why do people say natural hair is hard to take care of

[Brownie]

After a recent post, I began to wonder why so many women think natural hair is harder than relaxed or texturized hair to take care of.

Now in all honesty, I thought the same thing a few years back. I thought my hair needed to be pressed, or "loosened" in order for me to handle its thickness and texture, but now, I've learned that isn't the case. With my hair, I think it's easier to take care of now than it was when it was texturized. When I bought into the belief that natural hair is harder to take care of, I think I wasn't willing to work with my hair. I wasn't willing to open my eyes to the possibility that there were various ways to style my hair, ways that didn't involve a pressing comb, or a chemical.

I guess my question is why do people give so many excuses for shying away from their natural texture---i.e.: I'm too busy, I need a professional hair style for work, my hair's too thick, I can't comb my hair---when all these concerns can be easily resolved with proper combs, techniques, products, and styles? Why are people quick to write off natural hair? Why are so many people more willing to wait at a hair salon all day to get a touch up every 4-12 weeks, but they're not willing to take a little time to work with their hair in its natural state?

Lastly, I know it's just hair, and it's great that we have a choice to do what we want with our hair, but I'm just wondering why some people say natural hair is harder than relaxed/texturized hair to take care of.

 

[Daughter]

As for me, I simply wasn't used to handling my natural texture. My mum did my hair until I was about 14 when I had my first relaxer so I never got to master the basics of natural hair. The last time I pressed my hair I struggled as I hadn't had straight hair for years and it felt strange!

I also believe that people are used to the belief that the brush or comb should just glide through hair and if it doesn't that hair texture must be difficult to work with. Now I know that my hair is best combed when wet and full of conditioner. "Manageability" is highly subjective - some are willing to lear to look after their hair in it's natural state, others are daunted by it. IMO, many are believing a false premise of natural hair, that it is inherently unmanageable.

There are of course many other reasons why people are turned off by natural hair, such as type 4 being "bad" and looser, wavier hair being "good", lack of knowledge of the versatility of natural hair, being afraid to wear natural hair in the workplace, some black men's perception of natural hair, the list goes on and on...

 

[Netta1]

To keep it simple, some people are just not ready for their natural hair, which sounds insane but its the truth. I know this because I was one of those people. I admired those who proudly wore their hair natural, but I also looked at them crazy at the same time. I always said, "Aint no way in the world I would EVA' be NAPPY." I always thought it was too much work, come to find out it AINT. lol You get out of it what you put into it, just like anything else.

If you want to look at the history of our hair and how certain things have an effect on why SOME of us do what we do well thats a VERY interesting topic in itself. Our people have been negatively programed for the longest time and even today we constantly get messages that tell us we need to DO SOMETHING to our hair in order to FIT IN. Did you know that once-upon-a-time our hair was actually outlawed???? It had to remain covered when we were outside!!!! So I think that our history might most certainly play a major role in why we break our necks to "fix" what aint ever been broke.


Oh yeah FEAR plays a major role for some folks too. Alot of time you find that people fear what they don't know.

 

[FlowerHair]

I don't know.
I might be one of the few here who has been natural almost all my life and for me, personally, it would be more difficult to take care of relaxed hair. Indeed it was when I had relaxed hair for about 4 months
My hair is easy to take care of, but I have to take my time to groom it anyway.

 

[Poohbear]

When people say natural hair is hard to take care of, I do not think they mena it in a bad way. To me, I think both relaxed and natural hair can be difficult to manage if you do not know how to take care of it.
Some may prefer relaxers if they do not know how to take care of natural hair. I believe that is why my mom gave me a relaxer so my hair would be easier to comb through and so I do not have to get it pressed.
Some may prefer to stay natural or transition to natural to avoid the maintenance of relaxed hair and getting chemical touch-ups every so often. With hair being easy to brush and comb through does not mean it's more manageable or easier to take care of... maybe for relaxed hair but not natural hair.
Now I am transitioning to natural out of curiousity of my natural hair texture. Right now, I'm learning how to take care of natural hair before I am completely natural from several tips that I get here and other sources.

It's all about KNOWING how to take care of your hair in a certain state.

 

[alibi]

I think that saying that natural hair is hard to take care of is a result of being raised in a Western society where straight hair is the social acceptable thing. Most little black girls have perms in their hair long before they can drive, vote, or drink, and it sort of just becomes a part of you. When you hear your mama, grandmama, aunts, etc. talking about how you need a perm, or so-and-so needs a perm, or this person has nappy hair, or I couldn't get the comb through that stuff so we relaxed it, it's very easy to become conditioned into thinking that perming black hair is the only way to style and control it, which is not necessarily true.

We as black women need to become more educated about caring for our hair, and understand that a perm/relaxer merely a styling option, and not a necessity. We have the most versatile hair onthe planet,and whatever you decided to do with your hair, be it relax it, color it, loc it, weave it, wave it, twist it, braid it, 'fro it, texturize it, WHATEVER, you need to first learn to love what God gave you, and understand that how you style is a choice, and not a way of life.

 

[PhonyBaloney500]

I've been natural almost all my life as well--it WAS kinda hard to take care of when I was doing stupid things like drying it with a comb attachment, using a pick on DRY hair to detangle, etc. Now it's INCREDIBLY easy.

 

[sassygirl125]

Lastly, I know it's just hair, and it's great that we have a choice to do what we want with our hair, but I'm just wondering why some people say natural hair is harder than relaxed/texturized hair to take care of.

I think it's because they are trying to make their hair look and behave like another hair type.

 

[Honi]

When I was ignorant I would have said something like this. Since finding the hairboards and reading posts from the natural ladies here I learned how to take care of my hair while I was pregnant and my daughters hair. I find it easy because of the right products, regimen and tools that I'm using. My little one does not scream or cry when I do her hair. I think that it is a good experience for her to sit in a chair and not having someone try to comb dry curly hair.

For me relaxing is not a necessity but an option.

 

[UmSumayyah]

I think if it's not what you're used to, the adjustment can be difficult and lead you to give up. Or, memories of painful combing out sessions may be to blame. Things we consider basic like detangling from the ends up may not have been done by mom, leading us to want to avoid the pain at all costs.
Personally I think at the very least it's a good exercise to spend some years with your natural hair where you take care of it yourself. Giving yourself time to get to know the texture and learning the basics if need be.

 

[Qurlyqt]

Personally, I used those same excuses when I was relaxed because:
a) Everyone complimented my bouncy hair while it was relaxed so I thought that was how it SHOULD look.
b) I had no idea what my natural texture would look like beneath years of pressing/relaxing.
c) I was afraid that "natural" hair wouldn't be embraced/accepted by my friends, family, and in corporate America.

I transitioned for over a year and the more curls I saw popping out of my scalp, the more I knew that I would become COMPLETELY natural. I think it is a personal preference of whether one decides to relax their hair or wear it in it's natural state. The important thing, in my opinion, is that you TAKE CARE of your hair - whether relaxed OR natural.

 

[naptrl]

I don't know WHY people say this! I could never, wash and go with my relaxed hair, and I always had to use heat. Natural hair is sooooo much easier to take care of!!!

 

[GodMadeMePretty]

I think both have their inherent difficulties managing depending on how you view it. If you view it as a chore, it will be one. For me, having natural hair and relaxed hair-it's about the same because I do the same style every day. I prefer the thickness of MY hair naturally. Now that I've found the boards, I'm sure that I could maintain some of the thickness if I ever decided to relax again. But one thing I've found is that natural hair is more forgiving of neglectful habits. LOL!

 

[PhonyBaloney500]

Personally, I used those same excuses when I was relaxed because:
a) Everyone complimented my bouncy hair while it was relaxed so I thought that was how it SHOULD look.
b) I had no idea what my natural texture would look like beneath years of pressing/relaxing.
c) I was afraid that "natural" hair wouldn't be embraced/accepted by my friends, family, and in corporate America.

I transitioned for over a year and the more curls I saw popping out of my scalp, the more I knew that I would become COMPLETELY natural. I think it is a personal preference of whether one decides to relax their hair or wear it in it's natural state. The important thing, in my opinion, is that you TAKE CARE of your hair - whether relaxed OR natural.

Your hair looks wonderful!

Question for ya--when you do those night time styles, do you then unbraid and wear it "out" in the morning and it looks good (i.e. not flat or anything).

 

[webby]

I'll speak only for myself here...I was natural until I was in my mid-late teens. My hair was/is very fine, but I have a LOT of it. Washing my hair was always a dreaded event because:

1. It was very difficult to detangle even when using products with slip
2. It would never dry quick enough and
3. I was always lost behind the mountain of hair.

I have been relaxed for years and although it does require the same patience my natural hair required, I just find that basic tasks, like combing and washing are not nearly as frustrating.

 

[Kengne]

I think it's due to lack of knowledge of how to properly *key word = properly* take care of natural hair. For the longest while before I went natural all the natural headed people around me (esp. my brother) had the dryest, roughest looking hair and that just turned me off. I tht "Is that what natural hair looks like? Ugh."

Then curiosity and frustration with my permed hair drove me to discover NP.com, where I learnt that NO...not all natural hair looks like raggedy. Many people just don't know how to maintain natural hair. Esp. my mother who did many of the things you DONT do with natural hair e.g. comb it dry, with a small tooth comb!

So IMHO, it's simply lack of knowledge and desire to gain more knowledge that leaves people thinking "natural hair is hard to manage".

K.

 

[Champagne_Wishes]

Prolly because of lack of knowledge and trying to use products that worked for relaxed heads.

 

[FlowerHair]

Those of you that have transitioned from relaxed to natural - do you spend as much time doing your hair now as before? I am under the impression that most of us spend the same amount of time grooming our hair, maybe not doing the same things but anyway...

 

[itismehmmkay]

#1 - 4a/4b hair is harder to take care of. If you haven't found the "right" products and tools, it is such a hassle to deal w/ hair that looks hard and dry most times. And don't let it have build-up!

#2 - Keep in mind that hair is mostly easy to take care of once you know exactly what to do w/ it. The hard and time-consuming part is looking for those right tools, techniques, and products. People wait at a salon because (if they trust the stylist), they know that they will have a relatively satisfying result even after waiting several hours. When you're doing your hair yourself, it can be alot of trial and error. This is especially the case if you're working with brand new natural hair...it takes time to get used to.

#3 - I don't care what type of hair you have, hair is the most frustrating and hardest to take care of when it's in that medium/growing-out stage. Now, some ppl w/ curly wash-n-go hair can get away with that. But there's still the hassle of making sure it's in a neat shape. And mostly when ppl go natural, they're cutting down to very short hair and waiting until it grows out.

Now, these are words and opinions from a 4a/4b who is obsessed w/ hair and who has done the big-chop twice! I just recently went back to relaxed/texturized. My hair (as of last night actually) is now similar to 3a/3b hair. I can easily comb through it. I did this because I wanted easier hair to work with. Now, I can just rollerset my hair and be done w/ my life!

 

[sassygirl125]

3. I was always lost behind the mountain of hair.

Ahhhh... a mountian of hair... my dream hair! I won't be happy until my hair blocks the view of the people sitting behind me.

 

[blkmaryland]

I agree with the not knowing part....One thing that is helping me to successfully transition is knowing how to care for my "natural" hair and I keep reminding myself that it is truly a learning experience. I also think that when your hair gets to be that in between length, not long enough for a ponytail but to long for a quick dooo....it doesn't matter whether or not your hair is natural or relaxed, it is a pain in the butt!!!!!!

 

[jainygirl]

Bad memories of having the comb of torture --- the skinny small tooth comb that mama used to break while trying to get it through the DRY natural hair.

Just being told that 'you need a relaxer' gives thought that -- hmmm.. my natural hair must be hard to take care of, so i must have got this relaxer put in when i was younger so that it would be easier to manage. A relaxer is a styling OPTION; the problem comes in that most people who use it think it's mandatory.

Propoganda, propoganda, propoganda --- You hear enough about the ills of natural hair and youre gonna believe it. We've all believed this stuff at one point or another.

 

[Kengne]

#1 - 4a/4b hair is harder to take care of. If you haven't found the "right" products and tools, it is such a hassle to deal w/ hair that looks hard and dry most times. And don't let it have build-up!

I strongly disagree with this statement. Why do you feel this way? It's harder to take care of then say what? 3a/b hair? Relaxed hair? Texturized hair? As a 4a/b I found that I spent just as much time and had just as much hassle (if not more!) with my relaxed hair as I do with my natural hair. Hours spent under the dryer...hours spent waiting in salons..not to mention the tons of money I spent. And all that for what, broken off damaged hair? Gimme a break.

I think with any hair, you obviously have to find the "right" products as well as know how to take care of your hair, period. Most people just don't know how to! 4a/b natural hair is esp. fragile, so you have to treat it accordingly. You can't just drag a small tooth comb through it when it's dry (like you can when it's permed)! But does that make it "harder to take care of"? I don't think so. It just means that you have to take care of it, differently. It's no harder, no easier.

K.

 

[DelightfulFlame]

ITA with Kengne. I'll never forget the hours spent curling and primping only to have my hair fall flat and look a mess an hour later.

Natural hair is different...but definitely not harder to deal with than my relaxed hair was.

 

[Bublnbrnsuga]

I think it's because they are trying to make their hair look and behave like another hair type.

B-I-N-G-O!!!

 

[Bublnbrnsuga]

Those of you that have transitioned from relaxed to natural - do you spend as much time doing your hair now as before? I am under the impression that most of us spend the same amount of time grooming our hair, maybe not doing the same things but anyway...

No way. If one is spending the same amount of time with natural hair as with relaxed, then there are some techniques and styles that one hasn't become aware of. I can't begin to tell you the number of times that I just get up and go, thinking my hair should be restyled, but in public, people always compliment my 4 day old hair. If only they knew....

 

[getmoore]

I think the problem is when people take those beliefs and turn them into HATE. My sister-in-law absolutley HATES natural hair of ANY kind! Her favorite saying is "YOU NEED A PERM!" to anyone who may have a tiny bit of newgrowth! Nappy hair is just NASTY! Is all I hear out of her mouth. You would think she would at least shut up while I'm around.( I'm nappy and proud of it!)A lot of other family members are the same way.When we come from communities with backward thinking there's no wonder that people have misconceptions about natural hair.If you perm your hair as a styling option that's a personal choice. But if you think that you SHOULD have a perm because natural hair is unacceptable your thinking is just SCARY!!
OH yeah, Keep in mind my sister-in-law put a perm in her BABY'S hair. I'm not sure how old she was at the time, But I know she was UNDER A YEAR OLD!! Talk about a poisoned mind!!!

 

[CharUK]

OH yeah, Keep in mind my sister-in-law put a perm in her BABY'S hair. I'm not sure how old she was at the time, But I know she was UNDER A YEAR OLD!! Talk about a poisoned mind!!!

OMG!!! That's just awful!!!!!

 

[lavendarlover]

Yeah, I disagree with the poster who stated atht 4 whatever hair is HARDEST to take care of. I have that type of hair. It is VERY wooly, but it CAN be easily managed when damp. The key is to remember that it HAS to be damp. In the early phases of waering my hair natural, I would pick through my DRY hair and see breakage everywhere. Now I don't, and I can see that I am gaining length.

The thing here is what we have been taught growing up about our hair. I am trying to make sure that I DON"t plant those seeds in my daughter's head.

 

[Healthb4Length]

I agree with Netta1, I used to be so proud of others when they wore their natural hair but I was scurred to wear mine out. I taught all kinds of bazaar things like my hair was too thick to handle or I didn't have the 'right' texture but I've grown so much now and I am proud that I have my type of hair. It could be worst, I could be bald etc. SO I'm not worried about it. As for corporate America, I have learned that if people don't like me they just don't regardless if my hair is straight or nappy and I've also learned that there are plenty of natural styling options that I can try and still look 'professional'. I believe why some people are also afraid to venture into 'the natural side' is because of ignorance. I know for a fact that my mother didn't know how to handle her own hair so how could she take care of mine? We have to be proactive as a group of people and start taking care of our own hair instead of always putting on the chemicals or in recent cases looking to 'others' for our hair care solutions.

@Kenge--I'm feeling you girl, you took the words right out of my mouth!