PLEASE VOTE:NATURAL HAIR FRUSTRATIONS..WOULD YOU RELAX IF YOU FELT THIS WAY?

[blue_flower]

I was natural twice and I ended up relaxing my hair both times. Last year I thought about transitioning, but then I realized all I was going to do was relax it again. I wanted to end of cycle of transition, natural, relax, etc. I texurize my hair now and I don't feel bad about it because I can still retain most of my natural texture, just looser. I liked my natural hair too, but it starts to become a chore. Do what you believe is best for your hair.

 

[almond eyes]

I think it really depends on why you went natural in the first place. I am natural and my main reason was due to my hair texture which is fine and voluminous. My hair never took well to relaxers or a lot of heat. When I had relaxers my hair never looked good either because of the texture my hair looked like a wet duck and did nothing for my features. Ditto for texturisers/texlaxers. I think with natural hair the key is patience. Everything in life that one truly wants requires work, discipline and dilligence. I have been natural since 2005 and it was only last year that I took charge of my hair without the extensions. It was a total learning process to learn the best products to use and now I can do a pony puff at the top of my hair one year later without the hump in the front.

Best,
Almond Eyes

 

[bnatural]

I agree it does sound like u need to hide your hair and take a break from your kinky curls.My hair is SL and just about everyday it frustrates me. It won't magically turn into everything you want it to be overnight but you'll get there.

 

[Sugar Brown]

I don't think texlaxing is a fix-all - there are plenty of people on this board who have all kinds of knots and tangles from texlaxing. I don't think any kind of hair is 100% free from tangles.

IMO, If you are constantly thinking about straight hair, you won't be happy with your natural. You just have to figure out what makes your hair the happiest and go for it.

 

[Mandy4610]

^^^^Thanks for your responses ladies, but this thread is very very old and I am pleased to say that I am still nappy and I am in LOVE with my hair

 

[MissBCurly]

I voted for no. simply because I was feeling this way yesterday, vented to my mom about it. (all the while I washed dc's and twisted my hair my the night before) it was sitting inside a beret most of the day and I finally just decided to do a twist out. I have NEVER had luck with my twist out or bantu knot outs as a natural head but just when I thoguh tI couldnt style my natural hair besides to wear it straight or in a puff... I HAD THE BEST TWIST OUT OF MY LIFE YESTERDAY! lol and now Im rocking it for the second day and I realized that it takes time to figure out what styles work for you, and alot of patience! aswell. I cannot say that in the future I wont texlax but I know that for now I need to explore all of my options before throwing away all the hard work and dedication it took me to become natural plus im loving on my hair right now =) but if you feel like youve done all that you can do I would say texlax so that you can still have the best of both worlds

 

[ycj]

Girl I feel you! I too am in love with natural hair and the ladies here who have stayed true to theire roots, but for me I have been thinking the exact same things as you have about my hair as well!!! It's thick and shrinks up alot as well! All the products I've tried from the other ladies on this site don't work well on my hair either. So what I did I used the s curl in the box and let it stay on for exactly one minute just to loosen my curl! It did, but since I am still at the twa stage it's still frustrating to me. It's like I don't know what to do! I thought about putting braids in, but I know the tension from the braids will eventually thin my hair out. So I feel I will have to go with another option! Relaxed is an option, but I really want to keep my natural hair. So we are in the same boat! I also regret bc'ng my hair in Nov 08. If I did'nt it would be mid back by now, but I lost patience. So before you decide to do anything drastic I strongly advise you to give it some deep thought!!!! Becasue once you go back to that crack the only way you will be able to get rid of it is to cut it off and then start all over again. And I know you don't want to go that route. Just be a little patient about your decision. And keep me informed about your progress, but just please don't make a hasty decision that you will regret later. I did and am actually sorry I bc! But it's gone now so there is nothing I can do about it but keep working with it until it grows back!

 

[chebaby]

right now i have a twa but i know for a fact i will never relax my hair again. NEVER. even with me being just a tad frustrated that the front left side of my hair is still straight and doesnt absorb products like the rest of my hair i will still never relax. i assume you get to know your hair and then you'll be able to deal with it all because you just know.

 

[tada1]

When i first started reading the OP, i was gasping for breath. I was like but but but i looooove Mandy's hair. LoL. im relieved that you got over that phase. we all go through times like that in every area of life and im glad you stayed natural. you're definitely one of my inspirations

 

[Miss AJ]

Everyone has frustrations with their hair. Whether you relax, texlax/texturize, or stay natural should be about what is best for you and your hair because if you make that decision based off of hair woes then you will never be satisfied.

 

[melodies815]

Mandy, I know this thread is old as dirt....but I am so glad to read it today.

I hate everything about my hair today...well, maybe that's not true. Maybe I hate the fact that I need to do it but I don't feel like I have the time to get in the shower (AGAIN!), detangle with my head back, condition twice (because I need protein and moisture today), and then twist it back up again.

I trimmed in November and don't want to do it again until March, but SSKs are going to take over if I don't hurry up and dust them off my ends. Also...I have been pulling tangles apart out of sheer laziness.

My hair looks nice, but I can literally hear it yelling at me to get on the ball. It's too much work today...I wish I had a relaxer (not really, but I am venting.).

Well...thanks to this thread, I can vent and keep myself from making a crazy decision out of emotion.

If I were BSL, though...I would probably relax...or would I???

Thanks again.


cj

 

[likewtr4chklit]

LMAO!! I'm sitting here buggin like, "wait...I love her hair, and it's not even short, what is she talking about??"......*sigh* reading is fundamental.

 

[Junebug D]

I'm glad things worked out, I love OP's natural hair too and she definitely has picked up some styling skills!

I relaxed, but I had been feeling that way for a nice long while. I wouldn't do anything the moment you have problems because that may just lead to another BC. And then another BC when another problem comes up, and then another.... But if you felt like that for a substantial amount of time and you aren't getting closer to your goals...

 

[Mandy4610]

I love how this thread rise from the dead every now and then. Reminds me how far I have come with my hair

When i first started reading the OP, i was gasping for breath. I was like but but but i looooove Mandy's hair. LoL. im relieved that you got over that phase. we all go through times like that in every area of life and im glad you stayed natural. you're definitely one of my inspirations

It was a tough phase I tell you. Thank goodness to the lovely ladies of LHCF. I over came it. I am so proud. I love my hair and when I reread this thread, I always almost cry.

Mandy, I know this thread is old as dirt....but I am so glad to read it today.

I hate everything about my hair today...well, maybe that's not true. Maybe I hate the fact that I need to do it but I don't feel like I have the time to get in the shower (AGAIN!), detangle with my head back, condition twice (because I need protein and moisture today), and then twist it back up again.

I trimmed in November and don't want to do it again until March, but SSKs are going to take over if I don't hurry up and dust them off my ends. Also...I have been pulling tangles apart out of sheer laziness.

My hair looks nice, but I can literally hear it yelling at me to get on the ball. It's too much work today...I wish I had a relaxer (not really, but I am venting.).

Well...thanks to this thread, I can vent and keep myself from making a crazy decision out of emotion.

If I were BSL, though...I would probably relax...or would I???

Thanks again.


cj

I totally totally understand how you feel. My advice to you would beto get yourself a hair buddy that can encourage you when things are not going so well or even when things are good.This helped me out so much. I am all ears if you want to talk, just PM me.

LMAO!! I'm sitting here buggin like, "wait...I love her hair, and it's not even short, what is she talking about??"......*sigh* reading is fundamental.

Thanks girl.

 

[Coil Tresses]

Initially I was all natural for over 2 years. I felt like you and started getting presses, then the beautician talked me into giving me a halo with a perm. Before I knew it I got permed all over.

Now, I shaved it all off to get back natural. What you said is real, but I found that I still had to put some cones on my hair for that shine and oil sheen sometimes.

If you haven't don't do it, all it will lead to is breakage and damage and then you'll be right back to the drawing board like many of us natural women. Good Luck.

 

[southerncitygirl]

I got my last relaxer in fall of 2001 and completely transitioned( from a short bob the Dominicans jacked me up in 3 months so i had to cut it). I have learned so much about my hair and keep learning stuff. i think you should hide your hair for a while (6-12 months) and once you get more length things will change. I wish i knew then what i know now cause my hair would be waist length or beyond insteas of apl. My hair loves protein and moisture and i just started washing and I am amzaed at how my hair is responding. wigs have been my protective style for 2.5 yrs and i've finally unlocked the mystery of detangling and moisturizing for my strands. i know I may color but I'll never relax. hang in there and be patient!

 

[arosieworld]

I feel that way a lot. That is what made me use heat on it the first time. I glad I did it is helping me wait till it gets longer. I am going to wait till it gets BSL to judge but then if I still can't deal I want to try BKT. Each day it grows I become more happy with it and less likely to use a chemical to change it so we shall see. I am glad you found something that works for you I think sometimes the key is patience or at least that's what I keep telling myself. lol

 

[Shun34]

I might relax it to do something different with my hair with the intent to cut it all off after a few months. TWAs are so much easier to maintain than long natural hair.

 

[lilliz6]

I'm not sure if someone mentioned this already, as I have not read through the whole thread...... I decided to go natural about 3 or 4 years ago and I had no idea how to take care of my natural hair and achieve styles that I thought were appropriate. I had the same frustrations as you are having now. Needless to say, I decided to relax it out of frustration.

I decided to try going natural again and sticking with it this time. I have been natural for 1 and 1/2 years and I am sticking with it because I have learned how to work with my hair. One great way to learn is to find a reputable beautician who specializes in natural hair. She/he should be able to show you products and styles that work for you. After you try this, if you still want to relax, then go for it.

 

[Mandy4610]

lol.............I should make the update bigger on the first post. This thread is mighty old and my hair is still natural

 

[BrooklynSouth]

I'm not sure if someone mentioned this already, as I have not read through the whole thread...... I decided to go natural about 3 or 4 years ago and I had no idea how to take care of my natural hair and achieve styles that I thought were appropriate. I had the same frustrations as you are having now. Needless to say, I decided to relax it out of frustration.

I decided to try going natural again and sticking with it this time. I have been natural for 1 and 1/2 years and I am sticking with it because I have learned how to work with my hair. One great way to learn is to find a reputable beautician who specializes in natural hair. She/he should be able to show you products and styles that work for you. After you try this, if you still want to relax, then go for it.

Natural stylists charge a heck of a lot but I guess one consultation could not hurt if it's a learning experience. I like getting product advice right here on the forum from long time naturals.

 

[jazii]

I just BC'ed and I am feeling that way already so I understand the frustration!!!! but My hair is too short to relax just yet and I don't think I really want to do it!!! But do whatever is easier for you. I think your hair is beautiful, btw!!!

 

[PeanutButterandHoney]

This is/was my dilemna... so I made an appt with a salon and will be relaxing soon.. I feel btter already, I am just not gonna inform people of my decision, just do it.

 

[SingBrina]

I think I am going back to relaxer tonight!!! I am having a fit!! I mean what the HAY!! I have to use all this heat!!! Might as well relax and stay away from all this heat, such as a pressing comb that tugs and pulls the heck out my hair!!! OMG!!!! I CANT TAKE IT!!! RELAXER, I THINK I AM COMING TONIGHT!!!!

 

[PeanutButterandHoney]

^^ How long you been natural?

 

[Tiye]

I think I am going back to relaxer tonight!!! I am having a fit!! I mean what the HAY!! I have to use all this heat!!! Might as well relax and stay away from all this heat, such as a pressing comb that tugs and pulls the heck out my hair!!! OMG!!!! I CANT TAKE IT!!! RELAXER, I THINK I AM COMING TONIGHT!!!!

Sounds like you might have made a decision already but pressing can work if you do it the right way. Like your hair should be completely detangled before you begin pressing. Don't try to combine steps. And maybe the pressing comb is not the right tool for you. Looks like you have a lot of hair - did you check out longhairdontcare's channel on youtube - she also has really long hair and she uses a blow dryer to heat train it. I got frustrated, went to sally's and bought two relaxers, but I didn't use them coz then I came here or youtube and saw info about heat training - I thought I'd give that a try and I am very pleased with it. To me relaxed hair is hard to maintain coz of the two textures and the touchups, etc., so I'm glad there are other options.

 

[Janet']

Mandy, I'm glad that you really thought through everything before making a rash decision...I love your natural styles!

 

[Mandy4610]

Mandy, I'm glad that you really thought through everything before making a rash decision...I love your natural styles!

Aww, thank you hun. Loving your hair in your siggy too!

 

[Cherokee-n-Black]

So funny, I am seeing this for the first time and your hair is so pretty I can't believe you felt that way. So now I know when I get frustrated I can remember Mandy and how frustrated you were in the beginning and how nice your hair ended up

 

[Mandy4610]

So funny, I am seeing this for the first time and your hair is so pretty I can't believe you felt that way. So now I know when I get frustrated I can remember Mandy and how frustrated you were in the beginning and how nice your hair ended up

Cherokee-n-Black. Thanks for the compliment. This thread reminds of of how far I have come. It gives me motivation. If I made it through that time, I can make through any time.