I am soo mad right now!!

[Chameleonchick]

So today I decided to make dh's favorite meal pupusas. I have never made them before and I tried to do them by memory from watching his family make them. They weren't the best but he was very happy that I made them. So later on I tell him that I need to take my hair down since I have so much hair stuff that I want to use. I don't want this stuff to go bad it mostly natural stuff that I would like to try.

Well anyways all of sudden like maybe a second after I said that his whole mood changed and then he started talking about how I'm going to look bald headed. Basically he rather me wear weave than wear my own hair. He told me with this added hair I look like myself again. Here I am getting complements from people in the street that I don't even know when I was wearing my newly big chopped hair but my own husband just has to be the one that is going to be the mood killer.

What would you do in a situation like this? This type of stuff really pisses me off. I did my own hair so its not like money is going down the drain. Trust me more money would go down the drain from my pjism if these products go bad.

 

[pookaloo83]

OP, I would be mad too. The first person you would want liking and admiring your hair is your spouse. And for him to make comments like that it must hurt. I remember when I first went natural DH didn't mind. He liked it. At least I assumed. And then when I relaxed it a couple years later, he was like 'Now this is how I remember you. I like it like this!' In my head I was like 'Dang! So all this time you didn't like me natural?' He's like 'Nah! I didn't say that!' I'm transitiong now, and I'm staying this way. You have to do what's best for YOU and YOUR hair. I learned the hard way. Got all kind of patches in my head from this damn relaxer. This time I'm doing what's best for me.

Once it gets longer, he'll come around to liking it.

 

[Chameleonchick]

That happened to me too when I transitioned the last time. Got to 8 1/2 months post and when he came home on leave from deployment he talked me into getting a relaxer. Afterwards when I thought about it I was like why did I do that when he was only going to be home for three weeks.

 

[blkgurl2008]

That same thing happened to me today. I was with my bf and his friend .they r both middle eastern andmy bf has thick shiny hair. Today he wore a hat. When I tried to take it off of him,saying he has beautiful thick hair, he said I only think that cuz I don't have any. My hair is apl but I was wearing a wsl weave. Hos friend looked puzzled and I stood there shocked. I know he was kidding but I'm soo mad LOL. So I feel ur pain

 

[pookaloo83]

That same thing happened to me today. I was with my bf and his friend .they r both middle eastern andmy bf has thick shiny hair. Today he wore a hat. When I tried to take it off of him,saying he has beautiful thick hair, he said I only think that cuz I don't have any. My hair is apl but I was wearing a wsl weave. Hos friend looked puzzled and I stood there shocked. I know he was kidding but I'm soo mad LOL. So I feel ur pain

Wow. That was mean.

 

[DigitalRain]

That same thing happened to me today. I was with my bf and his friend .they r both middle eastern andmy bf has thick shiny hair. Today he wore a hat. When I tried to take it off of him,saying he has beautiful thick hair, he said I only think that cuz I don't have any. My hair is apl but I was wearing a wsl weave. Hos friend looked puzzled and I stood there shocked. I know he was kidding but I'm soo mad LOL. So I feel ur pain

Wow. I wonder if he felt like a dumbass after making that insult.

 

[Chameleonchick]

That is mean blkgurl, especially if it was in front of other people.

 

[Eritreladiee]

That same thing happened to me today. I was with my bf and his friend .they r both middle eastern andmy bf has thick shiny hair. Today he wore a hat. When I tried to take it off of him,saying he has beautiful thick hair, he said I only think that cuz I don't have any. My hair is apl but I was wearing a wsl weave. Hos friend looked puzzled and I stood there shocked. I know he was kidding but I'm soo mad LOL. So I feel ur pain

Does he know your hair is APL or are you usually wearing weave or something?? Anyways, that's cold

 

[brianna-alyssa]

IGNORE HIM! He just needs to get used to it because, I'm sure your newly natural hair is here to stay! That sounds too annoying. Sounds like my mom...

 

[Eritreladiee]

I know your mad chameleonchick... But I just noticed and wanted to point out that tomorrow is your one month natural anniversary (yay 4 u- happy times!)

 

[Fhrizzball]

Maybe he feels that you're spending more time on your hair than him? Don't really know but he'll be changing his tune soon enough. Just googled what pupusas are and they sound and look delicious!

Happy early nat'ralversary!

 

[sheba1]

Unpopular opinion alert: I don't think you should be mad at him. If he's telling you how he feels about something then that is a good thing. It gives the two of you an opportunity to discuss and compromise and move forward with a common vision.

From my experience, I think men just dislike change... and it's hard, because we, as women, change A LOT. hahaha Continue to keep the lines of communication open and include him in your journey. Easier said than done, I know but don't shut him out.