Why Did YOU Decide to Go Natural?

[Sianna]

If there is a thread like this already, I didn't find it when I did a search.

Okay, I've been thinking about this for a little while and I thought I'd go ahead and ask.

I've seen some women on this forum who have gone from natural, to relaxed, to texlaxed and back again. I am interested in hearing your stories.

For me, going natural began as a way to escape the frustration of severe breakage. Typically, my hair does well in the summer, but in the winter, it breaks off like nobody's business!! This is why I have had short hair my entire adult and adolescent life. I have never had an entire years worth of length on my head because it would break off every winter without fail!

I didn't decide to go natural all at once. Last year, I cut ALL of my hair off and wore a lace wig for a few months. The intent was to allow my hair to be natural for a while and then to relax again on new, healthy hair. I ended up relaxing just a few months after my first BC, only to experience the same pattern of breakage when the weather grew cold again.

Long story short, I ended up at a crossroads with my hair. I was tired of the same cycle of grow in the summer and break in the winter. So, while looking for a wig on the internet, I ended up coming across some article that was asking why black women relaxed their hair. Initially I didn't really think much of it, but within the next few days I really began to question why I did it. When I could not come up with a really compelling answer, I began to seriously consider going natural. I started looking for info on natural hair and how to care for it. And just a few days later I BC'd again! This time intending to remain natural permanently!

For me, natural hair has turned out to be far easier to manage than I ever thought it could be. I don't know what (if anything) I was doing wrong with my relaxed hair, but I will never go back to it! I am hoping that, with proper care, my natural hair can reach lengths my relaxed hair has never seen!

What's your story?

 

[MizzBrit]

i look better with it, healthier option for me,my hair and my body.i LOVE my hair now

before hair boards, i had about 3-4 inch hair along with breakage and a bald spot. i wore glue in weaves for years and relaxed my whole head without using neutralizing shampoo. now my hair is really thick, natural,APL and healthy as ever.

 

[BlackMasterPiece]

I was raised with a mother that has been natural about 99% of my life and she always praised my tightly coily hair and its thickness. Grade school was tough with all the straight haired peer pressure but at the end of the day my foundation of having a mother that called me and my natural features beautiful won out in the end. I also live in a city where natural hair is common and embraced so I see inspiration anywhere I go.

I prefer the thickness, the versatility and the added strength my strands have now as a natural.

Part of it is also my value system and wanting to embrace myself fully and the features I was blessed with.

So thats why I went natural and thats why I'll be natural for the rest of my life

 

[ms.blue]

Both times were unintentional. The first time I decided to braid my hair b/c I was in school and didn't want to mess w/ it and just end braided my hair two years straight. Most of the relaxed ends fell off and the rest I just cut it off. Then I relaxed and in one year exactly my relaxed hair became damaged. This led me to grow out my hair but I was not going to become natural. Six months later after I took off my weave, I had my setback. I didn't detangle my hair properly and proceeded to wash my hair which caused huge knots that I had to cut off. Then I decided I will just stay natural. I got my hair braided the next day and went on the internet to learn how to grow my hair back. I found this site and youtube and I saw a lot of natural haired ladies and it just confitmed me that I should just stay natural.

 

[CurlTalk]

I'm still transitioning, so I hope its okay to post...

I decided to go natural because I wanted to see what I would look like as nature intended me to look. I wanted my friends and family and future family and friends to see me as I truly was. I don't define myself solely by my hair, but I have a feeling that it is important for me (and others) to see me unaltered. It may sound a bit weird, but it is the most honest answer I can give.

My reason for continuing to relax for the years that I did was less 'doing what I knew/what I was encouraged to do' (my own mother had 4b natural hair for years), and more 'I can't manage my own hair/ I don't want to'. For a long time, I chased straight hair as what I should have, convinced that I was straightening simply for maintenance, and that it would look better on me than my own hair. Looking back, I was simply subscribing to an ideal of beauty, like an overwhelming amount of women do: I wasn't dying my hair blonde, or creating a face with makeup every morning--I was hiding my hair texture from the world and myself.

 

[Misshairdiva]

I was tired of only having shoulder length hair and figured if I could just leave the relaxers and direct heat alone that MAYBE my hair would retain length... and it did!!! (Its a little now past bsl!)

 

[JustSimplyTish]

**sorry in advance if this is long***

My reasons were personal.....My SIL whom I love like a sister was diagnosed in July-Aug 2009 w/ Alopecia....at 27 yrs old....she had waist length beautiful thick relaxed hair....I watched her hair slowly just fall out in patches....it was the most devastating thing I had ever seen at the time happen to someones hair....She was getting scalp injections everything...Nothing worked...So we were all sitting down during the Holidays and I asked her in front of my mom...how was it going...and she said I no longer have any hair at all...she said I am wearing a wig (it was a great one) she said I made this one myself....I was like wow....I actually thought it was her hair but maybe with pieces of weave....I said how do you feel as I fought back the tears...she said...The first week I went completely bald I cried all day and night...she said then I started praying and asked God why...she said I still don't know why..But I know I have a Good Job, A wonderful Family, Beautiful Kids..that I can see, I can hear and I can love...she said and every morning God blesses me to take another breath to enjoy life...she said, so in the long run I am truly blessed and I don't need to know why because I am not my hair and my hair was just an accessory...

I cried so hard that day..I had migraines....Something I couldn't fix..I dare life

She said the Dermatologist said it could possibly be due to years of relaxers ...But he could not 100% say ...The neurologist said all her test came back negative so there was no reason....She said she was not stressed...nor was it hereditary that she could trace....

So, at that moment My sister and I said...you know what we are not our hair either and we both decided to do the big chop and eliminate what MAY have been the cause...and even if it was not...our hair and scalp would be healthier for it.


Again...sorry I know it was long...but I did sum it up...the story was so much more ..but that was the main reason my going natural was so important to me...So at 44 years old I am natural!

 

[BlackMasterPiece]

/\ Wow. That was soooo touching Tish....I wish your sister nothing but the best...we take what we have for granted sometimes. Thanks for sharing.

 

[Mad Scientist]

well, I think the main reason was that I was lazy. I didn't like taking care of my hair and I thought going natural would be lower maintenance. I liked my hair relaxed...it looked ok, especially when I got it done. I just really wasn't into it.
I was never a girly-girl so getting relaxers were never a priority (burning scalp for straight hair wasn't an even trade off for me), but when I came to college, I didn't have anyone to relax my hair regularly anyway so I would go whole semesters without getting my hair relaxed so it would end up looking really bad towards the end of the semesters. On August 1, 2008, I got my last relaxer to start the school year off. All semester I blow dried and flat ironed my hair into oblivion. In November, I realized I barely had any new growth and my hair was really unhealthy. That's when I found LHCF and decided to transition!

 

[JustSimplyTish]

Thanks for this thread.....Man I feel so much better sharing that....Therapeutic!!!

 

[CurlTalk]

Again...sorry I know it was long...but I did sum it up...the story was so much more ..but that was the main reason my going natural was so important to me...So at 44 years old I am natural!

You're in your 40s?!

I seriously thought you were in your late twenties/ early thirties.

(sorry that was OT, but I was shocked)

Your story was touching, btw. Moving, in a way.

 

[Sianna]

I'm still transitioning, so I hope its okay to post...

Of course it was okay! Your story is just as valuable and appreciated as everyone else's!!

I really enjoyed it BTW and I truly understand what you were saying. I didn't want to be terribly long winded in my initial post, but I had similar feelings about allowing the world to see the true, unaltered me as well!

...sorry I know it was long...but I did sum it up...the story was so much more ..but that was the main reason my going natural was so important to me...So at 44 years old I am natural!

No need to apologize! Your story was very moving, as well as a little sad. I am glad that your SIL came to terms with her hair loss, but I can imagine that having such a thing happen can still be somewhat traumatizing, even when one comes to accept it.

It seems that we have all come back to our natural hair for different reasons, but I suppose the best thing is that we are here. I didn't think of it back then, but now I really worry about the long term affects of exposing ourselves to such caustic chemicals.

Oh, and on a side note, you are 44??!! You have GOT to be kidding me!! I would have guessed that you were at least ten years younger than that!

 

[ParagonTresses]

Really just wanted to see my true texture.

 

[JustSimplyTish]

@Sianna....yep 44 .... Trust me my body feels every bit of it as of late ....Thank you!!! Having a younger husband helps...I'm a cougar lol

 

[LovelyNaps26]

1. I started to really love the hairstyles I could achieve with natural hair that I saw on women over the web

2. I was 20 and couldn't remember the texture of my hair

3. I felt it was something I needed to do as a woman. I told myself I needed to be completely natural for at least 1 year in my adult life

4. Now, 5 1/2 years after my BC (November 2004) , I love natural hair because it is versatile, beautiful, thick and the hair that God gave me!

 

[lovegymnasts]

I hated relaxing my hair. The whole process. The smell. The scalp burns. I hated it.
I dreaded doing it and would put it off as long as possible.
One day (I don't know why), I just asked myself why I kept doing something I hated to do. I could not think of any reason so I decided to not relax my hair any more. The thought process took less than 5 minutes...probably around 2 minutes.
It was the best decision I ever made and I don't regret it for one nano second. Many people say never say never and are skeptical when someone says they will never relax again but I can say with 99.999999999% certainty that I am natural for life. For me there is no reason not to be and every reason to be.

 

[Netta1]

I went natural once I found the answer to why I started relaxing in the first place...

and after over 6.5 years I still have no desire to return to my former habit...

 

[AmyRose92]

I decided to go natural because I was so tired of not seeing any results when my hair was relaxed. I always had split ends, no matter how many times I trimmed and it always looked thin and just horrible to me.

Plus, I read "Hair Story" and I seriously thought I found enlightenment. I seriously do believe relaxers are a form of oppression (though a person's personal decision to relax is their business, not mine) and denies us of the true, wonderful, and unique texture that God created us with. I don't want to live with that stigma so that's a major factor in my going natural.

 

[lilsparkle825]

I went crazy in college and cut my hair in a bob....then got it professionally colored...then got cheap and switched to box color (dark and lovely). i was a blonde, brunette and redhead in about 6 months. the dumb stylist simply told me to keep my colored hair moisturized -- i thought that meant oil, or chi silk infusion, or oil sheen, and i flat ironed my dirty hair daily. on top of that, i got two sew-ins back to back and neglected my hair -- no moisturizing, washing, NOTHING (eek -- this was all pre-LHCF, don't worry!).

when i took out the second sew-in and got my cousin to detangle, she used a RATTAIL COMB and ripped my hair from SL to EL/NL. i was devastated and immediately wanted a relaxer....but she told me i couldn't get one bc my hair needed to rest (the smartest thing she's ever said). she told me about the dominicans, whom i had never heard of, and i went and got a blowout. after about 4 months and no relaxer and they got my hair THAT straight....i said screw relaxers, i'll just get DBs to straighten my hair! i never intended on wearing it curly; i was going to be a straight haired natural....that is, until i found LHCF.

 

[kmn1980]

Money- got tired of paying $65 (at the time) for a relaxer only to have serious new growth within the next 3 weeks. What was the point?

Health- could hardly retain anything. My hair grows like lightning but you wouldn't have known it by looking.

Lack of competent stylists- I've had stylists (in a salon) put a relaxer on my head and then go and start eating a fried catfish sandwich while I was nearly in tears and all the sinks were taken. Also, some stylists seem to think that because you have coarse, thick hair, it can take a lot of abuse and they can be rough with it.

Logic- I have hair just like my mother. My mother didn't start getting relaxers until she was 30. She has always had long hair. Made sense that I should have been able to grow and retain just like she does. This was confirmed when one of 2 stylists I trust (and who also did my BC) told me that it's beyond reason that I didn't have hair as long as my mother's.

Logic 2- I know it's cliche but the fact that the cream burns and the person who puts it on your head has to wear gloves speaks for itself.

Almost a decade after my BC, I've cut my hair to TWA and grown my hair to AT LEAST BSL 5 times.

 

[Blkrose]

Im excited about seeing my hair in its natural state and its potential (BC 5/11/10). And if its not all that I expect it to be then I will be going back to having relaxed hair which I didnt really give a chance to see its full potential.

 

[Mz.MoMo5235]

my natural journey is actually a 2 part story. part one is going natural and part 2 was for staying natural lol

part 1.

i went natural on accident. i relaxed my hair 1-2x per yr. usually end of june (right before monsoon started because of the humidity). well one summer... i forgot. yeah, i flat out just forgot to relax my hair! i didnt realize it til about oct which by then there was no more humidity so i said i would just wait for next yr. but by then i started to wear my hair curly so i forgot again. so that was 2 yrs growing out my relaxer. but i kept saying i WOULD relax, as soon as i remembered lol

part 2. i was coming up on my 3rd yr and i was for sure going to relax (even had my box all ready) because i started to wear my hair straight again and the almost 3yrs of new growth was not playing lol. then i went to my aunts house and my grandmother was there. now i, up until that moment, never seen my grandmothers hair out (paternal grandmother, we're not that close) and her hair was just LOOOOONG and TTTHHHIIIIIIICCCKKK!!!!! and i was in awe of it. then i went home and had this urge to go through some old photos and found some pix of me when i was like 4-8yrs old and my hair was sooooo full and thick! i was now jealous of my darn self lmao. at that point i realized i didnt much like my relaxed hair, it was limp, brittle, and breaking.

so i went that 3rd yr w/o relaxing and within about 6 months of that i was all natural from all my trims lol so mentally i only transitioned for 6 months lol even though it was actually 3yrs of transitioning.

what's funny is that until i actually pulled out a calendar right now, i wasnt really sure how long i transitioned. i always guessed 2yrs, but i was wrong.

whats sad is i was only 100% natural for a month before i did severe heat damage to my hair lmao which is what caused me to join here!

 

[hopeful]

I went natural because my hair and scalp hate relaxers. Because I was always curious about my natural hair. Because I like the simplicity of being natural, not needing touch-ups etc. Because I was never able to get my hair past neck-length. I was sl as a child but since getting a relaxer at 13 was never able to reach sl again with the relaxer. As soon as my hair would reach neck length it would break off in the back...every...single...time. It was very frustrating. The last time I bc'd, in just a little over two years, my hair was past sl and on it's way to apl. The longest my hair had every been in my entire life. Final reason is I have two daughters and I want to leave them a legacy, I want to encourage them to feel beautiful with their natural hair. I plan to bc soon, have not had a relaxer in a year, and this time I will stay natural--this is my 3rd time going natural and I am determined that the third time's the charm.

 

[Sianna]

Very interesting story Mz.MoMo5235. I never knew that anyone would have gone natural primarily because they simply forgot to relax their hair!

As I mentioned in my initial post, my hair was never long. At least not in my teens, and not when I became an adult. However, I was recently looking at an old pic of me when I was about 2 years old. (I stole it from my mom!

) And I noticed that my hair was a lot longer than it has been since I've been caring for it myself. I couldn't tell exactly how long it was cause it was pulled into a ponytail near the top of my head. But, judging from my daughter's hair, I would guess that it was at least APL stretched.

I didn't get jealous of myself, but the photo did give me a sense of hope that my hair can actually grow!

 

[Mook's hair]

Tish, great story! I'd love to see more pics of your natural hair. It looks beautiful in your siggy and great color too.

Did your SIL loose her eyelashes & brows too from the alopecia? I have a male cousin with that, he has no hair on his head or face now.


I went natural because I decided that I had enough of the incorrectly processed relaxers and scalp burns..

It started off as a long stretch and then with the support of my husband, best friend & the ladies on the hair boards, it turned into a 2 year grow out.

 

[BlackMasterPiece]

/\ You look so regal and beautiful Mook

 

[Divine Inspiration]

So many reasons - alignment w/ lifestyle, personal growth, style options, curiosity, health.
I agree that styles and processes can be circular for many of us even though I don't see myself returning to relaxers.

I knew I would appreciate my natural hair, but I had no idea I would be madly in love with it and not regret it at all.

 

[Divine Inspiration]

Tish, great story! I'd love to see more pics of your natural hair. It looks beautiful in your siggy and great color too.

Did your SIL loose her eyelashes & brows too from the alopecia? I have a male cousin with that, he has no hair on his head or face now.


I went natural because I decided that I had enough of the incorrectly processed relaxers and scalp burns..

It started off as a long stretch and then with the support of my husband, best friend & the ladies on the hair boards, it turned into a 2 year grow out.

Hey Mook!

Good to see you and your beautiful hair! I remember swapping a few transitioning war stories with you.

 

[Eritreladiee]

I HAATED new growth and having to get touch ups all the damn time-- it seriously made me start hating my hair texture the natural way it grew in. It just got to be too much and I knew I had to make the change for my own good.

Also, straight hair could only take me so far. My natural hair had always been my trademark, and the straight hair was really generic and got old.

Plus, I didn't appreciate being confused for an Indian as much as I was

 

[Vintageglam]

Because I finally realised that relaxers were just not for me and my hair.

I have had fine hair all my life. When I was younger it was fine and beautiful hair. I had the sort of type 4 hair that didn't hurt to comb and it was beautiful and grew easily. My mother on the other hand had never been good at taking care of hair and so started perming my hair from an early age. The condition of my hair deteriorated to the point where I experienced serious scalp relaxer and perm burns (my mother even inter-changed jherri curls and relaxers at some points). Admittedly my hair did VERY well with jherri curls and grew like crazy and my scalp was very healthy.

Anyway when I was a teenager and had experienced yet another relaxer burn I said enough and refused to cooperate any more with the relaxers anymore and so then wore braids and weaves for about 15 years until my edges could take no more

I then flirted briefly with relaxers again for 3 years recently and again my hair just didn't like it. It looked limp and lifeless all the time and broke at the slightest touch. I reasoned that healthy hair should not be than thin lifeless and fragile.

The decision was sealed however recently when I decided to transition, my ends did not survive the transition and would just break like crazy so in the end I just BC'd while I was on holiday in Thailand as I could not take it any more.

I now have 2.5 - 3 inches of TWA and am loving it. I do however now need to find a good protective style to avoid the nightmare tangling

well that's me sorry for the long post.