Man and a woman living together.....

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Renewed1

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The scenario I have in mind is a practicing Christrian woman is going through some hard times and moves in with a male friend of hers?

Is this bibically wrong?



We all know a dating couple (man and woman) shouldn't live together unless they are married. I'm really referring to if the man and woman are just friends, never been anything more than that.
 
To me..not wrong should they be simply good friends with a truly platonic relationship..both have their own bedrooms and separate areas of the house. The perception of impropriety is the real problem for a Christian.
 
To me..not wrong should they be simply good friends with a truly platonic relationship..both have their own bedrooms and separate areas of the house. The perception of impropriety is the real problem for a Christian.

I agree with your statement. I've known Christian women to live with guys both parties had their own bedroom (but may have shared a bathroom, kitchen, etc); but they never had anything more than a platonic friendship with their male friends.

I always wondered why a platonic male/female friend living together was such a no-no in the Christrian world. I sorta understand the argument of tempetation.....but you still have a choice to accept the tempetation or not.
 
I wouldn't say it's Biblically wrong if they are really just friends..don't have a scripture for that. :laugh: But I agree with Brooklyn South all the way. Is her male friend also a practicing Christian? If not, it's an unequally yolked situation that's a recipe for disaster.
 
I guess I may be a bit judgemental on this and I can acknowledge that. BUT, out of all the people to be a roommate with, a person finds a person of the opposite sex? Why not same sex? I don't understand the "Oh, I don't get along with other women" line? If that is the case then you may have bigger problems with your christianity if you can't get along with a person of the same sex.

Just tossing that out there as food for thought to open up more discussion.
 
Being just friends doesn't justify it, when either of them are asked have you ever lived with a man or woman they can't honestly say no cause they did live with them, then their future husband or wife will always wonder if maybe something more didn't go on and they're lying about it. It jut opens the door to alot of distrust and doubt, if you're following those strict rules, that is not just Christianity but Muslims etc... then it's a really bad idea cause you are going against those beliefs you say you're honoring. :rolleyes:
Why do something that makes you look wrong or guilty even when you haven't done anything.
 
It's technically ok, However, Christians are to be "seen" as representatives of Christ . The living arrangements could be "seen" by a non-Christian as something it's not and that could potentially give someone the wrong impression about what being a Christian is.
 
I agree with your statement. I've known Christian women to live with guys both parties had their own bedroom (but may have shared a bathroom, kitchen, etc); but they never had anything more than a platonic friendship with their male friends.

I always wondered why a platonic male/female friend living together was such a no-no in the Christrian world. I sorta understand the argument of tempetation.....but you still have a choice to accept the tempetation or not.
Because of paranoia
 
It's technically ok, However, Christians are to be "seen" as representatives of Christ . The living arrangements could be "seen" by a non-Christian as something it's not and that could potentially give someone the wrong impression about what being a Christian is.

But couldn't this be a testimony to non-Christians that Christian men and women are able to see each other as more than sex objects?
 
I agree with your statement. I've known Christian women to live with guys both parties had their own bedroom (but may have shared a bathroom, kitchen, etc); but they never had anything more than a platonic friendship with their male friends.

I always wondered why a platonic male/female friend living together was such a no-no in the Christrian world. I sorta understand the argument of tempetation.....but you still have a choice to accept the tempetation or not.

IT's prob b/c you won't be able to truly defend yourself if the question of you being virtuous and true ever came up, their would always be doubt.


AfriPrincess411 said:
But couldn't this be a testimony to non-Christians that Christian men and women are able to see each other as more than sex objects?

It could be, but why should people have to go to those extremes to prove that Christianity works. Why put yourself in a high temptation situation. Besides it kind of mocks the principles of marriage, it doesn't matter that nothing's going on it already looks like improper esp for a Christian. Besides guys have guy friends who come over and may or may not respect the female roomate, people have to be careful what kind of situation they put themselves in then before they do things.
 
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Avoiding the situations that appear evil also helps keep us from actually falling into that evil.

Besides there is more involved in marriage than just sex and living with someone of the opposite sex brings intimacy that should be reserved for your spouse.
 
Yall remember when Ruth showed up at Boaz's spot? He told her to leave before the sun came up so that nobody would see that she spent the night with him. What people SEE us do is just as important as what we ACTUALLY do. For some, a man and a woman can live together and never be intimate--emotionally or physically. But for others (especially those in the world) it will not be perceived as such and perception is reality. It can weaken our testimony which would grieve the Holy Spirit. If it were me, I'd pray and have faith that I could find a female roommate (while actively looking of course).
 
Yes I think its not the right choice. I think we should be putting all of our faith and hope in the Father to provide for us. Sometimes its just our general missmanagement of money that puts us in binds. God says he is the Great I AM. Which means he is all things to those who love and put their faith and trust in him and are willing to obey him in all things.

the Banker, The Lawyer, the husband, the doctor. He is the provider. He is Everything we could ever need. Faith, obeying his commandments leads us to many blessings and no need to fall into sin. because even if there is nothing going on and never will be nothing going on it doesn't look that way and we should not even give a hint of sin to our neighbors.
WE walk in the light and we walk by faith leaning on the promises of God.
 
I figured the "appearance of evil" scripture would surface... :look: ITA that the "appearance" may be a problem for some Christians, but I think the real problem would be what that arrangement would do to her Spiritual life, moreso than what it looks like to other people.

The appearance of evil, in Thessalonians that Paul is talking about has to do with manifested evil and not how something simply "looks" to someone else. Translations of the bible say to abstain from every "form of evil" that means to NOT engage in manifested evil. To avoid simply the "appearance" is a form of people bondage, IMHO. That's where the problem lies. Avoiding acts of evil is what this Scripture is talking about.

God's word is the standard by which we should live or lives. But it really doesn't matter what a Christian does, SOMEONE will always perceive something evil. Should a Christian live life trying to please people? No, I don't think they should.

In the eyes of those who hated him, Jesus always appeared to do evil deeds when in fact they just appeared that way to others who judged him.
 
BUT, out of all the people to be a roommate with, a person finds a person of the opposite sex? Why not same sex? I don't understand the "Oh, I don't get along with other women" line? If that is the case then you may have bigger problems with your christianity if you can't get along with a person of the same sex.

Just tossing that out there as food for thought to open up more discussion.


Well in the situations I know of, they literally had no where else to go; because they were out of state and/or the female friends were married.
 
Being just friends doesn't justify it, when either of them are asked have you ever lived with a man or woman they can't honestly say no cause they did live with them, then their future husband or wife will always wonder if maybe something more didn't go on and they're lying about it. It jut opens the door to alot of distrust and doubt, if you're following those strict rules, that is not just Christianity but Muslims etc... then it's a really bad idea cause you are going against those beliefs you say you're honoring. :rolleyes:
Why do something that makes you look wrong or guilty even when you haven't done anything.

Well in my mind, if the question pops up I will be truthful about it. Most Christian people are truthful about their life and the areas they struggled in prior to meeting their future mate.

But if the person I'm with still has doubt or trusts issues, then he is not the one for me.
 
I'm going to come back this. I'm just waking up from a nap and tomorrow, I'm going to take time out to read this when I'm fully awake, before I respond.

Blessings ... :Rose:
 
Changed,

I don't know the whole story....everyone's situation is different and we don't have enough details.. all we see is a man and woman living together. I guess positions would change if supposedly this woman was disabled and the male friend is the only real friend she has in a city where she knows no one. Or, she had a female roommate and that's who got her where she is now, because of a soured relationship or a fight. I could go on and on....

There's a big difference between living with a man and having a male roommate...

So, there can't be any "mockery of marriage" if they're not in a relationship.

We're in a world where everything can be easily perverted; these two platonic friends have already been put in bed together, and we don't even know what their circumstances are.


Well in the situations I know of, they literally had no where else to go; because they were out of state and/or the female friends were married.
 
hmm I think it more along the lines of 1 Corinthians 10:23
"Everything is permissible"—but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible"—but not everything is constructive.

It might not be a sin but I don't believe it is using wisdom.
 
hmm I think it more along the lines of 1 Corinthians 10:23
"Everything is permissible"—but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible"—but not everything is constructive.

It might not be a sin but I don't believe it is using wisdom.


Thanks for this scripture. Right on time for this thread AND some other things that have been in my head and on my heart lately. Thanks.
 
hmm I think it more along the lines of 1 Corinthians 10:23
"Everything is permissible"—but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible"—but not everything is constructive.

It might not be a sin but I don't believe it is using wisdom.

Thank you, and more verses speak this same way :

Rom. 14.13 Let us not therefore judge one another any more: but judge this rather, that no man put a stumblingblock or an occasion to fall in his brother's way.

14.16 Let not then your good be evil spoken of: 14.17 For the kingdom of God is not meat and drink; but righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost. 14.18 For he that in these things serveth Christ is acceptable to God, and approved of men. 14.19 Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace, and things wherewith one may edify another. 14.20 For meat destroy not the work of God. All things indeed are pure; but it is evil for that man who eateth with offence. 14.21 It is good neither to eat flesh, nor to drink wine, nor any thing whereby thy brother stumbleth, or is offended, or is made weak. 14.22 Hast thou faith? have it to thyself before God. Happy is he that condemneth not himself in that thing which he alloweth.

1Cor. 10.31 Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God. 10.32 Give none offence, neither to the Jews, nor to the Gentiles, nor to the church of God...
 
the sin comes in having relations/fornication - if a man & female can move in together without any attraction, lusting after each other or engaging in questionable pre-marital activity. This is the reason "shacking up" is considered a sin.

With the nature of men & women - it has been my experience that most female/male relationships end up in some type of attraction.

I would say, pray about it & hear from God. He won't guide you wrong, if there is questioning of the decision & no inner peace about it, it is probably a bad decision.
 
Two things break my heart about making this post.

One is because I wish with all of my heart, that I were sitting in a room with each of you so that you see the love from my heart and the respect that I cherish in each of you here. I couldn't mean this more. I see each of you as Jewels which reflect not only the love of God, but the holiness which this world we live in lacks in abundance.

Which brings me to share that my heart breaks when we as Christians reflect the world which is void of the presence and holiness of God.

As Christians we have a commanded responsibility to set the standard of living and not compromise, not even by a shadow.

How can we bear witness to Jesus Christ and yet lend ourselves to such carelessness. Again, I say this lovingly. Without wrath and without doubting of anyone's integrity here as a child of God.

There are absolutely and positively and nor will there ever be a Godly justification, for a man and woman to live together as roommates. NONE!

If anyone says it is so, it is lying on God. For God says clearly that "He leads into the paths of Righteousness for His Namesake.

His Namesake! His Integrity as God! His Sovereinty! His Holiness! His Blood Covenant with us.

There is absolutely no way that God would lead anyone, to set up house in a manner such as this. Instead He will make provision for each one of us to live holy. And there are indeed other options, even if it means living where you don't 'want' to live, but at least you will not be in sin.

And it is indeed a sin.

How can we doubt that God would provide for us to not live even in the very 'appearance' of sin.

Does anyone really and truly think for one moment, especially with a Covenant Relationship with God our Father, that He would deny an earnest prayer such as:

"Father God, place me where my life gives you glory and will not cast a shadow upon my witness as one of your own."

Father God, your word clearly says, that you lead me not into temptation; that you deliver me from 'all' evil, even the appearance of such.

Father your word commands to not let my good to be evil spoken of. I am a gazingstock where others look to me as a light unto your path. Let my light shine for others to follow your straight and narrow path. In Jesus' Name, I honour you and pray. Amen and Amen. "

---------------------

Sheep Wool:

* Sigh * :nono:

When do we stop playing games with God? When do we stop pretending that He hasn't given us the answers already about this and other similar situations. When do we stop 'lying' on God ?

When God says, to 'flee' youthful lusts. It's a given that He is also saying to not place ourselves in a position to yield to such.

No one can stand before God face to face and tell him that you will not be in a position of temptation. No one can stand before God face to face and say, Father, I had no other choice. No one can stand before God face to face and say, 'we're strictly platonic' with no intentions of taking it outside of that realm.

No one can stand before God face to face and say, Lord you gave me peace about this or His approval. It's lying. God has does not approve. It's lying to oneself to block the conviction that the Holy Spirit is grieved over this.

The truth about this is that is a 'human decision'; two people who have decided to do what they want to do and God's presence is not in it; neither His approval. The only thing that they have is God's grace, His undeserved, unmerited, favor and all because He loves you.

Don't justify the situation by saying, God knows my heart in this situation.

Yes, indeed, you better believe He does know your heart; God also knows your flesh; therefore He may know your heart in this situation, but it's not with His approval. We can't pull our 'sheep wool' over God's eyes. :nono:

Men Know Men:

Any Father, be he Christian or non Christian, would not want, neither allow this living arrangement for his daughter. She can be 16 or 60, but her father will never approve.

Men 'know' men. And being alone with a woman in a live-in situation is only 'asking' for temptation to have it's way. A man's thoughts will 'wander'. It is a proven fact that men think about sex quite often and quite readily.

Living with a woman, a man is going to be quite 'aware' of her presence and quite aware of her presence as a woman.

He is vunerable by the slightest thing to arouse him, sexually. He's automatically going to wonder what his female roommate sleeps in. When he hears the bath or shower, his mind is going to wonder what she looks like naked.

When he sees her laundry, he's going to think about where it touches her body. When she wears a bathrobe, he's going to wonder what's under.

He's a MAN! And there is no one there to be accountable to except his flesh next to hers. Those will be his thoughts.

It really does not take much to get a man sexually stimulated or aroused. Anything from the sight of a woman putting on lipstick to the smell of her perfume or soap or lotion, even her shampoo, can stimulate a man and bring sexual related thoughts in his mind.

Men Know Men -- so does God. If an earthly father would not allow such a living arrangement for his daughter, how much more does God.

God knows the weakness of men and women when it comes to sexual temptation. It's in our nature as a man and a woman to be sexually attracted to one another. Afterall, He created and designed us as 'sexual beings' so that we would be fruitful and multiply; to replenish the earth with life upon life.

Do not deceive yourselves and say that the two persons are strong committed Christians and are accountable to God.

Ummm yeah? Not so. :nono:

They've already displayed their weakness and weakened committment to the Lord and the actively weakened yield to the Holy Spirit by placing themselves in this highly volatile living arrangement.

As humans we can have the very best of intentions, but in reality, if it's in sin's pathway, it's sin and it's also premeditated, watered, nurtured and brought forth.

This is not one's perception of impropriety...

This is not, judgemental ...

This is not a game ...

If other religions are strict about this, how much more we as Christians should be leaders in such. We are a holy generation, separated from the world unto God.

For His Namesake, is this how we misrepresent Him? Most surely this is a misrepresentation of a Godly standard of living.

Perception of impropriety? :nono:

The is beyond 'perception'. The inpropriety has already taken place.

We are to shun the very appearance of evil.

When do we stop playing games with Salvation? Placing ourselves in situations of compromise that Jesus paid the price for with His Blood...

This entire post is directed towards the issue and shared in Peace and Blessings... :Rose:
 
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I agree.... great Scripture for this situation! :yep:


hmm I think it more along the lines of 1 Corinthians 10:23
"Everything is permissible"—but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible"—but not everything is constructive.

It might not be a sin but I don't believe it is using wisdom.
 
Being just friends doesn't justify it, when either of them are asked have you ever lived with a man or woman they can't honestly say no cause they did live with them, then their future husband or wife will always wonder if maybe something more didn't go on and they're lying about it. It jut opens the door to alot of distrust and doubt, if you're following those strict rules, that is not just Christianity but Muslims etc... then it's a really bad idea cause you are going against those beliefs you say you're honoring. :rolleyes:
Why do something that makes you look wrong or guilty even when you haven't done anything.


well at the end of the day, should we really worry about what other people think about our personal situations?

i mean, what if i live with a lesbian woman? i could omit their sexual orientation so that other people can be mentally ok with my situation...


secondly, i feel that if i am ready to be married, then my future husband will know me inside and out. they would not doubt me, nor worry about this situation.



these are just my thoughts. not trying to attack, just looking at all perspectives. i personally find myself going into situations ( or refraining from certain things) so that other people can be more comfortable. but at the end of the day, if i'm living for other people, i am making it harder to walk my own walk with God.
 
well at the end of the day, should we really worry about what other people think about our personal situations?

i mean, what if i live with a lesbian woman? i could omit their sexual orientation so that other people can be mentally ok with my situation...


secondly, i feel that if i am ready to be married, then my future husband will know me inside and out. they would not doubt me, nor worry about this situation.

these are just my thoughts. not trying to attack, just looking at all perspectives. i personally find myself going into situations ( or refraining from certain things) so that other people can be more comfortable. but at the end of the day, if i'm living for other people, i am making it harder to walk my own walk with God.

You are right, we can't please people, because God has commanded that we are to please Him and not man.

Therefore, at the end of the day, it matters what God thinks. It matters from the rising of the sun unto the end thereof.

Our 'human' perspectives are shallow and always filled with excuses, scenarios and self fulfilling justifications. No matter what people use as examples of alternates (i.e. if the women are gay), it still won't fly with God.

God never places us in compromising situations. Humans do that to themselves and then try to justify it or make comparisons in an attempt to minimize the issue at hand.

Which is why at the end of the day, it's what we do that pleases God.
 
Having had a male roommate before I'm going to say that God knew my heart in that situation...it was strictly a group of friends living together, separate rooms and all that. And I've known many Christian men and women who have lived together and had absolutely no issues.

Is it biblically wrong? Nope. If it is, someone please show me a scripture as I've yet to find any.
 
Having had a male roommate before I'm going to say that God knew my heart in that situation...it was strictly a group of friends living together, separate rooms and all that. And I've known many Christian men and women who have lived together and had absolutely no issues.

Is it biblically wrong? Nope. If it is, someone please show me a scripture as I've yet to find any.
Why don't you instead provide a scripture that justifies it? Just because you lived this way doesn't justify it or make it right. It only shows a lax attitude in Christian values.

Those who have a true relationship with God would never consider placing themselves in a position to have their witness compromised.

Too many people are trying to re-do the image of God to fit what they choose to do or be in life.

If this is how folks choose to live than so be it. Just leave God out of it. It is a human decision and a living situation created by humans.

The worn out expression "God knows my heart' is not scripture, it's a cop out from accountabliity. It's time to get real and stop playing games with the sovereinty of God. We either honour Him or we don't. If there's something you want to do in life, then just do it. But don't try and put a fake cover over it, and say God is in it. He's not. He's quite clear on what He expects from us as His children. It's up to us to live up to it.
 
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I personally do not believe that God is pleased with these arrangements.

I have a friend that is actually living with his male best friend and another female
that moved in with them to help keep cost down being college students and all.
At first, my friend and the female didn't get along and couldn't stand each other
and within a years time ended up liking each other and now are a couple. Their
parents didn't approve but they are still living together despite the fact. They are
Christians however they feel that this is once again helping them save money.
That kind of reminds me of people trying to justify why they do what they do.

Anyways, just like if I was as a married woman I wouldn't feel comfortable having a woman
(single or not) being a "roommate" in my home. Even if she is Christian. Yes, I know
my God knows my husbands heart and the heart of this woman... but flesh is
flesh and I wouldn't trust or allow that situation to be.
 
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