Pissed!!!My DD grandma snuck a relaxer in her hair!!!!

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sylver2

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i am so upset.:mad: At my daughter, her grandmother and her father. She went to visit for the week and came back with a damn relaxer. this battle between us and her grandma has been goin on for years. she been wanting to slap a relaxer in her hair since she was 6 yrs old. I am pissed!!! her father is not even mad becuse he said well she is almost 17.. how long were u going to wait.?
That is not the point!! It was not her right to touch her hair. Our daughter knew what she was doin.. being sneaky about it not callin to say anything. I am Pissed!!!! :mad:not talkin to any of them. then we couldn't even say anything to the grandma cause she hurried her no hair having butt on her flight back home so we never saw her.
:mad:
PISSSSSSSSED!!!!!!!!!!!
 
sylver2 said:
i am so upset.:mad: At my daughter, her grandmother and her father. She went to visit for the week and came back with a damn relaxer. this battle between us and her grandma has been goin on for years. she been wanting to slap a relaxer in her hair since she was 6 yrs old. I am pissed!!! her father is not even mad becuse he said well she is almost 17.. how long were u going to wait.?
That is not the point!! It was not her right to touch her hair. Our daughter knew what she was doin.. being sneaky about it not callin to say anything. I am Pissed!!!! :mad:not talkin to any of them. then we couldn't even say anything to the grandma cause she hurried her no hair having butt on her flight back home so we never saw her.
:mad:
PISSSSSSSSED!!!!!!!!!!!
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Totally disrespectful!!! I don't blame you for being upset. My first thought was cut her hair off, just to show her. But of course we can't make irrational choices in a very emotional situation.

Maybe this happening will teach her a lesson. She will see the importance of listening to her mother. Relaxed hair takes a lot of care, moreso than natural, IMO.

Sorry about this. But kids sometimes learn lessons the hard way, even if its painful for us parents to watch.
 
Okay... you deserve a big hug :bighug:

Now, she is 16 and old enough to learn and she is fortunate enough that her mom knows so much about hair care! It doesn't have to be the end of the world (hairwise) for her...

If something goes wrong or she doesn't like it... that'll teach her.


We all have to learn and explore for ourselves! Yes, she was sneaky about it... but don't be mad at her for TOO long :)


As for the grandmother? That's not teenage rebellion. :nono: I would be more mad at her than anyone. I would NEVER put my hands in some child's head especially knowing her mother didn't approve.


​
 
Sorry to hear that. Yep, I'd be pissed too. Why is it the family members often feel entitled to overrule over decisions as parents? If I were you, I would not contribute AT ALL to the upkeep of that perm, and let your daughter deal with it. She'll find out soon enough how damaging a relaxer can be.
 
I'm so sorry!!! I never got why grandma's feel it's okay to put a relaxer in the head of someone else's child. Same thing happened to the daughter of my long time stylist. I thought I would have to bail her out of jail when she saw her 7 year old daughter's head. They are transitioning her back to natural now...for about a year so far. She was already BSL with her natural hair.

Your daughter is 16!!! I would have never guess you had a child that age!! You barely look beyond your 20's.
 
Even though your grandma is wrong your daughter is more wrong. If that was me my mom would have punished me for going behind her back when I knew better
 
Wow, I'd be upset too! I've had similar problems with my son's grandma doing something I specifically told her NOT TO DO! So I feel your pain. I didn't know you had a daughter and you look very good to have a 17 year old. Hugzs
 
Christelyn said:
Sorry to hear that. Yep, I'd be pissed too. Why is it the family members often feel entitled to overrule over decisions as parents? If I were you, I would not contribute AT ALL to the upkeep of that perm, and let your daughter deal with it. She'll find out soon enough how damaging a relaxer can be.
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Yeah, that what I was going to say. Why are so many family members doing this? And this isn't a kid, she's almost grown. Why do they care now anyway???:confused:

And as far as your daughtet goes...she will find out soon enough that her natural hair was better. I put a perm in my hair at 17 following someone else, and now I'm 30 still regretting it and trying to get it back right. But I have the board here to help me with that.:grin::yep:
Oh, and the girl I was trying to follow..her hair is worst off than mine and we both had about the same BSL or better...
 
Christelyn said:
Sorry to hear that. Yep, I'd be pissed too. Why is it the family members often feel entitled to overrule over decisions as parents? If I were you, I would not contribute AT ALL to the upkeep of that perm, and let your daughter deal with it. She'll find out soon enough how damaging a relaxer can be.
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this is what i yelled to her. i said u sneaky enough to do this w/o my permission..fine. do what u want with your damn hair, no help from me i hope it breaks off and fall out. i feel bad..but sooo PISSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
MrsHouston said:
Wow, I'd be upset too! I've had similar problems with my son's grandma doing something I specifically told her NOT TO DO! So I feel your pain. I didn't know you had a daughter and you look very good to have a 17 year old. Hugzs
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ITA :yep:

Seriously... I thought your were around MY age (23) :blush:

Wow! :up:
 
Grandma was as wrong as two left shoes. You have every right to be pissed, I know I would be. Thankfully you have the knowledge to share with your daughter on how to properly care for relaxed hair (IF you don't cut her hair off).
 
Wow :nono:

I remember your post a while back when you were debating on relaxing/texlaxing her hair because she wanted her hair to look like yours. I would be upset too.. I also don't get how people take it upon themselves to do these types of things without consulting with the mother (the person who will pretty much be putting up with everything)

I also agree that you don't look to have a daughter that age :gorgeous:
 
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cutiebe2 said:
Even though your grandma is wrong your daughter is more wrong. If that was me my mom would have punished me for going behind her back when I knew better
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exactly thats y im pisssssed!!!! i cant even look at her right now. she knows im :wallbash::mad:and staying away from me in her room
 
Well then your daughter is going to have to deal with the consequences of her actions. . . if she wants to be in charge of her hair then let her and when she comes to you crying for help because her hair is breaking off, let her know that she did it to herself.

And grandma won't be allowed any unsupervised visits. . . if the woman has any issues with that then simply inform her that she's lucky you don't sue her for applying caustic chemicals to a minors hair and scalp without parental permission. Plain and simple.
 
Wow im so sorry :nono:

First of all I don't beleive you have a 16 year old daugther.

And I'm sorry she didnt listen, but like some have said now she will learn a lesson, mothers are always right (exept from mine) and hopefully in the future she will learn to trust your decision.

:bighug:
 
A friend did this when her daughter had her eyebrows waxed without permission. I think she was 14 years old. My friend made her daughter shave off both her eyebrows as punishment.

wannabelong said:
Grandma was as wrong as two left shoes. You have every right to be pissed, I know I would be. Thankfully you have the knowledge to share with your daughter on how to properly care for relaxed hair (IF you don't cut her hair off).
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Starr1 said:
Well then your daughter is going to have to deal with the consequences of her actions. . . if she wants to be in charge of her hair then let her and when she comes to you crying for help because her hair is breaking off, let her know that she did it to herself.

And grandma won't be allowed any unsupervised visits. . . if the woman has any issues with that then simply inform her that she's lucky you don't sue her for applying caustic chemicals to a minors hair and scalp without parental permission. Plain and simple.
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yup ita to everything. i am so upset.!!
 
sylver2 said:
i am so upset.:mad: At my daughter, her grandmother and her father. She went to visit for the week and came back with a damn relaxer. this battle between us and her grandma has been goin on for years. she been wanting to slap a relaxer in her hair since she was 6 yrs old. I am pissed!!! her father is not even mad becuse he said well she is almost 17.. how long were u going to wait.?
That is not the point!! It was not her right to touch her hair. Our daughter knew what she was doin.. being sneaky about it not callin to say anything. I am Pissed!!!! :mad:not talkin to any of them. then we couldn't even say anything to the grandma cause she hurried her no hair having butt on her flight back home so we never saw her.
:mad:
PISSSSSSSSED!!!!!!!!!!!
Click to expand...


bwaaaaah :lachen:
 
She's too old for whuppins but...anyway I remember this happened to a friend of mine. Her daughter's stepmother permed her hair without her permission, the child was 12. Her mom nursed it back to health and transitioned it back to natural.
 
That's ridiculous. Your daughter knew exactly what she was doing. She couldn't get you to give in so she went to grandma. Probably figured what could you do once it's done.

I just hope her grandmother did everything correctly. It would suck to learn a lesson the hard way, ie: hair falling out and/or being severely damaged.
 
I am still pausing at the idea of you having a 17 yr old. OMG when I met you at the Miami trip I thought u were like 25. You look good girl!!!


BTW I'm sorry about your daughter sneaking and getting a perm behind your back
 
It sucks that the grandma did it behind your back- but she IS 17 and its her head so she'll have to figure how to care for it:ohwell:
 
As soon as she comes to you asking questions about caring for it, I would tell her to call and ask her grandma. If she has an allowance make her pay for her own products etc. Let her find out the hard way what being sneaky will get you. Darn that is messed up. Q
 
:blush: That was a bold move. Grandma, dad and your daughter being in cahoots was wrong on so many levels :nono:

{attempting to tap into my former teenage logic} I guess she figured you'd be pissed initially, but eventually you'd calm down and come around. I hope you decide to help her with her hair, it would be a shame to lose all these years of progress because she wanted to sneak behind your back.
 
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