Birth Control for a Virgin?

[LovelyNaps26]

Hey Ladies,

I just read the "Marriage Issues" sticky thread in the relationship forum and one of the things that concerned me was that for some women birth control lowered their libido, leading to problems around sex early in their marriage.

I don't like the idea of hormones but b/c I'm a virgin I'm not sure what other things I can use. Obviously I can use a condom but what's the purpose of being abstinent and then have to use a condom with my husband?

I've done a google search but the only other option, Family Planning method, seems wishy washy since my cycle, about once a year, starts a few days earlier than normal. Plus that would mean a good 2 weeks of abstinence when i include my time of the month. That's not what i envisioned of married life at allerplexed

If you have any suggestions I'd love to hear. I'm asking mostly out of curiosity since I'm not even engaged. Feel free to PM me if you would rather it not be on the thread.

 

[LovingLady]

..........

 

[Guitarhero]

Welcome to The Couple to Couple League

Natural Family Planning (NFP) and Fertility Awareness (FA). They use a combination of methods and awareness of the change in your hormone status to determine periods of high fertility.

 

[Prudent1]

Welcome to The Couple to Couple League

Natural Family Planning (NFP) and Fertility Awareness (FA). They use a combination of methods and awareness of the change in your hormone status to determine periods of high fertility.

^^^That's what I was going to suggest along with perhaps some herbal remedies. You might want to talk to some of the ladies in the Natural forum. For the answer to your question but also to see if there is something you can do to regulate your body's cycles so guessing will not be in the picture. There shouldn't be 2 weeks of no sex. More like a few days strategically placed over a month. Yeah, that would put a damper on marriage for sure.

 

[Guitarhero]

^^^That's what I was going to suggest along with perhaps some herbal remedies. You might want to talk to some of the ladies in the Natural forum. For the answer to your question but also to see if there is something you can do to regulate your body's cycles so guessing will not be in the picture. There shouldn't be 2 weeks of no sex. More like a few days strategically placed over a month. Yeah, that would put a damper on marriage for sure.

Don't be naughty now...cuz I know of Jewish orthodox couples who practice this and they have the strongest marriages possible. Why? They are not treating each other like masturbatory tools. They have 2 weeks off to foster the actual mental relationship and that longing for each other grows so that when they consummate, it's even sweeter. They are not treating each other like animals. I know you didn't mean it that way...but....there's always another side. Guess when they consummate? During the fertile period. Soooo...."be fruitful and multiply." Plus, they plan the wedding for the fertile time of the woman.


And...NFP and FA are definitely not guessing, it's a very involved technique which is very accurate and needs training and support.

 

[dancinstallion]

There are other things you can use besides condoms for birth control that doesn't have hormones. They are inserts.... You insert one before each sexual act. Some you have to wait about 10 minutes for it to work and another you can act right away.
some of the names are Encare, Vcf, and it is one more that comes in a tube like a monistat tube that you insert. You can find it at walmart, i like that one better.

 

[blackbarbietea]

You can do an IUD even thought it's debatable if that is abortion or not.
Also they have patches and hormone implants than last up to 5 years. When I get married I will do the hormone implant.

 

[dancinstallion]

]You can do an IUD [/B]even thought it's debatable if that is abortion or not.
Also they have patches and hormone implants than last up to 5 years. When I get married I will do the hormone implant.

She doesn't want something with hormones and the IUD is only recommended and good for people who have at least one child. Alot of doctors won't give you the iud if you have no children because that is one of the requirements.

 

[LovelyNaps26]

Don't be naughty now...cuz I know of Jewish orthodox couples who practice this and they have the strongest marriages possible. Why? They are not treating each other like masturbatory tools. They have 2 weeks off to foster the actual mental relationship and that longing for each other grows so that when they consummate, it's even sweeter. They are not treating each other like animals. I know you didn't mean it that way...but....there's always another side. Guess when they consummate? During the fertile period. Soooo...."be fruitful and multiply." Plus, they plan the wedding for the fertile time of the woman.


And...NFP and FA are definitely not guessing, it's a very involved technique which is very accurate and needs training and support.

Nothing against the Orthodox Jewish culture but I can't say that would be me. Furthermore I don't think wanting to be intimate with your partner is treating them like a "tool" or acting like an animal. If you're married and committed rather than just "hooking up" then I see nothing wrong with letting your love spill over in the bedroom. Shoot, I done spent 27 years waiting and building up the expectation. I don't see why I need to do that when I'm in a covenant relationship with my husband.

Also, I checked out that website and they basically recommend 2 weeks. Day 1 of the cycle is the first day of your period. They say that you can be intimate days 1-7. Okay, that's assuming that a woman wants to be intimate when she's on her monthly. Sometimes I barely want to get out of bed so umm, yeah, that's not happening for at least the first 4 days. Then they say not to anything from day 8-19. That seems long. I guess having waited until my late 20s, 15 to 17 days of nothing seems like a looooooong time.

Thanks ladies for you input.

 

[Guitarhero]

Nothing against the Orthodox Jewish culture but I can't say that would be me. Furthermore I don't think wanting to be intimate with your partner is treating them like a "tool" or acting like an animal. If you're married and committed rather than just "hooking up" then I see nothing wrong with letting your love spill over in the bedroom. Shoot, I done spent 27 years waiting and building up the expectation. I don't see why I need to do that when I'm in a covenant relationship with my husband.

Also, I checked out that website and they basically recommend 2 weeks. Day 1 of the cycle is the first day of your period. They say that you can be intimate days 1-7. Okay, that's assuming that a woman wants to be intimate when she's on her monthly. Sometimes I barely want to get out of bed so umm, yeah, that's not happening for at least the first 4 days. Then they say not to anything from day 8-19. That seems long. I guess having waited until my late 20s, 15 to 17 days of nothing seems like a looooooong time.

Thanks ladies for you input.

Oh dear, that wasn't my intent at all, it was a response to another post. In other words, it's not the physical sex that sets the love of the marriage, many times it's deep mental communication and that makes the physical act even sweeter. I wasn't equating sexual love with animalistic behavior, but we all know that in this sex-crazed secular culture we live in, the physical act has become a form of worship. THat was my intent. I was pointing out that there are deeply loving and viable marriages out there and that some of the religious practices of some people (not at all saying anyone should follow their example to prove godliness) who follow those practices find the time off to strengthen their marriages. Of course, you are going to have to do what you wish to do and nobody else can guilt you or pressure you into anything .