ajoke
Well-Known Member
Hello Ladies, I am in a bit of a dilemma and I need you advice, your experience and your prayers. My pastor asked me to join the youth ministry ( 14- 25) as a mentor about 2 years ago. It was a new concept he brought in as the youth ministry had not been functioning as it should and he wanted to bring some structure to it. There was a team of leaders who were elected, but people just did what they wanted when they wanted. He appointed 3 mentors and we attended the youth meetings where we could and tried to call them up regularly and build relationships with them. There were some internal struggles amongst the youth, one of the girls, A is a pastors daughter from another city and more dedicated to church, and she became 'pastors pet' so after a while the youth leader stopped coming to church. When the next round to elect leaders came she was elected youth leader. She has been really faithful in organising, but also a very polarising figure, she's only 22 and the pastor keeps bringing her to internal meetings of the church leadership and even let her preach in church and many people disapprove of this. Now, I really don't care and even thank God that a young girl is so faithful, but she does have a very high opinion of herself and could do with a good dose of humility. There has been a lot of growth in the youth in the last 2 year. They are in the translation, music and welcoming ministries and they organise lots of events. My issue is that it's more like an activity led thing, spiritual gifts are sparse and if you try to correct in love, you are placed on the ignore list. A is a powerful young woman and action driven. She expects a lot of the youth and only accepts guidance from the pastor. The youth are intimidated by her and there are two ladies (E& I) in the church they talk to - not the mentors. E's husband became a mentor belatedly. Instead of giving them what I would consider godly advice, she gossips with them and stokes the fires in my opinion. She has relaxed expectations of them, like sex before marriage is okay, I just want to know whom you are with etc. Her own daughter got married at 19, without either her or her DH having finished their apprenticeship and now has a daughter( grandma is not yet 40) and is the person all the youth ate looking up to. When the youth come to E and DH instead of him involving the other mentors, he calls the youth to him and his wife and some other people. Sometimes the youth have night parties, dress in ways I don't always consider the best and the only difference with a worldly party is the lack of alcohol. E & husband support these. They stopped inviting me after I made my disapproval known. E says you can't hold the children of nowadays who are growing up in Europe to the same standards as "African standards" ( she is also African) , forgetting our standards have no nationality- they are biblical standards. Anyway, there is no structure to the mentoring, they call us when and if they want and mostly go to Pastor directly. I blame him for not sending them back to the mentors. I tried to leave the mentoring earlier this year, but was prevailed on to stay on. For me, I am not making any impact as the whole structure is wrong and I don't want my name associated with something that is not going the way it should and not glorifying God. There is a lot of external growth, but the core is stunted. I also think the age range is too wide. We will having a leaders and mentors meeting at my instigation and I would like to go with concrete proposals of the way forward. That's what I need your help with. How's the youth organised with respect to leadership and what's the role of adults in your church. Please share your experience. I am praying about this and your prayers would also be appreciated. If nothing changes within the next 6 months, I have decided to leave the youth ministry. Thanks in advance for your responses and prayers.
