ITA with the bolded and that's what i was going to say.
1. I can do my hair occasionally if I choose to. Now, that's twice a month for about 3-3.5 hours each session (washing, detangling, styling, etc.). I'm mostly 4b w/ 4a sections here and there and MBL. I often wonder what folks who take 8 hours each hair session are doing to their hair (like a certain youtuber who shall not be named). Doing that weekly that's 24 hours a month on my hair
Naw son, I'd keep my hair in a twa if that were the case.
2. Ironically those with straight hair marvel at the versatility and relative low maintenance of my hair. Not really looking for
their approval b/c I know my hair is dope but yeah it's not as easy for them as I once thought. Daily washing...I can't imagine. I'm lazy as heck and 2 blocks of hair time a month is just fine with me.
3. About protective styling: i think this is the issue with some naturals. You don't have to do it but IMO b/c if I want to grow my hair out to waist length it's a necessity.
Sera2544 has been using heat lately and I asked her if she did that earlier in her hair journey if she thinks would have reached her goal. She said no. Same thing with LHDC2011. These folks protective styled and used heat infrequently earlier on. Once they had long hair they incorporated heat methods. I see folks who are SL or shorter using the heat method but may not realize this and may be disappointed when they don't have LHDC2011 hair in 2 years but have retained much slower than they expected.
Basically, if you have a goal, baby your hair, get there and then feel free to 'enjoy' your hair more if wearing it out means enjoyment to you. To me 2-4 years isn't that long to protective style. Plus, like
mwedzi said the once a month braid out/twist out is enough for me not to feel board when i want a change.
"As opposed to women of almost any other race where they can wash their hair and airdry it and not experience breakage or wash it and put it in a ponytail without needing a bunch of gels, moisturizers, etc."
One thing that strikes me about this thread is how distorted our attitudes are about our hair. We think of others as having an easier road but I'm not convinced that is true. For instance, they have to wash their every day or else face stinking, oily hair. I don't have to do that. In fact, I could wash my hair once a month and not have that problem. So, who has it harder? Me because I spend two hours on wash day? Or them because they spend twenty minutes a day, adding up to roughly the same time? For some reason, we have all elevated wash n' go hair to the height of luxury but why? If I braid my hair, I don't have to do a d*mn thing to it for almost three months--why isn't THAT the height of luxury?
Basically, I don't understand why we have collectively as a group accepted the fallacy that our hair is "hard" and everyone else's is "easy." And to be honest, when I used to feel that way, my hair WAS hard. It was hard because it FELT hard because I was trying to take care of my hair like it was someone else's hair. Trying to fit a round peg into a square hole. As soon as I grabbed the square peg, it glided in. It is all in the mindset.
. I remember you did have a thread about relaxing but changed your mind, BUT if you aren't happy with how your hair is acting, you've grown it out and maybe you could try a really really gentle kiddy relaxer if you ever do consider it again? It all depends on what you want your hair to do, and if it just isn't what you like, then you could always change it up so that it is.
super natural over here. But it really resonates with me because my mother and grandmother did not have access to this info and truly viewed kinky hair as a burden unless it was the long curly variety. So, while I relate to feelings of hair frustration, I actually feel privileged that we have the knowledge now to reverse course and learn how to deal with our hair efficiently and lovingly.
