Too scared to go natural

[CurleeDST]

There is a young lady on another napptural hair board who has gorgeously long, thick, lush natural hair. When stretched it is almost waist length. I look at her album for inspiration b/c honestly, big, beautiful, kinky hair is da bomb!!!!!!

I have big hair so I don't try and find it any longer, I embrace it which is what it is all about.......accepting the cards you were dealt and loving it. I have no problem with relaxers. Matter of fact, many women on this board have gorgeous heads of relaxed hair. The styling and maintenance wows me every time b/c all hair require time, patience and love.

But to that end, I also understand how many of us were traumatized as children for having naturally kinky hair. From the hot combs, to name calling to God knows what else - many women carry that around today which is why some black women despise even the look of natural hair. That is why many of us complain that natural hair is harder to maintain than relaxed. In all reality it really isn't. I can go in the rain without an umbrella and not worry about my style frizzing up or getting wet. Who cares, it will still look the same. I go on vacation and jump in the water any and every time and easily wash my hair afterwards, style and go. It still looks great with the kinks and curls popping all over. Wash and go's are just so easy it should be a sin!

No fooling with hot appliances coaxing my hair to do something it just doesn't want to do on a regular basis. I do straighten w/ my Maxiglide now and again for a change up. Either way it is all good but natural hair is NOTHING to be frightened of. Beauticians and manufacturers want us to stay afraid so they can keep selling us on the LIE/LYE or however you want to spell it!

 

[Mestiza]

I wouldn't say that I'm afraid of going natural.

Previously, I thought that I would go on and transition to natural. I love my natural hair, but, I prefer the straight look on me. I'm just awful at doing a rollerset, which, takes way too long, as well as blowdrying my hair straight. I might as well just continue to lightly relax my hair and airdry, which, keeps it straight w/o doing anything else to it.

 

[caligirl]

But to that end, I also understand how many of us were traumatized as children for having naturally kinky hair. From the hot combs, to name calling to God knows what else - many women carry that around today which is why some black women despise even the look of natural hair. /QUOTE]

I was definitely traumatized in high school. Called every name in the book for having natural hair. But I truly love the look of natural hair, its just that my hair is a JOB. Even if I wanted to wear it in a nice afro, its still a job. Maybe I should just be thankful that I have such thick hair.

 

[Cheleigh]

I have big hair so I don't try and find it any longer, I embrace it which is what it is all about.......accepting the cards you were dealt and loving it. I have no problem with relaxers. Matter of fact, many women on this board have gorgeous heads of relaxed hair. The styling and maintenance wows me every time b/c all hair require time, patience and love.

But to that end, I also understand how many of us were traumatized as children for having naturally kinky hair. From the hot combs, to name calling to God knows what else - many women carry that around today which is why some black women despise even the look of natural hair. That is why many of us complain that natural hair is harder to maintain than relaxed. In all reality it really isn't. I can go in the rain without an umbrella and not worry about my style frizzing up or getting wet. Who cares, it will still look the same. I go on vacation and jump in the water any and every time and easily wash my hair afterwards, style and go. It still looks great with the kinks and curls popping all over. Wash and go's are just so easy it should be a sin!

No fooling with hot appliances coaxing my hair to do something it just doesn't want to do on a regular basis. I do straighten w/ my Maxiglide now and again for a change up. Either way it is all good but natural hair is NOTHING to be frightened of. Beauticians and manufacturers want us to stay afraid so they can keep selling us on the LIE/LYE or however you want to spell it!

This is well written, and ITA. I am starting my 44 week transitioning, and it is not nearly as difficult as I thought it would be. I don't know how to do natural styles yet either really, but I figure that it will take time to learn. My parents didn't really know how to handle my hair (they washed with shampoo, used that black rubber comb to comb out, didn't use conditioner at all, and didn't wash my hair in sections). Sometimes my natural hair is curly and coily, other times kinky and nappy, and I love it all.

 

[locabouthair]

i just wanted to say that detangling/ combing natural hair isn't as hard as it may seem. the key is to do it when your hair is wet, if you try to comb when its dry you will have some problems. i dont have any problems detangling my natural hair because i do it when its wet and i have thick, nappy hair. if i can anyone can. so don't let the detangling issue scare you.
i am actually in the opposite position. i am contemplating a relaxer and i am so scared of perming my hair.

 

[Sistaslick]

\I am starting my 44 week transitioning, and it is not nearly as difficult as I thought it would be.

WOW! what a transition!

 

[Country gal]

I work in a conservative corporate environment and interviewed for my position with the company with natural hair. If you are a true professional, your hair doesn't make a difference if you have skills.

I wear my hair natural now and was promoted to Director last April 2005 with natural hair. The styles I wear to work include shake n go's, puffs, twist outs, pony tails with low puff or I temporarily straighten it with the Maxiglide.

Black folks make more of a deal about natural hair than others b/c to "them" it all looks the same anyway.

So on point. I made a bigger deal and other black coworkers than the white folks. Once I accepted my natural hair than other came around. I get lots of positive comments from co workers despite being in a very conservative environment.

 

[Country gal]

i just wanted to say that detangling/ combing natural hair isn't as hard as it may seem. the key is to do it when your hair is wet, if you try to comb when its dry you will have some problems. i dont have any problems detangling my natural hair because i do it when its wet and i have thick, nappy hair. if i can anyone can. so don't let the detangling issue scare you.
i am actually in the opposite position. i am contemplating a relaxer and i am so scared of perming my hair.

I was afraid of the detangling issues. I use a really good detangler by Biolage. Conditioner washes really help with the detangling issue too. I can comb my natural hair when wet easily.

 

[Country gal]

There is a young lady on another napptural hair board who has gorgeously long, thick, lush natural hair. When stretched it is almost waist length. I look at her album for inspiration b/c honestly, big, beautiful, kinky hair is da bomb!!!!!!

I have big hair so I don't try and find it any longer, I embrace it which is what it is all about.......accepting the cards you were dealt and loving it. I have no problem with relaxers. Matter of fact, many women on this board have gorgeous heads of relaxed hair. The styling and maintenance wows me every time b/c all hair require time, patience and love.

But to that end, I also understand how many of us were traumatized as children for having naturally kinky hair. From the hot combs, to name calling to God knows what else - many women carry that around today which is why some black women despise even the look of natural hair. That is why many of us complain that natural hair is harder to maintain than relaxed. In all reality it really isn't. I can go in the rain without an umbrella and not worry about my style frizzing up or getting wet. Who cares, it will still look the same. I go on vacation and jump in the water any and every time and easily wash my hair afterwards, style and go. It still looks great with the kinks and curls popping all over. Wash and go's are just so easy it should be a sin!

No fooling with hot appliances coaxing my hair to do something it just doesn't want to do on a regular basis. I do straighten w/ my Maxiglide now and again for a change up. Either way it is all good but natural hair is NOTHING to be frightened of. Beauticians and manufacturers want us to stay afraid so they can keep selling us on the LIE/LYE or however you want to spell it!

Girl, you are saying everything I want to say on this "topic. Another great post.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

I'm transitioning and I would advise anyone who is thinking about going natural to really consider what their hair goals are because the dirty little transitioner secret is that many of us constantly think about perming our hair. Especially once there is enough new growth to affect how you style your hair.

It's always tempting to go back to what you know.

I've been transitioning since 03/05, and it's not easy. Between months 2 and 6 I constantly thought about perming. After the 6th month I saw enough progress and texture of my natural hair to know that I could work with it. Now I struggle with the temptation to BC, but I'm not at all comfortable with the styling options available with 4 inches of shrunken natural hair. (I can't braid/twist with extensions and I've sworn off stylists.)

All of this is to say that unless you're one of those people who is militantly in favor of going natural, then its probable that transitioning will cause second, third and fourth thoughts on whether you're doing the right thing. But if you can stay focused on what your original goals are then you will make it through.

 

[FlowerHair]

This is a very interesting thread and I do think that what many posters say are true for many black women out there...
1. We are not taught how to deal with natural hair from the start
2. We experienced pain/fear/negative feelings when we were children and had our natural hair combed or washed
3. Society in general tells us that straight hair is the most beautiful, wavy/curly second and coily hair last...at least Black society tells us that in my experience...
4. Relaxed hair can be just another styling option, there doesn't have to be anymore to it than that.

I admire everyone for being honest.

 

[MiWay]

I work in a conservative corporate environment and interviewed for my position with the company with natural hair. If you are a true professional, your hair doesn't make a difference if you have skills.

I wear my hair natural now and was promoted to Director last April 2005 with natural hair. The styles I wear to work include shake n go's, puffs, twist outs, pony tails with low puff or I temporarily straighten it with the Maxiglide.

Black folks make more of a deal about natural hair than others b/c to "them" it all looks the same anyway.

Good points... Since I'm the one that does the interviewing, I always feel like I have to look a certain way, especially on those days when I'm interviewing the "higher ups". But if these people have issues with me, it's probably more because I'm black, or I'm young, or I'm a woman...not because of my hair. I definitely agree that we put more pressure on ourselves to look a certain way when "they" don't really care, as long as you do your job.

 

[so1913]

I work in a conservative corporate environment and interviewed for my position with the company with natural hair. If you are a true professional, your hair doesn't make a difference if you have skills.

I wear my hair natural now and was promoted to Director last April 2005 with natural hair. The styles I wear to work include shake n go's, puffs, twist outs, pony tails with low puff or I temporarily straighten it with the Maxiglide.

Black folks make more of a deal about natural hair than others b/c to "them" it all looks the same anyway.

Agreed. I worked at a Big 5 accounting firm and interviewed for other positions, got a new job, all while wearing my hair in it's natural state. It didn't make sense for me to straighten my hair or put on a "front" during my interview thinking that that would have some type of effect on me getting a job, and if it did, that wasn't the kind of place I wanted to work at. Shoot, everyone else can wear their hair in its natural state without concern, why can't we?

 

[Country gal]

Growing Natural hair is really a mental process. I once had a stylist tell me that I still had a relaxed mind. I was obsessing about my hair. She told me "it is what it is". Once I accepted my hair for what it is, than the process became much easier. I had been debating going natural for years. I didn't just jump on the bandwagon when others started doing it. I had really thought the process out first before transitioning. I was getting mild perms so I was like why not just go all the way. A little bit of chemical is still a chemical so it made more sense for me to go natural. I definitely had my ups and downs during my transition. I had the crazy hair moments becuase I was dealing with two different textures. Someone made a good point about having defined hair goals. My goals are to have healthy, long, natural hair.

 

[DDTexlaxed]

My natural hair was curly and thick. I felt overwhelmed with it because I lacked styling skills. This depressed me to the point where I relaxed my hair. My natural hair was easier to care for and it was alot more healthy. I will definitely be BCING ang going natural again. I now see that my natural hair suits me and that letting other people relax my hair leads to more damage. Lesson learned - time to transition. This time I will surround myself with more positive people and cut off the haters.

 

[brownhaired_bonanza]

Scared of being natural isn't the problem for me. The problem is learning how to do all those elaborate styles to keep it looking neat. I'm talking cornrows--I can't do, bantu knots-- I can't do, flat twists-- I can... well, you get the point. I love so many natural styles that I see but frankly speaking, I have 2 left hands and there's no way my hair would be lookin THAT good. And the whole "learning by trial and error" dealie doesn't work for me. I have to go out in public and I'd want my natural hair looking good from day one. Maybe I'm asking to much I dunno, but that's how I feel.

 

[Divine Inspiration]

Scared of being natural isn't the problem for me. The problem is learning how to do all those elaborate styles to keep it looking neat. I'm talking cornrows--I can't do, bantu knots-- I can't do, flat twists-- I can... well, you get the point. I love so many natural styles that I see but frankly speaking, I have 2 left hands and there's no way my hair would be lookin THAT good. And the whole "learning by trial and error" dealie doesn't work for me. I have to go out in public and I'd want my natural hair looking good from day one. Maybe I'm asking to much I dunno, but that's how I feel.

I feel the same way. I think once I'm older, I won't be as concerned with neatness of it, but right now, I would be beyond frustrated trying to achieve the styles and looks I see on other naturals.

 

[Victorian]

Compared to fully relaxed and fully natural, my hair required the most effort while I was transitioning, so transitioners should keep that in mind and not be discouraged by tangles and such. I have to detangle differently now than when I was relaxed, but it isn't any more difficult. I find my hair easier to deal with as it gets longer because I can make a ponytail more easily and I can detangle it faster (contrary to what I expected).

I went natural because I wanted to be more independent with my hair but I was apprehensive about learning to relax it myself. I wanted my haircare to be simpler.

Elaborate/complicated is SO not my style. I can't flat twist or cornrow, plus I can't part straight to save my life. I don't feel any inclination to keep my hair in braids or twists. I don't want to wear locs. I don't want to wear my hair picked/combed/brushed out because that's too much work and I fear damage to my ends, plus I happen to really like my little coils. I never wanted to wear my hair short, in a twa (hence the year and a half of transitioning).

I just want my hair to be healthy, long, and manageable. I'd like to be able to mess with it and do something different when I'm in the mood, but mostly I just need it to match my definition of "cute" on a daily basis without me having to work too hard. When I was relaxed I sang mostly to the tune of "Variations on a Ponytail." Now that I'm natural it's "Variations on a Wash and Go Puff." It looks different but it's really the same thing and the same (small) amount of effort. No long hours or bad hair days required.
Not once during my transition or since being all natural have I considered relaxing again. What I want (healthy, long manageable hair) doesn't require a relaxer, which would only serve to complicate my hair routine. And in that respect I agree with those who mentioned that keeping your goals in mind is important when you are transitioning.

 

[kristina]

Scared of being natural isn't the problem for me. The problem is learning how to do all those elaborate styles to keep it looking neat. I'm talking cornrows--I can't do, bantu knots-- I can't do, flat twists-- I can... well, you get the point. I love so many natural styles that I see but frankly speaking, I have 2 left hands and there's no way my hair would be lookin THAT good. And the whole "learning by trial and error" dealie doesn't work for me. I have to go out in public and I'd want my natural hair looking good from day one. Maybe I'm asking to much I dunno, but that's how I feel.

I'm still struggling with this but one way to deal is to be a one trick pony- master one style and go back to it when you need to look put together and then play around on the weekends. That way you don't have to announce to everybody that you don't know how to do your hair. Mine are tiny twists and blowdry ponytail puffs.

 

[carmella25]

I was once natural 3 years ago. I want to go back but I just remember how hard it was for me to comb my hair because it was so thick.

But I miss the strength of my natural hair. I dont know what to do. Im tired of relaxing myself again. It getting harder for me to self relax because is growing so long. I dont want to lose the length of brastrap that I have achieved. But then I dont know. Im thinking about trimming a little at a time.

Im not sure Im confused. What do you guys think I should do?

 

[CurleeDST]

Natural hair isn't hard to comb. Don't use a comb used on straight hair b/c that isn't made for curlier hair (assuming your hair is curly when natural).

Finger combing is excellent.

I was once natural 3 years ago. I want to go back but I just remember how hard it was for me to comb my hair because it was so thick.

But I miss the strength of my natural hair. I dont know what to do. Im tired of relaxing myself again. It getting harder for me to self relax because is growing so long. I dont want to lose the length of brastrap that I have achieved. But then I dont know. Im thinking about trimming a little at a time.

Im not sure Im confused. What do you guys think I should do?

 

[naturaline]

i was kinda scared to go natural. the first time i tryed it i had to turn back and relax cus the new growth was tick! but sept 04 i just went 4 it and my new growth has gotten softer and softer- i wash it every 4/7days and keep it Moist!
as a child my hair was elbow length and sooo think it could easier be shared between three heads (no joke) i used to cry just looking at the comb! because iv been relaxing it for like 10years now its changed in curl pattern so the course but still very thick.

im Go glad i went natural... i feel like im being true to myself

 

[SandySea]

I've been considering going natural again for about the last year. I fear the humidity in Florida, especially where I live. I also worry about styling. I am going to be entering a very conservative profession soon, and I worry about how I'd where my hair, especially since I won't have much time to dedicate to styling. Also, it feels like it would take forever to grow a good length of natural hair. But, I'm starting to feel that natural is the only safe way to go since I have soft, fine hair.

 

[deeshortesthair]

this is a cartoon from natrually you mag fits the thread

http://www.naturallyyoumagazine.com/funstuff/val-and-nadine-natural-hair-comic.html#

 

[CurleeDST]

I am a Director in a very conservative Republican-ridden environment with natural hair. I sometimes straighten it with my Maxiglide or I wear my POWER PUFF or my magic mushroom (as my husband loves to call it) t owork pulled back with a silk scarf headband. I have NEVER had anyone confront me about my hair who were not BLACK PEOPLE! Those black people, who were once my peers, now report to me so isn't karma something?

If you have highly sought after skills in your profession then your hair will be inconsequential as long as it is neat. As a Director I care about results - not necessarily what you wear to work as long as it fits within our corporate dress code and not how you wear your hair - as long as I can't smell it from across the room or when you walk by b/c it isn't clean.

I've been considering going natural again for about the last year. I fear the humidity in Florida, especially where I live. I also worry about styling. I am going to be entering a very conservative profession soon, and I worry about how I'd where my hair, especially since I won't have much time to dedicate to styling. Also, it feels like it would take forever to grow a good length of natural hair. But, I'm starting to feel that natural is the only safe way to go since I have soft, fine hair.

 

[Gryphyn]

this is a cartoon from natrually you mag fits the thread

http://www.naturallyyoumagazine.com/funstuff/val-and-nadine-natural-hair-comic.html#

Those comics are so true!

 

[beyondcute]

Black folks make more of a deal about natural hair than others b/c to "them" it all looks the same anyway

(thats a qoute)

Okay here I am so put in my 2 cents. I feel as though Im perpetrating by relaxing my hair. Some days I see the long flowing locks of other sistah and long for it but then I think back to WHY I like the look. Short and kinky was not the girl that got all the valentines. What is so wrong with my hair? I spent HOURS upon HOURS and DOLLAR upon DOLLAR tring to buy this and that and do this and that with my hair. Even with the $80 relaxer it still wasnt 'right.' Till one day I figured who the hell said it was wrong? ANd who are they to tell me my hair AINT RIGHT?! I wish someone would tell me now that my hair aint right.... It IS right however I choose to wear it. It doesnt need to be permanently changed, scarred or damaged. Im done with the LYE/LIE and the texturizer (I dont know who said my hair didnt have texture before )

 

[pretty-girl#1]

I have read this entire thread and decided to share my story! I was once scared too. I have been relaxed since age 4/5 and didn't consider natural until i found lhcf. i would relax my hair every month because I was PROGRAMMED to believe nappy hair was bad! I remember being a child and everyone telling me I had 'Good" hair, but I was tender headed as F^%$! My mother relaxed my hair to spite me for being a crybaby when she combed my hair because it was too thick. My first few relaxers didn't take because my hair was too curly, but ova the years It got fairly straight. When I came to the forum I found support for my hair problems. I didn't transition on purpose @ first. I was only trying to streatch my relaxer. Once I realized how B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L my natural hair was, I couldn't part with it ever again! I've been transitioning for nine months. I must admit, It isn't easy transitioning because after being relaxer programmed for so long you sometimes have draw-back symptoms. I look at LHCF as my relaxer rehab. Every time It gets hard I look in some natural albums and they get my mind right! I'm so excited about going natural and I'm not skerred of anything. Even when I was relaxed I had to use heat to get my hair frizz free and straight, so I may as well not even relax my hair. And yes, you can have a silky wrap with natural hair and noone will be able to tell you're natural, and they do last! I think what I want most with my natural hair, is versitility. I want to be straight some days, and curly on others. Sorry if this was too long!

 

[BerrySweet]

Are any of you relaxed, texlaxed, texturized, permed and just too scared to go natural?

what isit that yoir afraid of? Not being able to style my hair. I'm just style-challenged, and can barely get rollers in my relaxed head.

i'm afraid of having to cut my relaxed hair

I'm not sure what my natural texture will look like, even though I know what my hair "type" is, it's different all over. What would that look like??

i'm afraid of not bein able to comb my hair...having to constantly detangle my relxaed hair is bad enough, I don't know if natural hair would be easier or harder.

I've only just been growing my hair about a yr, and it's nice to finally have healthy hair. I'd like to continue on with what I'm doing before I change it up.

 

[Michelle79]

I just read this entire thread.....great stories ladies!! I'm contemplating transitioning now & I am so afraid because I don't know how to care for natural hair.