(Note: This is kind of long. So, feel free to just read the first paragraph which has the basic sentiment and then keep it pushing.)
Honestly, I'm also very tired of protesting and boycotting. Which is why, for me, not frequenting non-black restaurants is not so much about a boycott or a protest; it's instead about self-preservation. I had a complete mental shift a while ago, even before this latest incident, where it occurred to me that too many wypipo in this country simply do not know how to act right (and not enough who do are putting those people in check), and I'm putting myself in harms way every time I decide to put myself in their spaces. Sometimes it can't be helped, but there are plenty of times when it can be helped. Where it can be helped, I've just decided to refuse to fund my own oppression. Why should I keep paying these people money to call the police on me or people who look like me? I'm not doing this to punish them; I'm doing it to save myself. It will probably take more than a generation for these people to catch some sense, which means that I'm committing to years of not frequenting certain places (at least in this country).
I agree with what
@weaveadiva quoted upthread with regard to not using black businesses only as a last resort when our faves are acting up. I agree, because I've decided that some of my "faves" need to go, not so much because I'm an innate separatist (I'm really not), but I have recognized the need for self-preservation as I said. So, I'm needing to find a new normal in spaces where I can feel more safe and accepted. I used the language of boycott in my
prior post, because that's what a lot of people in our community understand. In all honesty though, I think that each individual should conduct a personal audit into ways in which she may be funding her own oppression and make changes accordingly. That way we're not constantly in a position of having to react with protests and boycotts all the time. There's no boycott needed if most of us are already divested. And if most of us are already divested, then we would see significantly fewer incidents like this, because our people simply would not be in these spaces. That would also leave us with a lot more energy and mental space to attack broader issues more strategically instead of constantly having to rely on kneejerk reactions to the latest offense, which is exhausting. In battle, the best soldiers know when it's time to fall back and regroup.
The great thing about a personal audit is that it's personal. You can take a look at your own life and determine where you have room to begin divesting, and you can do it at your own pace and in your own way. Here's what my personal audit for divestment has changed so far:
Restaurants and coffee shops:
- I just don't go to non-black establishments anymore. I live in the Pacific Northwest. So, it's hella hard to find black owned establishments here, but it can be done. There's even a black owned vegan restaurant that I can go to called Plum Bistro. The food is really good.
- I eat at home a lot. More times than not, the food that I make is better than most of what I can get from a restaurant anyway.
- It's much more difficult when needing to meet people out, because I don't generally want to set foot in places I would have normally gone. This one hasn't been tested much yet. But there are parks in my general area where I can meet people. They can stop and get food on their way, and I can bring food from home if they want to make it a lunch meeting. If necessary, there's also the option to simply not spend any money wherever I'm meeting that person. That's a last resort option though, because I simply do not wish to physically be in certain spaces anymore.
Movies and TV:
- This one is easy, and I've actually been doing this for years. I don't pay money for or give ratings to movies and TV shows that don't include me. (i.e., No BW, no money) The ratings part is easy, because I don't have cable, but typically I will support TV shows that have BW and girls central to the story by buying or renting the streaming videos from Amazon or the Google Play Store.
- That doesn't mean that I don't ever watch Movies and TV shows that don't include BW and girls. I just don't pay for them. (eta: If you do have cable, giving shows ratings is a way of paying for it, because not only are there the commercials, but they also get the audience numbers to be able to sell that ad space.) Some people may find that option objectionable, which means anyone choosing to go to this level of extreme may be cutting out a lot of different shows and movies. I personally don't have a problem with it, so that's how I roll.
Church:
- Living where I do, there aren't a lot of options in this category. I used to attend a multi-cultural (predominantly white) church in the area. A few years ago, it occurred to me that probably half of the people at that church were regular viewers of Fox News. Those same people may smile in your face, but they were feeding on a steady diet of hatred and misinformation. I decided that predominantly white churches were not a place where I could be properly nurtured. This was long before the 2016 election. I can imagine that most, if not all, of those people voted for Trump (as over 80% of white evangelicals did just that). I'm glad I left before that.
- Honestly, I had been suffering from church fatigue for a while. So, the race issue was only one of the reasons I left.
Area that needs more work:
Online shopping: I buy a lot of stuff from Amazon. But a lot of the things that I order are so unorthodox. Most of my necessities are purchased at the grocery store. Where are the black online vendors to sell me supplements? Or diatomaceous earth? Or fountain pen ink? I could stand to order more clothing from black businesses, but other than that...
But again, this is the type of stuff that is directly within my control. And doing this keeps me from having to constantly react to the latest thing that's happening. Another thing that helps is that I also refuse to look at anymore of these videos. I know this mess is happening. I don't need to see another video as proof. All it does is make me angry. So, instead of getting angry, I make a mental note to review my most recent divestment audit to see if I need to make any additions or adjustments. In this case, I didn't, because I'm already doing the thing that I need to do to keep myself out of this specific situation. Which brings me back full circle where this is about self-preservation, not a specific boycott. For those of us tired of the reacting, a divestment mentality seems to me to be the next level.