Real Talk: Hair Confessions

[summertimewine]

Mz.MoMo5235 Tbh it seems like everyone is down to educate about the 4A-Z hair but everyone else kinda falls off. If you have 3a-c hair good luck getting sound advice. Thankfully this community really tries and help its members rather than just try and banish anyone not 4a-z. On one website I asked a question and half the answers were "your hair will grow on its own 3B hair doesn't break off.' Seriously. All I needed was a protein treatment thankfully I found this forum and all of that nonsense is kind of scarce.

But you're right! I cannot sit down with people and tell them about my hair and how I still struggle. I just gotta take names and whoop ***

Lilmama1011 I'm glad you were nice to her at least! I think it is a surprise when black women have type 3 hair. It kinda throws people off so they want to start making excuses. Like Oh she's mixed, or its a wig, or thats a roller set etc. But I think once you realize we all trying to use the same products and we are all trying to get healthier hair then it seems less of a she has "good hair" thing. I think Momo was right in saying we experience a lot, if not all of the same problems 4a-z's face

MileHighDiva I love Sun Kissed Alba! Her videos are very straight forward and she is to pretty!

 

[BostonMaria]

I always think when people put food in their hair that they should just eat it. Its almost disrespectful in my mind to go to the supermarket and buy avocados and what not. Unless its going to compost or free, just eat it.

Ahaha I usually eat half the avocado then use the other half for my hair. I also use mayo, eggs, coconut milk, EVOO, etc...

Sent from my iPhone using LHCF

 

[Napp]

I feel like because my hair is short my advice is not as considered as someone with longer hair even if they have been misinformed about the topic.

 

[MileHighDiva]

Napp, that is not true! I feel your the most knowledgeable person on this board when it comes to BKT's and roller setting. I remember when you broke it down, regarding smoke points not having anything to do with oils preventing heat damage. If someone doesn't respect your voice they're cray-cray!

 

[ronie]

I feel like because my hair is short my advice is not as considered as someone with longer hair even if they have been misinformed about the topic.

I have to agree with MileHighDiva I always love reading your posts: to the point and very informative. Then again my hair is shorter than yours, lol. Just kidding, but yeah I see where you're coming from, but if only one person can benefit from what you have to say, Preach on sista. I for one will listen.

 

[Napp]

Napp, that is not true! I feel your the most knowledgeable person on this board when it comes to BKT's and roller setting. I remember when you broke it down, regarding smoke points not having anything to do with oils preventing heat damage. If someone doesn't respect your voice they're cray-cray!

I have to agree with MileHighDiva I always love reading your posts: to the point and very informative. Then again my hair is shorter than yours, lol. Just kidding, but yeah I see where you're coming from, but if only one person can benefit from what you have to say, Preach on sista. I for one will listen.

Thanks! I feel better now!

 

[Gryphyn]

I found this thread so entertaining I read the whole thing

I'm kind of ashamed of how long I've been a member here, considering my hair length. I've considered starting a new account a few times just so people won't judge (if anyone even does ).

I used to think my natural hair would grow long regardless, just because it was natural. It was only after being stuck at the same length for years that I finally started trying stuff other lhcf ladies were doing

One of the reasons I gave up on my natural hair is because I would get pains in my knuckles when I tried to detangle it. When I finally got a texturizer I felt like a sell-out but I also felt bloody liberated.

My SO is mixed with Indian and had WL hair when I met him (he had cornrows). His hair is so thick that I think it feels like pubic hair and I just pray that if we have a daughter in future she has a mix of both of our hair types so it's a bit softer, but still grows long easily, and I don't have to break my fingers off to do her hair. I feel absolutely terrible for saying that, but it's the confession thread, right?

I loathe the day my stylist texlaxed my hair. He should have been more clear on exactly what he was doing. I'm also mad at myself for now paying more attention.

I won't ever stop going to a salon to get my hair done because I feel like Jessica Rabbit when I leave

I feel embarrassed giving people hair advice. I can speak so expertly on it because I'm on here a lot, but I have almost nothing to show for my knowledge. Meanwhile my sister who doesn't take care of her hair AT ALL has always had longer hair than me (we have different hair types).

I wish my mom had taken the time to learn how to care for my hair when I was little. Instead she says it was too curly and didn't know what to do with it. I was always the kid at school with short braids that were coming undone by lunchtime and when she eventually started relaxing it the relaxer chewed up my hair b/c my hair can't tolerate being relaxed too straight. The girls in my class that year used to make fun on me and call me Elmer Fud

I want long hair to prove everyone wrong. Once I get to MBL and prove my point I'll probably just cut it back to APL so it's easier to manage daily.

 

[majinbuu252]

I keep falling off with my regimen then wonder why my hair is acting up.

 

[LdyKamz]

I feel like I can take one look at anyone else's hair and know what they need. But when it comes to my own I have questions galore on what I need to do for it. I can't seem to figure it out, especially now that I'm natural.

I don't get it. When I touch my hair I have to wonder, is it supposed to feel like that? Is this good or bad? When I touch someone else's hair I know if they need to dc more often, or if they need to add more protein to their regimen. When it comes to me I always second guess.

 

[whiteoleander91]

Wrong thread lol

 

[Mz.MoMo5235]

I feel like because my hair is short my advice is not as considered as someone with longer hair even if they have been misinformed about the topic.

I feel you 100% on that!!! TRUST

 

[Aireen]

When people touch my hair, I always worry that it isn't soft enough.

I know two of the black friends I have are/were jealous of my hair. One of them I see regularly always has to look or comment about it which is both a good and bad thing. A month ago I relaxed my hair and met up with a friend a day or two later, first thing she says when she sees me in a particularly rude tone is "Your hair looks very flat today." Later on in the day when I put my hair up she says, "This is the first time I've seen your hair up!" so I continue by adding that I was thinking of doing it but didn't bother. Her reply then is, "You should have." Honestly I know this is mean but I couldn't help but think "My hair is going to look flat for a few days until I wash it but your hair seems like it's in a permanently damaged state." Sorry, but I'm tired of people with damaged hair saying the most.

I can't stand seeing relaxed/texlaxed girls on Youtube do their length checks by pulling, tugging, and stretching their hair all the way down to say their hair reaches a certain point. Okay maybe there's some shrinkage due to having new growth or the hair not being completely straight but your hair isn't naturally going to fall all the way to the point you're stretching your hair up to anyway. I honestly find all the extra pulling looks so silly.

 

[Healthb4Length]

I feel that there's a unnecessary divide between type 4 and 3 naturals. I feel that a lot of type 4s do give type 3s a hard time and don't take their hair struggles into consideration. I've been seeing it lately on lots if hair boards and I'm baffled.

Type 3s there are a lot of blogs and hair boards that address your needs. Naturallycurly.com comes to mind, also curlynikki.com and there are a whole bunch of products specifically marketed for type 3s. Us 4s are just getting our due in the past 2-4 years or so.

As a type 4b/c natural I find my hair easy to handle. I don't have unrealistic expectations and I know what works for me.

Wash & Goes? GTFOH! What's the big deal about doing a wash & go anyways?

Spending/wasting hours defining curl pattern? Again, why? Your hair wasn't meant to do that so stop throwing shade at others who do have a defined pattern and KIM!

Here's my advice, KISS when it comes to your hair. Do what works for you, there are plenty of type 4 naturals who give solid advice but when starting a new hair journey you will have experiment with products and techniques until you find what works for you! Yes you might have to go through the ugly to get to the pretty st times! It gets easier if you go with the flow of your hair rather than against it. Trust me!

Oh another thing! Whenever a long haired type 4 natural gives advice stop questioning her hair type! Its a total contradiction, chicks praise it to the mountaintop how Black women can grow any length hair we want but as soon as someone proves that myth right, her texture (I noticed this with type 4s) is questioned. Oh she can't really be type 4! She must be a 3c etc! Like WTF??

Ok rant over, I just had to let that out b/c I've been noticing a trend lately.

 

[MileHighDiva]

SmilingElephant, you should probably follow Lucia on the board. She frequently posts hair inspiration videos. Anyway, here's another YouTuber you can follow based on today's inspiration post. http://www.youtube.com/user/1ballerina

 

[LivingInPeace]

When people touch my hair, I always worry that it isn't soft enough.

I know two of the black friends I have are/were jealous of my hair. One of them I see regularly always has to look or comment about it which is both a good and bad thing. A month ago I relaxed my hair and met up with a friend a day or two later, first thing she says when she sees me in a particularly rude tone is "Your hair looks very flat today." Later on in the day when I put my hair up she says, "This is the first time I've seen your hair up!" so I continue by adding that I was thinking of doing it but didn't bother. Her reply then is, "You should have." Honestly I know this is mean but I couldn't help but think "My hair is going to look flat for a few days until I wash it but your hair seems like it's in a permanently damaged state." Sorry, but I'm tired of people with damaged hair saying the most.


How do you consider this person to be a friend?

 

[melahnee]

i took out my own weave yesterday..i cut a lock of my own hair out you can't really tell but i'm soo over weaves right now even though it was not the weave's fault lol

 

[SmilingElephant]

Confession:

Since I've gone natural...for the first time i feel like im beautiful/pretty. I love my hair. I love how fast it grows...and even with shrinkage it now rests on my back. Even tho im annoyed with how its hard to find others with my hair...i really do love my hair.

I wasn't the "pretty" girl growing up. I had some deep self esteem issues. Still have some to work on...but being natural has been a big step toward me learning to love myself.

 

[darlingdiva]

When people touch my hair, I always worry that it isn't soft enough.

I know two of the black friends I have are/were jealous of my hair. One of them I see regularly always has to look or comment about it which is both a good and bad thing. A month ago I relaxed my hair and met up with a friend a day or two later, first thing she says when she sees me in a particularly rude tone is "Your hair looks very flat today." Later on in the day when I put my hair up she says, "This is the first time I've seen your hair up!" so I continue by adding that I was thinking of doing it but didn't bother. Her reply then is, "You should have." Honestly I know this is mean but I couldn't help but think "My hair is going to look flat for a few days until I wash it but your hair seems like it's in a permanently damaged state." Sorry, but I'm tired of people with damaged hair saying the most.

I can't stand seeing relaxed/texlaxed girls on Youtube do their length checks by pulling, tugging, and stretching their hair all the way down to say their hair reaches a certain point. Okay maybe there's some shrinkage due to having new growth or the hair not being completely straight but your hair isn't naturally going to fall all the way to the point you're stretching your hair up to anyway. I honestly find all the extra pulling looks so silly.

You should tell her what you're thinking because she's being extremely rude and nasty.

Oh, and change "are/were jealous" to "are jealous." With comments like that, they're definitely jealous--and/or nasty beyond belief.

 

[Blessed&higlyflavoured]

I find myself getting jealous of little girls hair. Its beautiful and thick. If i didn't look like a five year old, I would do all the little girl hairstyles. Bobbles, too many hair clips, the works. Reminds me of my yoof.

Nostalgia aside. Some products that worked for me as a child are a no-go as an adult. They stink of the nineties. looking at you s-curl

 

[naija24]

here's a hair confession: i'm afraid if i ever wear weaves, people will think i'm ghetto.

 

[oneastrocurlie]

I think some of the growth photos I see on instagram are fake. But it's probably me jealous because my hair grows sooooo slow. At least to me it does.

 

[brownb83]

I love taking my hair down at the gym after working out.

Because I want people to know my hair is real

 

[SmilingElephant]

I feel that there's a unnecessary divide between type 4 and 3 naturals. I feel that a lot of type 4s do give type 3s a hard time and don't take their hair struggles into consideration. I've been seeing it lately on lots if hair boards and I'm baffled.

Type 3s there are a lot of blogs and hair boards that address your needs. Naturallycurly.com comes to mind, also curlynikki.com and there are a whole bunch of products specifically marketed for type 3s. Us 4s are just getting our due in the past 2-4 years or so.

As a type 4b/c natural I find my hair easy to handle. I don't have unrealistic expectations and I know what works for me.

Wash & Goes? GTFOH! What's the big deal about doing a wash & go anyways?

Spending/wasting hours defining curl pattern? Again, why? Your hair wasn't meant to do that so stop throwing shade at others who do have a defined pattern and KIM!

Here's my advice, KISS when it comes to your hair. Do what works for you, there are plenty of type 4 naturals who give solid advice but when starting a new hair journey you will have experiment with products and techniques until you find what works for you! Yes you might have to go through the ugly to get to the pretty st times! It gets easier if you go with the flow of your hair rather than against it. Trust me!

Oh another thing! Whenever a long haired type 4 natural gives advice stop questioning her hair type! Its a total contradiction, chicks praise it to the mountaintop how Black women can grow any length hair we want but as soon as someone proves that myth right, her texture (I noticed this with type 4s) is questioned. Oh she can't really be type 4! She must be a 3c etc! Like WTF??

Ok rant over, I just had to let that out b/c I've been noticing a trend lately.

This whole post all day! Personally i have seen more videos with ppl that have really long type 4 hair than i do type 3. And it irks me when im looking for a video with my hair type and they say they're type 3 when they're really a type 4 there's styles that type 4s can do that my hair just cannot do. My hair is not as versatile as a type 4....so besides numerous wash n go videos...idk how else to really style my hair

Btw MileHighDiva i LOVE 1Ballerina! Another one i like is HeyFranHey and SummerKellesy and JadoreMyCurls who's as close as I've seen with my hair!

 

[growbaby]

I hate wearing my hair straightened bcuz I'm not satisfied with my length.

I've never NOT had a few broken hairs on my hands after moisturizing and sealing

My crown area roots dread up something fierce if I don't detangle weekly.

 

[MileHighDiva]

SmilingElephant, you can follow this YouTuber, she has a loose curl pattern. If I think of anyone else, I'll let you know. https://www.youtube.com/user/SunKissAlba and Shameless Maya

Please remember your hair is like a finger print, nobody's is the same. In addition, forget your IRL cast of characters, you have support here. HTH!

ETA: My fine hair idol Chicoro has type 3 hair. You can follow her on YT at https://www.youtube.com/user/MsChicoro Also, you can subscribe to her newsletter at http://www.beautifybitbybitgi.com/ In addition, I highly recommend her book Grow It. You may be able to check it out from your local library or request it through inter library loan (ILL) if they don't have it.

ETA2: You need to tell your friends that porosity, density, and how thick or thin each individual strand is more important than Andre Walker's hair typing system. It creates division in the hair community. Of course, you'll tell them this as you flip your curls that they hate on so much in their face

ETA3: http://www.youtube.com/user/srdesigns1

SmilingElephant, you should check these people out as well.

 

[EnExitStageLeft]

Some of my coworkers always comment on the length of my hair. One always ask how long it is because I never wear it down. Truth be told I sort of want to continue to do so until I'm WL, but I don't have that type of patience. Shawty like to swang' .

 

[SmilingElephant]

SmilingElephant, you should check these people out as well.

I love Shameless Maya...she cut all her hair off so i have to watch her old videos for style ideas. She was wearing this style where she pinned her hair to the side...for the life of me i cannot figure out how she did it! She used a lot of the same products as me. I was so excited that i found another youtuber with hair similar to mine ( im not trying to find an exact match...but something close...and irl i know no one)...but then she freakin shaves her head!!! lol! Y ppl gotta make freakin statements all the time!? SunkissAlba is another one...i like her finger curls...i wish i could find someone that knew how to do some intricate styles and updos like how the 4s do....im having an afro breakdown!

 

[Killahkurlz]

here's a hair confession: i'm afraid if i ever wear weaves, people will think i'm ghetto.

Lmbooooo. Im dead!!!

 

[wavezncurlz]

I wish my hair was thicker - it broke combs when I was younger. I wish it were less wavy.
. I have dd who is my hair twin. She leaves the house w shiny smooth hair and comes home looking hot mess. It is a brownish reddish color this summer and really looks dry even when it's not. Styles slip right out of her hair. We get split ends easily. It isn't really long though people expect it to be because of her texture.

Now dd2 has thick, jet black sheeny 4a hair. It is a bear to do but styles last for days. Her hair looks best after about a week. It seems so much stronger too. No splits. Long when stretched.

I always hear people on this board wishing for 3 hair. I want more texture, smaller curls, 4 hair. The grass is always greener....

 

[MileHighDiva]

wavezncurlz, I need step by step directions for that bun. Are those pin curls? The bun is so pretty!