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Becky is rude. Or is she?

Tenacious

Member
I think black people are so dependent on weave and so attached and use it as a sense of self confidence to the point where if anyone talks about it we get offended and angry. Oh she said I had a weave! (well damn, don't you? Would you be mad if he called you out for having a relaxer or wearing a banana clip? Cornrows?)

Most white women think of fake hair as accessories unless they are genuinely going bald it really isn't a big deal to them. We got Jessica Simpson making phony ponies and Paris Hilton selling lace fronts and white folks are proud of wearing them and will gladly tell you what it is and where they got it. I have asked white girls if they have extensions all the time and none of them have flipped on anybody. They ask eachother and don't care either. You rarely see white people pulling weaves off of eachother as the first part of a fight, and you don't hear them calling eachother out on weaves in a negative way. Its just a hair accessory, and they know it.

Unfortunately black women don't realize that, which is why theyre so attached to it and so desperate to keep it a secret. We make something that should be regarded as an accessory into something embarrassing, when someone asks us about this accessory, we act like they asked if we had a yeast infection or if we used to be a man or something. I mean, is it really, really that crucial? The sad thing is it is obvious when people are wearing these things or not (I mean come on, if you are NL thin one day and SL thick the next we know you did some weaving...), and yet we still act like it was a tragedy and a crime against black people for somebody white to ask. Like its a family secret or something. It gets personal. Black women want people to believe they have hair like that we buy in weaves, yet we are offended when people ask if its a weave when we are actually wearing a weave. If its your real hair its cool to say "No, its mine" with a smile. But if its fake we get uncomfortable.

If you can wear the weave, you need to be fierce with it and accept whatever people throw at you. It is your choice, you need to work it or take the weave out. I mean you can either lie and say its yours (and admit to having issues) or admit its an accessory (and be normal) or be offended that somebody asked (which I think is odd, its like being mad somebody asking whether that purse is a real Coach bag--- you got it off the truck to convince somebody it was real and wanna be mad when they call you out?:nono:)


YOU SAID IT GURL!!! You've gotta be fierce with it no matter what ppl think about your hair. I've been known to break out in shiny, Bob-like wigs, a curly lion-like mane of BLOND WSL hair, phony-ponies to my butt. I think I wear them so good that people believe it's mine. But it's all about how you wear it. Hair, to me, is an accessory. Yes, I want it longer but when I want some fire-red hair one day, I may just whip out a wig or some braids. I'm not gonna dye my own hair. That costs too much money to look good for one day.

And If someone asks me, I don't lie. I've never lied about my real/fake hair. I say, "yeah, I got this at Hair Wonder/Weave Mart for $5.99 a pack." It's just an accessory to me. I get more people saying how pretty it is rather than ask if it's real. Many just say things like, "Your hair is long..." but that's because I dont go around acting like it's so precious and delicate and secretive. When I wear them, I'm bold about it. If I want a long ponytail, I'ma wear a long ponytail. I don't care if it "looks" real. It's all about the look you're trying to pull off. If I wanna look like Janet Jackson on the Feedback video, I'ma do it, my real hair or not.
 

Suerte

New Member
Eh. Kinda yes and kinda no.

Some people think it's okay to as if gold, diamonds, handbags, shoes, breasts, and hair are real or fake.

I personally don't think it's rude but I see how many others think it is. Especially about hair. The only time I get offended is when people actually come up and put their hands in my head like "Okay so is that bonded in...?" :rolleyes: They can ask all they want just don't touch me.
 

cmw45

Well-Known Member
I think if you alternate between wearing a weave and not you cant really be offended if people cant catch up and figure out when your hair is real or a weave.

It kinda comes with the territory, its like when folks get implants and get offended when people can spot it--- why did you get something fake if youre gonna be mad when inquiring minds want to know?

BUT If she did sound rude, or if she has issues with you, I would be like right back at her: "Is yours a weave?" If she looks flustered or offended, be like "Well dayum thats how I felt when you asked me!"

Exactly!

@ your siggy...Actually, I think from the photo you look like bra-strap. But congrats! :lachen:
 

fivetimestwo

New Member
I am mad her real name is Becky :lachen::lachen::lachen::lachen:

I really don't know Becky so I couldn't say for sure. Part of me really believes that non-Black women are not used to the idea that many black women (like yourself) have beautiful, long, thick hair. I have never felt comfortable to ask anyone if their hair was real or not. So, I do think she was a bit bold to ask you.

ITA. I don't think that's a question you should ask someone. Somethings are better left "un-asked" :yep:
 

Suerte

New Member
Someone needs to bend over and let their hair touch the floor and claim floor length. If I had a photographer I'd so do it, LOL.
 

Dayjoy

Old School Member
It's funny...I've seen white girls get all flustered when someone asks them if their yellow hair means they are a natural blond. Now we all know that less than 10% of people are natural blonds but we see at least 6 out of ten white girls with blond hair. Why is it rude to ask about their hair color but not a black woman's weave?
 

wannabelong

Well-Known Member
I think it's rude because it's a personal question. If you are not close friends with someone I don't think you should ask if their hair is real or not. It's really a shame that many people assume a black woman with long hair has a weave.
 

Caramela

New Member
She is baffled that a person with long hair would chose to wear a phony pony. My real hair is MBL, but when I am c/o washing and still want to be cute, I will slick it back and put on a wavy pony... But I'm not about to explain all this to her. I just don't understand why she even cares enough to ask. So eventhough I'm MBL I don't think she even believes my real hair is my own :nono:
 

MizAvalon

Well-Known Member
I'm not being racial, because her name really is Becky. She's my co worker and she asked me if my hair was real. Sometimes it is and sometimes it's not. But the point is why does she feel it's ok to ask me? Is asking someone if their hair is real rude? What are your thoughts?

Yes, she is being rude. I think that question is incredibly rude and I don't care who is asking it or what their race is. When people have asked me that question I have told them point blank how rude it is to ask something like that.

Hopefully they stopped doing it.
 

aloof one

New Member
I think it's rude because it's a personal question. If you are not close friends with someone I don't think you should ask if their hair is real or not. It's really a shame that many people assume a black woman with long hair has a weave.

Is it white peoples fault that it is a shame?

OR the many black women walking around with weaves trying to convince these people that they have straight long hair who are at fault?

Maybe when we let go of the weaves we will let go of the tension and emotion and anger that comes from someone asking about a hair accessory. Just a thought.
 

Maynard

Well-Known Member
Is it white peoples fault that it is a shame?

OR the many black women walking around with weaves trying to convince these people that they have straight long hair who are at fault?

Maybe when we let go of the weaves we will let go of the tension and emotion and anger that comes from someone asking about a hair accessory. Just a thought.

I have refrained from posting in this thread cause I was thinking this the whole time.


Its not a big deal to me.

:shrug:
 

PeggyFair

New Member
Is it white peoples fault that it is a shame?

OR the many black women walking around with weaves trying to convince these people that they have straight long hair who are at fault?

Maybe when we let go of the weaves we will let go of the tension and emotion and anger that comes from someone asking about a hair accessory. Just a thought.

You are so on point it aint even funny. Sooo many women wear weaves that it is hard to tell. And let's face it, it is rare to see a Black woman with very long hair and weaves are much more common. The United States has become so PC to the point where alot of well meaning Whites are afraid to ask Blacks certain questions for fear of being branded a racist and in some cases vice versa. If someone asks me if my hair is real, I just answer yes and keep it moving.
 

vaqtea

Active Member
I really can't say if she was being rude or not- some people might be fascinated with the length of your hair while others might not believe it is real but overall, I don't think it is polite to ask someone if their hair is real or not. This especially applies when the person asking is not a family member or close friend (not to say that anyone should be asking :grin:).
I found it very embarrasing when a co-worker of mine asked me this same question because it was asked in a very accusing way.

I posted that video of Barbara Walters several days ago- here it is again:

http://www.bestweekever.tv/2006/07/18/icymi-barbara-still-puzzled-by-black-women/

You can see that Brandy did not like the question, but she handled herself extremely well!


For some reason this clip pissed me off!

I really, really didnt like the way Ms. Walters grabbed the second ladies hair :nono:

She didnt even give the guest a chance to answer the question before she

had her hands all up in their heads! Im just disgusted!
 

Candycane044

New Member
For some reason this clip pissed me off!

I really, really didnt like the way Ms. Walters grabbed the second ladies hair :nono:

She didnt even give the guest a chance to answer the question before she

had her hands all up in their heads! Im just disgusted!

I can't believe she PULLED it!! Wow... how ignorant.:nono::nono::nono:
 
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