A Private School In Louisiana Sends A Black Girl Home For Having Extensions

Discussion in 'News - Breaking News & Political Forum' started by CurlyNiquee, Aug 21, 2018.

  1. lesedi

    lesedi All is well with me

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    Mothers aren't lazy for not wanting to do their daughter's hair every night. Can mothers live please???

    If you have a tenderheaded 4b child please back me up
     
    Last edited: Aug 22, 2018
  2. qchelle

    qchelle Well-Known Member

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    Also, most mothers work outside the home today. Unlike 30+ yrs ago, when they had more time.

    I can't believe people are defending this policy by saying 'black girls shouldn't wear extensions anyway'. What does this have to do with anything? Especially since the principal said 'they're swinging it and things like that'. You've gotta be kidding me. All white girls do is swing their hair.... because they can't help it cuz their hair naturally swings. So are they making them cut their hair off?
     
  3. momi

    momi Well-Known Member

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    well then :look:
     
  4. momi

    momi Well-Known Member

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    You know you do have a point - I never remember seeing any of my friends with weave. We sat between somebody's knees and had our hair braided. Some of my best memories are spending time with my grandmother while she braided my hair. Maybe that's why most of the women in my family still have our edges.
     
  5. Cattypus1

    Cattypus1 That's not how any of this works...

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    This should be on the news along with the picture of the school and the enrollment numbers. These colonizers need to stop trying to colonize and leave these children alone! I had a similar experience with braids with my own hair in high school . I can’t believe this crap still happens!
     
  6. Everything Zen

    Everything Zen Well-Known Member

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    OH GOD!!!! :cry:

    I was so tenderheaded- but well behaved. I used to put up with it, but this post just triggered PTSD. When they were done with my hair I used to have to take a pain pill. My hair was so thick they'd wash it dry and get to styling only to find soap still in in- and this could happen at some professional shops too!!! :cry:

    One time- I hid my mom's keys so we would miss the weekly appointment for that press n' curl. :look:

    I wore braids with extensions in the summers because I was a highly active child. Swimming, competitive gymnast (and look how much flack Gabby got over her hair) and track all without a relaxer) just a press n' curl until undergrad.

    All I wanted to do was live and not worry about my hair. :cry:
     
  7. Kanky

    Kanky Well-Known Member

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    Of course they aren’t lazy. :rolleyes: And braids still have to be washed, conditioned, moisturized and dried after swimming. They just aren’t combing and rebraiding hair several times a week.
     
  8. dicapr

    dicapr Well-Known Member

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    I don’t think anyone is lazy but they are looking for convenience. Before extentions were mainstream little girls hair was done one the regular basis. Tender headed or not.

    I actually think that regular maintenance made it easier to do. My hair wasn’t nearly as tangled getting it done weekly/bi-weekly then when it was when I started detangling less frequently. Even when I went natural after becoming an adult I found my hair was easier to manage with regular detangling than leaving it be.
     
  9. Kanky

    Kanky Well-Known Member

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    There was a thread a while back about black people drowning and how so many black children can’t swim. Some of that is about money and access to a pool, but the inconvenience of having to redo kinky hair daily is also a factor. If braid extensions help black girls swim several times a week then that’s a convenience worth fighting for.

    I personally have never had a swim cap that didn’t leak a little but maybe I’ve never found a good one.

    But anyway these comments criticizing braid extensions are an excellent example of the obsession with policing black hair that I posted about initially. A mother does what works best for her situation with her daughter’s hair and suddenly she’s a lazy mother who is giving her kid low self esteem and bald edges. :lol: And this on a hair forum where people should know better.
     
  10. lesedi

    lesedi All is well with me

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    Yes they are looking for convenience. What's wrong with that though?

    Also as @Kanky mentioned, the hair is still getting done regularly, just not rebraided daily. And these are age appropriate styles, I just don't get it.
     
  11. Brwnbeauti

    Brwnbeauti Well-Known Member

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    Braided extensions shouldn’t be allowed on little girls? Y’all are tripping. This appears to be grade school.
    I understand rules about length and color.
    I’d like to see the rest of their code of conduct...
     
  12. dicapr

    dicapr Well-Known Member

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    I don’t have an issue with people doing things that convenience but people are acting as if not using extensions is a hardship or discrimination against black women. That’s not the case. Extentions make life easier and that is why the parents are mad.

    We don’t need fake hair nor is it some kind of hardship to have black little girls feel good about themselves and their hair without extensions.
     
  13. Jasmataz

    Jasmataz .........

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    :yep: Pretty much.
     
  14. momi

    momi Well-Known Member

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    I'm sure students having basic braided styles has not been a problem in the past. More than likely, other students started pushing the envelope with extravagant weaved out styles and the school was forced to draw the line.

    It's unfortunate that everyone suffers in these types of situations.

    The policy has to apply for everyone across the board because otherwise parents would complain that the policy was not enforced fairly. One bad apple can spoil the whole bunch.
     
    dyh080 likes this.
  15. Kanky

    Kanky Well-Known Member

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    Extensions let a tenderheaded 4b use the pool with the same ease and frequency as a 1a without having to spend hours “sitting between someone’s knees” and having her hair done after every swim. I would count hours of haircare daily and not being able to swim as often as I wanted as a hardship. The extensions aren’t necessary for self esteem but not spending all your free time on hair care might be.

    We swim several times a week. I wet my 4a hair, saturate it with conditioner and use swim cap then rinse afterwards and do a wash and go. I use a chelating shampoo every week or so. I can do this because I can wash and go and because I am a SAHM so my hair can be doing whatever. This routine doesn’t work for my 4b friend who can’t wash and go and has to work the next day, so she rarely joins us in the pool.

    It isn’t that black girls need fake hair, it is that we need to be left alone to decide what makes sense for our hair and lifestyles without other people acting as the hair police. The policing, obsessing and criticizing is a lot more damaging to self esteem than some extensions could ever be.
     
  16. yamilee21

    yamilee21 Well-Known Member

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    No Catholic institution is in a position right now to further alienate anyone. Catholic schools are closing down or consolidating everywhere throughout the United States, yet the Diocese of New Orleans finds the time to create and double-down on the pettiest of superficial rules? Maybe at another time, this would just be an inconvenient rule, but with what just came out of Pennsylvania, and similar reports forthcoming for other areas, this incident is spectacularly tone-deaf.
     
  17. dicapr

    dicapr Well-Known Member

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    Hair gets policed period. My job has axed some white girl friendly styles too. That’s life. To me the idea that 4b can’t wash and go is foreign because my friend was able to do wash and go’s with short 4b hair but I’ll take your word for it. I’m 4a/4b and could wash and go with short hair but not long. I still washed on the regular and had a wet bun.
     
  18. Kanky

    Kanky Well-Known Member

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    Yeah, I am side eyeing parents for continuing to allow these people access to their children. There is clearly a long standing culture of allowing children to abused and protecting the abusers. This is at least the third time that they’ve been caught covering up large numbers of abused children.

    They need to be rolling out new rules that will keep the kids from being molested instead of worrying about braids.
     
    Last edited: Aug 22, 2018
  19. Kanky

    Kanky Well-Known Member

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    :lol: Don’t take my word for it. I hear there’s a whole hair forum with black women talking about their hair struggles.

    As far white girl hair policing goes, sometimes people need equity, not equality. Banning extensions has a very different effect on white women’s hair situation. If someone banned sunscreen at an outdoor pool then most black people would be fine, or at least a lot less inconvenienced by the ban than white people who would have to use the pool a lot less because of the rule change. The braid extension thing is kind of like that. Black people get cheated a lot by rules that look fair on the surface but have a disparate impact.
     
  20. bellatiamarie

    bellatiamarie Well-Known Member

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    @Kanky because thanks just was not enough sis.
     
  21. Reinventing21

    Reinventing21 Spreading my wings

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    @Kanky I didn' t know where to begin on this topic, but you hit all the nails

    :toocool::clapping::cup:
     
  22. dicapr

    dicapr Well-Known Member

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    We will agree to disagree. I am just tired of the narrative that our hair difficult, needs special consideration ect. You can wear box braids sans extentions and wash and care for your hair in that manner. My niece was able to maintain mid-back hair taking swimming lessons doing this. No extra hair just her own hair box braided.

    I’ve worn and enjoyed extentions in my hair so I’m not anti-extentions. But I just can’t get behind the idea that we need,must, alter our hair in some way for it to be presentable. I don’t see the policy as anti-black hair. I think it is very pro-black hair. It basically reinforces the idea that our hair doesn’t need to be covered or added to in order to be presentable.

    I was at a wedding this weekend and more than half of the women there had some type of fake hair on their heads. It’s just getting sad to me. But so many don’t see the issue with it. We are sending a subtitle message that black hair is needs to be covered or enhanced in someway just to be presentable.

    ETA- My taking your word for it had nothing to do with black hair struggles. It was in reference to 4bs not being able to do wash and go’s. To me wash and go is a short to medium length thing. I don’t know to many long haired naturals that wash and go on the regular.
     
  23. dyh080

    dyh080 Well-Known Member

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    Thank you, especially for the bolded. People need to stop emotionally "affecting" the self esteem young Black girls with the idea that their hair alone is enough.

    Little girls can wear plaits(yes we don't hear that word much anymore) and look beautiful in their own hair. If not, as you say, wash and go work very well. Swimming, vacations, roller coasters, you name it. No problem. And it can be done without tangles, contrary to popular excuses.
     
  24. LiftedUp

    LiftedUp Well-Known Member

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    I'm confused as well. Extensions were not allowed in school when I was growing up and I have 4b hair and took swimming classes. Many girls wore mini braids or cornrows and washed and conditioned in those styles after swimming. In fact, those who went on to swim competitively kept their hair natural vs using a relaxer. My mother chose to redo my 4b hair every day (swim class or not) and yes she was a working mother. She had me soak my hair every morning in the shower if anyone is wondering, to help detangle, towel dried, greased and plaited.

    I do not like the connotation that black girls need extensions to have "manageable" hair. Our hair care routine just differs.
     
  25. Reinventing21

    Reinventing21 Spreading my wings

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    It is tricky because I agree with @Kanky and @dicapr at the same time. I completely agree that girls should NOT be made to feel as though their hair NEEDS fake hair to be acceptable. I too find it sad when I see in certain spaces all the girls wearing fake shiny overly straight hair especially when more realistic hair is available. I absolutely hate the term 'good hair' when referring to hair other than type 4. I also think it is abusive when I see girls in pain and agony just to get their own hair and/ or extensions braided.

    The distinction I make though in this scenario is that I think the Black community alone needs to decide what is acceptable in school, the work place etc. I am tired of the idea of what is acceptable has to be based on something white or approved by whites to be validated.

    There should be flexibility allowed. Not everyone is skilled in braiding or styling any kind of hair. Maybe the mom has a young baby and works. Maybe the child is involved in lots of extracurricular activities that further limit time in addition to having a ton of homework (kids these have more homework and longer days thsn ever). Maybe the girl suffered a hair setback and needs a protective style that will help the child's esteem while her hair grows back. There are so many reasons why a person may choose a braided style with extra hair. I am not good at doing hair. I have very dense thick awesome hair, no matter the length etc. When I have gotten braids, I got extra hair added so that the style would last longer, my own hair would be protected and for fun. Also my sched would not allow me to be able to spend washing /conditioning/ rebraiding hair everyday.

    I have grown up around all kinds of people and best believe there is always a desire (from non black women) to keep black women feeling bad about their hair. That is why I recoil when others make decisions that should be made collectively by Black people only.

    I wonder what would happen if the girl showed up with her hair braided with hair that matched exactly her own hair but was bra strap length. Would they assume the girl had fake hair because Black girls "can't grow/have long hair"? How far would they go to prove it?

    Ok after all that rambling lol, I am sure there is someone who can better express what I am trying to say. TIA:D
     
    Last edited: Aug 23, 2018
  26. luckiestdestiny

    luckiestdestiny Well-Known Member

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    All of this. Seeing that poor baby crying over this b.s has me :angry2:. They knew exactly what they were doing. And they waited, in order to make an example out of her in front of others for their own entertainment imo.
     
  27. luckiestdestiny

    luckiestdestiny Well-Known Member

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    I understand what you're saying and agree. Also, I am wondering how they would know that she has extensions anyways? What are they doing, going around analyzing kid's hair daily? How could they prove it? I swear I would blink at them as a parent because how do you know? Are they assuming that a specific length = extensions? How exactly is this rule applied? What embarrassment and torment has the child gone through in order for these so called teachers to "assess" who has fake or real hair: Individual braid inspections? Unraveling of braid and/or braids in front of the class? How exactly does one come to the conclusion that a child has extensions in order to make a judgement call on all of this? This is why I think that rule in particular is ridiculous.

    Then there are things like sick children. Are we regulating which child can wear scalp prosthesis (that's what it's called when you wear extensions and/ or wigs and you're sick medically speaking as both partial and complete extensions and wigs are approved for this particular use medically and by health insurance) because they have cancer or some other illness that has caused hair loss? What about those with autoimmune alopecia (among many other diseases that can cause hair loss in addition to cancer)? Now they have to be subjected to further insult and inspection of their hair because of some ridiculous rules. This is just going too far. Hair is a sensitive subject, and even more so when it comes to the needs of each community, coupled with the "special needs" that may need to be accounted for as well such as what I mentioned. It is not always about "pride", nor is there a reason to use judgement on others and look down on other people's hair practices which should be left up to the individual to decide. No one knows what is going on in someone's world unless they live it.

    Now deciding perhaps basic styles, I'm okay with for uniform purposes as long as they take into account racial "sensitivities" because we are individuals (things like maybe saying no purple hair, etc). Not everyone is alike and their hair is not going to be anyways. But deciding on other factors is going too far (extensions, weaves, wigs. etc).
     
    Last edited: Aug 24, 2018
  28. luckiestdestiny

    luckiestdestiny Well-Known Member

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    I remember a girl who used to blow her bangs. She was white, should we cut them off :rofl: ? What a distraction! Blow them over and over and over. :lol: and it was in fifth grade. I just came from Germany and wondered if it was an American white girl thing :lol: because I'd never seen that before from other wgs in Europe. She was actually the most popular girl too so a lot of other girls started doing the blowing bang thing too. I watched this with utter fascination but refused to participate because it was just odd. So they were blowing away with these bangs but only those whose bangs blew because there was another black girl who was her friend and the poor thing tried to blow her bangs but they were too stiff to flutter like they should. It was sad because she couldn't do the subtle blow, she had to blow hard and those bangs still weren't moving much :rofl: .

    Ah memories.

    But yeah, wg s will play in their hair, pick at split ends, flip their hair incessantly, braid and rebraid their hair when it unravels, and the whole blow their bangs thing (haven't seen it anywhere else) ...but regardless of what white girls did in school, they definitely were playing in their hair all the time. So I do think the policy is racist and a way to focus in on black kids. What are they doing to stop the distraction of wgs and their hair? Unless they're asking them to put their hair in struggle braids and bobby pin them down so they don't move, or some other bun that is untouched...there is discrimination going on and they are inconsiderate to the needs of others. AND again as I asked in a previous thread, how do they know that we are wearing extensions anyways? Why are they so fixated on hair extensions and how are they a disruption? With all the clipins out there, I'm pretty certain wgs are wearing some as well. I can't let a pass happen because someone in charge is black, they may say some of the things said here where people aren't considering the needs of others that may fall outside of their understanding (health, race, the fact that we're all different with different needs)...or they may just be the type who makes your life more difficult and want to regulate the black community despite being black:
    [​IMG]

    Who knows their reasons? Whatever they are, they are problematic and don't take into consideration special nuances that are necessary.
     
    Last edited: Aug 24, 2018
  29. Southernbella.

    Southernbella. Well-Known Member

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    I'm confused...braid extensions aren't like lacefronts or buttlength weaves. Braid extensions are less about vanity and more about extending the life of a style (with length/added thickness being a bonus).

    I hate weave and always have but wouldn't hesitate to add hair for a braided style because dd has fine hair that slips out of every single braid or twist within 24 hours.
     
  30. Everything Zen

    Everything Zen Well-Known Member

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    If people would mind their own business this would be much ado about nothing. I wear wigs bc of the corporate environment I’m in and my life is consumed by my work and school. It is what it is- there are way too many other hills out there in the professional landscape just waiting for me to die on. I don’t have the energy to devote to the natural hair one at this time in my life. I have no problem being natural underneath with cornrows. I have worn the same short bob for years bc I don’t want any attention about my hair. I want people to focus on what a great job I do at work. Whenever I do get my hair done people lose their minds instead of just making a comment acknowledging it and moving on. Honestly- it’s exhausting and I’m less inclined to want to make any changes.
     

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