Not Pretty Enough to Be Natural?

[Lynnerie]

I haven’t read the entire thread just the first few posts. But from reading this I’m going to send out my 2 cents. I’m relaxed but transitioning by the way. Basically, our natural hair will fit out facial features because its what God gave us. If you feel that your natural hair doesn’t fit your features how can you justify that relaxed hair (straight hair) fits your features? If straight hair looks good on you then why wouldn’t a natural style. Something that’s supposed to go there. This is why I believe that most blacks need counseling for the many years of white supremacy that was embedded in SOME of us. Hundreds of years being told that white is better. Hundreds of years of people mixed with a little white feeling better. People not wanting to be too dark, or have hair too “nappy” or lips too big. Read the Willie Lynch letters if you have not.

http://www.africanamericanimages.com/aai/Willie Lynch.htm

We are the only race that was taught to not accept our skin color, facial features such as a wide nose or thick lips, and lastly hair texture. I don’t feel that everyone who has chosen to relax has an issue. Hair is a matter of preference and style. But please don’t feel like you are not pretty or would not be pretty with your natural hair. If your pretty with relaxed hair your going to be pretty with natural hair too. Because you could cut all your hair off- if you’re pretty your still pretty. I used to think folks were too bold for cutting their long hair off but then I could see how gorgeous the women on this forum were after they did it. I could see their beautiful features that were hiding behind the hair. But anyways, at the end of the day, its just hair and you have to wear it the way YOU want to wear it. Do it for yourself not for anyone else. People are too focused on what society thinks.


Sorry this is so long. Well no I'm not sorry. lol

 

[BklynHeart]

i don't buy that right dare and you don't have to buy what she's selling either.

so her argument is that a woman wearing straight up 5th Avenue attire yet her hair is worn in a dry, tore up, broken, raggedity, colorfaded 2 track ski-slope pony tail ~or~ broken off hair in a bun with split ends sticking all of out it like a porcupine would look better than woman wearing her natural hair in a twa or a puff in the same attire?

extreme comparison i know but i'm just saying.........nah-nah and naaaaaaaaaaah.

sis, give ole girl something to think about next time she passes that argument onto you. yall know that out on the street we see more rough and ragged than we do healthy and swangin, all day every day.

THANKYOU!!! I've seen mad women out on the streets with expensive gear on, makeup done, and hair looking like who did it an ran.
Its sad that in 2008 we still have these discussions on whether natural hair is acceptable when its something NORMAL.

 

[DreadlockedLady0171]

i don't buy that right dare and you don't have to buy what she's selling either.

sis, give ole girl something to think about next time she passes that argument onto you. yall know that out on the street we see more rough and ragged than we do healthy and swangin, all day every day.

True Lynnie, soo true

THANKYOU!!! I've seen mad women out on the streets with expensive gear on, makeup done, and hair looking like who did it an ran.
Its sad that in 2008 we still have these discussions on whether natural hair is acceptable when its something NORMAL.

I know, I feel the same Unfortunately, our children's children's children will have the same issues As long as those little boxes are in the bbs, it won't change

 

[BrownEyez22]

i don't buy that right dare and you don't have to buy what she's selling either.

so her argument is that a woman wearing straight up 5th Avenue attire yet her hair is worn in a dry, tore up, broken, raggedity, colorfaded 2 track ski-slope pony tail ~or~ broken off hair in a bun with split ends sticking all of out it like a porcupine would look better than woman wearing her natural hair in a twa or a puff in the same attire?

extreme comparison i know but i'm just saying.........nah-nah and naaaaaaaaaaah.

sis, give ole girl something to think about next time she passes that argument onto you. yall know that out on the street we see more rough and ragged than we do healthy and swangin, all day every day.

Yes that was a extreme comparison..lol...but, I think she was meaning there is more focus on your face with some natural styles depending on the style and texture. I didnot mean you should be dressed in expensive clothing, I am meaning clothing that compliment YOU and YOUR style. For example, I would want to take some time to accessorize more, remember my earrings, include colorful scarfs ect., and just be more thoughful in my outfit choices if I were to go that route. Most of the ladies on campus I see with natural hair are rocking jeans and tank tops/tee shirts with great accessories or colorful dresses with hangbags that have a unique look to them. That's the type of coordination/styling we were discussing and how it relates to more natural hair choices.

Sorry if slightly off-topic

 

[JustKiya]

Herein lies some of the issue that I think needs more probing. It's not a style issue. It's a "are your features pretty enough to 'make up' for your natural texture" issue. Whatever that could mean -and please don't dissect THAT, as it would be getting slightly off topic.

Now:

Take Eva Pigford...green eyes, straight, high-bridged nose, slim lips....Is she a "safe" natural?

Or is someone who is more broad featured like myself with West African/Samoan looking features "safe" too?

Or should I count it all joy I'm in the Honey club and that "makes up" for my broad features and natural hair?

I'm on the side of being offended, but I'm trying to keep an open mind. If my features AREN'T right for my hair...is it a matter of being too black and others need to get over thier issues....Or am I really just urgly?

I think that's exactly what whoever was talking to the OP was implying.

Nappy hair is 'ugly', thus, in order to pull off nappy hair, you have to have a certain level of 'facial pretty' in order to balance the 'ugly' that's growing out of your head. If you aren't 'pretty' enough (and yes, that would definitely include having green eyes and light skin) then being natural isn't 'appropriate' for you. Basically, the more african you look, the straighter your hair 'needs' to be in order to maintain your 'pretty'.

Which, is a damn shame and a whole truckload of WTF, but that's how a lot of people still feel about/view nappy hair.

 

[Lynnerie]

i was told i didn't have the right facial features to pull off a twa. honestly... maybe i didn't... but you know what, i thought i was a cutie. and at the end of the day, THAT'S what matters. :yep

Great point Ladylibra! Its not what others think or what society says. Its about what you like. You gotta do you! Everyday all day!

 

[LynnieB]

Yes that was a extreme comparison..lol...but, I think she was meaning there is more focus on your face with some natural styles depending on the style and texture. I didnot mean you should be dressed in expensive clothing, I am meaning clothing that compliment YOU and YOUR style. For example, I would want to take some time to accessorize more, remember my earrings, include colorful scarfs ect., and just be more thoughful in my outfit choices if I were to go that route. Most of the ladies on campus I see with natural hair are rocking jeans and tank tops/tee shirts with great accessories or colorful dresses with hangbags that have a unique look to them. That's the type of coordination/styling we were discussing and how it relates to more natural hair choices.

but see i'd still turn it all around and upside down and say the same thing regarding a re.laxed (whoops bad habit LOL ) head with plain long straight hair.

these are just my views, i'm not trying to speak for anyone else and lawdy knows i'm not slamming my relaxed sisters here, we're just talking.

just as you say a natural wearing blah or uncoordinated clothing looks blah without dressing it up, straight hair is also blah-blah unless you brighten it up with make-up and accessories. see what i mean?

plain, boring and uncoordinated is well.....ummmm......plain, boring and uncorridinated, right?

folks naturally get to pig picking when there's nothing else left to pick about but (big but here) if the person;s already carrying around negative baggage about a particular attribute, than that's going to be the main thing they concentrate on more than anything else.

it all goes back to societal views on the old relaxed vrs natural debate.

 

[Duchesse]

quite an interesting thread

First off, like others said, if you have a face and you have hair that grows outta yo' scalp, whether your pretty or ugly, the Creator made your face and your hair the way it is, it is what it is what it is. So for someone to say that you can't wear natural hair is like saying you should have been born with a different scalp or some bull.

.....But, I personally feel that certain hairstyles on certain facial shapes are more or less desirable/attractive. For instance, I think I look very pretty w/short hair natural or relaxed. But long straight hair on me makes me feel like an egg headed drag queen, and I can't rock it like some of you ladies. But big/long hair, you can't tell me nothing!

Whereas some ladies don't look their best with short hair, natural twa or pixie, and longer hair -braids, locks, weave, relaxed, suits them much better, and vice versa.

I think some people are dancing around the very real notion that not everyone can look their most attractive w/any hair style (including natural and chemicaled). It doesn't mean that you can't do whateva in the hayl you want, but that your choice may take away from your beauty.

 

[productjunkie814]

I think certain STYLES may not look right on some people relaxed or natural, but I definitely would be pissed if someone just said "natural hair wouldn't look right on you"...:eatme:i mean, who says that?

 

[BrownEyez22]

Yes, I agree Societal(sp) Views on what is so called acceptable or the popular opinion, plays a major role.

 

[anon123]

I think that's exactly what whoever was talking to the OP was implying.

Nappy hair is 'ugly', thus, in order to pull off nappy hair, you have to have a certain level of 'facial pretty' in order to balance the 'ugly' that's growing out of your head. If you aren't 'pretty' enough (and yes, that would definitely include having green eyes and light skin) then being natural isn't 'appropriate' for you. Basically, the more african you look, the straighter your hair 'needs' to be in order to maintain your 'pretty'.

Which, is a damn shame and a whole truckload of WTF, but that's how a lot of people still feel about/view nappy hair.

where is that barf smiley when you need it? so sad. it reminds me of another thread on a different forum where someone's friend said she was already dark, she couldn't afford to have nappy hair, too.

 

[DreadlockedLady0171]

where is that barf smiley when you need it? so sad. it reminds me of another thread on a different forum where someone's friend said she was already dark, she couldn't afford to have nappy hair, too.

Here you go...

 

[RegaLady]

I think that's exactly what whoever was talking to the OP was implying.

Nappy hair is 'ugly', thus, in order to pull off nappy hair, you have to have a certain level of 'facial pretty' in order to balance the 'ugly' that's growing out of your head. If you aren't 'pretty' enough (and yes, that would definitely include having green eyes and light skin) then being natural isn't 'appropriate' for you. Basically, the more african you look, the straighter your hair 'needs' to be in order to maintain your 'pretty'.

Which, is a damn shame and a whole truckload of WTF, but that's how a lot of people still feel about/view nappy hair.

Sad, but a stupid true!

 

[RegaLady]

quite an interesting thread

First off, like others said, if you have a face and you have hair that grows outta yo' scalp, whether your pretty or ugly, the Creator made your face and your hair the way it is, it is what it is what it is. So for someone to say that you can't wear natural hair is like saying you should have been born with a different scalp or some bull.

.....But, I personally feel that certain hairstyles on certain facial shapes are more or less desirable/attractive. For instance, I think I look very pretty w/short hair natural or relaxed. But long straight hair on me makes me feel like an egg headed drag queen, and I can't rock it like some of you ladies. But big/long hair, you can't tell me nothing!

Whereas some ladies don't look their best with short hair, natural twa or pixie, and longer hair -braids, locks, weave, relaxed, suits them much better, and vice versa.

I think some people are dancing around the very real notion that not everyone can look their most attractive w/any hair style (including natural and chemicaled). It doesn't mean that you can't do whateva in the hayl you want, but that your choice may take away from your beauty.

Same with me! A so agree with this! Hell, I don't look good with everything, whether relaxed or natural! Some things just compliment some women more.

 

[SunnyDelight]

but see i'd still turn it all around and upside down and say the same thing regarding a re.laxed (whoops bad habit LOL ) head with plain long straight hair.

these are just my views, i'm not trying to speak for anyone else and lawdy knows i'm not slamming my relaxed sisters here, we're just talking.

just as you say a natural wearing blah or uncoordinated clothing looks blah without dressing it up, straight hair is also blah-blah unless you brighten it up with make-up and accessories. see what i mean?

plain, boring and uncoordinated is well.....ummmm......plain, boring and uncorridinated, right?

folks naturally get to pig picking when there's nothing else left to pick about but (big but here) if the person;s already carrying around negative baggage about a particular attribute, than that's going to be the main thing they concentrate on more than anything else.

it all goes back to societal views on the old relaxed vrs natural debate.

EXACTLY (the bolded)

Also, I think its funny how people themselves will say "I think I look better with my hair . . . " (fill in the blank but remember we were all natural once upon a time)

We were ALL born the way GOD wanted us to be. BEAUTIFUL. We made choices to change things - to get perms, tattoo's, to wear/not wear makeup, piercings etc. Not only is beauty in the eye of the beholder, it is in our attitude and the way WE present ourselves. What one sees as APPEASING to the eye, another may see as no so. Be and do you.

 

[cocoberry10]

Please ignore that comment. You decide how pretty you are, not someone else. Why wouldn't you be pretty enough with the hair you were born with?
God doesn't make mistakes, you are fearfully and wonderfully made

Couldn't agree more. There's nothing wrong with relaxing, if that's what you want to do. Likewise, there's nothing wrong with being natural if that's what you want too!

 

[Southernbella.]

I think that's exactly what whoever was talking to the OP was implying.

Nappy hair is 'ugly', thus, in order to pull off nappy hair, you have to have a certain level of 'facial pretty' in order to balance the 'ugly' that's growing out of your head. If you aren't 'pretty' enough (and yes, that would definitely include having green eyes and light skin) then being natural isn't 'appropriate' for you. Basically, the more african you look, the straighter your hair 'needs' to be in order to maintain your 'pretty'.

Which, is a damn shame and a whole truckload of WTF, but that's how a lot of people still feel about/view nappy hair.

You hit the nail on the head.

 

[MonPetite]

...................................

 

[AvaSpeaks]

Imagine being told:

"Your texture is lovely...but...you don't really have the face for that sort of thing. You need the right features for natural hair."


What would your reaction be?

Are their really "right" features for being natural? How can my face not match what my DNA deems should come out of my head?

Could it really be true the way some people can't "play off" certain hair colors that some people can't "work" their natural hair? Does this mean certain women just aren't attractive with their natural texture (WHATEVER that texture may be)? Is that possible?


Please ignore the good hair vs. bad hair debate. This is more a hair-whatever-the-texture vs. the-face-it-frames issue.



What do you ladies think?

Some people think that you have to "look" a certain way to have Natural hair. So the question to really ask is, how do people with natural hair are suppossed to look?

 

[Country gal]

I sport my natural fro and straight hair too. A co-worker says I have the personality for natural hair. I think I look good with both styles. The straighter hair frames my face differently. Sometimes I get more male attention with straighter hair.

 

[AvaSpeaks]

Nappy hair is 'ugly', thus, in order to pull off nappy hair, you have to have a certain level of 'facial pretty' in order to balance the 'ugly' that's growing out of your head. If you aren't 'pretty' enough (and yes, that would definitely include having green eyes and light skin) then being natural isn't 'appropriate' for you. Basically, the more african you look, the straighter your hair 'needs' to be in order to maintain your 'pretty'.

You know, I was always under the assumption that some people think the opposite of what you said. There are alot of people who don't find natural hair as attractive. So therefore, they usually assume that the natural haired ladies are NOT AS ATTRACTIVE than the ladies who don't have natural hair.

Hence, the person saying in the OP's post, that she may not have the features. She could had been saying that she thinks she too pretty for natural hair. I'm telling you, lots of people think that way. I'm not saying all, but plenty do.

 

[cmesweet]

i don't buy that right dare and you don't have to buy what she's selling either.

so her argument is that a woman wearing straight up 5th Avenue attire yet her hair is worn in a dry, tore up, broken, raggedity, colorfaded 2 track ski-slope pony tail ~or~ broken off hair in a bun with split ends sticking all of out it like a porcupine would look better than woman wearing her natural hair in a twa or a puff in the same attire?

extreme comparison i know but i'm just saying.........nah-nah and naaaaaaaaaaah.

sis, give ole girl something to think about next time she passes that argument onto you. yall know that out on the street we see more rough and ragged than we do healthy and swangin, all day every day.

Preach it!

 

[FindingMe]

ummmm...i'm speechless...the ingnorance of some folks just astounds me

not every hairstyle looks good on everyone, i agree with that statement, but being natural is not a hairstyle. you can still wear your hair many different ways and in many different styles in it's natural state, just as you can relaxed or texlaxed hair.

i don't get it...

 

[MonPetite]

I sport my natural fro and straight hair too. A co-worker says I have the personality for natural hair. I think I look good with both styles. The straighter hair frames my face differently. Sometimes I get more male attention with straighter hair.

That's a whole 'nother thread!

 

[ladylibra]

You know, I was always under the assumption that some people think the opposite of what you said. There are alot of people who don't find natural hair as attractive. So therefore, they usually assume that the natural haired ladies are NOT AS ATTRACTIVE than the ladies who don't have natural hair.

Hence, the person saying in the OP's post, that she may not have the features. She could had been saying that she thinks she too pretty for natural hair. I'm telling you, lots of people think that way. I'm not saying all, but plenty do.

i have a cousin whose grandma is white and he is super light... but has 4bish hair. and when he tried to grow his hair out the first thing out of his mama's mouth was, "you're too light to be tryna sport an afro."

i don't know if that proves anybody's point or not... but i thought it was funny...

 

[Christa438]

ummmm...i'm speechless...the ingnorance of some folks just astounds me

not every hairstyle looks good on everyone, i agree with that statement, but being natural is not a hairstyle. you can still wear your hair many different ways and in many different styles in it's natural state, just as you can relaxed or texlaxed hair.

i don't get it...

I agree with this! Some people... .

 

[Oasis]

That's the most idiotic thing I've ever heard. Some people are just so damn ignorant and should keep their mouth on lock at ALL times.

 

[MD_Lady]

Imagine being told:

"Your texture is lovely...but...you don't really have the face for that sort of thing. You need the right features for natural hair."

What would your reaction be?

Are their really "right" features for being natural? How can my face not match what my DNA deems should come out of my head?

Could it really be true the way some people can't "play off" certain hair colors that some people can't "work" their natural hair? Does this mean certain women just aren't attractive with their natural texture (WHATEVER that texture may be)? Is that possible?

Please ignore the good hair vs. bad hair debate. This is more a hair-whatever-the-texture vs. the-face-it-frames issue.

What do you ladies think?

I think someone can make that argument about certain hair styles, but not hair textures. It's almost like they're saying that you have to be super pretty to wear your hair natrually because doing so detracts from your appearance. How can you not have the facial features to pull off your God-given hair texture?

 

[RegaLady]

i have a cousin whose grandma is white and he is super light... but has 4bish hair. and when he tried to grow his hair out the first thing out of his mama's mouth was, "you're too light to be tryna sport an afro."

i don't know if that proves anybody's point or not... but i thought it was funny...

Not to be ignorant, but I have come across super light people who have VERY kinky hair, or even facial features with a particular hair texture. My thought has been, " I really would never put them, with that hair." It's very interesting!

 

[Hair Iam]

I know when I gained weight I didnt' like how my natural hair looked on me, because my face was fatter and my hair was shorter, now that I lost weight, I liked it better because my face was smaller and liking it even more because its getting longer, I dont thiink its having natural hair, its just the length, some people look good with short hair and some look good with fuller or longer hair, when I first cut my hair real short I liked it alot because I was smaller, but not the second time, so I think your face will have a lot to do with it.... not being natural but just the style you wear....

I think your point of view is right on the money