"You just don't have growing hair"....

[MrsWatson]

Welcome! Your hair looks really healthy in the photo. We all have growing hair. As long as we are living our hair will grow just like our nails unless there is a medical problem which prevents our hair from growing. Our goal is to keep as much of it as possible on our heads and that's where the board and good hair care techniques come in. So keep your head up, think positive, take care of your hair with a good solid simple regimen, get involved in the challenges and your already healthy looking hair will grow to long lengths. Then go back to your sister and share some of the knowledge. By that time she'll be asking you for tips anyway.

awwww...thanks so much. I dont think anyone ever told me that before. My hair is in pretty good shape now that i've really started to pay attention and take the advice of you wonderful ladies...and I CANT WAIT for the day that she has to EAT her words...definitely my motivation!!

 

[filthyfresh]

Girl, don't let that discourage you. My mom says the same things to me. "Why do you do those weird things to your hair? You shouldn't be on the Internet listening to what those people tell you to do. You're going to ruin your hair. Your hair just isn't meant to be that long." I'm not studying her, because my hair has never been this healthy or this thick. I know what I want from my hair. So I'm going to do whatever is necessary to make it so. Family will be the first to discourage you because deep down they love you, but they just express it the wrong way. And I guess they feel they know you best & they want to keep you on their level. [shrugs] But girl, keep doing your thing. Your hair looks great. =]

 

[JustKiya]

Sorry to be a Debbie Downer but I'm beginning to think this is the case for me. I will see at the end of the year if this is true. Just like baldness is due to genetics I would think hair length is tied as well.

Here's why I say this. I've never done the hair fads. I've never colored, bleached, fried it, tight braids, whatever. Before I really tried getting to to grow I've have shoulder length all my life. Only once in my early 20's did I have my hair cut in a short style. My routine was wash and condition once a week, press once a week (before I started relaxing) My hair has never been severely damaged as I can tell. No chewed up ends etc. So if my hair wasn't in bad condition why had it been shoulder length for ever? My short cut did grow back but to the same shoulder length. Only in the last two years has my hair reached a little past shoulder.

Maybe shoulder is all I can get. I'm not giving up but time will tell. Maybe I will be eating my words in the months to come I hope this is the case.

If once you hit shoulder length, you don't have new growth anymore, then I would agree that your hair can't grow any longer than that. If you still have to get touch ups, though, your hair IS growing. For some reason - and that's the real 'secret' of long hair - you aren't retaining it. Figure out why, and watch your hair take off.

 

[locabouthair]

drasgirl, I just looked at your album and you made progress! You're closer to BSL now. Plus your hair's very thick. I wish I had that thickness and length.

 

[gymfreak336]

awwww...thanks so much. I dont think anyone ever told me that before. My hair is in pretty good shape now that i've really started to pay attention and take the advice of you wonderful ladies...and I CANT WAIT for the day that she has to EAT her words...definitely my motivation!!

Take care of the hair you have, give it time and Voila! Ignore negative comments because it will turn into negative self talk and then negative habits.

 

[Nicole1976]

Off Topic:

Sorryerplexed

Florida is having a meetup. You should come! (Check out the LHCF Meetup Forum)

On Topic:

All hair grows

Use the inspirational stories on this board to keep you going.

 

[♦K.O♦]

Pretty soon you'll be schooling your sister and she'll be coming to you for tips.

With proper care, your hair will definitely grow to longer lengths.

 

[DDTexlaxed]

I'm sorry to say this but this is the "old school" mentality. Just because she's a stylist doesn't mean she knows everything. You will find a lot of people will not share your long hair growing mentality. We will support you, though. Welcome to the board!

 

[newflowers]

If your nails grow, your hair is growing too. It's easy to see when you relax, maybe not so much when you are natural. If you find that you grow to neck or shoulder length and then no more length, you need to carefully and honestly examine what products and processes you are using.

The older hair gets, the more care you need to give it. Hair rubbing against your collars and clothing is hair that is going to break. Hair that is not frequently and regularly washed and conditioned is hair that is going to be dry and break. Hair that is subject to rough combing and brushing is hair that is going to break. No deep conditioning - dry breaking hair; dry environment without extra conditioning and care to the hair means dry and breaking hair. Product buildup will lead to dry breaking hair. Too much and too high a temperature wheusing heat - drying breaking hair. Relaxed hair that is not properly and carefully cared for - dry and breaking. Poor care and products are going to lead to breaking and dry hair - always.

If you examine these boards, you will find myraid ways to give your hair the care it needs including a variety of products in every price range. You know what you want; you're in the right place to learn how to get it; go for it with a positive attitude rejecting all negativity.

 

[cocoberry10]

Sadly, many women think like this (even a few on this board). However, I have seen too many women reach APL, BSL, MBL, WL and even butt length to know that cannot be true.

And (since this has been on so many threads lately), you do not have to be biracial to achieve long hair, nor are you guaranteed long hair simply b/c you are biracial

Anyway, once you learn what your hair likes, dislikes and it's needs, then you will be on your way to achieving your goals. I believe learning your hairs likes/dislikes is the hardest thing to find and once you do...GROW GIRL!

As for your sister, the proof will be in the pudding. When your hair reaches APL, BSL, WL, she will probably start paying her $5.00 to learn haircare secrets for herself and her clients! Many hairdressers have joined this board and their clients with their beautiful MBL, BSL and longer hair could be no happier!

 

[Jas123]

Sorry to be a Debbie Downer but I'm beginning to think this is the case for me. I will see at the end of the year if this is true. Just like baldness is due to genetics I would think hair length is tied as well.

Here's why I say this. I've never done the hair fads. I've never colored, bleached, fried it, tight braids, whatever. Before I really tried getting to to grow I've have shoulder length all my life. Only once in my early 20's did I have my hair cut in a short style. My routine was wash and condition once a week, press once a week (before I started relaxing) My hair has never been severely damaged as I can tell. No chewed up ends etc. So if my hair wasn't in bad condition why had it been shoulder length for ever? My short cut did grow back but to the same shoulder length. Only in the last two years has my hair reached a little past shoulder.

Maybe shoulder is all I can get. I'm not giving up but time will tell. Maybe I will be eating my words in the months to come I hope this is the case.

shoulder length is a "tempermental" length..very "funny style"..I would higly suggest wearing you hair up 5-7 days a week.. this will help tremendously. This is the length where you hair rubs against your clothes + exposure, which can equal breaking off you don't even notice... the only thing you notice is that your hair can't seem to get past this length.. keep up your good hair care...keep those ends m/s (moisturized/sealed) and keep those ends off your shoulders..I pretty much guarantee you will notice a difference in 3-6 mos..
hth

 

[sonce]

shoulder length is a "tempermental" length..very "funny style"..I would higly suggest wearing you hair up 5-7 days a week.. this will help tremendously. This is the length where you hair rubs against your clothes + exposure, which can equal breaking off you don't even notice... the only thing you notice is that your hair can't seem to get past this length.. keep up your good hair care...keep those ends m/s (moisturized/sealed) and keep those ends off your shoulders..I pretty much guarantee you will notice a difference in 3-6 mos..
hth

Very good advice.

 

[latingirly020488]

hey yall im a newbie just joined today ( 2/4/08 my b-day!!) anywho this thread is really touching .. because as a young child i never had hair past shoulder lenght .. but i always wanted to have long hair, i was living with my dad and would go to my aunt's house on the weekends and she would do my hair ,, and i would always tell her how I wanted to have long hair so bad and she would tell me that my hair would just never be long , cause my kinky hair was to course and dry and a whole bunch of bull . Now that I know how to properly take care of it , and im getting results because of the tips of lhcf girls , i cant wait to get more growth and shove it in her face!! I really wish I would have found this forum before .. by now I would have had like waist lenght hair lol . ( vent, i feel so much better now )

http://members.fotki.com/latingirly112484/about/

no password required

 

[Ivonnovi]

think about it this way. . .
1) fully relaxed hair NEVER reverts
2) if you see something that ISN'T bone straight coming from your scalp, it is NEW hair/new growth
3) you would only get relaxers when you saw new growth right?
4) so obviously your hair is GROWING. its just about keeping it on your head.


most people don't have a problem growing (because in the past they have ALWAYS "needed" a relaxer to "control/tame" their "naps"), they have a problem retaining. . . so if you are seeing new growth BUT also burning your ends off & seeing hair in the sink, AND you hair is staying the same length, you have to acknowledge that it it is GROWING the length just isn't changing because for ever bit you grow, u relax & then burn off or break

Mega
MEGA
Dittos on this reply. Yes, retention is the issue not hair growth!

 

[FlowerHair]

Your hair grows...its retention that you have to master

ITA.
As an experiment, you can color some hair in the nape and watch how fast your hair really grows! The color will move further down as your hair grows.

The art of growing hair is 90% keeping the ends whole so that you can retain the length you accumulate!

Your sister will be surprised a year from now when your hair has grown 5-6 inches

 

[Miss*Tress]

I once asked my stylist if I never had waist length hair as a child would I be able to attain that length as an adult. He told me it was unlikely. Now my hair is MBL (the longest ever in my life) and grazing the waist.

Just follow the advice of the ladies on the board about retaining your ends - the ends are the length - and you'll soon prove your sister wrong.

 

[Moroni]

My response to your sister would be: "Then why do I have to get relaxer touch-ups?" As long as you're breathing, your hair is growing. I know a lady whose beautiful, thick hair has been shoulder length, grazing her sweaters and rough clothing for years, and I suggested that she wear it up so that it would grow longer, and she said that her hair doesn't grow! So I asked her if she had to get a relaxer every so often, and she said, "Yep! Every 6 weeks like clockwork." I then asked her why, if her hair doesn't grow. Then she said that it only "grew" when she cut it, so she was going to start getting it cut every 6 weeks.....riiiiight! LOL

There are many "anti-logic" thoughts out there about our hair. Just know that if my naturally dry, fragile, fine and thin kinky coils can reach APL and beyond, yours can, too. I'm so glad you're here. Just stick to a good regimen, and your sister will see how truly UN-ENLIGHTENED her view is!

 

[myco]

shoulder length is a "tempermental" length..very "funny style"..I would higly suggest wearing you hair up 5-7 days a week.. this will help tremendously. This is the length where you hair rubs against your clothes + exposure, which can equal breaking off you don't even notice... the only thing you notice is that your hair can't seem to get past this length.. keep up your good hair care...keep those ends m/s (moisturized/sealed) and keep those ends off your shoulders..I pretty much guarantee you will notice a difference in 3-6 mos..
hth

I was just about to say the same thing. This is when hair starts coming into more contact with things: shirts, jewelry, car seats, seat belts, purse straps, etc. This is the milestone length where you really want to start wearing it down. Unfortunately, this is when you really need to put it up the most.

Unless you have an absolutely perfect regimen and your environment is having no affect on your hair whatsoever - you really can't definitively say that your genes will cap out at 18 inches (or whatever length). So I wouldn't put so much stock in genetics that it discourages you from trying. Retention is way more of a stumbling block than genetics.

 

[zzirvingj]

I don't believe that what your sister said is true. If you have new growth then your hair is growing. I think that was causes hair to stay one length is the way we treat our hair. The chemicals we use, heat damage, and lack of knowledge when handling our hair. Also bad practices from stylist and all the myths that surround our communities about hair care. Even the products that are marketed towards us can be harmful as well. It's not a matter of growing hair, but keeping and retaining what we grow. And by the way welcome!! Your definitely in the right place.

Listen to lboogie!!!

Her entire post was ON POINT!

 

[kellie7777]

ah man....that crap is hard to hear, especially when you on a mission. always some well meaning fam member to try to run you off the road. it's like when you trying they say don't bother, when you don't they say you neva try...
captain your own ship and if they want to ride along let them, if they want to man your boat, drop em off at the next port.