Paging HoneyRocket - DONT GIVE UP

[JerseyGirl]

Prior to me finding this board, I had the braids put in my hair (micro braids - human hair). I had just purchased my house and was working the graveyard shift. No time to comb my hair. I left them in for 8 weeks and took very good care of them. After the 8 weeks, I rebraided my hair again. Expecting to have more length and body, I was shocked and amazed how fragile, frizzy and limp my hair was. I cried all night. When I took out the braids, I had to go to my husband's best friends housewarming party. My intentions were to get a perm but the way my hair looked, it was impossible. My husband really wanted me to go and wiped my tears and took me to the nearest wig shop. I screamed, "Are you crazy!! Wigs are old fashioned. I can't wear a wig. I am just going to cut all my hair off and foregt about. I am going to cut it off and have my hair like Camille Crosby." My husband said try it. My mother has a 100 wigs and she looks good in it (which is true). So I went into the wig shop and purchased my first wig and wig net for under $25.00.

I went home and braided my own hair into little braids (you know the ones our mothers use to do when they were going to straighten our hair the next day) and greased it with Ultra Sheen (the one in the blue jar). I went to the party (very nervous) and got nothing but compliments on my hair (wig). I told two women there that it was a wig. They said "Get out of here". I would have never thought that that was a wig. Where did you get? How much did it cost? I am going to get a wig next week. And they did. This gave me the strength to go to work with this wig. Again, nothing but compliments.

Every night, I would rebraid my braids and grease with Ultra Sheen. Every week, I would wash my hair (I think at the time I was using Patene) and deep condition. And guess what, after 3 weeks my hair started to thicken up. Life began to breath back in. I did this for a total of 6 weeks and wore my wig with every day.

When I got my perm, I was nervous. Yes, the stylist screamed at me and had a hard time putting the perm in. She perm, conditioned and trim. Yes, trimmed my hair. Because what I thought was going to get cut off because it looked so bad after I took the braids out. When I left the salon my hair was thick, bouncy and flowing. Not as long as it is now but I didn't come out with a Camille Crosby hair cut either.

So my point is - don't give up. I know you are mad right now and you can find no other solution. But there is a solution. Have patience. If it wasn't for my husband, I would have cut it myself. Don't worry everything will be alright.

 

[NAY007]

you are soo right jerseygirl,

one time i had my hair relaxed and i just could not wait long enough to color it. so i did it and my hair came out. and i was crying---hard. that was a bad feeling.
i still had hair on my head but the ends were very see through and thin. i felt sooo horrible. i didn't even wear my hair down anymore. i just kept it in braids and took care of it all the time. it was a horrible time. but everybody do from time to time. that's why we are here on this board, to help each other out, right?
nay

 

[Chasney01]

I agree. Dont give up HoneyRockette. A little over two years ago, my hair broke off badly from chemical abuse and neglect. I mean there were spots on my head that measured less than a few inches. Like you, I felt discouraged. I didnt even want to go to my own prom. But you know the remarkable thing about hair is its ability to bounce back. You can die it, fry it, gel it or do all of the above and it still finds some way to preservere. Im sure with a little TLC and the help of this board your hair will be back on track in no time. Hope you feel better /images/graemlins/smile.gif

 

[HoneyRockette]

Thanks for the encouragement but my main problem is that I don't have the time to properly care for my hair at home. I know that sounds like the oldest, most pitiful excuse in the book but it is true. I work 12 hours a day, six days a week and I have two toddlers that I am raising by myself. Time, or lack thereof, is a huge issue for me. Wigs sound like a good idea but not everyone can pull it off, (well it's the pulling off part that actually worries me). Braids was the best thing for me timewise because all I had to do was spray and go every morning. I didn't even have a regimen before I got braids. For some reason though my hair doesn't like braids so the whole time I had braids was a big step back. /images/graemlins/frown.gif

I keep reading your post over and over Jersey, and you know, I think I will cut my hair. I know that wasn't your point but it isn't a bad idea. A hair cut will give me a chance to start over on the right foot minus the overprocessing and all the braid damage that will probably take years to grow out before I can even begin accumulating substantial length. I am being honest with myself by admitting I cannot grow my own hair. I tried but it just didn't work out. I need a good Black stylist to do it for me. Kudos to all the women here who have done it alone but I guess I am just bad at this. Since I don't have the time to go to the salon every week or every two weeks like I need to, I should just leave my hair short, at least until my kids are a little older. But it's not like I can find a good Black stylist near my home anyway because I have been looking for the past year.

I had a walk-in consultation today at the salon down the street from my job. By this I mean I walked into a salon to schedule an appointment and she just sat me down and told me what was wrong with my hair, and she said that I would probably need a corrective cut anyway. She wanted to chop it to chin length. I hate in between lengths so why not just chop it all off? I can run to her on my lunch breaks for little touch up trims every few weeks. What do you all think? I am actually trying to talk myself into this more than I am trying to get advice. It sounds like a good idea on paper but I am a chicken, among other things. Advice? Opinions? Horror/success stories? Anyone? I'm dangling by the end of a split hair here!

 

[moni]

yes HoneyRocket-, please don't give up. I went through the same thing that you are going through. I loved my braids. They were so convenient and there were so many different styles that you could wear. Plus, they always manage to be in style. I wore braids for years on end. Boy people thought that my hair was going to be so long when I took my braids out, I did too. So imagine my surprise when I finally took them out to get a perm.
I
Could
Have
Screamed!!!!!!!!
I was so frustrated and moody. Plus it was my first year in college (that first year was already drama in itself) so my hair problems didn't help. My mother asked a friend of hers whom she trusted to cut my hair for me. I hated to do it but it had to be done. I am so glad that I (my mother actually) made that decision. I am so fortunate to have a hairdresser who does not hack my hair off. The top was more damaged with the back so it is shorter in the front than it is in the back. I also must admit that there is a little more cutting in the front to get rid of all of the damage that was done. But since I have been taking care of my hair my hair has been growing back so fast that it will be back in no time. My hair was so straight when I left the hairdresser 2 weeks ago after my perm. Imagine my shock at seeing and feeling new growth!! And boy is it thick. So my advice is to not give up. Just take it easy and relax. These things take time. Goodluck and God bless.

 

[HoneyRockette]

Moni, so you're glad you cut your hair, right? No regrets?

 

[moni]

HoneyRocket I'm not going to lie, when I first got it cut I didn't like it. I had to get used it. I also had to properly learn how to take care of my hair. Thanks to Cathy Howse's book and hair care forums such as this I have learned a lot more than I did before. So now I have no regrets. But, as someone else has already stated, hair comes and sometimes it goes. Yours will come back soon enough, just hang in there, you'll see. Goodluck and God bless.