Too scared to go natural

[Candy_C]

Are any of you relaxed, texlaxed, texturized, permed and just too scared to go natural?

what isit that yoir afraid of?

i'm afraid of having to cut my relaxed hair

i'm afraid of hating my natural hair

i'm afraid of not bein able to comb my hair

i'm afraid of the sterotype of young black chicks, relaxed hair is a must, unless you got some canerow skills or u wear sum pretty extensions...i cant even wear extensions my hair is so thick i look like a tree

 

[MiWay]

I am currently trying to stretch til April, and thinking about transitioning if that works out. I'm mainly concerned about styles for work since I'm in such a professional environment. I'm also afraid that I won't be able to manage all this "new" hair, and I definitely don't want to have to do a BC.

 

[Nanyanika]

I'm trying to go natural

Are any of you relaxed, texlaxed, texturized, permed and just too scared to go natural?

Texturized

what isit that yoir afraid of?
I'm afraid of having short hair and not being able to manage my coarse 4b natural hair.

 

[lonei]

I dont want to go natural now, I find my hair difficult to manage and at the moment I just prefer straight hair. I wouldn't really want to BC and I think i'd find transitioning frustrating considering that i have trouble dealing with my hair in a texlaxed state anyway. My mum however had relaxed hair for years and she decided to go natural a few years ago. She now has mid back length thin dread locks which I am considering growing in the future, plus her hair is so easy to wash and dry, she makes little bantu knots and goes under the dryer for like 20mins and it comes out all nice and curly. So my answer is not now, but maybe in the future.

 

[Candy_C]

I'm trying to go natural

Are any of you relaxed, texlaxed, texturized, permed and just too scared to go natural?

Texturized

what isit that yoir afraid of?
I'm afraid of having short hair and not being able to manage my coarse 4b natural hair.

me too! my hair was SOOOOOOOO thich and TUFF as a child. naturally wirey and DRYYYYYYYYYYYY liek a bone. and still i WANT to go natural. the reason is, i wanna be just how god made me, all pure and natural, i dont wanna be a slave to the relaxer anymore, i just wish my natural hair was the texture it is now

 

[Nanyanika]

me too! my hair was SOOOOOOOO thich and TUFF as a child. naturally wirey and DRYYYYYYYYYYYY liek a bone. and still i WANT to go natural. the reason is, i wanna be just how god made me, all pure and natural, i dont wanna be a slave to the relaxer anymore, i just wish my natural hair was the texture it is now

That's the reason why i texturized in the first place because my natural hair would be very hard to comb through and my ends were drying and breaking. i used a lot of protein back then and i don't want that to happen to my hair again. when i was little my hair was more soft curly but it changed after puberty. i personally hope to remain natural the way God intended too. it will be a long time before i consider b-cing.

 

[caligirl]

I can only speak about my hair. I've been transitioning now for almost 2 years. I love that my hair is thick and healthy. But it really is a lot of work for me. I only do it once a week because it takes me several hours from start to finish. I don't like the way my hair feels to the touch and I can barely get my fingers thru it. I can comb it but only if its wet and in small sections. I really wish that my hair was naturally soft and curly, which is why I'm considering a texturizer. I think that people with naturally softer, silkier hair will have a much easier time transitioning and being natural. Just my humble opinion, go head and throw stones.

 

[Nanyanika]

That's the reason why i texturized in the first place because my natural hair would be very hard to comb through and my ends were drying and breaking. i used a lot of protein back then and i don't want that to happen to my hair again. when i was little my hair was more soft curly but it changed after puberty. i personally hope to remain natural the way God intended too. it will be a long time before i consider b-cing.

Candy c do you take vitamins it'll probably help speed up your transition if you decide to?

 

[CurleeDST]

I work in a conservative corporate environment and interviewed for my position with the company with natural hair. If you are a true professional, your hair doesn't make a difference if you have skills.

I wear my hair natural now and was promoted to Director last April 2005 with natural hair. The styles I wear to work include shake n go's, puffs, twist outs, pony tails with low puff or I temporarily straighten it with the Maxiglide.

Black folks make more of a deal about natural hair than others b/c to "them" it all looks the same anyway.

I am currently trying to stretch til April, and thinking about transitioning if that works out. I'm mainly concerned about styles for work since I'm in such a professional environment. I'm also afraid that I won't be able to manage all this "new" hair, and I definitely don't want to have to do a BC.

 

[Nanyanika]

I can only speak about my hair. I've been transitioning now for almost 2 years. I love that my hair is thick and healthy. But it really is a lot of work for me. I only do it once a week because it takes me several hours from start to finish. I don't like the way my hair feels to the touch and I can barely get my fingers thru it. I can comb it but only if its wet and in small sections. I really wish that my hair was naturally soft and curly, which is why I'm considering a texturizer. I think that people with naturally softer, silkier hair will have a much easier time transitioning and being natural. Just my humble opinion, go head and throw stones.

Well personally I'm not going to throw stones, because your entitled to your own opinion and i respect that.

 

[Candy_C]

Candy c do you take vitamins it'll probably help speed up your transition if you decide to?

well hear this den1,

i've actually STOPPED taking the vitamins because the regrowth is getting very thick ,growing outwards an stuff and i cant physically handle it!, i feel like i'm ripping my hair out!

biotin is some very potent stuff!!!!!!
i know what you mean though. wen ifinally get the strength, me and biotin will be together 4 a long time

 

[NewYorkgyrl]

I am afraid too. I think about when I was little and my mom washing mmy hair and how much work it was to detangle it. i would cry so hard that I would cry myself to sleep.


Then I started thinking: maybe my mother was just not being tender enough with my head. My mother is known to have NO PATIENCE! So that maybe why it was so hard to detangle.

I don't believe alot of black women know about the RIGHT hair care. Maybe my mother was one of them. Was she using the right prducts??? I don't remember moisturizing my hair very often back then. Not every day. And if I did it was most likely with a hair grease like DAX or vaseline. Things I refuse to use in my hair know.

All of these things make me think that....maybe my natural hair is not as bad as I think it is. I had the length and the thickness. Things that my relaxed hair does not have (hence why I am on this forum).

I think another thing that scares me is it will not get as straight as I would like it when I want to wear my hair straight. it will not last long. And forget about the summer weather. I have not met (in person) one natural with 4a/b hair that was able to maintain a straight stle WITH NO PUFF here and there. And if I am gonna put heat in my hair to get it straight (which I do once a month) it better last at least a week.

So therefore maybe I am not ready right now. I don't know if I eer will be. I am seriously torn. I hate the fact that I relaxed last November after a 4 month stretch. I love how the natural hair was looking but it was such a pain to detangle and I know the transition would be worse. I refuse to BC.

I know that I will most likely go natural in the future.

 

[Nanyanika]

well hear this den1,

i've actually STOPPED taking the vitamins because the regrowth is getting very thick ,growing outwards an stuff and i cant physically handle it!, i feel like i'm ripping my hair out!

biotin is some very potent stuff!!!!!!
i know what you mean though. wen ifinally get the strength, me and biotin will be together 4 a long time

My hair is natural;ly thick, and i'm in braids and taking vitamins now for the last 5 weeks, my hair is getting thicker, i feel like crying, can you imagine the murder i have to endure when i go to comb my hair? pray for me girl

 

[Candy_C]

My hair is natural;ly thick, and i'm in braids and taking vitamins now for the last 5 weeks, my hair is getting thicker, i feel like crying, can you imagine the murder i have to endure when i go to comb my hair? pray for me girl

lololol oh maaaaan.

i would look so funny with natural hair uhandle your well.

i'm having flashbacks of the "doo doo" platts i had and being called Picky Head

to think i used 2 wish i was bald when i was a younger teen!!! now here i am trying to get longer hair.

 

[CurleeDST]

When going natural it requires us to take on a different mindset. You can't expect to use tools for straight hair on naturally curly or kinky hair. That is a set up for failure.

When going natural I took to styling more with my fingers b/c a rattail comb was not going to cut it and it was tear my hair out at the root. I do style while wet b/c styling while dry is also a set up for disaster.

I most recently started deep treating my hair on a more regular basis (weekly) vs. just washing and going and doing nothing else. I learned to treat it more gently so I stopped being so rough with it and tearing the curls apart at the clumps but gently working them apart.

It takes practice and patience but you won't regret making the decision b/c it is healthier for your hair, scalp and brain. Those chemicals are applied with gloves yet we put them on our scalp without real protection. Over time that has got to have an impact on your skin and scalp.

My best friend went natural by transitioning 18 months and she LOVES IT! She uses the maxiglide when she wants a straight look and could not be happier.

I can only speak about my hair. I've been transitioning now for almost 2 years. I love that my hair is thick and healthy. But it really is a lot of work for me. I only do it once a week because it takes me several hours from start to finish. I don't like the way my hair feels to the touch and I can barely get my fingers thru it. I can comb it but only if its wet and in small sections. I really wish that my hair was naturally soft and curly, which is why I'm considering a texturizer. I think that people with naturally softer, silkier hair will have a much easier time transitioning and being natural. Just my humble opinion, go head and throw stones.

 

[senimoni]

I'm not afraid per se, I just don't think its for me. I'd be spending way to much effort to make it straight...so there wouldn't really be a point in me doing it. Honestly if my hair was a little more uniform in texture I might would consider it. But everytime I get to 10+ weeks post I'm reminded why I don't think I'll ever go natural.

 

[Nanyanika]

lololol oh maaaaan.

i would look so funny with natural hair uhandle your well.

i'm having flashbacks of the "doo doo" platts i had and being called Picky Head

to think i used 2 wish i was bald when i was a younger teen!!! now here i am trying to get longer hair.

You should've seen my airdried big doo doo plaits i use to wear in two years ago when i was natural. My hair would be so matted after airdrying, thank God, i know how to handle my hair better thanks to LHCF. I remember clearly how People would use the name Picky head" in the most was terrible and hurtful way, to undermine, even up until the other day someone commented on how my hair was looking so nappy, i was so hurt by that.She was one of those people that belive straight/wavy hair is the prettiest texture. Its really sad

 

[ChildlikeEmpress]

When my hair was relaxed, I think the main reason I was afraid to go natural was because I didn't KNOW anything else. My hair had been either relaxed or pressed since I was five or six years old.

I was worried that people would stare at me -- that I would look weird, or something like that. That I wouldn't know what to do with it. But then again, I didn't do much with my relaxed hair besides put it in ponytails most of the time, anyway, so it wouldn't make much of a difference.

I was worried because I didn't have "good hair" (read: straight or wavy), and I believed on some level that only people with "good hair" were "allowed" to wear it in its natural state.

Then, one day, I just got sick of dealing with relaxers and being ashamed of my real hair. So, I did the BC and haven't looked back since. The funny thing is, I've gotten more compliments since I went natural than I did when I was perming... which just goes to show I was worried for nothing as far as appearance goes. I also enjoy being able to wash/wet/condition my hair whenever I want, the absence of that nasty chemical smell, not having to fear or deal with scalp burns, the sense of not hiding anymore, etc.

All in all, going natural was one of my best decisions. The only real drawback is that my hair is VERY thick and coarse and as much as I like the way it looks, it can be hard to manage sometimes.

~R. :Rose:

 

[CurleeDST]

I think part of the beauty with going natural is embracing the natural texture of the curls, kinks and waves so while being straight is an option, it is not perceived as the ultimate objective.

I'm not afraid per se, I just don't think its for me. I'd be spending way to much effort to make it straight...so there wouldn't really be a point in me doing it. Honestly if my hair was a little more uniform in texture I might would consider it. But everytime I get to 10+ weeks post I'm reminded why I don't think I'll ever go natural.

 

[HairPhoenix]

This is long, but I gotta tell you...

I used to have the same fears about going natural and I am still struggling with the decision because I am not completely there yet. I am transitioning. There are days when I feel like maybe I should just relax it and there are days when I want to just cut it all off. I have 3" new growth with about 1 1/2" past shoulder length and some days it is hell.

I remembered this morning, while I was washing my hair, that about a year ago I actually admitted to myself that I hated my natural hair. I just hated the way that it messed up the way my relaxed hair behaved. I love swimming without worrying about my hair and the feel of the wind blowing my hair around. I love being able to do smooth, elegant up dos. But I realized that it all came with a price. I f&*#@%g hate getting my scalp burned by those chemicals!! At some point at the end of last summer I decided that I had enough of that.

Once I spent some time talking to other women and lurking through LHCF, I began to feel differently about my natural hair. I was learning that there are better ways to take care of my natural hair and their are better products on the market for my natural hair. So I decided to take the plunge... well, not exactly. I don't want no TWA. I'm trying to grow my natural hair out enough before I cut the ends off. And that is not fun!

But I realized as I washed my hair this morning that since I started thinking differently about my natural hair, it has become the relaxed ends that I now hate. Those are what's causing me so much trouble these days. It's the dealing with two textures that drives me mad! I know what to do for my natural hair, but those tangles in the relaxed hair are a pain.

I said all this to tell you that those fears are going to be with you. No matter how strong you are there will be times when you second guess your hair decisions, whether you decide to keep relaxing, texturizing, or go natural, because of what you have been taught about your hair. It's alright if you want to continue with relaxers. At least you know through this forum how to take better care of your relaxed hair. If you are not ready yet, then that's all it means... you're just not ready.

And when you are ready, you know where to come to find the support that you need. LHCF!!

(I know, I know... HairPhoenix shut up. You say too much!! )

 

[shellzfoshizzle]

That was well written HairPhoenix. Actually, this week I have been second guessing my transition. This is the week where I am TIRED of doing my hair. Tired of surging. Tired of MTG'ing and it staining my jewelry. Tired of doing rollersets and buns. I was thinking of relaxing but then I know that I would be REALLY REALLY mad at myself. I know that this is just a hump in the road for me and I am going to get over it.

Are any of you relaxed, texlaxed, texturized, permed and just too scared to go natural?

I am relaxed and on my way to being natural

What is it that you are afraid of?

I am afraid of not knowing how to do any natural styles. I can't cornroll or twist as it is now.

 

[Candy_C]

This is long, but I gotta tell you...

I used to have the same fears about going natural and I am still struggling with the decision because I am not completely there yet. I am transitioning. There are days when I feel like maybe I should just relax it and there are days when I want to just cut it all off. I have 3" new growth with about 1 1/2" past shoulder length and some days it is hell.

I remembered this morning, while I was washing my hair, that about a year ago I actually admitted to myself that I hated my natural hair. I just hated the way that it messed up the way my relaxed hair behaved. I love swimming without worrying about my hair and the feel of the wind blowing my hair around. I love being able to do smooth, elegant up dos. But I realized that it all came with a price. I f&*#@%g hate getting my scalp burned by those chemicals!! At some point at the end of last summer I decided that I had enough of that.

Once I spent some time talking to other women and lurking through LHCF, I began to feel differently about my natural hair. I was learning that there are better ways to take care of my natural hair and their are better products on the market for my natural hair. So I decided to take the plunge... well, not exactly. I don't want no TWA. I'm trying to grow my natural hair out enough before I cut the ends off. And that is not fun!

But I realized as I washed my hair this morning that since I started thinking differently about my natural hair, it has become the relaxed ends that I now hate. Those are what's causing me so much trouble these days. It's the dealing with two textures that drives me mad! I know what to do for my natural hair, but those tangles in the relaxed hair are a pain.

I said all this to tell you that those fears are going to be with you. No matter how strong you are there will be times when you second guess your hair decisions, whether you decide to keep relaxing, texturizing, or go natural, because of what you have been taught about your hair. It's alright if you want to continue with relaxers. At least you know through this forum how to take better care of your relaxed hair. If you are not ready yet, then that's all it means... you're just not ready.

And when you are ready, you know where to come to find the support that you need. LHCF!!

(I know, I know... HairPhoenix shut up. You say too much!! )

ahhhh that as so heartwarming to read!!!

i can understand how your fed up with the relaxed ends now!

i kno if i chopped my hair off now, i would have about 2 inches of hair all around my head. i just cant imagine me with hair like that. i wish relaxers wern't so permanent, its sad really! having to start all over again cos of sum smelly cream!


when i am older i know for sure i will stop relaxing for the simple fact of getting older and just to experience natural hair once more b4 i die..sounds melodramatic really. i should make a film about hair in media class and just how important it is.

 

[CurleeDST]

Excellent post.

This is long, but I gotta tell you...

I used to have the same fears about going natural and I am still struggling with the decision because I am not completely there yet. I am transitioning. There are days when I feel like maybe I should just relax it and there are days when I want to just cut it all off. I have 3" new growth with about 1 1/2" past shoulder length and some days it is hell.

I remembered this morning, while I was washing my hair, that about a year ago I actually admitted to myself that I hated my natural hair. I just hated the way that it messed up the way my relaxed hair behaved. I love swimming without worrying about my hair and the feel of the wind blowing my hair around. I love being able to do smooth, elegant up dos. But I realized that it all came with a price. I f&*#@%g hate getting my scalp burned by those chemicals!! At some point at the end of last summer I decided that I had enough of that.

Once I spent some time talking to other women and lurking through LHCF, I began to feel differently about my natural hair. I was learning that there are better ways to take care of my natural hair and their are better products on the market for my natural hair. So I decided to take the plunge... well, not exactly. I don't want no TWA. I'm trying to grow my natural hair out enough before I cut the ends off. And that is not fun!

But I realized as I washed my hair this morning that since I started thinking differently about my natural hair, it has become the relaxed ends that I now hate. Those are what's causing me so much trouble these days. It's the dealing with two textures that drives me mad! I know what to do for my natural hair, but those tangles in the relaxed hair are a pain.

I said all this to tell you that those fears are going to be with you. No matter how strong you are there will be times when you second guess your hair decisions, whether you decide to keep relaxing, texturizing, or go natural, because of what you have been taught about your hair. It's alright if you want to continue with relaxers. At least you know through this forum how to take better care of your relaxed hair. If you are not ready yet, then that's all it means... you're just not ready.

And when you are ready, you know where to come to find the support that you need. LHCF!!

(I know, I know... HairPhoenix shut up. You say too much!! )

 

[sylver2]

Lately I have been thinking about transiitioning like crazy.
Only because I have learned so many techniques that would help me take care of my natural hair. So now I'm weighing pros and cons.
I don't want to do a big chop. Also I am stretching right now without even thinking about it. I'm 15 weeks and haven't been to salon yet cause I just don't want to pay $85 to get a touchup anymore. i don't know...yet.
One thing I know is I love the bone straight thin hair look on me, but lately I have been wearing it wavy or braidouts and I like that too...so who knows. I know I want to do it, just don't know when, Maybe a couple more years

 

[Candy_C]

Lately I have been thinking about transiitioning like crazy.
Only because I have learned so many techniques that would help me take care of my natural hair. So now I'm weighing pros and cons.
I don't want to do a big chop. Also I am stretching right now without even thinking about it. I'm 15 weeks and haven't been to salon yet cause I just don't want to pay $85 to get a touchup anymore. i don't know...yet.
One thing I know is I love the bone straight thin hair look on me, but lately I have been wearing it wavy or braidouts and I like that too...so who knows. I know I want to do it, just don't know when, Maybe a couple more years

i was thinking about your 26 week stretch earlier. u are so good for doing that. i'm 12 weeks and its getting HARD!

natural hair is probabley more fun. you can dye it, without worrying so much like with relaxed hair. cornrows without thinking about the "dercation line" hmmm i' malso in braidouts, i hate heat now, i hate my hair straight for more then a day i miss the waves that airdryed relaxed hair creates. i'm under the impression that my hair would look short even if long when i'm natural. i duno but i wouldn't like the shrinkage i guess

 

[Divine Inspiration]

I can only speak about my hair. I've been transitioning now for almost 2 years. I love that my hair is thick and healthy. But it really is a lot of work for me. I only do it once a week because it takes me several hours from start to finish. I don't like the way my hair feels to the touch and I can barely get my fingers thru it. I can comb it but only if its wet and in small sections. I really wish that my hair was naturally soft and curly, which is why I'm considering a texturizer. I think that people with naturally softer, silkier hair will have a much easier time transitioning and being natural. Just my humble opinion, go head and throw stones.

ITA and I'm having similar doubts.

 

[HairPhoenix]

ahhhh that as so heartwarming to read!!!

i can understand how your fed up with the relaxed ends now!

i kno if i chopped my hair off now, i would have about 2 inches of hair all around my head. i just cant imagine me with hair like that. i wish relaxers wern't so permanent, its sad really! having to start all over again cos of sum smelly cream!


when i am older i know for sure i will stop relaxing for the simple fact of getting older and just to experience natural hair once more b4 i die..sounds melodramatic really. i should make a film about hair in media class and just how important it is.

I think a film about the importance of hair is a good idea. People may say that women obsess over their hair, but it is a very important part of you. I agonized for nearly 4 mos before deciding to transition simply because I knew that making the wrong decision could be traumatic. As weird as it may sound, your hair can become your friend. When it's not doing well, you may feel bad. When it's looking great, you may have the time of your life. And when no one else likes it but you, it may give you comfort.

Hey! There's your plot right there!

 

[Sweetyb]

Just my humble opinion, go head and throw stones.

lol, girl I personally agree with you . I have 4a hair and it's truly been a journey, but one that I never want to end .

 

[CinnaMocha]

I wouldn't say that I am afraid to go natural, I just find it easier to manage my hair relaxed. I have thin hair, and when I did have it natural I usually ended up pressing it or wearing back in one (then where the days I used all that horrible gel, and didn't get past chin length).

However, now that I think about, if I ever did decided to go natural it may be a chore dealing with it at a longer length.

 

[Isis]

I don't feel scared at all about the thought of going natural. I'm learning how to master the best haircare I can with what I have. I see stretching my hair as being like a "mini" transition and I love that I can do this successfully. I also love that fact that ladies such as Sylver2 can successfully stretch their hair 26 weeks or longer which is also like a transition.

So far, since my hair isn't relaxed straight (more texlaxed), I wear my hair in natural styles so the idea of going natural isn't quite a stretch (so to speak).