Young Christian Ladies:Do You ever feel lonely??

[MsSharee06]

I recently decided to give my life to christ (about a year ago). I noticed that when I was living for the world, I always had friends and people to hang out with. But ever since I got saved all of my friends suddenly started to disappear, due to me not wanting to indulge in drinking, clubbing, etc. And lately I have been feeling so isolated, is this just a phase or is this what I have to look forward to. I never regret my decision to live my life for God, but I just wonder why its so hard to find young black females to hang out with who love God and still know how to have good clean fun.

 

[Cleanheart25]

Yes I have.

And the same situation can and may happen throughout your walk in the Word and as you build your relationship with Christ. But what worked for me was to get involved in young adult groups at my church, a Bible Study Fellowship www.bsfinternational.org that had a lot of women my age, and attending all the various Ministry Events in my City or at other churches. Pray and ask God to send you friends who will strength your faith in Jesus and The Word, and pray for your friends that they may come to know Jesus as their Lord and Savior too! Here is a good prayer that will help you with what you are going through, from prayers.org-my Pastor told me to get this book Prayers that Avail Much 25th Anniversary (like 5-6 years ago) and my prayer life blossomed! Many of them are on the prayer search part tof the website...www.prayers.org

Overcoming a Feeling of Abandonment


Prayer

Father, I have confessed Jesus as my Lord and believe in my heart that You raised Him from the dead. I ask for the power of the Holy Spirit to overcome the resentment I feel towards those who abused and abandoned me.

Now, I am Your child. When other people leave me and I feel unloved, I am thankful that You will never, ever leave me alone or reject me.

Jesus gave His life for me and called me His friend. He lives in my heart, and I am on my way to heaven. That is plenty to be thankful for. So when I am lonely or discouraged, I can think of things that are pure and holy and good, even when I am apart from everyone.

Heavenly Father, I ask You to strengthen me and help me while in the presence of the dangers surrounding me. You have assigned angels who will accompany, defend and preserve me in all my ways [of obedience and service]. I am not alone. Your Word says that there is nothing that can separate me from the love of Christ — not pain nor stress nor persecution. I will come to the top of every circumstance or trial through Jesus’ love.

You are concerned with the smallest detail that concerns me, and You are my Help. I ask You for friends who will admonish and encourage me. Teach me how to trust others and be a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Help me to walk in Your love and show myself friendly.

In Jesus’ name, amen.




If you would like to continue to pray on this topic, Germaine suggests that you pray the Overcoming prayers in the Prayers for the Needs and Concerns of the Individual section to be found in the Prayers That Avail Much Commemorative Edition.

Scripture References:
Romans 10:9,10 niv Psalm 91:11 amp
Hebrews 13:5 niv Romans 8:35,39
John 15:13-15 niv Psalm 138:8 amp
1 Thessalonians 5:18 tlb Psalm 46:1 message
Philippians 4:8 tlb Proverbs 18:24
Isaiah 41:10 tlb

 

[Rapunzel*]

I recently decided to give my life to christ (about a year ago). I noticed that when I was living for the world, I always had friends and people to hang out with. But ever since I got saved all of my friends suddenly started to disappear, due to me not wanting to indulge in drinking, clubbing, etc. And lately I have been feeling so isolated, is this just a phase or is this what I have to look forward to. I never regret my decision to live my life for God, but I just wonder why its so hard to find young black females to hang out with who love God and still know how to have good clean fun.

thats the thing when your saved god will restore you with new friends. when you go to church hang out with sisters and brothers in Christ god will give you new friends real friends you just have to trust and believe in him and he will bless you abundantly

 

[Evolving78]

I recently decided to give my life to christ (about a year ago). I noticed that when I was living for the world, I always had friends and people to hang out with. But ever since I got saved all of my friends suddenly started to disappear, due to me not wanting to indulge in drinking, clubbing, etc. And lately I have been feeling so isolated, is this just a phase or is this what I have to look forward to. I never regret my decision to live my life for God, but I just wonder why its so hard to find young black females to hang out with who love God and still know how to have good clean fun.

Yeah that happened to me and it is hard to accept. Think of it as taking up your cross. I'm not going to say that you are on another level, but that you are at a different place in your life and maybe you should look into some groups or ministries that interest you to meet new people that are on the same path as you are. I had a friend who I feel has dissed me because she feels that she is more spiritually mature than me, but hey whatever.
Just be careful because there is a fine line between being righteous and being self righteous.

 

[HeChangedMyName]

thats the thing when your saved god will restore you with new friends. when you go to church hang out with sisters and brothers in Christ god will give you new friends real friends you just have to trust and believe in him and he will bless you abundantly

I agree. I felt like that at first, but then I got use to the feeling of not "having" to go to the club and not "wanting" to get my drink on. Now, I have to go to church for functions because I get to see my friends there, and I want to participate in different ministry functions. I still keep in contact with my old friends, but they all know that I no longer drink and party,

 

[metamorfhosis]

MsSharee06-

When I was in high school, it was kind of odd. I was popular but really didn't have any friends. And I really accomplished a lot. Then when I went to college, boy I let anyone who wanted to enter my life in. I had lots of "friends". But they would say things to me to eat away at my self-esteem. I just ignored them--afterall me and the girls had to hang out.

Long story short--There was a time when I REALLY needed someone. And those self-absorbed "friends" of mine were not there for me. One did "appear" to have concern but we went out to dinner a couple of times and it was always about her.

You know you would think that you could confide in a good friend but the two who I did this with stabbed me in the back.

I think friendship is overrated. GOD cleaned house for me when I was too weak to do it. People come into your life for a reason, and season, or forever. Their time had expired but I was still trying to hold on.

If you can have a true friendship, it's a beautiful thing. My Mom has reunited with a college mate after like 40 years. They have so much in common and have a beautiful friendship. They even know how far to go with each other (boundaries).

I have found that GOD is my everything--my best friend. I can tell HIM anything and HE will keep it confidential. I don't even miss my large group of friends now. I did in the beginning. It was kind of like going through withdrawal. But I had to learn how to depend on myself. I have a couple of friends and some associates. And I have gotten closer to my family which is very important to me.

It can be a little lonely when you first get saved. But you get stronger as time goes by...... :reddancer:

 

[MsSharee06]

Thank you for the responses everybody, I feel alot better knowing that I'm not alone

 

[memee1978]

when you are a foloower of jesus,you are no longer a friend of the world.....god said,the world so hated me first..........keep that in mind,when you are a follower of christ you will be rejected just as he was rejected!!!!!!!!!!!!!!i know that its hard.its stil hard.i feel lonly a lot...but at the same time i know one thing,,,a lot o people are experiencing a temporary type of happiness!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Ramya]

The same thing happened to me. I lost ALL of my friends, seriously every last one of them. I remember the first time I prayed about wanting friends God told me to focus on His business and He will provide for me. That kept me for a while but I was still friendless and asked again LOL. This time I had a dream about a male and a female both I knew in passing. That Sunday at church all 3 of us ended up in the same row which is surprising b/c my church is literally huge. After service we ended up staying and chatting. Turns out we all had a lot in common and were in the same place in our walk with God. We went to brunch together and started our biweekly bible study that very day.

The guy ended up transferring to another university a few months later but we see each other every sunday and still pray together. and the girl is my best friend and spiritual sister. As time went on our little circle began to fill out nicely. The point is ask and you shall receive. Also be active, you'd be surprised who you will meet in bible study or who's hiding in the crowd. Don't be afraid to start conversations with other Christians you may have more in common than you think.

 

[Jenaee]

Thanks for this post. I needed to read this!!!

 

[kweenameena]

great thread....I needed this too.
I had "christian" friends who turned out to be worse than my worldly friends. They ALL have been removed from my life. So now I'm praying for some new God-given friends. There are definitely times when I want to call some of my old friends because I feel they understand me or I just want to vent or even just because I miss them. Things get lonely often but I'm still waiting for my "friend" who can grow with me in Christ. And I know that God will provide when he feels I'm ready. Right now, he has me alone so I can grow thru his influence alone. He just wants some father-daughter time w/me (without distractions)

 

[chinadoll]

I feel like that sometimes. I never really had friends, more like aquintances. I'm beginning to realize the true intentions of some people, because some people who I thought were my friends are not. More like they take advantage of other people and backstabbers. Ive been praying for Godly friends, and I'm sure I will get some, but not right now.

 

[BeautifulRoots]

The same thing happened to me. I lost ALL of my friends, seriously every last one of them. I remember the first time I prayed about wanting friends God told me to focus on His business and He will provide for me. That kept me for a while but I was still friendless and asked again LOL. This time I had a dream about a male and a female both I knew in passing. That Sunday at church all 3 of us ended up in the same row which is surprising b/c my church is literally huge. After service we ended up staying and chatting. Turns out we all had a lot in common and were in the same place in our walk with God. We went to brunch together and started our biweekly bible study that very day.

The guy ended up transferring to another university a few months later but we see each other every sunday and still pray together. and the girl is my best friend and spiritual sister. As time went on our little circle began to fill out nicely. The point is ask and you shall receive. Also be active, you'd be surprised who you will meet in bible study or who's hiding in the crowd. Don't be afraid to start conversations with other Christians you may have more in common than you think.

Wow, thanks for that comment. I really needed to see this. Right now im praying for new christian friends to enter my life. A close friend of mine had to move far away and I know it wont be the same. We spent just about everyday together, the person also helped me out a lot especially with being the woman I want to be. So when they had to leave, I was like "God, why did you take them out of my life?" (yea, we can talk on the phone which is cool, but its not like it was before.) I was really sad and I felt lonely. Actually I still feel lonely, alot. I know what God wants. He gave me this time by myself to really grow as a christian and let him know that he will bring me through these times. It just gets sooo lonely sometimes. :-( So anywayz, I started to pray for quality christian friends to enter my life. I know God will answer the prayer...its just a matter of time.

 

[MACgirl2k2]

I’m a lurker who very seldom post and this is exactly why. I too have given my life to the lord and have lost friends. I often feel alone and keep to myself. Every night before I go to sleep, I stare out the window and ask God if I am being punished? Is this a test? I feel so alone and confused. But I continue to keep the faith and try to refocus on things that make me happy. I am all about creating my own happiness and not letting anyone steal my joy. God has been good to me and I just can’t believe that he would let me be lonely without a purpose in life's lesson.

 

[kweenameena]

So ummmm......are any of ya'll lonely sistas in the D.M.V area?
I'm just sayin'.....we could have a young, christian and lonely meet-up group or something.

 

[EbonyEyes]

One of the things I've struggled with for a long time is loneliness and rejection. Satan knows that these are two areas that hurt my heart so he attacks me with those feelings every chance he gets.

I have hardly any friends or associates. Never have. On more than one occassion, my phone has gone two days with no-one calling me to see how I was doing. I'm usually the one that does the calling. However, my boyfriend has been popular for as long as I've known him. People came to visit him at his dormroom all hours of the night while he was in college, and his phone would ring so much that he would actually turn it off to have some time to himself. In present times, his phone will be ringing off the hook when we are hanging out together. And every weekend, he's getting invites to chill somewhere.

What I've started doing is re-citing scriptures on loneliness and rejection and remembering that what's really important is that God is thinking of me at ALL times!

My mom, knowing my stuggle, wrote me the following in a card:
"You may be struggling with rejection from the outside world but remember that seeking or expecting friendship from the outside world is enmity with God."

I have to learn to focus on my Heavenly Father's business and I believe that at the appointed time, He will place some God-loving friends in my life.

In the meantime, I need to start participating in Christian events and meetings outside of Sunday worship service.

kweenameena, I'm in MD!

 

[SvelteVelvet]

I'm glad you posted this, because I went through this very thing recently in seeking God and wanting to devote more time to my goals, certain "friends" left right along with it. It does feel like punishment in the beginning. But I know that it was God's plan because the way these "friends" lived their lives is not the way for me to reach my life goals. These were very time consuming friends, calling me at least 2 times a day and making plans for 3 days out of the week every week.

Now I have one friend I see about twice a month and we check up on each other and are more spiritually in tune, and she's just as supportive as I am. My other "friends" were alot more self-absorbed and didn't reciprocate the type of friend I was. I just think now I have time to pursue my life plans and walk into God's purpose of my life, not just dream about it while my life is passing me by being in the club or getting too drunk to stand-up or living a life that seems to revolves around someone other than my own. That feeling of abandonment is just the enemy trying to get you to second guess your choices but through time and remaining steadfast in your decision you will see it as a necessary process. He will bless you with better relationships and friendships that reflect the new and improved you.

 

[phynestone]

My mother has said a lot of the same things many of you have mentioned. I'm getting to the point where I'm comfortable not having many friends...God is putting a hedge around you for a good reason. The right folks will come into your life.

 

[prettywhitty]

I am going thru this now. When I first began to walk with the Lord, I stopped hanging out with my partying friends, and I was very lonely. Then I met some people, but they moved. I have one close friend, but she moved to another city. So I am believing God for Godly friends that aren't moving anytime soon.

 

[axon12]

So ummmm......are any of ya'll lonely sistas in the D.M.V area?
I'm just sayin'.....we could have a young, christian and lonely meet-up group or something.

I'd love to join you but I'm in Houston. Any lonley sisters in H Town?

 

[MsSharee06]

Any lonely sistas in the detroit area, maybe we all can have a meet up