She kept encouraging me to relax, but I resisted. After about a 6 months of going to the Dominican lady, I decided to allow her to texturize my hair. That worked out very well and loosened my natural curl pattern and when I washed and let it air dry, my hair looked like Joan on Girlfriends. I wasn't all too into curly hair, so I continued with the wash, set and blow dry. Eventually I allowed my hair stylist to begin relaxing the roots of my hair, but not allowing her to get it bone straight. About 2 months ago I had my stylist run the relaxer through the length of my hair, but not for long. It's pretty straight, but when I wash it and blow dry it at home, it does still appears as though it were natural. I'm happy with it this way. The lady who does my hair is very good with it and all her clients with relaxed hair have long healthy hair. In fact, I'm the client with the shortest hair and my hair is 24 inches long. I'm about 3 inches from bra strap length. Being natural is was a chore for me and in the end did not work because I constantly wanted my hair straight. I now have someone who properly relaxes my roots when needed and maintains the health of my hair. I also wash at home and have picked up wonderful tips from this board and the LHL board in the past. If being natural is something you think you want to do, go for it. You can always relax again and there's nothing like getting a relaxer in virgin hair. It will give you a chance to start fresh all over again. I loved my natural hair, but I like it better more this way. Somewhere down the line, I may choose to go natual again, though I don't forsee that in my near future. If you're not sure, just wait until you accumulate enough growth to feel secure in chopping the relaxed hair off. It really won't be a big deal and you will have a head full of hair to relax if you so choose. Sorry this is so long.

 

[LondonDiva]

</font><blockquote><font class="small">In reply to:</font><hr />

I think im ready to embrace my natural hair

[/ QUOTE ]

Good Luck Beana with your hair journey.

 

[Integrity]

no ned to apologize for long posts. next time, ladies, paragraphing will make it more easier to read. /images/graemlins/wink.gif

 

[beana3]

thanks to all who have encouraged me in this matter. i will let you ladiesknow my final decision in about two weeks... oh and BTW i actually LIKE reading long posts!

 

[sassygirl125]

Honey Vibe:
http://motowngrl.8m.net/now.html
http://haircare.aldrea.com/photos.htm

She and Aldrea are my hair idols. I can't wait to be 100% natural!