I have a crush...

[BeautifulFlower]

Hmm.. I'll have to think about better ways of letting guys know I'm open to hanging out in a way that doesn't come off as brazen. Recently I was getting desperate for a social life and asked a guy to be my friend (yes I said "you should be my friend" ). That's actually worked out because now he and his friends call me all the type to hang out and I have somethin of a love triangle going on now...

True .. at some point he's either into you or he isn't and yea it might suck if he turns out not to be, but never showing your cards is just gonna prolong the process and keep you in limbo.

Hehe...of course you dont have to say it like that. I can be cute and endearing when I say the wildest things to people so they take it serious but dont think am being pushy. You have to use discretion in your words of course with each individual guy. But you see, you told him that you want to be around him (in your own words of course) and now he asks you out more. It works!

Some guys just need the extra influence to have the confidence to know when its ok to ask you out.

 

[aribell]

Maybe not, but us ladies aren't built like women past either lol.. a lot of us want to have our cake and eat it too lol..

Hmm...I think I know what you mean, but care to explain a little bit more?

 

[Raspberry]

Hehe...of course you dont have to say it like that. I can be cute and endearing when I say the wildest things to people so they take it serious but dont think am being pushy. You have to use discretion in your words of course with each individual guy. But you see, you told him that you want to be around him (in your own words of course) and now he asks you out more. It works!

Some guys just need the extra influence to have the confidence to know when its ok to ask you out.

lol! I didn't mean that your approach was brazen, just that when I try to say similar things I have to think ahead of time or I come off as real bold , I'm better at being straight-forward, not always good with being subtle with men.

You're right - a lot of men do need some encouragement in making a move.. My problem is, the guy I asked to be my friend (guy #1) I really wanted to be friends with.. it's his friend (guy #2) who I'm really interested in. What's weird is guy #2 started calling me a lot more than guy #1 to hang out. However, now guy #1 has been giving me strong signals that he's interested and I think that may be making guy #2 back off . Not sure how to handle this since I usually hang out with both guys together...

 

[BeautifulFlower]

lol! I didn't mean that your approach was brazen, just that when I try to say similar things I have to think ahead of time or I come off as real bold , I'm better at being straight-forward, not always good with being subtle with men.

You're right - a lot of men do need some encouragement in making a move.. My problem is, the guy I asked to be my friend (guy #1) I really wanted to be friends with.. it's his friend (guy #2) who I'm really interested in. What's weird is guy #2 started calling me a lot more than guy #1 to hang out. However, now guy #1 has been giving me strong signals that he's interested and I think that may be making guy #2 back off . Not sure how to handle this since I usually hang out with both guys together...

The draw backs to every method.

 

[inthepink]

YAY FOR YOU!


You know I was just thinking about this pursuing thing. The last guy I told you all about that I was interested in but am no longer (not shortie, another guy) is asking me out quite a bit now. Sucks that I am not interested anymore but I still go and have a good time. I am certain the only reason he does ask me to good wherever with him (we went to the zoo this weekend, had a blast) is because I gave him the OK to ask me out often. I literally said to him, "I have fun with you. You should ask me out more often." I left it at that. I dont ask him out and I let him make the moves. And HE DOES. He asked me out 3 times since and I gone out 2 times with him. I know he is the kind of guy that would not ask him out on his own because he times I am high maintenance. But because he knows that I would say yes, he does ask.

Maybe more ladies would have more opportunities to get to know someone if they just let a guy know that, "Hey, its ok to ask me out because I like to have fun and I like being around you." If he doesnt ask anymore, well at least you know he's just not that into you and you can stop wondering how he feels. But if he does, then you'll never know what happens.

Pretty - What is the purpose of continuing to go out with someone you're not interested in? I'm not saying you're doing something wrong but I am just trying to understand. Also, would this give the wrong impression to someone else who may be checking you out?

 

[BeautifulFlower]

Pretty - What is the purpose of continuing to go out with someone you're not interested in? I'm not saying you're doing something wrong but I am just trying to understand. Also, would this give the wrong impression to someone else who may be checking you out?

Well, this is the method to my madness. Not saying its right but its me I guess.

I never expressed interest in him in the first place. He hasnt expressed that either. We dont go on 'dates', we 'hang out'. Just casual, plantonic friend hanging out vibe. Even if we do something that requires me looking my absolute best. Not expressing interest leaves things open for you to make a decision about the person. This is how I prefer it. If you give them the friend vibe, they are more real with you and you can see whats really up at a faster rate. Boy, have I seen some real mess....

Now if he expressed interest and I lost interest, it would be a different story. I would avoid him like the plague.

If he does begin to express interest, I'd see if he'd be willing to make some mental adjustments about things he 'believes' about relationships. If not (I dont seek to change anyone), I make it known I want to be his friend because our differences are too extreme.

 

[inthepink]

Well, this is the method to my madness. Not saying its right but its me I guess.

I never expressed interest in him in the first place. He hasnt expressed that either. We dont go on 'dates', we 'hang out'. Just casual, plantonic friend hanging out vibe. Even if we do something that requires me looking my absolute best. Not expressing interest leaves things open for you to make a decision about the person. This is how I prefer it. If you give them the friend vibe, they are more real with you and you can see whats really up at a faster rate. Boy, have I seen some real mess....

Now if he expressed interest and I lost interest, it would be a different story. I would avoid him like the plague.

If he does begin to express interest, I'd see if he'd be willing to make some mental adjustments about things he 'believes' about relationships. If not (I dont seek to change anyone), I make it known I want to be his friend because our differences are too extreme.

Ok, as long as you know what you're doing is what matters!

Me - I am clueless! We'll see what happens in the future b/c I will hanging on a wing and a prayer with lack of experience.

I do have a personal philosophy on male friends. So, it is something I will have to navigate person by person, I suppose.

 

[Raspberry]

Hmm...I think I know what you mean, but care to explain a little bit more?

I kind of feel for some Christian men nowadays because it's easy for the ladies to criticize them for not taking as much initiative as men did in the past but most of us are not the same women as those in the past either. Yes men were considered natural leaders, but women were usually expected to be submissive, to earn less, and have limited social roles outside the home and in church.

Both young men and women today are products of a generation that is used to women and men having equal financial and social footing. We are also the fruit of culture that labeled much of what we consider natural male roles and attitudes to be patriarchal oppression. I don't think it's fair to expect men to embrace the strong roles of the past without acknowledging the cultural shifts that have molded their upbringing. Men nowadays get incredibly mixed messages about masculinity and their roles in society. Yes men were considered natural leaders "back in the day", but women were usually expected to be submissive, to earn less, and have limited roles outside the home. Some women wouldn't mind going back there but a lot of us have to be honest about how much we value our social and financial autonomy in this culture.

I don't think the answer to male conduct lies in going back to cultural norms of the past, but rather learning to cleave to what is biblical rather than 50s' era nostalgia...God's word transcends culture and lays the foundation for healthy relationships of all types..

 

[BeautifulFlower]

I kind of feel for some Christian men nowadays because it's easy for the ladies to criticize them for not taking as much initiative as men did in the past but most of us are not the same women as those in the past either. Yes men were considered natural leaders, but women were usually expected to be submissive, to earn less, and have limited social roles outside the home and in church.

Both young men and women today are products of a generation that is used to women and men having equal financial and social footing. We are also the fruit of culture that labeled much of what we consider natural male roles and attitudes to be patriarchal oppression. I don't think it's fair to expect men to embrace the strong roles of the past without acknowledging the cultural shifts that have molded their upbringing. Men nowadays get incredibly mixed messages about masculinity and their roles in society. Yes men were considered natural leaders "back in the day", but women were usually expected to be submissive, to earn less, and have limited roles outside the home. Some women wouldn't mind going back there but a lot of us have to be honest about how much we value our social and financial autonomy in this culture.

I don't think the answer to male conduct lies in going back to cultural norms of the past, but rather learning to cleave to what is biblical rather than 50s' era nostalgia...God's word transcends culture and lays the foundation for healthy relationships of all types..

This is a great explanation. Mark Driscoll onced said we seek to go to earlier eras of time and though those times appear 'godlier' than now they actually arent. We must to apply the word of to our time. We have to the consider that the bible was written within a culture and time different from us. But dont let our culture be an excuse to not do what God says. Rather contextual the scripture but do not sin.

I am not welling to give up my financial autonomy. I can be submissive but it doesnt come so natural for me. I dont need a man for anything but love and companionship and I get alot of that from family & friends (of course, there's a difference). So I admit, I too must adjust to the times and follow God's word while being who I am.

 

[aribell]

I kind of feel for some Christian men nowadays because it's easy for the ladies to criticize them for not taking as much initiative as men did in the past but most of us are not the same women as those in the past either. Yes men were considered natural leaders, but women were usually expected to be submissive, to earn less, and have limited social roles outside the home and in church.

Both young men and women today are products of a generation that is used to women and men having equal financial and social footing. We are also the fruit of culture that labeled much of what we consider natural male roles and attitudes to be patriarchal oppression. I don't think it's fair to expect men to embrace the strong roles of the past without acknowledging the cultural shifts that have molded their upbringing. Men nowadays get incredibly mixed messages about masculinity and their roles in society. Yes men were considered natural leaders "back in the day", but women were usually expected to be submissive, to earn less, and have limited roles outside the home. Some women wouldn't mind going back there but a lot of us have to be honest about how much we value our social and financial autonomy in this culture.

Ah, yes...you mean this? I expect him to know that I am as smart (if not smarter) than him, but he still has to have something over me in some way so that I can look up to him and follow him. He must initiate dates and pay for everything even though I may make just as much if not more money than he does. I may be dating a slew of various men and will be encouraged to do so, but if he does not show that he only has intentions toward me, he isn't serious enough. If he breaks my heart, it is because he is not godly enough; if I break his, it was misfortune and couldn't be avoided...he probably didn't deserve me anyway.

I want him to respect me enough to support me emotionally and financially through pursuing higher education and a career, but should I decide that I want to stay home, he should delight in being the sole breadwinner. But under no circumstances should he indicate that he doesn't want me to pursue a career. He must love my strengths, but give me complete permission not to exercise them.

In the workplace, he has to accept me as his boss, to know that I, as a woman, am just as competent at leading an entire organization as he is, but in the home, if he defers to my sound judgment, he's not wearing the pants and is less of a man. And, he has to know that even if I go and get a Ph.D in Theology and an M.Div, and minister all over the church, and he's only attended Sunday school his whole life, that he has to be able to guide me spiritually, too, even while I'm telling him that his interpretation of that Bible passage isn't consistent with the original Greek!

 

[Raspberry]

This is a great explanation. Mark Driscoll onced said we seek to go to earlier eras of time and though those times appear 'godlier' than now they actually arent. We must to apply the word of to our time. We have to the consider that the bible was written within a culture and time different from us. But dont let our culture be an excuse to not do what God says. Rather contextual the scripture but do not sin.

I agree .. I need to check out Mark Driscoll, I've seen him mentioned a few times on this forum and his philosophy on men and relationships seems very interesting.

Ah, yes...you mean this? I expect him to know that I am as smart (if not smarter) than him, but he still has to have something over me in some way so that I can look up to him and follow him. He must initiate dates and pay for everything even though I may make just as much if not more money than he does. I may be dating a slew of various men and will be encouraged to do so, but if he does not show that he only has intentions toward me, he isn't serious enough. If he breaks my heart, it is because he is not godly enough; if I break his, it was misfortune and couldn't be avoided...he probably didn't deserve me anyway.

I want him to respect me enough to support me emotionally and financially through pursuing higher education and a career, but should I decide that I want to stay home, he should delight in being the sole breadwinner. But under no circumstances should he indicate that he doesn't want me to pursue a career. He must love my strengths, but give me complete permission not to exercise them.

In the workplace, he has to accept me as his boss, to know that I, as a woman, am just as competent at leading an entire organization as he is, but in the home, if he defers to my sound judgment, he's not wearing the pants and is less of a man. And, he has to know that even if I go and get a Ph.D in Theology and an M.Div, and minister all over the church, and he's only attended Sunday school his whole life, that he has to be able to guide me spiritually, too, even while I'm telling him that his interpretation of that Bible passage isn't consistent with the original Greek!

I mean really.. can we put this on a t-shirt??

You know Jesus is coming back soon because a lot of His children can barely get it together enough to hold hands...

 

[BeautifulFlower]

Ah, yes...you mean this? I expect him to know that I am as smart (if not smarter) than him, but he still has to have something over me in some way so that I can look up to him and follow him. He must initiate dates and pay for everything even though I may make just as much if not more money than he does. I may be dating a slew of various men and will be encouraged to do so, but if he does not show that he only has intentions toward me, he isn't serious enough. If he breaks my heart, it is because he is not godly enough; if I break his, it was misfortune and couldn't be avoided...he probably didn't deserve me anyway.

I want him to respect me enough to support me emotionally and financially through pursuing higher education and a career, but should I decide that I want to stay home, he should delight in being the sole breadwinner. But under no circumstances should he indicate that he doesn't want me to pursue a career. He must love my strengths, but give me complete permission not to exercise them.

In the workplace, he has to accept me as his boss, to know that I, as a woman, am just as competent at leading an entire organization as he is, but in the home, if he defers to my sound judgment, he's not wearing the pants and is less of a man. And, he has to know that even if I go and get a Ph.D in Theology and an M.Div, and minister all over the church, and he's only attended Sunday school his whole life, that he has to be able to guide me spiritually, too, even while I'm telling him that his interpretation of that Bible passage isn't consistent with the original Greek!

Not saying this isnt possible or realistic but...he'd need to be a very special guy to get this in one man like Jesus himself.

 

[BeautifulFlower]

I agree .. I need to check out Mark Driscoll, I've seen him mentioned a few times on this forum and his philosophy on men and relationships seems very interesting.

Driscoll is that dude. Love him. I am traveling to Greece/Israel with his church in August. I am super excited to meet him.

 

[inthepink]

In the workplace, he has to accept me as his boss, to know that I, as a woman, am just as competent at leading an entire organization as he is, but in the home, if he defers to my sound judgment, he's not wearing the pants and is less of a man. And, he has to know that even if I go and get a Ph.D in Theology and an M.Div, and minister all over the church, and he's only attended Sunday school his whole life, that he has to be able to guide me spiritually, too, even while I'm telling him that his interpretation of that Bible passage isn't consistent with the original Greek!

Wow, hon, that is a lot. It is going to take a special man and hope you find him!

 

[aribell]

Not saying this isnt possible or realistic but...he'd need to be a very special guy to get this in one man like Jesus himself.

Wow, hon, that is a lot. It is going to take a special man and hope you find him!

Well, you know, what the Lord's will is is what will be, without a doubt! But, I do think that we have to be more flexible in our image of how things will play out, since I don't think the scenario I created above leads to very fair or realistic expectations of men. I'm not ready to say what that means, but I am growing more sympathetic toward the men of this generation who, it seems, must bend to however a woman chooses to define herself and adapt to whatever that expression happens to be.

I have a good male friend who is a Christian with a really quality heart, but he does complain that women flip flop around with this stuff to their advantage. He's called me out at least once when I was calling on old-fashioned norms to get out of something I didn't want to do, but then using modern thought to get what I wanted in other areas.

 

[inthepink]

Well, you know, what the Lord's will is is what will be, without a doubt! But, I do think that we have to be more flexible in our image of how things will play out, since I don't think the scenario I created above leads to very fair or realistic expectations of men. I'm not ready to say what that means, but I am growing more sympathetic toward the men of this generation who, it seems, must bend to however a woman chooses to define herself and adapt to whatever that expression happens to be.

I have a good male friend who is a Christian with a really quality heart, but he does complain that women flip flop around with this stuff to their advantage. He's called me out at least once when I was calling on old-fashioned norms to get out of something I didn't want to do, but then using modern thought to get what I wanted in other areas.

This is something to keep in mind. Thanks for bringing it to our attention! I will have to watch myself in regards to this.

 

[BeautifulFlower]

Update!

God listens to heartfelt prayers. Tis all!

 

[Butterfly08]

Update!

God lessons to heartfelt prayers. Tis all!

Girl you know you can't leave it at that.

 

[BeautifulFlower]

Girl you know you can't leave it at that.

Hehehehe....I meant listens....

To make a long story short:

On June 1, I wrote in my journal everything I'd like to see in my future husband. It is a pretty extensive list but I am welling to sacrifice some things for greater qualities.

On June 9, I prayed a heartfelt prayer to God that I could meet my future husband and begin to be his friend. I didnt require any grand suggestion that he would do, just maybe a little hint of something. I just wanted to really start to get to know him, build a bond, etc...

On June 12, after my sister's wedding in Mexico (incredible ceremony BTW), my sister's husband's best friend expressed a strong desire to pursue me. Definitely took me by left field.

He is SOOOOO incredible. My family LOVES him. My sisters and mom LOVE him. I am in awe of God. Him and I have expressed our feelings to one another but we also have a BIG challenge in front of us. We can not go public with our interest in each other just yet until we make things official. Because of the make up of interdependent relationship between everyone, if we dont work, it could destroy relationships. Relationships and family closeness and love are SOO important in my family. And before we make it official, we decided to consult my sister and husband on their thoughts and blessings because this will effect them as well. His relationship with his best friend and my sister means the world to him and he doesnt want to jeopordize that should something go wrong. He lives in a different state (2hrs away) from me but is willing to travel/drive to see me when time permits. He's looking for a wife and he believes I have great potential so we shall see.

Anyway, please keep me lifted in prayer because it is a tough situation. I needed to share this with someone because I cant share it with anyone now unfortunately. I have to remain calm and quiet and not let me feelings run to far ahead of me. I like him alot though and he digs me mucho grande too. We shared some great moments on vacation together and I am still blushing about it. :blush3:

 

[Evolving78]

Of course pray that your heart will be in the right place and covered emotionally, but also find ways to hang out with this guy in groups so you can get a good handle on his everyday personality.

It's easy to fall head over heels for a spiritual guy in a church setting - because it's definitely a turn-on to see a man humbly walking with the Lord, but remember he's still a person with quirks, great qualities and not so great ones that may get on your nerves lol. If you interact with him around his family and friends and not just in church you'll get more of a balanced picture of him.

you hit that right on the nail!

 

[preciouzone]

I will definitely keep you in my prayers. No matter where this leads, we know that all things will work out together for all of you guys good! Romans 8:28

Hehehehe....I meant listens....

To make a long story short:

On June 1, I wrote in my journal everything I'd like to see in my future husband. It is a pretty extensive list but I am welling to sacrifice some things for greater qualities.

On June 9, I prayed a heartfelt prayer to God that I could meet my future husband and begin to be his friend. I didnt require any grand suggestion that he would do, just maybe a little hint of something. I just wanted to really start to get to know him, build a bond, etc...

On June 12, after my sister's wedding in Mexico (incredible ceremony BTW), my sister's husband's best friend expressed a strong desire to pursue me. Definitely took me by left field.

He is SOOOOO incredible. My family LOVES him. My sisters and mom LOVE him. I am in awe of God. Him and I have expressed our feelings to one another but we also have a BIG challenge in front of us. We can not go public with our interest in each other just yet until we make things official. Because of the make up of interdependent relationship between everyone, if we dont work, it could destroy relationships. Relationships and family closeness and love are SOO important in my family. And before we make it official, we decided to consult my sister and husband on their thoughts and blessings because this will effect them as well. His relationship with his best friend and my sister means the world to him and he doesnt want to jeopordize that should something go wrong. He lives in a different state (2hrs away) from me but is willing to travel/drive to see me when time permits. He's looking for a wife and he believes I have great potential so we shall see.

Anyway, please keep me lifted in prayer because it is a tough situation. I needed to share this with someone because I cant share it with anyone now unfortunately. I have to remain calm and quiet and not let me feelings run to far ahead of me. I like him alot though and he digs me mucho grande too. We shared some great moments on vacation together and I am still blushing about it. :blush3:

 

[music-bnatural-smile]

hey woman, we will talk about this dude later... aint nothin wrong with the vertically challenged lol. i must say tho, my last psychopath was my height... he had short man's syndrome lol

 

[aribell]

Hehehehe....I meant listens....

To make a long story short:

On June 1, I wrote in my journal everything I'd like to see in my future husband. It is a pretty extensive list but I am welling to sacrifice some things for greater qualities.

On June 9, I prayed a heartfelt prayer to God that I could meet my future husband and begin to be his friend. I didnt require any grand suggestion that he would do, just maybe a little hint of something. I just wanted to really start to get to know him, build a bond, etc...

On June 12, after my sister's wedding in Mexico (incredible ceremony BTW), my sister's husband's best friend expressed a strong desire to pursue me. Definitely took me by left field.

He is SOOOOO incredible. My family LOVES him. My sisters and mom LOVE him. I am in awe of God. Him and I have expressed our feelings to one another but we also have a BIG challenge in front of us. We can not go public with our interest in each other just yet until we make things official. Because of the make up of interdependent relationship between everyone, if we dont work, it could destroy relationships. Relationships and family closeness and love are SOO important in my family. And before we make it official, we decided to consult my sister and husband on their thoughts and blessings because this will effect them as well. His relationship with his best friend and my sister means the world to him and he doesnt want to jeopordize that should something go wrong. He lives in a different state (2hrs away) from me but is willing to travel/drive to see me when time permits. He's looking for a wife and he believes I have great potential so we shall see.

Anyway, please keep me lifted in prayer because it is a tough situation. I needed to share this with someone because I cant share it with anyone now unfortunately. I have to remain calm and quiet and not let me feelings run to far ahead of me. I like him alot though and he digs me mucho grande too. We shared some great moments on vacation together and I am still blushing about it. :blush3:

How lovely The Lord is faithful. I pray that you both would be blessed and that He would be glorified.

 

[BeautifulFlower]

I will definitely keep you in my prayers. No matter where this leads, we know that all things will work out together for all of you guys good! Romans 8:28

Thank you. I believe if anything, him and I will be great friends. He's an amazing guy really. He definitely deserves to be happy and have a wife that loves him as much as he'll love her.

hey woman, we will talk about this dude later... aint nothin wrong with the vertically challenged lol. i must say tho, my last psychopath was my height... he had short man's syndrome lol

LOL...if you read through the thread I dismissed the short guy and another guy that took me out. This guy was a left-fielder. I thought he was cool but wasnt really attracted to him. Then when I became atttracted to him, I thought he liked someone else. When this happen'd I was like God you're really listening to me arent you...I have to stay in prayer about this.

How lovely The Lord is faithful. I pray that you both would be blessed and that He would be glorified.

Thank you Nicola...I want God to have all the glory for this because to have a guy that meets 90%+ of my 'list' and my family already loves him is a dream come true.

 

[Precious_1]

Yea!!!! this is good news, you know, I have been following your story from the beginning! I hope everything works out for you. This one sounds promising!!!!

 

[Butterfly08]

hey woman, we will talk about this dude later... aint nothin wrong with the vertically challenged lol. i must say tho, my last psychopath was my height... he had short man's syndrome lol

Boo!

Pretty I'm so happy for ya. Take it slow, everything will work out in your favor.

 

[Aviah]

Ok...

I have a crush on this guy. Its weird because its not my typical (physical) type - he's short. Im drawn to him for some reason. I think its his spirit. It exudes such godliness and purity. He treats all his female friends like sisters and boy does he treat them well. Its not a physical or sexual attraction. I know we share the same desire for living pure for God and rules of engagement in courtship. I almost feel like I wouldnt be pure enough for him...Am I being insecure?

I prayed about him last night. I said God, I am probably trippin so if he's not it, distract me. Today, my thoughts/feeling of him kicked into high gear.

What do you do when you have a crush?
(Godly way to manage your feelings)

I find this post SO cute... (Not to patronize in any way I just love hearing about things like this). Not to mention it sounds a LOT like something I went through last year. I kept prayerful about it and just let things progress little by little, telling God all the while "If this man is not my husband, let me know/remove him from me/cut this off right now" (a little strong, but when it comes to God's best for you, we have no time to waste!). Normally I would NEVER advocate vocalizing how you feel, but I found myself between a rock and hard place when he asked me why I didn't want to meet up with him for dinner! ( I was scared like nothing else of letting things progress and wanted to stop getting closer to him). Hopefully you don't have to go through the same crazy experience that I did, but all I can say is be prayerful about it, and continue to seek God, and he will let you know. He sure did for me...

ETA:He's only 5'7" and I was all for tall guys, and this bugged for a while, but in the end who he is was much bigger than many tall guys I have met.

 

[MuseofTroy]

Ok...

I have a crush on this guy. Its weird because its not my typical (physical) type - he's short. Im drawn to him for some reason. I think its his spirit. It exudes such godliness and purity. He treats all his female friends like sisters and boy does he treat them well. Its not a physical or sexual attraction. I know we share the same desire for living pure for God and rules of engagement in courtship. I almost feel like I wouldnt be pure enough for him...Am I being insecure?

I prayed about him last night. I said God, I am probably trippin so if he's not it, distract me. Today, my thoughts/feeling of him kicked into high gear.

What do you do when you have a crush?
(Godly way to manage your feelings)

I would pray to God and ask for guidance on how to approach this situation. Develop a friendship with this individual to see if you guys are equally yoked. You were kind of vague as to why you liked him besides how he treats his female friends. Christians shouldn't be guided with just their emotions, therefore it is important that you get to know his character and WHY you admire him. There is nothing wrong with having a crush on as long as you don't act inappropriate. Afterall we are human beings. Handle yourself with respect and as a Christian woman should. Check your motives and make sure it isn't lust is influencing your admiration of this individual. Bottom line get to know him better so you can understand why you like him.

 

[Supergirl]

I find this post SO cute... (Not to patronize in any way I just love hearing about things like this). Not to mention it sounds a LOT like something I went through last year. I kept prayerful about it and just let things progress little by little, telling God all the while "If this man is not my husband, let me know/remove him from me/cut this off right now" (a little strong, but when it comes to God's best for you, we have no time to waste!). Normally I would NEVER advocate vocalizing how you feel, but I found myself between a rock and hard place when he asked me why I didn't want to meet up with him for dinner! ( I was scared like nothing else of letting things progress and wanted to stop getting closer to him). Hopefully you don't have to go through the same crazy experience that I did, but all I can say is be prayerful about it, and continue to seek God, and he will let you know. He sure did for me...

ETA:He's only 5'7" and I was all for tall guys, and this bugged for a while, but in the end who he is was much bigger than many tall guys I have met.

Whew! You said a mouthful right there.

 

[BeautifulFlower]

What you guys are saying is so true. You shouldnt judge on height or tons of other physical traits. A man with character and integrity is most important. Shallow me I guess...

Oh well, I am sure he wasnt for me anyway. I wanted a man to pursue and he didnt pursue but saw me as a sister in Christ. Thats fine. I shouldnt be dating in church because if it goes bad I know I wont want to go much anymore. I think I'll leave the church men alone.

God (I prayed about this) had sent me someone that is a pursurer. He's kind, truly loving, selfless, affectionate (not just romantically), always concerned about others, a protector, a provider, loves children, doesnt judge, willing to wait etc...I could go on about this guy. I am steady praying about this but I asked God to meet my future husband so I can be his friend and 4 days later he expresses desire to find a wife and that I could be the one. WOW!!!!