Where do I start?

[sweetnixsy]

I have been on a long haitus from God, from my faith, from everything; despite going to church on an off and praying sometimes.I ve been dealing with the break up of my parents marriage and those of other loved ones all around me. I guess its made me numb inside and now i have stopped believing anything. I know i have always been a "on and off christian", growing up it was all very religious and I absolutely loved it, going to church, morning bible studies, praying before doing anything e.g. eating, leaving the house. But then it all changed, now im away from home and i dont know why i feel its easier for some people, to just love God and make HIM the centre of their lives because everyone around them is this way.
So what happens, when you are surrounded by people who just dont believe, when there is no one to discuss with (not even my parents- I know what happen but the whole closeness to God thing changed) and your only contact with christianity is going to church on sunday and forgetting all about it during the week. I recently turned 21 and now I realise i am now an adult, i want a lot of things really, I want to have a loving husband and a good christian marriage, I want to have kids brought up in the right way, because i know this is the way to life. My problem is i dont know where to start, I want more than this. So where do i start?

 

[barnardbaby027]

Hi sweetnixsy.

I read your post and almost burst into tears when I learned that you were 21. I'm 20 and, although it wasn't a parent breakup that I was dealing with, I had a hard time during my teenage years with other issues. I felt like God had abandoned me and just didn't care. At 19 I realized I had changed so much. I had gone from going to church all the time with my family and loving the Christian life to throwing that all away. I was a totally different person.

Where I started was to just surrender it ALL to God - no matter what it was. I decided that I was not going to live my life for others. My walk with God had to be about only two people - me and him. I stopped all the questioning and worry and just let it all go. It is easier said than done, but it's the best advice I have for you. God loves you so much and he wants to have a relationship with you. He wants to take all of your burdens and sins and throw them into the sea of forgetfullness. We may forget about him, but he NEVER forgets about us. You can confess what is in your heart, and jump right back into his arms like you used to. He's your heavenly father, and he loves you just that much. We are the righteousness of God, and the first step is recognizing that.

Everything in your past from that point forward is gone. Whatever happened with your parents is not your stumbling block. You are starting your life, at 21, with a clean slate. Nobody else matters. When it's all said and done and you stand before the Lord at the gates of heaven, he is not going to want to know about anyone else but you. He's not gonna ask what others thought of you. He's going to want to know that you stoood up for him and that, no matter what, you followed HIS word. GOD is who matters.

When you begin to see the fruits of your daily walk with the Lord, you will begin to see that there is really no comparison to the way of the world. God wants to bless you, and I am declaring right now in Jesus Name that you are blessed beyond belief. I am excited for your renewed walk with God!

God bless you.

 

[Divine Inspiration]

On your knees. If a relationship with God is what you really want, you need to talk to Him...notice I didn't say pray...I said TALK to him. Chat with him the way you would a close friend...tell Him what you said in your post. I think we distance ourselves from God by seeing Him as some big, bad celestial being instead of a provider, protector, and friend.

Trust that God is not hiding from you. If you seek Him, you will find Him. You say that you want a marriage & family that is of God...that's going to mean living a Godly life. You attract what you put out so if you are a woman of God, you will attract a man of God. You needn't go hunting for him, for he that FINDETH a wife, findeth a good thing. You're still very young, and you've got time for those things. If I were you, I'd spend time developing myself as a woman...figuring out who you are and what you really want. I'd be spending time in prayer, reading the Bible, and growing closer to God so that I'm prepared to receive the things I'm asking for.

Where being surrounded by unbelievers is concerned, that's why you have a Bible, and that's why a relationship with God is SO important. Going to church on Sunday is NOT what a spiritual walk with God is all about because truthfully, we spend more time outside of the church than we do inside. We have to make it a point to cultivate a relationship with God on our own. We can't be holy & filled from 11-1 on Sunday then walking around looking worldly and crazy Monday through Saturday. Have you considered things like Bible Study and other ministries at church? Those would be great opportunities for you to get involved and stay plugged in throughout the week. Regardless, I would dive headfirst into the Bible and find other inspirational readings that will inspire and motivate you each day.

Also, before you do anything, I think you should sit down and assess your life and your spirituality. Half-stepping is obviously not cutting it for you so you've got some decisions to make. I learned the hard way that Godly living is a full-time job...you can only play church and pose as a Christian for so long. At some point, you've got to either give it all to God or defer to some other lifestyle. Choose whom you will serve, and trust that if you choose God, He'll provide for you and draw you to Him.

HTH
{DI}

 

[sweetnixsy]

Thank you divine inspiration and barnard baby for your replies. I will take notes and hopefully i can start my walk with GOD. I have found this forum very useful and i will use it to grow in wisdom and spiritually.
I will keep this short as I do not have much time to write.
Thank you for your love and support and I will put you in my prayers. (yes i finally spoke to my "Father" last night and i asked him to help me)
Godbless.