WHEN PEOPLE IN THE CHURCH DESTROY YOUR MARRIAGE

[taytay86]

Ladies:

A friend of mine recently found out that her spouse who is a prime figure in the church slept with the pastors whoring daughter. The sad part about it is when she went to the pastor and first lady, they didn’t offer any support as their main concern was “how it would look on the ministry” and wanted her to keep quiet. Telling her as a minister's wife, she's going to go through things like this and she needs to suck it up. I'M SORRY - WHAT???

It's hard seeing someone go through this!!! Trust me, I could feel her pain. What makes it worse is chick use to want my man for years before I came in the picture - so the way I look at it is, that could be me. I mean, it's one thing to sleep with a married man and not know his wife and family because then there is no attachment. But when you are at this woman's house, playing with her kids and sleeping with her man, it becomes a problem. Hot joke is, her man goes to the church also and was friends with said minister. And yes, he knows. I shouldn't be trying to get away from slackness in the world, only to find it in the church! I'm settin' up for her today though - better believe that.

This “sweep it under the rug” mentality a lot of these churches have is DISGUSTING and I am utterly shocked and applaud at their response – what ever happened to marriage counseling from the church? Does it only apply when they have nothing to do with your marriage issues? Everything they preach about love and relationships is a lie.

I think I’m going to begin praise and worship in my own living room, because I’m NOT a hypocrite.

Lord have mercy.

 

[Livingmylifetothefullest]

The church (not all but some) is no different than many places, its corrupt. I'm sorry to say that but it's true.

 

[BeautifulFlower]

Thats crazy and definitely tells about the ministry there. Of course not all churches are like this but you can to watch out for the churches that profess the gospel and turn a blind eye to sin. I'd say Call Them Out (in the name of Jesus) and find a new church.

 

[Caramel Hottie UK]

Ive found Churches (the ones ive gone to) to be quite like school, there are a lot of circles, the popular's and the normies. If anything wrong happens within those circle's then its okay, but if a regular person does something everybody wants to drag them to the alter. There were many issues within my Church that kept on getting swept under the carpet because it involved families of those who were high in the ministry. When these situations involved someone else, that person was always made out to be the one in the wrong, regardless of the situation.

Im sorry this happened to your friend, but i am not at all surprised. I now choose to worship in my own way because i cant deal with Church drama taking away my focus x

 

[GV-NA-GI-TLV-GE-I]

I think I’m going to begin praise and worship in my own living room, because I’m NOT a hypocrite.

Lord have mercy.

G-d asks you to worship in community. There's too much of this "individualism" going on in general. But I do know what you mean. And it's not only the hierarchy that pushes it conveniently under the cover....people in the community will know something is going on and be silent about it. And yes, these fraudulent "pious" ones are all smiley in your face, attending religious services alongside you...while shtooping your husband in the corner. Disgusting.... Gotta think of it this way, tho, who do they serve?

 

[msa]

Ladies:

A friend of mine recently found out that her spouse who is a prime figure in the church slept with the pastors whoring daughter.

Ummmmm.......

 

[BrooklynSouth]

Ladies:

A friend of mine recently found out that her spouse who is a prime figure in the church slept with the pastors whoring daughter. The sad part about it is when she went to the pastor and first lady, they didn’t offer any support as their main concern was “how it would look on the ministry” and wanted her to keep quiet. Telling her as a minister's wife, she's going to go through things like this and she needs to suck it up. I'M SORRY - WHAT???

It's hard seeing someone go through this!!! Trust me, I could feel her pain. What makes it worse is chick use to want my man for years before I came in the picture - so the way I look at it is, that could be me. I mean, it's one thing to sleep with a married man and not know his wife and family because then there is no attachment. But when you are at this woman's house, playing with her kids and sleeping with her man, it becomes a problem. Hot joke is, her man goes to the church also and was friends with said minister. And yes, he knows. I shouldn't be trying to get away from slackness in the world, only to find it in the church! I'm settin' up for her today though - better believe that.

This “sweep it under the rug” mentality a lot of these churches have is DISGUSTING and I am utterly shocked and applaud at their response – what ever happened to marriage counseling from the church? Does it only apply when they have nothing to do with your marriage issues? Everything they preach about love and relationships is a lie.

I think I’m going to begin praise and worship in my own living room, because I’m NOT a hypocrite.

Lord have mercy.

Find another church to fellowship with; these folk will feel the wrath sooner than later.

 

[Laela]

The title of your thread caught my attention: NO ONE can destroy anyone's marriage if the two people involved won't let this happen. That said,


I see this young woman has always been causing a stir...

But what about this "husband" who violated his vows? Not to defend her, but this young woman didn't violate any vows... Seems he should also be chastised and there doesn't seem to be any concern for his behavior. I don't buy the "a man will be a man" excuse.

Not everyone who is in church is there for the right reasons.. we must all remember that..and please try not let your anger cause you to lump all Christians together for the indiscretions of a few.

There are people in church who are for real and won't allow Satan to mess with their salvation...

I agree that you may need to find another church, but praying about this may be in order.


God bless

Ladies:

A friend of mine recently found out that her spouse who is a prime figure in the church slept with the pastors whoring daughter. The sad part about it is when she went to the pastor and first lady, they didn’t offer any support as their main concern was “how it would look on the ministry” and wanted her to keep quiet. Telling her as a minister's wife, she's going to go through things like this and she needs to suck it up. I'M SORRY - WHAT???

It's hard seeing someone go through this!!! Trust me, I could feel her pain. What makes it worse is chick use to want my man for years before I came in the picture - so the way I look at it is, that could be me. I mean, it's one thing to sleep with a married man and not know his wife and family because then there is no attachment. But when you are at this woman's house, playing with her kids and sleeping with her man, it becomes a problem. Hot joke is, her man goes to the church also and was friends with said minister. And yes, he knows. I shouldn't be trying to get away from slackness in the world, only to find it in the church! I'm settin' up for her today though - better believe that.

This “sweep it under the rug” mentality a lot of these churches have is DISGUSTING and I am utterly shocked and applaud at their response – what ever happened to marriage counseling from the church? Does it only apply when they have nothing to do with your marriage issues? Everything they preach about love and relationships is a lie.

I think I’m going to begin praise and worship in my own living room, because I’m NOT a hypocrite.

Lord have mercy.

 

[aribell]

The title of your thread caught my attention: NO ONE can destroy anyone's marriage if the two people involved won't let this happen. That said,


I see this young woman has always been causing a stir...

But what about this "husband" who violated his vows? Not to defend her, but this young woman didn't violate any vows... Seems he should also be chastised and there doesn't seem to be any concern for his behavior. I don't buy the "a man will be a man" excuse.

Not everyone who is in church is there for the right reasons.. we must all remember that..and please try not let your anger cause you to lump all Christians together for the indiscretions of a few.

There are people in church who are for real and won't allow Satan to mess with their salvation...

I agree that you may need to find another church, but praying about this may be in order.


God bless

Yes. The ministers of the church were not responsible for fixing her marriage, though it is certainly a shame that they seem more concerned with their image than with the affairs of their congregation. In that respect, such an attitude is a pastoral failing. But, this woman's husband was also a minister in the church. What about his culpability in sinning against this woman and failing to help her grow closer to God and be an example for the other men in the church? As a minister and a husband, this man failed as well.

All that said, I think it's a very bad sign when church leaders refuse to exercise church discipline, especially for those in leadership. The Spirit cannot flourish in such a place, so praying for another church home might very well be in order.

 

[Ramya]

Umm people in church cannot destroy anyone's marriage. The people that took the vows are responsible for their own marriage. I get what you're saying as far as leadership and discipline/order but at the same time what did you want to happen? Such a sensitive matter should have been handled discretely with the persons involved.

 

[taytay86]

Ummmmm.......

Ladies, can we stay focused here?

 

[taytay86]

To all those who replied, thank you. Yes people outside your marriage CAN in fact destroy it if you allow it to happen, which the husband clearly did. The issue with the pastor/church is that his daughter is the main culprit in all of this mess and he does nothing to fix it? Does the church not offer counsel to those who need it? What happened to that?

Today at church was a joke. Those who know what's going on, knew exactly what he was talking about. It's so sad because he is allowing his wicked child and this minister to get way with their deed. The whole time the minister felt so nice because no one was telling him he was wrong - you could cut the tension with a knife. I'm not big on hearsay, BUT I did hear some things from the horse's mouth that confirm everything that happened without hard copy proof. Ladies, you know when you're husband is lying - if you accuse him of infidelity and it was false, would he not disown it? Until now, no one has either owned it or disowned it.

What is happening to our churches???

I really try my best to give her a WWJD response to her problems as I do not want to give the worldly/wrong advice. While the woman in me, and I think all of us is angry and wanting to fight back. I know some of you have dealt with something similar - please offer your words of wisdom.

Is it true that a married woman to a man of power in the church will have to endure issues like this???

 

[taytay86]

Umm people in church cannot destroy anyone's marriage. The people that took the vows are responsible for their own marriage. I get what you're saying as far as leadership and discipline/order but at the same time what did you want to happen? Such a sensitive matter should have been handled discretely with the persons involved.

Efforts were made to handle it discreetly, and nothing was done. In fact, she left there feeling belittled as they told her she was demon possessed.

Question for you though Ramya, if it was you, what would YOU expect to happen? Very interested to hear your response.

 

[Aviah]

Ladies:

A friend of mine recently found out that her spouse who is a prime figure in the church slept with the pastors whoring daughter. The sad part about it is when she went to the pastor and first lady, they didn’t offer any support as their main concern was “how it would look on the ministry” and wanted her to keep quiet. Telling her as a minister's wife, she's going to go through things like this and she needs to suck it up. I'M SORRY - WHAT???

It's hard seeing someone go through this!!! Trust me, I could feel her pain. What makes it worse is chick use to want my man for years before I came in the picture - so the way I look at it is, that could be me. I mean, it's one thing to sleep with a married man and not know his wife and family because then there is no attachment. But when you are at this woman's house, playing with her kids and sleeping with her man, it becomes a problem. Hot joke is, her man goes to the church also and was friends with said minister. And yes, he knows. I shouldn't be trying to get away from slackness in the world, only to find it in the church! I'm settin' up for her today though - better believe that.

This “sweep it under the rug” mentality a lot of these churches have is DISGUSTING and I am utterly shocked and applaud at their response – what ever happened to marriage counseling from the church? Does it only apply when they have nothing to do with your marriage issues? Everything they preach about love and relationships is a lie.

I think I’m going to begin praise and worship in my own living room, because I’m NOT a hypocrite.

Lord have mercy.

I am SO sorry to hear this. However no one and no place is perfect. I can see your obvious cause for concern and alarm, but that is no reason not to fellowship with others. Ask God for a chruch home, and let the Spirit guide you. These things (not this situation in particular, but I mean tribulations) will come along to test your faith. If we leave them, rather than face them we don't become any stronger. I agree that this is a HUGE problem for the Church and many ministries unfortunately but we must remember the devil is like a lion, seeknig whom he may devour, and who else better than God's people? Some give in, and things like this happen. But no matter what, YOU can't give up on the assembly of saints. I'm praying for your friend and all the body of Christ and its issues. Its a shame, and what's even worse, is it pushes some believers from God, and non-believers even further away... God have mercy on us as the body,for real...

 

[DarlingNikki]

Why is your friend approaching the pastor and first lady about their grown daughters activities? Of course bias on their part was to be expected...their human and that's their child. This is something she needs to take up exclusively with her cheating husband.

 

[music-bnatural-smile]

Ive found Churches (the ones ive gone to) to be quite like school, there are a lot of circles, the popular's and the normies. If anything wrong happens within those circle's then its okay, but if a regular person does something everybody wants to drag them to the alter.

Wow this is so true... me and my sister were talking about it... we have no friends at church... its definitely like school... and i hated school, so i avoid them at all costs LOL

 

[Mortons]

To all those who replied, thank you. Yes people outside your marriage CAN in fact destroy it if you allow it to happen, which the husband clearly did. The issue with the pastor/church is that his daughter is the main culprit in all of this mess and he does nothing to fix it? Does the church not offer counsel to those who need it? What happened to that?

Today at church was a joke. Those who know what's going on, knew exactly what he was talking about. It's so sad because he is allowing his wicked child and this minister to get way with their deed. The whole time the minister felt so nice because no one was telling him he was wrong - you could cut the tension with a knife. I'm not big on hearsay, BUT I did hear some things from the horse's mouth that confirm everything that happened without hard copy proof. Ladies, you know when you're husband is lying - if you accuse him of infidelity and it was false, would he not disown it? Until now, no one has either owned it or disowned it.

What is happening to our churches???

I really try my best to give her a WWJD response to her problems as I do not want to give the worldly/wrong advice. While the woman in me, and I think all of us is angry and wanting to fight back. I know some of you have dealt with something similar - please offer your words of wisdom.

Is it true that a married woman to a man of power in the church will have to endure issues like this???

The pastors daughter is (presumably) a grown woman. He cannot control a grown single woman no matter who she is. Now if she is not grown we are opening a bigger can of worms here.

The HUSBAND is the one who needs to be chastised for his cheating ways. Men need to stop being able to get away with things like this and it being blamed on the woman as the problem. Your friend needs to have a serious talk with HER MAN and let him know the deal. She cant run to other people to help fix her marriage, acting like she is afraid of her man.

The answer to the bolded is only if she is willing to deal with it.

 

[DarlingNikki]

IA! I mean, what are they supposed to do? Lock her up? Banish her? What? She wouldn't have a mess to be in the middle of if other responsible parties knew how to behave.

The pastors daughter is (presumably) a grown woman. He cannot control a grown single woman no matter who she is. Now if she is not grown we are opening a bigger can of worms here.

The HUSBAND is the one who needs to be chastised for his cheating ways. Men need to stop being able to get away with things like this and it being blamed on the woman as the problem. Your friend needs to have a serious talk with HER MAN and let him know the deal. She cant run to other people to help fix her marriage, acting like she is afraid of her man.

The answer to the bolded is only if she is willing to deal with it.

 

[mscocoface]

This is between the husband and the wife. If they determine they want to try and save this marriage (both will need to come to that conclusion on their own individually) then it would be most beneficial to seek help outside of that church.

They need a neutral party to help them, someone who has nothing to gain. They should also determine if staying at that church is beneficial and what is right and proper. God can use us anywhere if your are doing HIS will he is at more than just one church.

Another marriage is in danger of being dissolved this was the first union, or community God created, it trumps everything else.

 

[♥Lamaravilla♥]

I don't believe your friend should have approached the pastor and his wife about his daughter. Not to say that this is her fault, but her relationship is lacking something, whether it be love, communication, respect, attraction, whatever, in order for her husband to step out on her like that, and so brazenly at that, with another church member.

Does she want to fix her relationship? Did she find out why he did this? You also said that it hasn't being confirmed or denied by her husband, well how did she find out? I sincerely hope she isn't listening to gossip from others, because there are those who will try their best to cause strife for those in relationships.

All I can say is she needs to stop worrying about the pastor's daughter, that woman has no obligations to her whatsoever. She needs to pray and get some counseling whether with her husband or without depending on how she plans on going forward.

And if she chooses to forgive him, then she needs to genuinely do it and let it go. Not hold any grudges or malice in her heart as her marriage will just fall apart all over again.

If she does decide to stay with him, I would advise they find a new church together because this whole incident is going to leave a sour taste in everyone's mouth who is involved.

 

[momi]

This really breaks my heart - where is the fear of God?

Jer 5:22 (NIV) "Should you not fear me?" declares the Lord. "Should you not tremble in my presence?"


We have to remind ourselves that there is no "salvation clearance" at the doors of the church. Anyone can get in... that is the beauty of the gospel and I personally grateful for it (Lord knows I dont deserve His salvation - but I am grateful!)

 

[Shimmie]

This really breaks my heart - where is the fear of God?

Jer 5:22 (NIV) "Should you not fear me?" declares the Lord. "Should you not tremble in my presence?"


We have to remind ourselves that
there is no "salvation clearance" at the doors of the church. Anyone can get in...

that is the beauty of the gospel and I personally grateful for it (Lord knows I dont deserve His salvation - but I am grateful!)

Love it!

"There is no 'Salvation Clearance at the doors of the Church. Anyone can get in."

momi, you made my day with this. Awesome Word and Truth!



I feel like 'running' around my desk right now. Awesome Word! Awesome ! ! !

 

[yodie]

Seems like the husband is just as much of a whore as the "whoring" daughter. They were both wrong. The church didn't destroy the marriage, these two people did. The husband could have easily said no to the daughter's whoring ways.

I wouldn't want to attend this type of church, but....

I wish men would stop being so weak and stupid. They risk everything for sex.
I wish women would stop disrespecting what other women have worked to build.
I wish men and women had a healthy reverence for God.

 

[msa]

Ladies, can we stay focused here?

I sure was focused. Focused on the fact that you're calling the church out for its "slackness" even though you called someone a name and thought nothing of it.

Planks and specks, planks and specks.

 

[Shimmie]

Seems like the husband is just as much of a whore as the "whoring" daughter. They were both wrong. The church didn't destroy the marriage, these two people did. The husband could have easily said no to the daughter's whoring ways.

I wouldn't want to attend this type of church, but....

I wish men would stop being so weak and stupid. They risk everything for sex.
I wish women would stop disrespecting what other women have worked to build.
I wish men and women had a healthy reverence for God.

Thank you Yodie... I so agree with the bolded.

The wife should also take issue with her husband.

I would have gone to the Pastors just for them to be informed and not be surprised if they see their daughter with a bald head and weaveless. :hardslap: to both of them, the husband and the woman. And I wouldn't take him back either.

That's Legal grounds for divorce and for me to marry a better man. I just wouldn't want him after that, he's tainted.

 

[Laela]

Now, I'm confused.... I thought the issue was the condition of your friend's marriage?

Actually, from my perspective, it seems this is a very personal issue for you, considering the young woman had her eyes on your man and this is your friend with whose husband she had an alleged affair. So no matter what her story is, the question is... would you be able to forgive her???

The BIGGER picture is sin occurred and it's time for healing.... I sinned last week when I overate and I asked God to forgive me for abusing his Temple; but guess what... the pastor's daughter's alleged sin was NO GREATER than mine. A sin is a sin.

Moving forward, what does your friend plan to do about her marriage? I also question her as well. How much of her footprint was in this whole "mess?". The fact that the young woman was in her house like that tells me there was a level of trust. And even that confuses me, because if the young woman has such a bad reputation in the church, why is she hanging around your friend's husband??


I think this is a great opportunity for your church to air its dirty laundry and move on from there... perhaps there's even a blessing behind all this. And if it can't be done, someone may have to leave the church to move on. But it sounds to me like something a long time coming...from all sides.

Blaming the church "whore" isn't good enough and definitely won't fix anything.

I pray that you take my comments with love, because all I see is a test of faith or an opportunity for Satan to laugh his behind off at everyone in your church. Question is, who will get the victory?
I also see an opportunity for the people involved to finally get the chance to deal with past hurts once and for all.

There's nothing impossible for God to fix. The pastor can't do it alone....

. The issue with the pastor/church is that his daughter is the main culprit in all of this mess and he does nothing to fix it? Does the church not offer counsel to those who need it? What happened to that?

 

[taytay86]

I sure was focused. Focused on the fact that you're calling the church out for its "slackness" even though you called someone a name and thought nothing of it.

Planks and specks, planks and specks.

right

 

[Nice & Wavy]

Now, I'm confused.... I thought the issue was the condition of your friend's marriage?

Actually, from my perspective, it seems this is a very personal issue for you, considering the young woman had her eyes on your man and this is your friend with whose husband she had an alleged affair. So no matter what her story is, the question is... would you be able to forgive her???

The BIGGER picture is sin occurred and it's time for healing.... I sinned last week when I overate and I asked God to forgive me for abusing his Temple; but guess what... the pastor's daughter's alleged sin was NO GREATER than mine. A sin is a sin.

Moving forward, what does your friend plan to do about her marriage? I also question her as well. How much of her footprint was in this whole "mess?". The fact that the young woman was in her house like that tells me there was a level of trust. And even that confuses me, because if the young woman has such a bad reputation in the church, why is she hanging around your friend's husband??


I think this is a great opportunity for your church to air its dirty laundry and move on from there... perhaps there's even a blessing behind all this. And if it can't be done, someone may have to leave the church to move on. But it sounds to me like something a long time coming...from all sides.

Blaming the church "whore" isn't good enough and definitely won't fix anything.

I pray that you take my comments with love, because all I see is a test of faith or an opportunity for Satan to laugh his behind off at everyone in your church. Question is, who will get the victory?
I also see an opportunity for the people involved to finally get the chance to deal with past hurts once and for all.

There's nothing impossible for God to fix. The pastor can't do it alone....

Very wise words, indeed!

 

[taytay86]

Now, I'm confused.... I thought the issue was the condition of your friend's marriage?

Actually, from my perspective, it seems this is a very personal issue for you, considering the young woman had her eyes on your man and this is your friend with whose husband she had an alleged affair. So no matter what her story is, the question is... would you be able to forgive her???

The BIGGER picture is sin occurred and it's time for healing.... I sinned last week when I overate and I asked God to forgive me for abusing his Temple; but guess what... the pastor's daughter's alleged sin was NO GREATER than mine. A sin is a sin.

Moving forward, what does your friend plan to do about her marriage? I also question her as well. How much of her footprint was in this whole "mess?". The fact that the young woman was in her house like that tells me there was a level of trust. And even that confuses me, because if the young woman has such a bad reputation in the church, why is she hanging around your friend's husband??


I think this is a great opportunity for your church to air its dirty laundry and move on from there... perhaps there's even a blessing behind all this. And if it can't be done, someone may have to leave the church to move on. But it sounds to me like something a long time coming...from all sides.

Blaming the church "whore" isn't good enough and definitely won't fix anything.

I pray that you take my comments with love, because all I see is a test of faith or an opportunity for Satan to laugh his behind off at everyone in your church. Question is, who will get the victory?
I also see an opportunity for the people involved to finally get the chance to deal with past hurts once and for all.

There's nothing impossible for God to fix. The pastor can't do it alone....

Laela, so far I have always appreciated your comments.

To answer your Q and the Q of others: To my knowledge, my friend has done nothing wrong. I too asked her why she would let this type of woman around her man, house and kids but she didn't think it would happen to her. Bad move, I know and I pointed this out. Correct me if I'm wrong, but church protocol is that any woman needing counsel should seek it from another mature sister in the church, NOT a man for obvious reasons. She knew nothing of this relationship, but this is where it started. It was the pastor who told this weak man to counsel his daughter.

She wants the marriage to work, but how can it when her husband feels he's done nothing wrong? What happened in church was a disgrace - someone actually walked out, and I should've as well just to prove a point.
Where's the leadership? Every church has problems but I mean COME ON! What God do they serve? Have they no fear for Him? Their wrath is coming believe me, and I don't want to be there when it happens.

I'm not saying the church should fix their marriage, what I'm saying is they must own the wrong doing and correct it. The wrong doing, is telling the man that's he's done nothing wrong, and how he can't leave the church, rather than telling him to work things out with his WIFE. It's all about how it looks. This is what disgusts me. Yes I'm taking it personal because it could have been me, and is this how they would treat me? Telling me I'm possessed??? How is that even logical?

Yes he is wrong, just as much as she is - not denying that. But men are weak - not saying its ok, but I mean come on. When a woman is throwing herself at some men they give in. Having someone new seems to excite them, especially when she's younger. It's an ego thing for them - they don't love them, but yet they will risk it all just for some sex. Why?

If he's done nothing wrong, why not say that and mean it? Why not make the marriage work? Why are you instead removing access from joint accounts, deleting messages etc. Does that not sound like guilt to you? She is just as wrong as he is, regardless if she was married to someone else or not. The point is SHE KNEW THE FAMILY and decided that she wanted a piece of what my friend has. Some women will stop at nothing to get what they want.

Victory belongs to the innocent in this case.

 

[Laela]

Victory is the Lord's...

Let me tell you a story (a real one). I was about 13 and there was a certain young woman in my church that I looked up to. She was a known virgin, a high school senior who taught us younger ones in Bible school.. One Sunday morning during testimony, she suprised everyone and went up to the pulpit and starting crying hysterically, asking the church to forgive her for deceiving them. WhAT! I was floored... she went on about sneaking off from school with a guy at school, another senior, to have sex in her mother's house! Her mom was one of the prominent women in church..her little girls could do no wrong. She had this thing going for quite a while. And, I later found out some of the folks in the church already knew. That was my lesson on imperfection. I saw her differently, but oddly enough, I also had a lot of respect for her after that day becuause she said the Holy Spirit led her to confess. She was no longer "perfect" she was a human being who happened to love God.

We all strive to be like Jesus, but while in this earthly body, we'll always wrestle with our flesh and will make mistakes. What makes us more Christ-like is the ability to forgive. It's harder to forgive when we perceive people as "perfect." I've had some hard lessons on forgiveness, too! And in the end, I was so glad I forgave. It was a burden lifted off my shoulders and I became a better person for it.

I am truly sorry your friend is dealing with this, seemingly on her own. Hopefully, she and her husband can get counseling. Your friend can't have a healthy marriage if he sees himself as not doing anything wrong. The sanctity of their marriage just doesn't seem to be there. He'll have to meet her halfway for them to start the recovery process. If they are able to work on their marriage, the victory is the Lord's indeed. Then, they can look back at this and realize all along that they were making a great testimony for God. I pray that's the end result!

Victory belongs to the innocent in this case.