I'm starting to regret relaxing my hair

[Rose1]

Update: It's now just over nine months since my last relaxer. I'm still undecided whether to transition or have a very long stretch. I love my hair relaxed, but I'm kind of leaning more towards being natural again, I'll give it a few more months and then decide.

I have been wearing kinky twists with extension and senegalese twists which I keep in for eight to ten week. Although my hair is growing, I only have about 2.5" of new growth since my last relaxer nine months ago. I know everyone's different, but am I a slow grower? I was kind of hoping for a bit more growth. I guess I should be grateful it's growing!

I have been using mainly JBCO mixed with pure coconut oil and EO, and also megatek (when I remember). I bought some emu oil in liquid form (I'll also use it on my skin) and also capsules this week to try. Everytime I wash my hair I make sure that I follow up with a protein and/or moiturising conditioner.

When I took my twists out on Friday, I did not notice any breakage, just shedding where my hair had been hidden for ten weeks. My only real setback is that when I had the senegalese twists done I asked the lady to leave my edges alone, and guess what? She didn't, so some areas of my hairline was a little thinner than usual. It's now picking up again after a lot of babying. I had kinky twist done yesterday, and the lady listened to me this time and left my edges alone!

 

[Yoshi3329]

^^^Thx for the update.

God speed on your journey.

 

[DDTexlaxed]

Yeah, I believe I never gave my natural hair a chance. Great thing is you can always change your mind. That's the best thing about it.

 

[EbonyCPrincess]

I looked quickly through this thread so please forgive me if I'm repeating what others have said. I looked at your product list and most of the deep conditioners contain protein (aphogee, reconstructors, hair mayo) - is your moisture/protein balance off? Protein overload can cause you to experience breakage. If you decide to stay relaxed, I'm sure you can get it in order. If not, you can always transition back - there are SO many women in the same boat or who have done it successfully that you'll practically have a blueprint. Good luck!

 

[Mystic]

I was relaxed, went natural for a few years then relaxed a few months back. Initially I regretted relaxing because it can either be a hit or miss. I was a miss because I couldn't make up my mind on which relaxer is good for my hair type; I was also using a regular relaxer that processed my hair too straight; I relaxed my hair and overlap on the side and got breakage from the root. My hair wasn't looking thick and healthy the way I anticipated so of course I regretted relaxing. However, after finding a good regimen and using the right products that give my hair the best outcome, my hair is thriving and now I have no regrets at all.

As I always say, the beauty about hair is that it is constantly growing from your scalp which gives us the choice to enjoy it in so many different ways. I believe if you find a solid regimen and see your hair thriving you will enjoy your relaxed hair because if you have been natural for 10 yrs (a mile stone), it must have been a very good reason why you decided to relax your hair. Find the right regimen and products that works well for you, (you have a lot!!!) and give the process some time.

 

[Solitude]

Rose1, when you were natural, did you wear your hair out or did you mostly wear braids and extensions? Reading through this thread, it seems like you may have been overwhelmed by caring for your hair while it was not braided up, etc.

If you're going to be wearing extensions, either relaxed or natural, maybe you should do the Crown 'n Glory method. Good luck with your decision! It sounds to me like your hair wasn't moisturized enough as a relaxed head. I think that ORS Olive Oil Moisturizer is trash.

 

[Rose1]

I looked quickly through this thread so please forgive me if I'm repeating what others have said. I looked at your product list and most of the deep conditioners contain protein (aphogee, reconstructors, hair mayo) - is your moisture/protein balance off? Protein overload can cause you to experience breakage. If you decide to stay relaxed, I'm sure you can get it in order. If not, you can always transition back - there are SO many women in the same boat or who have done it successfully that you'll practically have a blueprint. Good luck!

I posted the list of products in January, a lot has changed since then. Some products have been used up in that time, some have been given away as I didn't want to throw them away. I have also tried new products. I try to use things in moderation and not over do it. I always make sure that I'm not using too much protein. The last thing I want is crispy hair!

@Rose1, when you were natural, did you wear your hair out or did you mostly wear braids and extensions? Reading through this thread, it seems like you may have been overwhelmed by caring for your hair while it was not braided up, etc.

If you're going to be wearing extensions, either relaxed or natural, maybe you should do the Crown 'n Glory method. Good luck with your decision! It sounds to me like your hair wasn't moisturized enough as a relaxed head. I think that ORS Olive Oil Moisturizer is trash.

I wore mainly extensions, but during the ten years natural, I also twisted my hair for a good few years without extensions. TBH, I wasn't overwhelmed with caring for my hair when it wasn't braided, I just adjusted my routine to however my hair was/is. Regarding moisturising, my scalp can get dry really so lack of moisture was never an issue. I just make sure I don't over moisturise.

Also, I believe most of the problems with my hair was down to being stressed out due to bereavement and not the products I was using. I think relaxing my hair so soon after the loss of a loved one was not the best idea, but at the time I really wanted a change. I have since been told that stress can cause all sorts of havoc with hair.

 

[lana]

I'm glad that your hair journey is going well. I wanted to comment that stress and grieving can stunt your hair growth completely. I know because it happened to me. My hair was a mess for about 12 months and I finally figured out I should just gently shampoo, deep condition EVERY time I wash and then bun it, no heat, no manipulation and I retained length.

I also wanted to mention that you can Texlax your hair, that is underprocess your new growth on purpose. Don't leave the relaxer on for the full amount of time, don't go for bone straight or even mostly straight hair, just try to relax your texture slightly. I did this and I'm so glad, because now I have the hair of my dreams.

Yes, I still have ups and downs on my hair journey, but the key is finding what works for you. For me, it was simplifying my routine and using a LYE Mizani Relaxer for Texlaxing. Now I only use Keracare and Redken products Shampoo and Conditioner. I use Mane & Tail Conditioner as a leave in because it works to help me retain length. Low heat, low manipulation.

I also learned early on, not to ever wrap my hair. Instead I use Flexirods to roll the hair after straightening. Now I have thick hair and lots of length. Wrapping was never right for my 4a/b hair. Ever! I also pincurl to keep my style. It works! I hope this helps you and others.