My new friend said....

[sareca]

Well, I am glad you and a few others didn't like that comment. I really don't like that kinda talk at all.

That is crazy talk. I don't play with people when they are talking about me and ripping, tearing, slapping, beating, etc in the same sentence. If you feel uncomfortable, then I would definitely pull back and watch her or even discuss this with her. Tell crazy girl, you don't play like that and it makes you uncomfortable. That's is some straight up crazy mess.

We often find ourselves in craziness when we don't put that kinda thing in check.

I don't play with crazy, medicated or home grown.

I'm gonna add that to my favorite quotes list.

 

[Christa438]

I think she was playing around. But you should let her know that you seriously don't like people tugging or pulling your hair even if it's gently. On the other hand, I used to play with one of my best friends who is about MBL by saying things like "Girl, let me borrow your hair tonight" or "Girl, can u gimme that hair...please." But I never said I wanted to rip it out her head though... so be friendly with this girl but keep your eye on her just in case.

 

[SleekandBouncy]

There's some truth to every joke. My mom's best friend during high school and her 20's took a hot comb and burned her scalp and hair. When she confronted her she confessed that she had been jealous for years and she resented her hair. She begged her to take her back and said she felt extra guilty beceause my mom was the kindest friend she had.

You don't have to end the friendship but I'd keep a wayward eyeball on girly.

 

[Jaegermany]

Um...I dont know if the comment would have affected me too much but when she put her hands in my head that for sure would have!

Im funny about my personal space and as adults people should be supress their urges to touch other people they dont know all that well. The tug at my hair would have irritated me -dont touch me. Its like when your pregnant and people you dont know like that touch your stomach!? WTF!? What makes that okay? Sorry I just went somewhere else...

* walks out of thread mad mumblin under breath *

 

[Incredible1ne]

There's some truth to every joke. My mom's best friend during high school and her 20's took a hot comb and burned her scalp and hair. When she confronted her she confessed that she had been jealous for years and she resented her hair. She begged her to take her back and said she felt extra guilty beceause my mom was the kindest friend she had.

You don't have to end the friendship but I'd keep a wayward eyeball on girly.

Now that is a shame. Why would she do something like that to her best friend

 

[coconow2007]

My new friend said that she loves my hair and she just wants to rip it out when I'm not looking.

I was stunned. We were riding together in my car and I had both hands on the wheel but I looked at her like she was crazy and gave a nervous laugh. Really I wanted to reach out for a weapon.

What is wrong with her for saying this? Am I just taking it the wrong way? Because she put her hand in my hair and pulled it later on that day. I'm not joking! I almost slapped her.

We went out and had a drink and we had a nice time together. But this girl might be a trip. What? Am I overreacting?

I don't have many female friends my own age (I have two close female friends that are a lot older). I was hoping to get to know her better since she's only a few years older than me...now I'm hesitant.

Watch out for girlfriend sounds a like an undercover hater.

 

[SleekandBouncy]

Now that is a shame. Why would she do something like that to her best friend

It actually left a scar on my mothers skin, it's not apparent only because it's covered by hair. She spent a full year trying to making it up to her, but it didn't work. She eventually confessed that both her sister and had felt the same way. It's funny because at the time my mother's hair was not long, it was above shoulder length, but thick and shiny.

 

[DivaRox]

It actually left a scar on my mothers skin, it's not apparent only because it's covered by hair. She spent a full year trying to making it up to her, but it didn't work. She eventually confessed that both her sister and had felt the same way. It's funny because at the time my mother's hair was not long, it was above shoulder length, but thick and shiny.

What a hateful person. How do you "make up" to somebody after you assault them with a hot iron? THis is one "friend"who would sit on the curb FOREVER.

 

[schipperchow1]

I personally do not take to course or cruel joking. IMHO, I think that she was expressing her envy of your hair. I'd watch her, especially after a few drinks. I'd also prefer to spend time alone rather than with someone who thought that doing bodily harm to me was funny.

 

[bklynLadee]

ummm Heres my opinion and only my opinion. SHE AINT JOKIN! first of all, it doesnt sound like ya'll been friends for 5 years or something. And even then...ppl are crazy.

First off, you, we are crazy about our hair and truly care for one another and we have the upmost regard for one anothers tressess.

How many times have we been to something crazy called a SALON, and been done wrong?! Then to turn around and have a friend who may appreciate how hair looks, but not what it takes to care for hair!

The mere fact that she did a "weave" check or what could also be a potential violent yank just to check how crazy you are in case she really decides to yank it harder one day? Aint nuttin to mess with.

I mean has anyone not heard "keep your hands to yourself and you won't get in trouble"?

Let's face it, we are all adults, and we are not in pre-k, so yea theres no principle to report her too, and you don't want to accuse her of doing something that you dont really have 100 percent proof of...but I would say Nip it in the bud! Perhaps make it general, talk about hair and say something like...I really can't stand when ppl touch my hair. Orrr wear your hair up and if she asks why then say...Cause I dont like my hair in my face nor people touching my hair.

But By no means push this situation to the side and say it was a friendly gesture...aint NUTTIN friendly about someone puttin their Phalanges near you!

To the other ladies who are very optimistic...I truly applaud you.

It's possible that those of us who feel like it wasnt too funny...got hurt in the past. I know that I had my hair burned on purpose with the hot comb...my sister cut my hair when i was about 10 from mid back to shoulder length...I have been to salons were women claimed they would trim but they CHOPPED!!!

So people do things out of spite...in my experience it happens!

Whheeww that was long winded sorry yall!

 

[DarkAngell]

My new friend said that she loves my hair and she just wants to rip it out when I'm not looking.

I was stunned. We were riding together in my car and I had both hands on the wheel but I looked at her like she was crazy and gave a nervous laugh. Really I wanted to reach out for a weapon.

What is wrong with her for saying this? Am I just taking it the wrong way? Because she put her hand in my hair and pulled it later on that day. I'm not joking! I almost slapped her.

We went out and had a drink and we had a nice time together. But this girl might be a trip. What? Am I overreacting?

I don't have many female friends my own age (I have two close female friends that are a lot older). I was hoping to get to know her better since she's only a few years older than me...now I'm hesitant.

yes to the bolded. Shes just joking! Lighten up! thats just a joking way of saying " i want you're hair" or "i wish i had ur hair" . and her grabbing at it...i mean it is kind of a violation of space...not to mention probably SEVERAL hair care rules of LHCF ( i did kinda cringe at that part lol)...BUT....people do things like that to things they loooooove. Think about when u see a cute baby ( that u know of course ) and they're just so cute that u cant help but pinch their cheeks and squeeze them and even lightly pinch them. Same thing here...

 

[meia]

now theres a thing about being envious but being kind. Please dont get mad at me when i say this lana but THAT B-I IS CRAZY! lol i didn't mean to laugh but the way i exclaimed it sounded funny... anyways, she sounds like one of those types that would cut your hair in your sleep. cut her off now, i have a bad feeling of what could happen if you dont.

you aren't overreacting at all.... what gives her the right to act that way? leave her alone, shes definitely bad luck. I know friends like to joke like that but i think by grabbing your hair, that was a bit much. maybe she was kidding but i personally that took it way way too far... so i don't think you were tripping at all...ITA Brklyladee

ETA: I DO HAPPEN TO THINK since she is your NEW friend maybe shes one of those crazys that become your friend so she can "become you" find out all your secrets and manipulate you before trying to mess you over. See now, thats why I choose not to have any friends because I can trust myself... other people are just damn crazy

 

[lana]

now theres a thing about being envious but being kind. Please dont get mad at me when i say this lana but THAT B-I IS CRAZY! lol i didn't mean to laugh but the way i exclaimed it sounded funny... anyways, she sounds like one of those types that would cut your hair in your sleep. cut her off now, i have a bad feeling of what could happen if you dont.

you aren't overreacting at all.... what gives her the right to act that way? leave her alone, shes definitely bad luck. I know friends like to joke like that but i think by grabbing your hair, that was a bit much. maybe she was kidding but i personally that took it way way too far... so i don't think you were tripping at all...ITA Brklyladee

ETA: I DO HAPPEN TO THINK since she is your NEW friend maybe shes one of those crazys that become your friend so she can "become you" find out all your secrets and manipulate you before trying to mess you over. See now, thats why I choose not to have any friends because I can trust myself... other people are just damn crazy

Okay see this is exactly what I was worried about! Because we ended up going out for drinks and pasta (I love pasta) after this. I tried because so many people said "lighten up" in this post. She had just gotten her hair done and it was looking nice but kinda dry and she knew it. I complimented her after she said, "I just came from my stylist." I said, "Your hair looks pretty" and she said, "Yeah, but not as pretty as yours! I wish I had your hair, I want to just rip your hair off your scalp and make a wig out of it."

I said, "What do you mean by that?"

Then our waiter came to the table and she never answered me. That food sat like a brick in my stomach. I didn't even order my drink or any desert. I don't think I can hang out with her again. I'm sorry, she just spooks me. Plus she keeps commenting on how much we "look like sisters". We don't look alike at all in my opinion you guys. NOT AT ALL.

I feel confused. She just says creepy stuff. Maybe I can just keep her at a distance. At this rate, I'm not going to have many friends....

 

[locabouthair]

^ yeah maybe it is bets that you keep her at a distance. she might not have meant anything by it but who knows. At leats you know your hair looks good because you have hair envy.

 

[lana]

Hmm, I hadn't thought about it that way. Hair envy. (laughs)

 

[victorious]

Ignore my previous post. She went too far the second time around. She sounds ...

You're right. Keep your distance. Keep it nice, short and sweet if you happen to run into her again.

She reminds me of that lady in Hand that Rocks the Cradle. Instead of losing a baby, she probably lost some hair and her mind.

 

[tarheelgurl]

What a weird thing to say........wow.

 

[lisana]

I think she joking but it's the type of joke that is rooted in truth due to her frustration about her own hair. In those types of situation you just have to be aware. She said it once, fine, but if she were to start saying it all the time or obsessing, then there's a problem

 

[hopeful]

Okay see this is exactly what I was worried about! Because we ended up going out for drinks and pasta (I love pasta) after this. I tried because so many people said "lighten up" in this post. She had just gotten her hair done and it was looking nice but kinda dry and she knew it. I complimented her after she said, "I just came from my stylist." I said, "Your hair looks pretty" and she said, "Yeah, but not as pretty as yours! I wish I had your hair, I want to just rip your hair off your scalp and make a wig out of it."

I said, "What do you mean by that?"

Then our waiter came to the table and she never answered me. That food sat like a brick in my stomach. I didn't even order my drink or any desert. I don't think I can hang out with her again. I'm sorry, she just spooks me. Plus she keeps commenting on how much we "look like sisters". We don't look alike at all in my opinion you guys. NOT AT ALL.

I feel confused. She just says creepy stuff. Maybe I can just keep her at a distance. At this rate, I'm not going to have many friends....

Lana, see this shows you that you have good instincts and that you should trust your judgement. For a long time I would second-guess myself when I had strange feelings about people but over time something would reveal that my initial gut reaction was indeed on point. Now I almost always trust my instincts, it saves you a lot of frustration and aggravation.

Don't worry you'll meet some nice new friends all in good time, you know how they say you have to close one door in order for a new one to open (or something like that). I don't like that she uses the word "rip", that's a strong word and she wishes she could "rip your hair off your scalp" geesh that is scary. I don't think she'd ever do that but I would not want to socialize with someone who admires me that much and is not happy with themselves, it's a little spooky.

 

[tsturnbu]

girl, i think she was totally kidding. be flattered. ppl say things like that all the time....to know if she was serious or jealous woiuld depend on her personality. if she is very playful, she may have been just kidding and said it in a playful manner (consistent with her personality). if she is teh seriouis type, and less playful, be wary of her.

 

[chica_canella]

I don't like the "rip your hair out" comments.

I don't like those comments either, they are just to borderline Hanibal Lector. Except for the fact that he didn't rip the skin off but rather stalked, sedated and then skinned their backs.

 

[meia]

I'm sorry and i'm all about the peace, but I think she crossed the line, verbally, too many times lately. That type of trust (once its breeched) can cause so many different problems its best to cut her off and soon.

Oh no! And the compliment? We are so much alike you and me- I used to be the same way honestly. I wanted to make people feel better about everything (whether I genuinely agreed or didn't) I would "fudge" compliments and, when the wrong person was down on themselves, at the wrong time what was originally a well-meaning compliment easily appeared as if I was waving it in their face. And perpetuated the negative treatment- even though in my heart of hearts I meant it.

She's really crazy- and I don't mean crazy like "hey look at that man talking to himself crazy" but crazy like "Stalker best friend crazy" (I don't know if i'm backpeddling here but she sounds like a lifetime movie at the very beginning). Then to think she didn't answer you when you asked her what she meant by that? That to me shows an inordinate amount of hate. And if she said it flat-out, in a serious way, that would spook me even more.

Girl, trust your instincts. If its telling you she's toxic and could cause you problems in any way- kick her to the curb, and fast. Thats your senses telling you something doesn't sit well about her. And like I told you here and in my message to you, thats your MIND AND BODY protecting you from what could turn into bodily harm. Now i'm not saying she might not try to harm you just as it is- but the sooner you cut someone like her out of your life, the less complicated things become and the less she can use different things about you to hurt you (like i mentioned previously if you had a boyfriend or a group of friends- she could be trying to take over your life and take your place). The longer you keep her around, the more she'll find out about you, the more pain it'll bring you, and the more she can use against you.

DON'T call her and tell her you want to break the friendship, DON'T hang out with her anymore, DON'T call or accept her calls, JUST CUT HER OFF ENTIRELY and if you run into her on the street, be cordial but make no attempts to talk later. Just be kind and keep on moving

YOU LOOK LIKE SISTERS? ohhhhh this girls off her rocker SHE'S TRYING TO BECOME YOU. please, please, please stay away! Please! put it like this lana, would you rather have ALL THE FRIENDS THE WORLD OVER AND NONE OF THEM YOU COULD TRUST or would you rather have BE ALONE BUT BE SAFE AND HAPPY? You tell me... honestly its the best choice for yourself. Don't even worry about friends girl, if they are good people they
wouldnt make you feel the way she does.

 

[Jaegermany]

single white female

 

[dillard]

loves my hair ... wants to rip it out wants to......rip ... hair off scalp and make ... wig

ummmmmm, it's one of those things that you laugh at and say, ha, girl u so crazy and ignore the red flags and then months later when your house is burnt down and you find your dead cat at your doorstep with a note from her....THEN you're like, man, i shoulda known.... i'm just sayin... she sounds psycho.

 

[DSP]

Okay see this is exactly what I was worried about! Because we ended up going out for drinks and pasta (I love pasta) after this. I tried because so many people said "lighten up" in this post. She had just gotten her hair done and it was looking nice but kinda dry and she knew it. I complimented her after she said, "I just came from my stylist." I said, "Your hair looks pretty" and she said, "Yeah, but not as pretty as yours! I wish I had your hair, I want to just rip your hair off your scalp and make a wig out of it."

I said, "What do you mean by that?"

Then our waiter came to the table and she never answered me. That food sat like a brick in my stomach. I didn't even order my drink or any desert. I don't think I can hang out with her again. I'm sorry, she just spooks me. Plus she keeps commenting on how much we "look like sisters". We don't look alike at all in my opinion you guys. NOT AT ALL.

I feel confused. She just says creepy stuff. Maybe I can just keep her at a distance. At this rate, I'm not going to have many friends....

Chick is Craaaaaazy. Keep her at arm's length.

I always wonder about people who think negative comments or "jokes" about doing harm to me are a compliment. I think she's giving you a hint about what's in her heart (envy, anger, psychosis...) and you should heed her warning. Find some friends who share your gentle spirit and want to uplift you, not tear you down (or rip the hair off your head).

I don't want to read about the police finding your head in this chick's freezer.

 

[Mahalialee4]

I know a lady who had a friend who took a run at her with her car after she had driven her to get groceries. This screwball thought it was funny to see this lady fall and roll to get out of the way. So guess what, heifer backed up and did it again and was laughing her head off. She didn't hit her and this lady was in denial thinking her "friend" could not possibly have been serious... but I told her that it was a "deadly threat" and no joke at all. It took her awhile to get it, but not until months later.
AFTER THE SAME FRIEND was caught stealing food out of her basement freezer while she was borrowing the washer and dryer cause hers wasn't working...(she was hiding meat and stuff under the clothes in the laundry basket) claiming that her kids needed food when caught...stealing DVD's and clothing out the woman's house, using this lady as a reference to get credit and jobs etc. When she was finally told to take a hike...she still kept phoning and showing up at the woman's door with..."some kind of Christian you are!!!!"...and "get over yourself!"..."You are really serious about not wanting to ever talk to me again?'''...It took her 2 years to get this woman finally out of her life. See sometimes people say "shocking things" and you just want to "block that clear message",
anyway....

TAKE THIS WOMAN SERIOUSLY! bonjour

 

[dillard]

exactly. don't just take it as a joke, honestly in her mind she probably does think she's joking and means no harm, but if her jokes tend to be violent and crazy sounding, it's probably because she is violent and crazy...

 

[ChocoKitty]

I personally don't trust folks like that based on past experiences. I agree--sometimes you gotta trust your gut. Telling someone that you wanna rip their off their scalp to make a wig is not cute or endearing in the least bit to me. I could understand if you both had an established a relationship and communicated like that--jokingly of course. But the first comment definitely put up a flag for. Tugging on your hair should have been the end of it all... My tolerance for such foolishness is short!

 

[hopeful]

Lana, when you get a chance please give us an update.

 

[itismehmmkay]

So, I would've tripped too. I probably would've asked her why she would say something like that. It's one thing if someone is joking. It's another thing if they throw a comment in like they might not be kidding

I think I would watch her period...in all situations. I take jealousy of any kind as a warning sign.