Pleasing God and pleasing man as a church member

[CaribbeanQueen]

I was wondering how you ladies handle peer pressure and guilt in church. What I mean is, being made to feel slightly guilty for not attending certain church activities, or not undertaking particular responsibilities.

For example, let’s say that you are a member of a church. You attend regularly, pay your tithes, give offerings, sing in the choir and go to Bible study meetings during the week. Outside of church, you hold down a full-time job, study and run your household.

But recently, you are being asked to attend more weekend conferences, or are asked to stay later after Sunday services to help out. You want to do God’s work but at the same time feel like you are wearing yourself thin. What do you do?

How do you know when you are doing things to please God and when you are doing things to please man? And how do you or have you handled such situations in the past?

 

[CoilyFields]

Unfortunately Sis, this happens often. I've found that its really a small group of people that tends to do EVERYTHING in a church, with others helping out occassionally (unless your congregation is in the 1000's). So its easy to overtax those few you have because you know certain things need to be done and that they are willing and reliable.

With that said, you just have to gently let them know that you are not able to do it at this time...too much on your plate. The End. No need to feel guilty...you are helping in some way so youre not just being selfish. Because if you take on too much...you may become bitter...and God loves a cheerful giver.

(Ive had to say no to some things also and it was hard. GOing to church sunday from 8-1+ tuesday night bible study + wednesday-feed the hungry +thursday choir rehearsal+ work full time + husband+toddler=somethings gotta give lol) I had to take out some things, just let them know I couldnt do it all cuz I wasnt giving enough time for other stuff. They completely understood because they knew I was sincere about the ministry and helping.
I pray you find the right words to turn them down gently...or offer your assistance in a smaller way.

 

[Renovating]

Personally, I would respectfully deny their requests and let them know that God blessed me with a beautiful family ( and my family is the most important ministry in my life).

It's imperative for us to set boundaries in any area of our lives. IMHO, setting/enforcing boundaries is an indication of healthy self worth. If you're "wearing yourself thin," then it's time to prioritize and set some limits. There's nothing wrong with a Christian saying no, even at church. The best person to determine how much of ourselves we can afford to give is us.

When you're doing something to please God and only God, man's reaction will not bother you.

http://lbtonline.org/templates/System/details.asp?id=29844&PID=545655

 

[GodsPromises]

You have to learn how to say NO sometimes and not feel guilty. I have been in this situation and when I learned that I won't go to HELL for not helping out all the time I was conformable saying NO

 

[Laela]

There are two Scriptures that speak to this:

Romans 8 (KVJ)
1 There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.
2 For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death.
3 For what the law could not do, in that it was weak through the flesh, God sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, and for sin, condemned sin in the flesh:
4 That the righteousness of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.
5 For they that are after the flesh do mind the things of the flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit.
6 For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.
7 Because the carnal mind is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be.
8 So then they that are in the flesh cannot please God.

GUILT is of the Flesh


1 Timothy 5 (NASB)

1 (A)Do not sharply rebuke an (B)older man, but rather appeal to him as a father, to (C)the younger men as brothers, 2the older women as mothers, and the younger women as sisters, in all purity.
3 Honor widows who are (D)widows indeed;
4 but if any widow has children or grandchildren, (E)they must first learn to practice piety in regard to their own family and to make some return to their parents; for this is (F)acceptable in the sight of God.
5 Now she who is a (G)widow indeed and who has been left alone, (H)has fixed her hope on God and continues in (I)entreaties and prayers night and day.
6 But she who (J)gives herself to wanton pleasure is (K)dead even while she lives.
7 (L)Prescribe these things as well, so that they may be above reproach.
8 But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has (M)denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.


Tend to you household without guilt. You can say NO to man and please God.

I was wondering how you ladies handle peer pressure and guilt in church. What I mean is, being made to feel slightly guilty for not attending certain church activities, or not undertaking particular responsibilities.

For example, let’s say that you are a member of a church. You attend regularly, pay your tithes, give offerings, sing in the choir and go to Bible study meetings during the week. Outside of church, you hold down a full-time job, study and run your household.

But recently, you are being asked to attend more weekend conferences, or are asked to stay later after Sunday services to help out. You want to do God’s work but at the same time feel like you are wearing yourself thin. What do you do?

How do you know when you are doing things to please God and when you are doing things to please man? And how do you or have you handled such situations in the past?

 

[Uber]

Definitely tends to happen in smaller churches. Smaller churches appear to have more activities than the bigger ones too, from what I can tell. Or maybe it just seems that way. One way to look at it, is to figure out your priorities. I think the top 2 on all christians list should be 1) God 2)Family. Whilst we need fellowship, high levels of church attendance has nothing to do with your relationship with God. If church is interfering with family and work life than you need to put in the balance.

 

[Guitarhero]

I venture to say that even when people are solely interested in doing God's will and others ask them to do things, it will cause distress when they cannot. It sometimes hurts to either deny others or to face the judgments of others who cannot comprehend that individual's task loads in life. That's the nature of a "family," you care how others feel about it. Good question. You have to do what you're capable of doing and not allow the guilt to force you into anything. Having concern over what another thinks is human but do not allow it to force you to into something beyond your comfort level.

 

[LovelyNaps26]

It is important to say no when necessary. Remember, Jesus saw Martha running around getting ready to serve Him and He still criticized her business. If doing church work ever begins to take the place of sitting at the Master's feet or attending to your first ministry (your family) then it's time to sit down an re-evaluate things. The same folks who may make you feel guilty could be neglecting other aspects of their life so I wouldn't get bent out of shape.