Do You Explain Your Hair To Whyte Folx?

MissYocairis

MissYocairis

Well-Known Member
This morning, a co-worker came in with a crimped water-fall phony pony. She usually wears her hair in a flat-ironed wrap style so, the phony pony was quite a different look for her.

Well, all the whyte folx were commenting on the ponytail, you know..."OH! How'd you DO that?" "WOW! That is so NEAT!" "HEY! Is that your hair?" "Lord, Ja'Marah, what is THAT?!" etc.

So, she proceeds to explain to a rapt audience of lily-whyte folx that the pony is fake hair; she just added it this morning 'cause she was "bored"; it's just a change of pace; she'll be taking it down tonight; she only put it on cause she needs a relaxer; yada yada yada....

Then, as if that wasn't complete enough dissertation for these nosy ass folx, she proceeds to explain that she needs a relaxer and that "all my hair underneath this ponytail is ROUGH. I only relax once a month but if I do not, then it won't all be straight, it will be rough at the roots and straight on the ends...." To which the fascinated white folx cooed "woooooooooow". I don't even really think the actually gave a crap about her phony pony, her new growth or her relaxing habits but, because they were so at a loss for words, she just kept talking. :huh:

I wanted to throw up. :barf: Do you feel you owe white folx an explanation about what is going on with your wig? :cool:
 
I don't think it's an "explainantion" per se, but as much as I LOVE talking about hair, I probably wouldn't mind. Besides, I do get some pride out of the fact that I am "good enough" to get my super curly/ frizzy/ somewhat nappy hair as straight as I do.

Because seriously, ladies, have we not developed some serious talent when it comes to hair?

So no, I don't view it as "nosy" at all. Just some girl talk. ;)
 
aileenadq said:
I don't think it's an "explainantion" per se, but as much as I LOVE talking about hair, I probably wouldn't mind. Besides, I do get some pride out of the fact that I am "good enough" to get my super curly/ frizzy/ somewhat nappy hair as straight as I do.

Because seriously, ladies, have we not developed some serious talent when it comes to hair?

So no, I don't view it as "nosy" at all. Just some girl talk. ;)
Click to expand...


I agree with that. And, I Feel that if it was all women. It was one old white woman and two middle aged white men.
 
Really It isn't anybodies business. If I get comments like "wow you changed your hair" I say " Yeah I decided to do something different with my hair" or "Yeah I decided to wear some curls or wear it straight"

If they ask if it is my hair I say "No they are extentions...you know like the ones Brittany Spears wears"

When I wear braids they always wanna know if I can wash my hair. I give them a weird look and say "Yes I can wash my hair"

It gets on my nerves when other races get misinformation from Black women and assume that ALL Black women must do the same things. Like the whole Monique not shaving her legs, or All Black women do this that or the other
 
I don't feel like I owe an explanation, but everyone is still fascinated by my hair. I end up giving an explanation anyone, and it usually irks me.:mad:
 
Nope. I just give them the smile and nod. And keep it moving. Because once you start explaining they're going to ask more questions and then you have to keep talking. It's easier to just say yeah, I cut my hair when they catch me with my weave out. No one ever says anything once it's long again though. :confused: I never feel like explaining because then it turns into... Really? That's not your hair? Well how did you put it in? Well how much did it cost? Well where does your real hair stop and the fake hair start? And that's just TMI. I don't feel like explaining all that mess. Yes it's my hair. lol Even though I paid for it and have the receipt. They don't need to know all that.
 
Yes. I don't feel like black hair care is that big a mystery. Many whites are truly interested about the differences between our hair types. Most conversations I've had with whites about black hair is two sided. They are also want to dispell myths about white hair care-they don't wash everday, they don't wash-n-go, they straighten their hair with a blowdryer daily-and my favorite- she wished she could grow a 'fro.
 
CantBeCopied said:
This morning, a co-worker came in with a crimped water-fall phony pony. She usually wears her hair in a flat-ironed wrap style so, the phony pony was quite a different look for her.

Well, all the whyte folx were commenting on the ponytail, you know..."OH! How'd you DO that?" "WOW! That is so NEAT!" "HEY! Is that your hair?" "Lord, Ja'Marah, what is THAT?!" etc.

So, she proceeds to explain to a rapt audience of lily-whyte folx that the pony is fake hair; she just added it this morning 'cause she was "bored"; it's just a change of pace; she'll be taking it down tonight; she only put it on cause she needs a relaxer; yada yada yada....

Then, as if that wasn't complete enough dissertation for these nosy ass folx, she proceeds to explain that she needs a relaxer and that "all my hair underneath this ponytail is ROUGH. I only relax once a month but if I do not, then it won't all be straight, it will be rough at the roots and straight on the ends...." To which the fascinated white folx cooed "woooooooooow". I don't even really think the actually gave a crap about her phony pony, her new growth or her relaxing habits but, because they were so at a loss for words, she just kept talking. :huh:

I wanted to throw up. :barf: Do you feel you owe white folx an explanation about what is going on with your wig? :cool:
Click to expand...

Now that is just to funny. (Bold and in red!)

They are always curious about our hair. Most times I dont mind but it all depends on how I am asked and who is asking!
 
I have explained my hair to white people before.

One time at work, I wore my hair in a shrunken puff. The day before, I had it in a stretched out puff which made it look longer.

This white guy came by and said 'did you cut your hair?'

I said 'no, I just washed it. Whenever I wash it, it shrinks up.'

He said 'oh, neat!'
 
Exactly! I was reading and when I got to that I couldnt move! Her hair WONT CONTINUE to be rough at the roots much longer because it will be GONE.

Hmm....I'm the only speck of color on my team at work and when I wore my falls they asked a couple of questions on it but I wasnt about to sit them down and open up a class on Hair Falls 101 for them. I kept the answers short and to the point and gave the look like..."lets get on with this meeting!"

JLove74 said:
I'm mad that she only relaxes her hair "Once a month...."......
Click to expand...
 
I have explained it before. Most of the time I do not mind. I consider these opportunities as "teachable moments" so that they can comprehend that what they see on TV about Black folk is not the be all to end all of the community.

I'm a curious person as well, and if the curiousity is sincere, I'll engage....

And this is not only about hair, but also about food, economics, religion, politics, education, etc. I'll go right there with 'em. I'm a real trip when I'm in the grad school classroom and the "liberal" white folk get to talkin'.... I have shut a couple of them down real quick.... (Notice how my language changed 'cause I'm getting a little heated when I think about those convos.... Hmph!:ohwell: )
 
If I didn't ask questions of the black girls at work I wouldn't have joined this forum to share the things I know and to learn more from all of you.
 
I don't really. My co-worker (a guy) asked about a girl here that is always frying, dyeing and laying her hair to the side, weaving, braiding and everything else. He was wondering how she does that. I told him how braid extension are out in and how sew ins are done. he just seemed curious.

I have had them comment about my hair growing, though.

My sweetie has learned a lot about black hair and I Do explain things to him. One funny thing is that one time he was playing in my hair and then asked "What's that?" I felt my scalp and it was about 1/2 inch of newgrowth he was feeling! It was so funny because I did not realize that someone may wonder about something like that.
 
White folx used to comment on my hair alot when I use to wear long ponytails or french braids. I don't think I ever tried to give out any details because it would just be a waste of my time. No matter if I talked to them for 3 minutes or 30 mintues about it, all they would wind up getting in the end is that all of it wasn't my hair.
 
I talk about hair with one of my close friends who is white a lot and about two weeks ago I told her I was going to stop relaxing. She is jewish and has that jewish curly hair 2C/3A thing going so she relaxes also. When I told her I was going to stop relaxing she looked at me like I was crazy and said "so your going to wear your hair curly? It's not worth it to me, I'd just keep it straight". When I told her I was going to wear it curly she told me I was crazy and that I'd regret it and relax again because NO ONE can deal with curly hair. I just looked at her and changed the subject. I mean what do you say to that?
 
I get this A LOT because I'm always changing up from braid extensions to twist-outs to phony ponys to whatever and they always want to know "How'd you DO that?" And yes, I feel the need to give some kind of explanation because otherwise what would you say? Noneya daggone business? You have to say something so I try to keep it short, no details, but I still resent having to explain it. They don't explain their hair.

It's funny how we all go though the same stuff.
 
HoneyDew said:
My sweetie has learned a lot about black hair and I Do explain things to him. One funny thing is that one time he was playing in my hair and then asked "What's that?" I felt my scalp and it was about 1/2 inch of newgrowth he was feeling! It was so funny because I did not realize that someone may wonder about something like that.
Click to expand...


That's cute. That never occurred to me either. :p
 
MissFallon said:
I talk about hair with one of my close friends who is white a lot and about two weeks ago I told her I was going to stop relaxing. She is jewish and has that jewish curly hair 2C/3A thing going so she relaxes also. When I told her I was going to stop relaxing she looked at me like I was crazy and said "so your going to wear your hair curly? It's not worth it to me, I'd just keep it straight". When I told her I was going to wear it curly she told me I was crazy and that I'd regret it and relax again because NO ONE can deal with curly hair. I just looked at her and changed the subject. I mean what do you say to that?
Click to expand...


Girl, I'd be like, ":ohwell: " :look: :lol:
 
I don't mind talking about my hair at all. If they ask me a question, I answer and if I have a question about theirs, I'll ask them. Last year, I got a sl weave sewn into my ear length strands. Most people, black and white, knew it was weave, so if anybody asked me, I would just tell them it was and keep it moving.

I actually have a harder time being honest about some of my hair care practices to my bf than I have with white women. Most of them have the same gripes about their hair as we do.
 
If I do, I usually avoid saying negative things about my hair, because I don't want to perpetuate the black hair is bad hair philosophy. I talk about my hair and how it is different from their hair, but I make sure they know I am cool with the differences.

And if I have to say anything even remotely negative, I put it in terms of what my hair likes and doesn't like, not in terms of what I like and don't like. I was hanging out with some White and Asian girlfriends at a spa, and we were washing our hair, and they were wondering, so I explained that my hair likes to be washed in sections, otherwise it will show its displeasure by getting all tangled up. And my hair likes big tooth combs, not those tiny combs, that my hair laughs at them. :)
 
Jessy55 said:
If I do, I usually avoid saying negative things about my hair, because I don't want to perpetuate the black hair is bad hair philosophy. I talk about my hair and how it is different from their hair, but I make sure they know I am cool with the differences.

And if I have to say anything even remotely negative, I put it in terms of what my hair likes and doesn't like, not in terms of what I like and don't like. I was hanging out with some White and Asian girlfriends at a spa, and we were washing our hair, and they were wondering, so I explained that my hair likes to be washed in sections, otherwise it will show its displeasure by getting all tangled up. And my hair likes big tooth combs, not those tiny combs, that my hair laughs at them. :)
Click to expand...



Love this!
 
I don't tell them jack diddly squat. We know so much about them, from what they feed their dogs, to what they put on their feet, and they know so little about us. They only know what they see in videos and on the news, and we are soooo much more than that.

We know everything about them because they are REPRESENTED all over television, radio, movies etc. The only time you see us in a Tide commercial is during the NAACP Image Awards or some other show like that. When it comes to Black folk, white folks are clueless. I'm not trying to educate them either--it's too late, and I am way too tired of some of them to take up time with a big project like that!

CantBeCopied said:
This morning, a co-worker came in with a crimped water-fall phony pony. She usually wears her hair in a flat-ironed wrap style so, the phony pony was quite a different look for her.

Well, all the whyte folx were commenting on the ponytail, you know..."OH! How'd you DO that?" "WOW! That is so NEAT!" "HEY! Is that your hair?" "Lord, Ja'Marah, what is THAT?!" etc.

So, she proceeds to explain to a rapt audience of lily-whyte folx that the pony is fake hair; she just added it this morning 'cause she was "bored"; it's just a change of pace; she'll be taking it down tonight; she only put it on cause she needs a relaxer; yada yada yada....

Then, as if that wasn't complete enough dissertation for these nosy ass folx, she proceeds to explain that she needs a relaxer and that "all my hair underneath this ponytail is ROUGH. I only relax once a month but if I do not, then it won't all be straight, it will be rough at the roots and straight on the ends...." To which the fascinated white folx cooed "woooooooooow". I don't even really think the actually gave a crap about her phony pony, her new growth or her relaxing habits but, because they were so at a loss for words, she just kept talking. :huh:

I wanted to throw up. :barf: Do you feel you owe white folx an explanation about what is going on with your wig? :cool:
Click to expand...
 
FeelinIt said:
Okay Imma be the bad one here but....

You don't want other races to have preconcieved notions about your hair, but then when they ask questions, that's a problem?

I don't get it. I get the annoyance factor, you know the multitude of questions, but I don't get the overall problem.

There are people who think people who wear dreadlocks don't wash their hair. This is coming from black people. There are black people who think you can't get a job wearing your hair natural.

I guess I see this as an opportunity to explain the differences in our hair and teach them instead of giving them the stereotypical "sista with a bad attitude" deal. I know I'm generalizing a bit but you get what I'm saying.
Click to expand...


And, that is fine. :) That is why I asked the question. I am asking You what You do? Do you explain your hair to whyte folx? I, on the other hand, do not stand and explain that my hair is nappy and needs to be chemically straightened out once a month otherwise I must start wearing a fake ponytail to HIDE the nappy part. (of course, she used the word, "rough" and not "nappy" but the idea is the same).

I don't have a problem with a white person ASKING. However, I will not highlight the natural characteristics about my hair that I have a problem with to a white person. You may feel differently and are more comfortable with explaining this sort of thing. That's why the thread.

Everyone is welcome to post whether they do or dont and their reasons. I am in here learning. It did irritate me, I am not going to lie, but I may be missing the point.
 
I actually enjoy talking about hair with yt people. We tend to learn a lot from each other.

For example, I was chatting with this one red haired girl (her hair was GORGEOUS!) and she revealed to me that her hair was curly. I had no idea. She told me about what type of flat iron she uses and everything. Come to find out it is the same flat iron that is popular around here!

I'm surprised at how many yt females have heavily textured hair, many just flat iron or blowdry straight daily. I've heard a few say that sleeping in a scarf helps straighten the hair. Sound familiar?

When yt people ask me about my hair, I love to explain, as long as they aren't being rude, which I've come across. Our hair isn't as different as we think.
 
redRiot said:
I actually enjoy talking about hair with yt people. We tend to learn a lot from each other.

For example, I was chatting with this one red haired girl (her hair was GORGEOUS!) and she revealed to me that her hair was curly. I had no idea. She told me about what type of flat iron she uses and everything. Come to find out it is the same flat iron that is popular around here!

I'm surprised at how many yt females have heavily textured hair, many just flat iron or blowdry straight daily. I've heard a few say that sleeping in a scarf helps straighten the hair. Sound familiar?

When yt people ask me about my hair, I love to explain, as long as they aren't being rude, which I've come across. Our hair isn't as different as we think.
Click to expand...


Now THAT....I never knew! :eek: (eta: I mean, I never knew they were using head scarves at night too!)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

J
How often do you wear your hair in a ponytail
Replies
26
Views
5K
gradygirl
G
determined_to_grow
how do you wear your hair for work?
2
Replies
33
Views
4K
LovelyZ
LovelyZ
jtsupanova
*Spinoff* Texlaxers/Texturizers how do you wear your hair everyday?!
Replies
14
Views
1K
HollyGolightly1982
HollyGolightly1982
Shea
"you need a perm, when you gonna get your hair done"
2
Replies
48
Views
5K
Treasure2k6
Treasure2k6
MissFallon
Co-Washers: How do you dry your hair?
Replies
2
Views
900
Sweet_Ambrosia
Sweet_Ambrosia
Back
Top