my 12 YO AA daughter

[Myjourney2009]

got hit with the question yesterday...

one of her 13 YO friends asked her if she was mixed with Spanish. Of course, her reply was no I am 100% AA. Her friend then said, there are NO black women with long hair.

I told her that she will probably hear this alot and to just move on. I said there are still many girls and adults who dont know or think its possible to have healthy long hair, because many of us are not taught properly.

oh yeah her hair is not even that long, its about an inch or so from APL.

oh well, I am going to keep doing what it do, thanks to this site.

 

[Janet']

Good for her, breaking stereotypes in her pre-teens! I love it!

 

[lilsparkle825]

I'm glad you are taking care of her hair and telling her how it REALLY is. My sister is 15 and has been dealing with this since she was 12 or 13. I kinda like the fact that she's a smart mouth and will set them straight. She was ranting one day about a particular classmate and told me "these girls are so dumb....I just want to wear a shirt that says NO I'M NOT MIXED." I fell out.

 

[weaveadiva]

just curious...was her friend black also?

 

[Myjourney2009]

^^^^If I am not mistaken her friend is Latina.

 

[Myjourney2009]

She told me that last year when she wore her hair out after it was straightened they told her to take off her weave. I just shook my head.

Wait until I do this style on her, they are going to lose their minds LOL: YouTube - Flexi Rod Tutorial
Skip to 14:50 for the final look

 

[Carisa]

She told me that last year when she wore her hair out after it was straightened they told her to take off her weave. I just shook my head.

Wait until I do this style on her, they are going to lose their minds LOL: YouTube - Flexi Rod Tutorial
Skip to 14:50 for the final look

Girl thank u for that tutorial! The end results were the best ive ever seen. Its wonderful your teaching her healthy hair practices at such a young age. And she will know as time passes there will continue to be haters and to just brush them off.

 

[Myjourney2009]

Yeah, Ninapruitt did the dang thing with that style. My DD's eyes were bugging out of her head when she saw the final result.

 

[~~HoneyComb~~]

Both my DDs have had this happen to them throughout their school years.

My 13 year old DD tells me almost weekly that a random black girl will ask her if she's mixed. There is nothing about my DD that says she's mixed. What they see is her hair touching her tailbone and to them that's the connection that they make.

It's really sad that young black girls think that the only way to have long hair is to be mixed with something. When I was growing up it was never a question that was asked--if you were a black girl with long hair, that's exactly what you were, no questions asked.

 

[8HoursFromHome]

^^she should tell them, "yeah, I'm mixed! black and indian. I'm from the slap-a-ho tribe and you're making me wanna pow wow"

sorry, couldnt resist

 

[~~HoneyComb~~]

^^she should tell them, "yeah, I'm mixed! black and indian. I'm from the slap-a-ho tribe and you're making me wanna pow wow"

sorry, couldnt resist

That's funny!

She's used to it now, it's been happening to her for so long and because she's a quiet kid, she politely tells them no, and then they start asking her about me and whether my hair is long It's like to them there has to be a reason that her hair is so long--well, there is, but the simple answer of protective styling is just too easy for them to accept.

 

[Country gal]

I am not surprised. Some of us will do weave checks with AAs with long hair.

 

[~~HoneyComb~~]

I am not surprised. Some of us will do weave checks with AAs with long hair.

Exactly So you can blame the children, most of them learn this from their parents because they don't know any better.

 

[Guitarhero]

This country..I swear. Why is it even an issue? If there are supposedly NO Black women with long hair, then keep it moving. How do you just ask somebody their racial composition and then charge and entire group of people of "ugliness" cuz they don't supposedly have long hair...EVER? I've seen plenty of long-haired monsters. Oh well...you're right...she's gonna hear it so prepare a very good comeback that will nip that conversation in the bud.

 

[~~HoneyComb~~]

This country..I swear. Why is it even an issue? If there are supposedly NO Black women with long hair, then keep it moving. How do you just ask somebody their racial composition and then charge and entire group of people of "ugliness" cuz they don't supposedly have long hair...EVER? I've seen plenty of long-haired monsters. Oh well...you're right...she's gonna hear it so prepare a very good comeback that will nip that conversation in the bud.

You're right it shouldn't be an issue, but unfortunately it is.

I don't even blame the kids, they don't know any better and 9 times out of 10 they've heard in from somewhere--their mom, aunt, etc.

Like I said before, this was never an issue when I was growing up, but this generation of young black girls have been told that the only way to have any kind of length to your hair is if you're mixed--it's sad.

 

[8HoursFromHome]

As a child, my hair was about half-way down my back. The other black girls always made snide remarks, i.e., "oh, she thinks she's cute" and things of that nature. My mother messed up when I was 13 and put a relaxer in my hair (vigirol or something like that). Well, my hair fell out and throughout middle school, I wore a pixie.

 

[Myjourney2009]

This country..I swear. Why is it even an issue? If there are supposedly NO Black women with long hair, then keep it moving. How do you just ask somebody their racial composition and then charge and entire group of people of "ugliness" cuz they don't supposedly have long hair...EVER? I've seen plenty of long-haired monsters. Oh well...you're right...she's gonna hear it so prepare a very good comeback that will nip that conversation in the bud.

The kids, the kids, they obviously dont know any better. For this young girl to be 13 and she said this, she heard this from someone. Most young children are not that observant.

Well thats not true a little. When my hair was airdried and really big a couple of days ago, my DD was shocked. Her words were " I have never seen a women with a relaxer with so much hair." Yup right out of her mouth. I told her its because I dont relax bone straight, she looks so confused when I tell her that. LOL

I have to keep explaining to her that relaxed hair doesnt have to look lifeless.

She is natural by the way.

I told her the next time someone comments on black folk not having long hair say "well you have met your first one and I wont be your last"

Hair is an ongoing discussion that I have with her, she saw a young girl with extensions once and asked me how does a person lose them. I went into a whole discussion about traction alopecia."

She was wondering why I dont relax her hair. What has stopped her from asking is when I told her that she CANT scratch her scalp for atleast 2 days prior amongst other things. She balked and never asked again.

 

[BostonMaria]

Ridiculous.. as a Latina myself I know plenty of people in my family with short, raggedy hair LOL Has nothing to do with being Hispanic

So this girl is your daughter's "friend" ??? I'd question that. She sounds like a hater if you ask me.

My DD has very long hair and some people will ask her if they can touch it. They pull her curls and I tell her don't let nobody touch your hair damn it LOL I tell my stepdaughter the same thing, but she got fed up and cut it from tailbone to BSL so people could leave her alone.

She told me that last year when she wore her hair out after it was straightened they told her to take off her weave. I just shook my head.

Wait until I do this style on her, they are going to lose their minds LOL: YouTube - Flexi Rod Tutorial
Skip to 14:50 for the final look

Is this you in the video? Wow your hair is so thick! I would have thought you were natural. You have beautiful hair. I'm off to see the end of the video...

 

[Myjourney2009]

You know kids they have to be taught how to weed through folks to see who there "real" friends are. I am still working on that with her.

No,that is not me. That is Ninapruitt

I live in NYC and I see plenty of woman with chewed up hair, mainly blacks and latinos. I am seeing more and more latin women with chewed up edges from pulling the ponytails too tight.

I being an AA women know the trials and tribulations with having hair longer than SL. When I was a teen I would get asked if my hair was mine, and it was barely past SL. It was because it was healthy, that was all. Once as a women in my 20's my hair was at its optimal health. It was just touching SL and my cousin thought it was a wig, she kept giving me the side eye. It did not stay that way for long because I didn't know what to do to keep it that way.

 

[NikkiGirl]

This is sad and unfortunate. I think what bothers me the most about this statement is that I look around me when out in town and I do see so many AA ladies with chewed up hair and it really doesn't have to be that way. I think on the board we know so much so it is hard to realize that out in the world the knowledge we have may not be reaching everyone. Too sad.

 

[GreenEyedJen]

Wow. This immediately made me think of my own childhood. I wasn't ever allowed to cut my hair or wear it out. I used to hate it, but now I realize it was because my mom didn't want to deal with all the tangles afterwards. ANYWAY, I went through this phase where I'd take out the braids my mom did on the bus on the way to school. I'd have huge, long hair by first period (lol). Anyway, I went to a majority white school (my hometown was like 98% white at that time) and the black and Hispanic girls didn't like me (they were cool with the white kids though). One day, my lunch table got into an argument with some other lunch tables. I can't even remember what the argument was, but I do remember, after it was all over, being approached by this one Hispanic chick, Jacqui, who said "Are you all black?" I said, "Yes". She responds "Are you sure? You better check yourself. You sound white and you have too much hair."

I was shocked. I'm 25 and can still remember what she looked like and exactly what she said. I don't even remember the names of some of my friends from that time, but I remember hers. I went to the administration and I'm pretty sure she got suspended.

Maybe it's because I dealt with a whole lot of hatred growing up, but it always pulls my heartstrings a little when I hear stuff like this.

 

[Myjourney2009]

Wow. This immediately made me think of my own childhood. I wasn't ever allowed to cut my hair or wear it out. I used to hate it, but now I realize it was because my mom didn't want to deal with all the tangles afterwards. ANYWAY, I went through this phase where I'd take out the braids my mom did on the bus on the way to school. I'd have huge, long hair by first period (lol). Anyway, I went to a majority white school (my hometown was like 98% white at that time) and the black and Hispanic girls didn't like me (they were cool with the white kids though). One day, my lunch table got into an argument with some other lunch tables. I can't even remember what the argument was, but I do remember, after it was all over, being approached by this one Hispanic chick, Jacqui, who said "Are you all black?" I said, "Yes". She responds "Are you sure? You better check yourself. You sound white and you have too much hair."

I was shocked. I'm 25 and can still remember what she looked like and exactly what she said. I don't even remember the names of some of my friends from that time, but I remember hers. I went to the administration and I'm pretty sure she got suspended.

Maybe it's because I dealt with a whole lot of hatred growing up, but it always pulls my heartstrings a little when I hear stuff like this.

WOW, she told me that some kids are saying this to her as well she doesn't talk much slang and is pretty mild mannered. I told her well dont worry your self, keep on doing what you are doing.