Remind me to Keep my Mouth Shut

[ShiShiPooPoo]

Stylists get on my nerves, thinkin they know everything. I'm like, if you know so damn much, why are 99% of your clients SL and above with weaves and brown gel-helmet hairdos?

...and lookin' a typical mess.

 

[ajoyfuljoy]

I just had a similar convo with my styliyst (she's mid forties) this weekend. She's a sweetheart but she loves to micromanage my hair. I'm just at APL and the first thing she tried to do was tell me I need to cut 4 inches of my hair. My hair is healthy so I wasn't understanding why. But, she told me that last 4 inches of hair is dead hair so I need to get rid of it so my hair can grow. erplexed She said if I don't...those 4 inches will fall off by themselves (I thought - fine - let's wait until that happens )

I can't stand to hear people say that! They just don't realize how ignant they sound. Duh?!? all hair is dead

 

[ajoyfuljoy]

this is my new analogy... a stylist is like a cosmetic surgeon. their expertise is making you look good, not necessarily about making you healthy.

I agree. Some stylists just make your hair look fab. But very few actually take care of and nurture the hair.

I never found one to do the latter. I haven't been to the shop in almost two years and don't know when I'll ever go back.

 

[ajoyfuljoy]

I like to share all I've learned but it seems like people just want to stay in the dark. This weekend I allowed my SIL to put a relaxer in my hair. Now my hair is super thick and I hadn't done a good job when I relaxed it before so it was looking a hot mess when we went to her house. I tried to avoid letting her do it but I was tired of struggling with it and they pressured me so I let them. Everyone is watching as she is figting through the tangles and I'm telling them about stretching and they're looking horrified. My husband is sitting there smiling with glee because he doesnt agree with me about the stretching either. Now my SIL can style but she doesnt know a thing about proper hair care. Her edges are gone and she is bald in some places while her 3 year old daughter has relaxed hair that is pretty short and thin.

So she's ripping through my hair to get the relaxer through til I politely gave her a new comb-she still was ripping through with my comb. I think because I have so much hair and to them its long, all the hair being torn out doesnt matter. My hair was on FIRE but she wanted to keep combing it through. Finally I went to wash it out and there is NO CONDITIONER in the house. Shampoo up the hizzle but no Conditioner. I cant tell them anything because even though my hair is growing I have a hard time maintaining it so they wont listen.

And my SIL is going to cosmetology school.

OMG I would find anybody else to do my hair ASAP. That is crazy. And why would you relax a 3-year-old's hair? That is just insane. They can wear cute little natural styles so easily

 

[lovelychar]

NY Amicas, that sounds just like the incident I had one time I went to the Dominicans to get a relaxer done after a year long stretch. I had at least 4 inches of new growth and yes it was a monster I must admit. So with that regard please tell me why would you pick up a rat tail comb and attempt to comb throught my hair before applying the relaxer. I noticed the tuggling and struggling. But figured that this is someone else doing it and of course it will feel different than me tuggling with the monster (hair) I glanced to my right for a second because my head started to throb with all the yanking and started to get scared because of the sounds of ripping and noticed the tail end of the rat tail. I almost jumped out that chair. I had to calm down and ask her to use a wider tooth comb and to gently comb it and take her time or I would do it my self if they give me a discount for having to do it my self.

And before the combing even started they tried to tell me that they couldn't relax my hair because it was wet even though I explained to them what was in my hair. And wet it was not. I applied a little conditioner and olive oil to prevent overlapping.

Everything I said or recommended they do, I got a whole lot of flip at the mouth in their language. (no offense to any Dominican ladies) But that really ticked me off. If you havesomething to say. Then say it so I can understand you. Because I sure did!!!

I like to share all I've learned but it seems like people just want to stay in the dark. This weekend I allowed my SIL to put a relaxer in my hair. Now my hair is super thick and I hadn't done a good job when I relaxed it before so it was looking a hot mess when we went to her house. I tried to avoid letting her do it but I was tired of struggling with it and they pressured me so I let them. Everyone is watching as she is figting through the tangles and I'm telling them about stretching and they're looking horrified. My husband is sitting there smiling with glee because he doesnt agree with me about the stretching either. Now my SIL can style but she doesnt know a thing about proper hair care. Her edges are gone and she is bald in some places while her 3 year old daughter has relaxed hair that is pretty short and thin.

So she's ripping through my hair to get the relaxer through til I politely gave her a new comb-she still was ripping through with my comb. I think because I have so much hair and to them its long, all the hair being torn out doesnt matter. My hair was on FIRE but she wanted to keep combing it through. Finally I went to wash it out and there is NO CONDITIONER in the house. Shampoo up the hizzle but no Conditioner. I cant tell them anything because even though my hair is growing I have a hard time maintaining it so they wont listen.

And my SIL is going to cosmetology school.

 

[chocolatesis]

She does use some really good products and she actually did a great job on my last perm and trim. I havent decided if she is going to leave my regular stylist and go to her. I really want to say just do my hair and shut up.

That's funny! I think a lot of people feel that way when they're getting their hair done.

 

[SleepyJean]

Girl i dont tell nobody nothing about haircare. I learned to keep my mouth shut and to hide my products when my friend saw I was using s curl, which worked GREAT when I was natural. My friend (RIP) got on me HARD about using it. I'm like dag is it that serious?

Never again i said, never again.

I would have looked at her crazy too if she's a stylist and never heard of nexxus keraphix.

FOR REAL!!! I never tell anyone. Most stylists think they know more. Forget about her. You know what you're doing is right.

 

[keeperathome]

Stylists get on my nerves, thinkin they know everything. I'm like, if you know so damn much, why are 99% of your clients SL and above with weaves and brown gel-helmet hairdos?

 

[jgg]

I go through this so much. I KNOW I need to keep my mouth shut . Sometimes I get so excited by the good information and results that I've achieved that I want to share but I'm starting to know better. Stylist will tell me the stupidest B.S. I HAVE EVER HEARD! So I stopped going. When my friends go to the salon to get there hair done they always tell my what "there stylist said"
Some black women must think it's hot to spend $45-$95 (depending on what your getting at the salon) to sit in someone's chair for half a damn day.
When I tell my friends that I'm going to grow my hair bra strap length I see the doubt in there eyes. So my advice is SHUT UP

 

[Covergirl5906]

Girl that is why i don't talk haircare with anyone!!!!! Honey, once she see's your hair dragging the floor, she will be begging you to give her haircare advise!

DITTO...I don't even waste my good time

 

[NYAmicas]

NY Amicas, that sounds just like the incident I had one time I went to the Dominicans to get a relaxer done after a year long stretch. I had at least 4 inches of new growth and yes it was a monster I must admit. So with that regard please tell me why would you pick up a rat tail comb and attempt to comb throught my hair before applying the relaxer. I noticed the tuggling and struggling. But figured that this is someone else doing it and of course it will feel different than me tuggling with the monster (hair) I glanced to my right for a second because my head started to throb with all the yanking and started to get scared because of the sounds of ripping and noticed the tail end of the rat tail. I almost jumped out that chair. I had to calm down and ask her to use a wider tooth comb and to gently comb it and take her time or I would do it my self if they give me a discount for having to do it my self.

And before the combing even started they tried to tell me that they couldn't relax my hair because it was wet even though I explained to them what was in my hair. And wet it was not. I applied a little conditioner and olive oil to prevent overlapping.

Everything I said or recommended they do, I got a whole lot of flip at the mouth in their language. (no offense to any Dominican ladies) But that really ticked me off. If you havesomething to say. Then say it so I can understand you. Because I sure did!!!

I feel your pain Lovelychar.
They want me to come back up there every other month for them to apply my relaxer. She does a better job than I do of applying it of course but I lose so much hair when she's ripping through it.
A year long stretch with 4 inches of NG is impressive. My pitiful behind is crying at 10 weeks.

 

[NYAmicas]

OMG I would find anybody else to do my hair ASAP. That is crazy. And why would you relax a 3-year-old's hair? That is just insane. They can wear cute little natural styles so easily

I truly have no clue. I remember when the little girl had a cute braided style going on and it took me a second to realize it was weave. I'm thinking, this cute little girl could of had some long, lovely hair if it hadn't been relaxed. Now it looks like her edges are going too.

 

[Tamrin]

OMG I would find anybody else to do my hair ASAP. That is crazy. And why would you relax a 3-year-old's hair? That is just insane. They can wear cute little natural styles so easily

The perm will make her hair grow. Thats the logic.

 

[TriniStarr]

I had that same problem when it came to family, friends and co-workers. I am to the point that i do not say anything about hair care anymore. When ever any of my friends or family members come over, i put away ALL my products for them not to see them. So i do not have to hear their **** for real.

I will have ALL of them eating their words at the end of 2008 when i complete the LHCF Bootcamp and them my results.

 

[PuffyBrown]

Girl I know, I just got carried away because I finally found somebody using good products, hair looking good...I was starting to think that hey....she must be some kin to Nikko...

I had that same problem when it came to family, friends and co-workers. I am to the point that i do not say anything about hair care anymore. When ever any of my friends or family members come over, i put away ALL my products for them not to see them. So i do not have to hear their **** for real.

I will have ALL of them eating their words at the end of 2008 when i complete the LHCF Bootcamp and them my results.

 

[gone_fishing]

WHAT IN THE HEEZY?????
Four inches???????
That is one of the most absurd things i have heard
She seems soooo pushy.I don't like that at all.
Adequate,hike your skirt up and run!

She's the one who got me from where I am in my avatar to mid neck length. I just now got back to APL and she's trying to make me start over...again.

If she wasn't so great at doing a roller set I'd leave her alone but she IS listening to me even if she disagrees.

 

[*Luscious*Locked*Doc]

When I first joined this site I never realized why people said they wouldn't tell other people about their hair regimens until i learned the same exact lesson you did. You can't tell MOST BLACK women anything about their hair that they don't already know. I mean to this day I just listened to one girl who has tried to give me ridiculous advice about my hair (CO washing is bad for your hair) tell me today that she LOVES pink oil moisturizer which is a wonderful product if you want clogged pores and non-growing hair. She said and I quote "man this stuff gave me waves and i was so proud but you have to put a LOT of it on there to get that look." Eck! Really I think it comes down the the fact that black women are already so connected to their hair and the things they learn about taking care of their hair as a child carries over into adulthood and if you aren't open to changing then obviously you will bolt at the mention of gasp washing hair more than once a week! Especially once you have some credentials behind that name because now you know you are the stuff erplexed. Please....I learned to keep my mouth shut and let my hair do the talking....

 

[naturalmanenyc]

And this is why so many people have stopped going to "professionals" for hair care and are learning to DIY.

I have not been to a salon since September (before that was May) and in September it was just to have 3 tracks added for fullness. I later learned that that was even done wrong.

 

[JerriBlank]

this is my new analogy... a stylist is like a cosmetic surgeon. their expertise is making you look good, not necessarily about making you healthy.

If that ain't the truth!

 

[JerriBlank]

If that ain't the truth

She's the one who got me from where I am in my avatar to mid neck length. I just now got back to APL and she's trying to make me start over...again.

If she wasn't so great at doing a roller set I'd leave her alone but she IS listening to me even if she disagrees.[/QUOTE]

That sucks hard!!! She just up and cut your ish???

I feel you on the second bolded part though