RELAXER ON THIS HAIR?! Oh no!

[Afro|Psychedelicdisiac]

First time posting a thread.

So Friday, I have a hair appointment b/c in my opinion, I think i'm going through a hair crisis. I haven't been at the salon for some weeks now, but the last time I was there I had a relaxer. I have been getting relaxers every time I go to the salon and now that I read so much about how "bad" relaxers are for your hair, I was trying to stay away from them.
So when I called my hairstylist and told her that I wanted to stay away from relaxers, she asked me if I wanted to go natural and I said yes. Well after that she told me that my hair was really short in the back of my head from the last time she seen me and getting a relaxer was best. She asked me did my hair grow out some since the last time. I told her that my hair was growing out some, but it was still breaking off some-And to add on to to that, there still were some 'spots' in the back of head (and some at that the top) that still hasn't grown in (I don't know whether this is due to excessive combing or the relaxers, I truely believe that it is.).
My hair in the back is short, yes-so I don't know what will happen with my hair on Friday. She said that I still might need a relaxer but she will have to see what condition my hair is. I'm dreading the worst-a relaxer to my short hair. I don't really want it-but is it some truth to what my hairstylist said? Do I really need a relaxer on my short hair? I really would like to go natural and I don't think that would ever be possible with a relaxer. Seeing as though this is my first time trying to maintain my hair on my own, I don't know which direction to take to have natural growing hair.
I have photos on my profile if you want to see the condition of my hair, but you would have to add me.

Advice, advice, advice!

 

[KurlyNinja]

No, you don't NEED a relaxer. Nobody NEEDS a relaxer. Relaxing is a style choice! And if you don't think your hair can handle one at this time wait until your hair is healthier! And also you dont NEED to go natural to have healthy hair. You may want to do a long stretch and access your hair.

 

[Afro|Psychedelicdisiac]

Okay, so what are the steps to take to have healthy hair? Like I said, this is my time trying to maintain my own hair, so I really just don't know. Always keeping it moisturize is one.

 

[VirtuousBeauty]

Relaxing isn't going to solve your hair problems. If you want to stay natural do not let her put a relaxer in your hair especially if you think it may have caused you the issue. You may need to find a better stylist. I don't understand why she would tell you to relax when she knows you're trying to be natural



Hopefully some natural ladies can chime in on steps you can take for natural haircare

 

[DDTexlaxed]

Stylists piss me off with that. They want to keep you enslaved to them. A relaxer on hair that is breaking off will not help the health of your hair. She should have said that she would do a deep conditioning treatment with a roller set. I have no respect for stylists who try to scare people into a relaxer touch up. Please do not let her relax your hair if you want to transition to natural.

 

[KurlyNinja]

Okay, so what are the steps to take to have healthy hair? Like I said, this is my time trying to maintain my own hair, so I really just don't know. Always keeping it moisturize is one.

This is from Dontspeakdefeat's fotki. Its Newcomers guide to starting out. This may help. It helped me with my journey.

http://journals.fotki.com/dontspeakdefeat/newcomer/

 

[Afro|Psychedelicdisiac]

Yes, I thought that was odd as well. Now correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't relaxers are suppose to straighten your hair? My hair is straightened, so I wouldn't understand her reasons for wanting to put a relaxer in my hair.

 

[ms.blue]

I agree with DDTelaxed. Your stylist should have recommend some conditioning treatment since your hair is breaking. Relaxer is only going to make your situation worse. First control your breakage then styling can come later.

 

[KurlyNinja]

Yes, I thought that was odd as well. Now correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't relaxers are suppose to straighten your hair? My hair is straightened, so I wouldn't understand her reasons for wanting to put a relaxer in my hair.

To make money.

 

[SweetSpirit86]

$$$ <==The reason why she wants to put a relaxer in your hair.

I'm not against relaxers, but like DD said, it's not a good idea to put harsh chemicals on something that's already damaged. You should take the time to baby your hair and get it on the right track (Dontspeakdefeat's fotki is awesome), and then once it is, if you choose to relax, go ahead.

I also think it's time to find another stylist. She throws that "we'll have to see..." in there to make it sound like she cares, but it's obvious she doesn't. If she really cared about the health of your hair and not lining her pockets, she'd consider your actual wishes to not relax and try to help you with going natural, and restoring health to the hair that's breaking off.

 

[SimJam]

First time posting a thread.

So Friday, I have a hair appointment b/c in my opinion, I think i'm going through a hair crisis. I haven't been at the salon for some weeks now, but the last time I was there I had a relaxer. I have been getting relaxers every time I go to the salon and now that I read so much about how "bad" relaxers are for your hair, I was trying to stay away from them.
So when I called my hairstylist and told her that I wanted to stay away from relaxers, she asked me if I wanted to go natural and I said yes. Well after that she told me that my hair was really short in the back of my head from the last time she seen me and getting a relaxer was best. She asked me did my hair grow out some since the last time. I told her that my hair was growing out some, but it was still breaking off some-And to add on to to that, there still were some 'spots' in the back of head (and some at that the top) that still hasn't grown in (I don't know whether this is due to excessive combing or the relaxers, I truely believe that it is.).
My hair in the back is short, yes-so I don't know what will happen with my hair on Friday. She said that I still might need a relaxer but she will have to see what condition my hair is. I'm dreading the worst-a relaxer to my short hair. I don't really want it-but is it some truth to what my hairstylist said? Do I really need a relaxer on my short hair? I really would like to go natural and I don't think that would ever be possible with a relaxer. Seeing as though this is my first time trying to maintain my hair on my own, I don't know which direction to take to have natural growing hair.
I have photos on my profile if you want to see the condition of my hair, but you would have to add me.

Advice, advice, advice!

Im confused abt the parts in black... you stated a desire to go natural but the stylist is still telling you to relax ?

Re: the bolded blue - firstly, You need to make up ur mind if u really want to be natural IMHO if one is not sure of what they want (for their hair) most stylists will shove what they want onto you ... like tryin to convince u that to go natural u need to relax the back part of your hair

how many weeks most relaxer are you? U mentioned that it was "a couple of weeks", depending on how far along you are you will need to learn how to deal with your 2 textures during ur transition (I have no advice for u here i BC'd @ 5 weeks post relaxer)

hopefully some ladies who transitioned can offer further advice

 

[lilsparkle825]

That sounds dumb. You don't "need" a relaxer on short hair. If you did, most of us who BC'd down to just a few inches of hair would be bald by now.

Don't go to her, and definitely don't put a relaxer on damaged hair. Stick around here, do some reading and take that money you would be giving her to buy your own hair products. If your hair gets healthier, THEN make it your OWN decision to get a relaxer. Conversely, transitioning without knowledge may be just as rough -- make sure you do that research so you don't relax out of frustration.

PS -- Don't be scared into thinking relaxers are bad just because there are lots of naturals or transitioners on here. There are lots of women on LHCF with healthy, LONG, beauuuuutiful relaxed hair.

 

[luckiestdestiny]

No need for a relaxer unless you want one...I'm natural btw.

What I think you can do, if you're trying to transition is braid up that back short part (even if it's 3 inches or 2,) cornrow it across, and keep it moisturized until it grows out. I did that and successfully grew out my nape. It may be the part that's succeptible to breakage. You can also : weave it up to let it grow out, use half wigs, or twists...

BUT if you want a relaxer go for it, just make sure your hair is in good condition before you go that route.

 

[Giselle685]

Okay, so what are the steps to take to have healthy hair? Like I said, this is my time trying to maintain my own hair, so I really just don't know. Always keeping it moisturize is one.

Try a six month stretch. It sounds like the relaxer is really eating at your hair and could completely mess up your scalp. If you truly want a relaxer, I suggest that you try a 6 month stretch. That way you can give your scalp/hair follicles time to heal and produce some good and healthy hair that you can then relax.

Moisture/Protein balance. Look up some threads here where you can find ways to achieve this.

Also look up that thread where they are talking about Ceramides. You can help your hair thrive from that, from what I have read.

Good luck on your journey!

 

[Afro|Psychedelicdisiac]

Thanks everyone on the advice. I'm taking in all of the information, so I have a lot to think about.

 

[Kindheart]

She just want your Money woman ! Relaxers are. Harsh chemicals they break the protein bond in your hair making it more prone to breakage and dryness ,how s that gonna help u with breakage ??its a contradiction.
What u should do is baby those hair stay as far from relaxers as u can until you mastered the art of taking good care of your hair ,Deep conditioning,using protein conditioners,limiting heat ,bunning etc .You can find a lot of precious informations on this forum .
In order to have relaxed healthy hair u ll need some extra TLC .

 

[BostonMaria]

First time posting a thread.

My hair in the back is short, yes-so I don't know what will happen with my hair on Friday. She said that I still might need a relaxer but she will have to see what condition my hair is. I'm dreading the worst-a relaxer to my short hair. I don't really want it-but is it some truth to what my hairstylist said? Do I really need a relaxer on my short hair? I really would like to go natural and I don't think that would ever be possible with a relaxer. Seeing as though this is my first time trying to maintain my hair on my own, I don't know which direction to take to have natural growing hair.
I have photos on my profile if you want to see the condition of my hair, but you would have to add me.

Advice, advice, advice!

Nobody NEEDS a relaxer. Do you really NEED to see this stylist?
Can you possibly cancel and just reschedule for another month? I am a DIY'er and I'm sure any hair stylist would tell me my hair needs a relaxer so that they can make alot of money off me. If I was your hair stylist I would definitely tell you that you NEED a relaxer. You know why? Because I have bills to pay. Any other service provided will make me less money! Can't be mad at her hustle

BTW if your hair is breaking in the back you need to baby that section. If and when you decide to relax your hair again, definitely do it when your hair is healthy so that there is no more breakage.

 

[Afro|Psychedelicdisiac]

Nobody NEEDS a relaxer. Do you really NEED to see this stylist?
Can you possibly cancel and just reschedule for another month? I am a DIY'er and I'm sure any hair stylist would tell me my hair needs a relaxer so that they can make alot of money off me. If I was your hair stylist I would definitely tell you that you NEED a relaxer. You know why? Because I have bills to pay. Any other service provided will make me less money! Can't be mad at her hustle

BTW if your hair is breaking in the back you need to baby that section. If and when you decide to relax your hair again, definitely do it when your hair is healthy so that there is no more breakage.

I was thinking about canceling. Or really just stand at my decision on not getting a relaxer. But I guess everyone would see to the decision to just cancel my hairstylist and quit her.
Taking the steps to maintaining my own hair is a lot of work! I think I might need big support on this one.

 

[BostonMaria]

I was thinking about canceling. Or really just stand at my decision on not getting a relaxer. But I guess everyone would see to the decision to just cancel my hairstylist and quit her.
Taking the steps to maintaining my own hair is a lot of work! I think I might need big support on this one.

Well you can still keep your appointment, but I'd be worried that she would keep insisting and give you an attitude OR jack up your hair. One of my co-workers was transitioning and I don't know what her stylist ended up doing to her hair, but it started to break off. The stylist recommended a relaxer to "fix" the problem. Now my friend has to transition all over again. She had to change stylists because the other one was messing up her progress.

 

[lilsparkle825]

I was thinking about canceling. Or really just stand at my decision on not getting a relaxer. But I guess everyone would see to the decision to just cancel my hairstylist and quit her.
Taking the steps to maintaining my own hair is a lot of work! I think I might need big support on this one.

It's not that bad once you make that first step. It definitely doesn't have to be time consuming or difficult.

 

[Afro|Psychedelicdisiac]

Well you can still keep your appointment, but I'd be worried that she would keep insisting and give you an attitude OR jack up your hair. One of my co-workers was transitioning and I don't know what her stylist ended up doing to her hair, but it started to break off. The stylist recommended a relaxer to "fix" the problem. Now my friend has to transition all over again. She had to change stylists because the other one was messing up her progress.

Now you have me wondering if she would do something like that. Talk about shady! erplexed

 

[Afro|Psychedelicdisiac]

Well you can still keep your appointment, but I'd be worried that she would keep insisting and give you an attitude OR jack up your hair. One of my co-workers was transitioning and I don't know what her stylist ended up doing to her hair, but it started to break off. The stylist recommended a relaxer to "fix" the problem. Now my friend has to transition all over again. She had to change stylists because the other one was messing up her progress.

It's not that bad once you make that first step. It definitely doesn't have to be time consuming or difficult.

Yeah, I'm trying to make it less overwhelming. I'm not expected to know all about hair the first time around.

 

[amber815]

Don't let that woman put relaxer on your damaged hair! Even if it wasn't damaged you said you were considering transitioning, so a relaxer defeats the purpose. Take the advice of the ladies on the board and baby those damaged areas of hair. HHG!

 

[mscocoface]

Your hair is breaking which means it is not strong and healthy. Relaxer would be a major nono in this situation.

Find out everything you can about getting the health of your hair in order when you have two textures on your head.

As for maintaining you day to day hair routine you need to find hairstyles that will allow you to help your hair recover. I don't know what your preferences are in this case.

Getting twists, braides, weave, wear a wig, create buns, flat twists. All of these things could be beneficial.

Some threads to read but as not to confuse would be.

Ceramides which you could use with transition hair rather easily. Understanding the benefits of regular deep conditioning. Staying away from heat or blow dryers and curling irons.

 

[Hairsofab]

My advice is to stop going to the salons period. Trust me with a little bit of time on lhcf you will know more than stylists about hair especially your own hair. I used to be a salon junkie, now its been 3 or more yrs since I stepped foot in a salon and my hair looks better than ever.