youtube girl hair abuse update

BlackMasterPiece said:
I'm very conflicted about this whole situation. I'm very glad that the OP is so adamantly supportive of those childrens welfare, but at the same time, no matter what the situation is, being taken away from your mother forcibly is very traumatizing for a child. My hope is that the mother learns from this situation gets her life together and regains custody, psychologically any possible resolution with the birth mother will be the healthiest solution.

I mean, my mom didn't know a THING about caring for my natural hair, I would cry while she was ripping thru my dry kinky hair it would take a full day for her to style my hair, she'd always straighten it with an outdated over the stove hot comb that I was terrified of even though she was gentle and soothing then she'd tell me she always wanted me to stay natural and never get a perm:ohwell: I think some people just genuinely don't know

I think this mother is just extremly hood and undereducated. I hope she sees the error in her ways and does what it takes to win back custody and be the kind of mother that fosters high self-esteem in her children.
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I see where you are coming from but what I saw in that video went beyond a mother who doesn't know how to properly care for her daughter's hair. This woman seemed to be purposefully ripping thru her daughter's hair knowing full well it was painful and uncomfortable for her child. It seemed obvious to me that mom uses brushing the child's hair as a some kind of punishment which looked like emotional torture to me. And on top of the hair brushing "punishment" mom took it a step further and humiliated the child by filming it and letting the person who was holding the camera laugh about it which tells me that mom finds it funny herself.

It was clear she wasn't trying to style the child's hair because of the way she was ruthlessly brushing it and not accomplishing anything. It was also clear that this was normal in that household. Getting on top of a child and almost sitting on the child's chest just to brush her hair is outrageous and going overboard. The mom went over the line and somebody should step in. Had that women put enough of her body weight on that little girl she could have killed her.

Seeing this video made me wonder what other abusive things does this woman do to those kids that hasn't made it to youtube yet.
 
It's still a tragedy that the children had to get taken away because of the mothers foolishness. I can't imagine it being a nice thing getting taken away from the only mom you've known even if getting abused. But this is that poor excuse for a mother's own fault. So sad. I can't bring myself to watch the vid, I just don't have the heart to, but I know from others' reactions it must've have been pretty cruel...I hope these children get some help and healing, and yes they do need prayer. As a matter of fact the mother of these kids need prayer too...tragic.
 
knt1229 said:
I see where you are coming from but what I saw in that video went beyond a mother who doesn't know how to properly care for her daughter's hair. This woman seemed to be purposefully ripping thru her daughter's hair knowing full well it was painful and uncomfortable for her child. It seemed obvious to me that mom uses brushing the child's hair as a some kind of punishment which looked like emotional torture to me. And on top of the hair brushing "punishment" mom took it a step further and humiliated the child by filming it and letting the person who was holding the camera laugh about it which tells me that mom finds it funny herself.

It was clear she wasn't trying to style the child's hair because of the way she was ruthlessly brushing it and not accomplishing anything. It was also clear that this was normal in that household. Getting on top of a child and almost sitting on the child's chest just to brush her hair is outrageous and going overboard. The mom went over the line and somebody should step in. Had that women put enough of her body weight on that little girl she could have killed her.

Seeing this video made me wonder what other abusive things does this woman do to those kids that hasn't made it to youtube yet.
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I totally feel where you're coming from and in the interest of full disclosure, I didn't watch the whole video from beginning to end. I saw only the beginning which was enough for me to know that the woman was a hot ghetto mess and I couldn't watch that precious little girl be so berated and tortured any longer:sad: I totally agree with you but then i could see the opposite side of things as well....I'm so conflicted about it:nono:
 
BlackMasterPiece said:
I totally feel where you're coming from and in the interest of full disclosure, I didn't watch the whole video from beginning to end. I saw only the beginning which was enough for me to know that the woman was a hot ghetto mess and I couldn't watch that precious little girl be so berated and tortured any longer:sad: I totally agree with you but then i could see the opposite side of things as well....I'm so conflicted about it:nono:
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I think if you'd seen the whole video you wouldn't be so conflicted.

She not only combed her hair roughly (understatement of the year), she sat on her, she cursed at her, and said the most vile things to her. It was clearly abuse.
 
kandake said:
I have mixed emotions about this whole thing.
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Me too, but the cop said she has been RECOGNIZED, which means she's probably done some foolishness before this.

I have a problem with foster care in general. For all we know those same kids will be put in a house that might decide to PERM the child's hair and not to take the time out to comb it properly.

Hopefully, she'll get them back soon after she learns better hair combing techniques.
 
jada1111 said:
Me too, but the cop said she has been RECOGNIZED, which means she's probably done some foolishness before this.

I have a problem with foster care in general. For all we know those same kids will be put in a house that might decide to PERM the child's hair and not to take the time out to comb it properly.

Hopefully, she'll get them back soon after she learns better hair combing techniques.
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I don't know about where they are, but here that's against the law. Foster parents are not allowed to make any permanent bodily changes to a foster child.
 
jada1111 said:
Me too, but the cop said she has been RECOGNIZED, which means she's probably done some foolishness before this.

I have a problem with foster care in general. For all we know those same kids will be put in a house that might decide to PERM the child's hair and not to take the time out to comb it properly.

Hopefully, she'll get them back soon after she learns better hair combing techniques.
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Putting a perm in a child's hair is not child abuse. I wouldn't do it, but it is not child abuse.
 
kandake said:
I have mixed emotions about this whole thing.
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I am too. There is such a thing as educating the parent and keeping that family together...even if they are dispersed for a short while. The goal is not to break up families...the goal is to educate and improve. We don't need more Black children in foster care...which, in itself, is not an answer to abuse and oftentimes, they face abuse in foster care.

What I'd like to address is the cultural aspect. We wanna pretend that Black folx don't "pop" their children. We wanna pretend that nappy hair days aren't trying. Crooklyn scene combing the brother's hair. :nono: What do we want, for the government to ban hair-pressing?

I'm mixed in my emotions as well. I think she was a pissed-off mother who scarcastically declared she'd pop her over prolonging the hair-pressing. So what about perms? Slight burning, a child is taken away? Flat-ironing and the little ear gets a little nip...CPS? I dunno.....but I do think she was an angry person at the time.

Edit: the vid I saw was short. I hadn't seen the whole thing....and don't plan on it.
 
I think it was more than just the video that caused the CPS action. They thought both the girl AND the brother were in danger

Lys
 
SmartyPants said:
Putting a perm in a child's hair is not child abuse. I wouldn't do it, but it is not child abuse.
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I don't think that's what she was saying. I think her point was she could be put in foster care and someone could still treat her hair wrong.

GV-NA-GI-TLV-GE-I said:
What I'd like to address is the cultural aspect. We wanna pretend that Black folx don't "pop" their children. We wanna pretend that nappy hair days aren't trying. Crooklyn scene combing the brother's hair. :nono: What do we want, for the government to ban hair-pressing?

I'm mixed in my emotions as well. I think she was a pissed-off mother who scarcastically declared she'd pop her over prolonging the hair-pressing. So what about perms? Slight burning, a child is taken away? Flat-ironing and the little ear gets a little nip...CPS? I dunno.....but I do think she was an angry person at the time.
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Are you sure you saw the video we're talking about? This was more than just a pop. And there was no hair pressing in this video.

There was clear abuse in the video. Parents should not sit on their children. Parents should not curse at their children or call them names.
 
msa said:
I don't think that's what she was saying. I think her point was she could be put in foster care and someone could still treat her hair wrong.



Are you sure you saw the video we're talking about? This was more than just a pop. And there was no hair pressing in this video.

There was clear abuse in the video. Parents should not sit on their children. Parents should not curse at their children or call them names.
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I thought this was about the lady pressing the little girl's hair! Another one????? No thanks...I don't want to see it... :nono: This lady didn't hit the little girl...but she was crying and fussing (12 years old or so) about getting her hair pressed. OMG!
 
BlackMasterPiece said:
I totally feel where you're coming from and in the interest of full disclosure, I didn't watch the whole video from beginning to end. I saw only the beginning which was enough for me to know that the woman was a hot ghetto mess and I couldn't watch that precious little girl be so berated and tortured any longer:sad: I totally agree with you but then i could see the opposite side of things as well....I'm so conflicted about it:nono:
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I saw the video in its entirety and I am still conflicted. I feel that the mother has issues, to put it bluntly. The video was very disturbing. But I don't feel that what I saw in the video was sufficient to remove the kids from the home permanently. Temporarily, sure ... but not permanently. I am just hoping it is a temporary removal while the mom gets herself together. I feel that she deserves a chance to redeem herself by learning better haircare techniques, taking an anger management course, etc. Foster care isn't the end all be all answer in this case ... IMO.

Valid points lead me to wonder whether there is more going on beyond the video. Whether her issues are deep-rooted that they are beyond fixing. Whether those children are undergoing hurtful beatings, etc. In such a case, the children are better off staying in foster care or being with family members where they DO have a chance (small or big) to be loved the right way.

I don't know. I don't know the woman and I don't know what the investigation revealed. However, I think it is too quick to say the children are better off being adopted by another family, etc. My wish is for the mother to get herself together so that she can care for her children without the anger seen in the video.

ETA: I am happy for the light shed on this situation, but I'm sad for the uncertainty of what will happen with the children and their emotional wellbeing.
 
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GV-NA-GI-TLV-GE-I said:
I thought this was about the lady pressing the little girl's hair! Another one????? No thanks...I don't want to see it... :nono: This lady didn't hit the little girl...but she was crying and fussing (12 years old or so) about getting her hair pressed. OMG!
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I saw that one too... and actually she did hit the kid and according to the video the girl was 10.

The video this thread is about had a mother abusing a child who appeared to be 4 or 5.
 
msa said:
Yeah it was a completely different video before this one. And it was BAD.
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That's why I was so conflicted...I know people were talking about turning in that other mother too over a hairpressing. Have they taken this thing down yet???? Let CPS handle it....we don't need to witness this crap...this sounds as bad as child porno...why is it still up on Youtube? I gotta exit this thread...too sad.
 
I am a foster mother and I will say that although I could not watch the video any time a parent makes a video and is "proud" of how rough they are treating their child, we err on the side of the Child.

I really don't appreciate people who are downing the foster care system. We are there to love and take care of children that are not our and to treat them with the best care possible. As foster parents we are looked at closer than the biological parents and our children are also screened. Many children leave us and go back into a less than ideal situation but the foster parent my not ever get a thank you from the parent.

Hopefully this mother and those around her will see that you can not abuse your child and get away with it. PERIOD. A child does not deserve to be treated like scum no matter what. I think of it as a blessing that the child was taken from the home and I hope the mother gets help.
 
msa said:
I was really happy when I found out about this (there was a thread in OT). Hopefully those kids can be placed in a better environment until the mom gets it together.

Other folks on YouTube need to pay attention and stop posting foolishness before the same thing happens to them.
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I totally agree with your statement, but I'm actually happy they posted the video up. Now the world can see who she really is and those kids don't have to go another night being emotionally and physically abused behind close doors. They are finally free.

I have a son and can't even dream of hurting him like she did to her own blood. It saddens me. :nono:
 
I'm not conflicted. Not in the least. I agree with everyone else who says that this is NOT the first incident this woman has been involved in. First, they took away the daughter AND the son. I don't recall any abuse of the son on that video (I haven't watched in a while--once was enough). If they took 2 kids away, they had to have cause to believe they both were in danger. Second, they recognized this woman by sight, in Detroit, which is not a small area! That indicates to me that she was known to the police, possibly frequently. Third, she had one child tape the abuse and humiliation of another child. What parent has one child watch her abuse another one? No, I think she deserved to have the children temporarily removed from her. She needs to take some serious parenting classes without her children being present, before she's allowed to have them back again.
 
i hope they teach the mom how to do hair and speak nicely and then give her HER children back...
Of course I hope CPS follows up to ensure their safety, but I don't wish any parent getting their child taken from them.
:ohwell:

also... i saw the video... she was ridiculous. I just hope she can change... she did make that child :ohwell:
 
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Dee-Licious said:
sorry, but those kids will far WAY WORSE being in foster care than from the harsh hair combing


you see how backed up their system is that it took 3 weeks for them to get involved
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I do not agree with this. The combing is all that we seen. Usually one form of abuse leads to another. I have a friend that's a social worker here in STL Mo and each case is different. I have known children in foster care who are in very caring and loving homes. Yes that are some bad foster parents out there, but unfortunately there are also some bad parents. Obviously these children were in a bad situation right now where some correction is needed and their mother may or may not get them back. And if she does, hopefully she has learned her lesson and she knows that there ARE people out there that care that are watching.

* Our children do not belong to us they are children of our GOD just as we are. It not only hurts them but it also hurts us if we do not treat them with love and respect*
 
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I dont want to say much, but I will say that this situation was taking to far... Yes it apears that the child was in alot of pain but having a daughter and having done a lot of little girls hair, alot of time kids can over-react! getting a spaking hurts! you run around screaming and crying trying to get away.. but not always is it abuse..

I dont feel her children should be taken away from her but that she gets HELP!!!

However, I was not there and did not feel the pain that this little girl may have been going through....
 
Ronnieaj said:
I'm not conflicted. Not in the least. I agree with everyone else who says that this is NOT the first incident this woman has been involved in. First, they took away the daughter AND the son. I don't recall any abuse of the son on that video (I haven't watched in a while--once was enough). If they took 2 kids away, they had to have cause to believe they both were in danger. Second, they recognized this woman by sight, in Detroit, which is not a small area! That indicates to me that she was known to the police, possibly frequently. Third, she had one child tape the abuse and humiliation of another child. What parent has one child watch her abuse another one? No, I think she deserved to have the children temporarily removed from her. She needs to take some serious parenting classes without her children being present, before she's allowed to have them back again.
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These are good points.
 
msa said:
Are you sure you saw the video we're talking about? This was more than just a pop. And there was no hair pressing in this video.

There was clear abuse in the video. Parents should not sit on their children. Parents should not curse at their children or call them names.
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Hol up....this isnt about the video where the girl is crying while getting her hair pressed posted by dreaboo? cuz that's what I thought this was about:ohwell:
 
teysmith said:
I dont want to say much, but I will say that this situation was taking to far... Yes it apears that the child was in alot of pain but having a daughter and having done a lot of little girls hair, alot of time kids can over-react! getting a spaking hurts! you run around screaming and crying trying to get away.. but not always is it abuse..

I dont feel her children should be taken away from her but that she gets HELP!!!

However, I was not there and did not feel the pain that this little girl may have been going through....
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I see where you are coming from, which is part of the reason I'm conflicted. On the one hand, I did not witness the mother hit her child. I didn't witness any bruising, punching, kicking, etc. But on the other hand, she was brushing her child's hair forcefully & painfully, she was cursing, etc. I didn't witness her sitting on her child (as some of have said), but I witnessed her restraining her child between her legs/against the floor so as to keep the child still ... so I see how it could look like she was sitting on her. I do believe the child's scalp was in whole lot of pain ... and there may/may not be emotional pain attached to that as well.

The mother could've definitely handled the situation less forcefully and less painfully. Maybe, if she took the time to research, she could've stumbled on forums like this to learn how to painlessly detangle and style her daughter's hair. My thing is does she deserve to have her children taken away from her for good? Is there more to what CPS found out in their investigation? Is what was on video "abuse" in the traditional sense or just bad parenting that needs to be fixed? I don't know.
 
One thing I don't think people get:

SOME people are evil. They WANT to hurt others. Including their own children.

Counseling is not going to help a person like that.

Think about what kind of people do this. They aren't normal or rational.

A normal person wouldn't do such things to ANY child... let alone their own child. I don't care how dumb a person is, you know that you are inflicting pain on someone out of spite.

And I'm not just talking about rough hair combing. I'm talking about all the rest of the stuff that happened in that video.

If someone came and brushed your child's hair like that, what would you do?

There is no excuse for treating another human being like that, especially your own flesh and blood, your own baby!

Some parents are bad people and can't be helped. Many children need help and need to get away from these MONSTERS.

No one here knows the whole story. If there was other abuse or neglect. If the "mother" is just ignorant or she is just a completely disgusting person... like I said, I hope for the best. Maybe counseling can help.

I will never get how anyone could think that it's better for a child to just suffer though.

If YOU were in a situation where horrible things happened to you all the time and you were UNABLE to defend yourself, would you want to stay or would you want to get help?

Why don't children deserve the same consideration?
 
Neith said:
One thing I don't think people get:

SOME people are evil. They WANT to hurt others. Including their own children.

Counseling is not going to help a person like that.

Think about what kind of people do this. They aren't normal or rational.

A normal person wouldn't do such things to ANY child... let alone their own child. I don't care how dumb a person is, you know that you are inflicting pain on someone out of spite.

And I'm not just talking about rough hair combing. I'm talking about all the rest of the stuff that happened in that video.

If someone came and brushed your child's hair like that, what would you do?

There is no excuse for treating another human being like that, especially your own flesh and blood, your own baby!

Some parents are bad people and can't be helped. Many children need help and need to get away from these MONSTERS.

No one here knows the whole story. If there was other abuse or neglect. If the "mother" is just ignorant or she is just a completely disgusting person... like I said, I hope for the best. Maybe counseling can help.

I will never get how anyone could think that it's better for a child to just suffer though.

If YOU were in a situation where horrible things happened to you all the time and you were UNABLE to defend yourself, would you want to stay or would you want to get help?

Why don't children deserve the same consideration?
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My goodness... you make a good case here.

I did not watch the video, and I had thought it was just rough combing, similar to what we have seen in movies. I thought it was excessive to take the child away.

But upon learning more of the abuse that took place in the video I feel relieved that the children are, at least temporarily, safer.

I think most foster parents are closer to indifferent than to abusive. After all, this is a child they just met, not a child born to them. But indifference trumps familiar violence any day.
 
BlackMasterPiece said:
Hol up....this isnt about the video where the girl is crying while getting her hair pressed posted by dreaboo? cuz that's what I thought this was about:ohwell:
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Nope, different video.

loolalooh said:
I see where you are coming from, which is part of the reason I'm conflicted. On the one hand, I did not witness the mother hit her child. I didn't witness any bruising, punching, kicking, etc. But on the other hand, she was brushing her child's hair forcefully & painfully, she was cursing, etc. I didn't witness her sitting on her child (as some of have said), but I witnessed her restraining her child between her legs/against the floor so as to keep the child still ... so I see how it could look like she was sitting on her. I do believe the child's scalp was in whole lot of pain ... and there may/may not be emotional pain attached to that as well.

The mother could've definitely handled the situation less forcefully and less painfully. Maybe, if she took the time to research, she could've stumbled on forums like this to learn how to painlessly detangle and style her daughter's hair. My thing is does she deserve to have her children taken away from her for good? Is there more to what CPS found out in their investigation? Is what was on video "abuse" in the traditional sense or just bad parenting that needs to be fixed? I don't know.
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No, the woman put the girl on the floor and got on top of her. Literally. While she was on top of her, she ripped through her hair with a brush (in all different directions, not even properly detangling)

She also got another child to restrain the girl on the floor. All while the girl was screaming and crying so hard she got RED in the face (which they laughed at)

Maybe you just don't remember those parts, but they were pretty brutal.

Physically painful, but emotionally/mentally painful on top of it. To scream at a small child about how she doesn't "have no fu***# daddy". To have other people in the room taunting, making fun of and hitting the girl.

I'm not overrareacting. I've had MANY a rough combout with little plastic combs. I've gotten pops in my head too.

but that behavior in the vid was no where near being normal. The cursing, screaming, pulling by the hair, teasing, hitting, rolling around on the floor like animals... I mean seriously... how in the hell is anyone able to defend that?
 
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