Long, healthy hair = ISOLATION!?

[blackpearl81]

I can't figure out if I'm hurt or just plain old annoyed. Ever since I decided to grow my hair out two years ago, and actually DID IT, I have seen the ugly side of this business erplexed Friends actin funny, Girls on the street givin me the side-eye, and family....and I now use that term loosely....where do I start?? Weave checks 24/7, talkin behind my back sayin I'm lying bout my hair....sayin its ain't tracks so it must be strand by strand.......and the jealousy is taking all new heights!! Ppl start trying to find other flaws of yours that they can pick on to make themselves feel better...instead of just asking what my hair routine is....I don't get it, but I feel sooooo isolated since reaching BSL and I plan to keep growing so what gives?? Anyone else with similar stories??

 

[JFK]

girl, do a search...plenty of stories.

but I personally can't wait to reach my goal so like another poster said,

"if they hate, then let 'em hate and watch the hair pile up" LOL

 

[MsChelle]

I get weave checked daily, fingers poking in the center of my bun to see if it is a hair piece, told I am lying and it is not all mine......I just laugh it off. It is just confirmation that my hard work is paying off. I have been known to grow my hair out only to hack it all off all of my life. People who have known me for a long time are used to me with long hair and the ones who are just now seeing it, well, I dont really care what they think. I just hate when they pull it. I rarely ever wear it down and when I do they start talking!

 

[ezina]

For each person that hates or is jealous of you because of your hair, there is another person who adores - secretly or otherwise - your long lengths; I'm sure of it! Feed off the attention and swang that hair, girl.

 

[RoseTintedCheeks]

Someone on another board brought this up today too.

It's a female thing for the most part. It's to the point where I get anxious if I am wearing my hair down because I know someone is going to touch it without warning. I learned to stop talking about my hair to women outside of the hair boards a long time ago.

Even if they ask what you do and tell them, then they just look at you like

 

[blackpearl81]

Someone on another board brought this up today too.

It's a female thing for the most part. It's to the point where I get anxious if I am wearing my hair down because I know someone is going to touch it without warning. I learned to stop talking about my hair to women outside of the hair boards a long time ago.

Even if they ask what you do and tell them, then they just look at you like

THAT LOOK HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD!! Ladies, I'm just so annoyed by it and I don't even like to wear my hair down anymore becuz I don't wanna deal with the drama.....Trust me, I could care less what people think...it just sucks that our some of our sistas resort to jealousy rather than embracing each other's accomplishments...

 

[DirtyJerzeyGirly]

I can't figure out if I'm hurt or just plain old annoyed. Ever since I decided to grow my hair out two years ago, and actually DID IT, I have seen the ugly side of this business erplexed Friends actin funny, Girls on the street givin me the side-eye, and family....and I now use that term loosely....where do I start?? Weave checks 24/7, talkin behind my back sayin I'm lying bout my hair....sayin its ain't tracks so it must be strand by strand.......and the jealousy is taking all new heights!! Ppl start trying to find other flaws of yours that they can pick on to make themselves feel better...instead of just asking what my hair routine is....I don't get it, but I feel sooooo isolated since reaching BSL and I plan to keep growing so what gives?? Anyone else with similar stories??

According to LHCF you should take these as compliments

 

[Your Cheeziness]

THAT LOOK HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD!! Ladies, I'm just so annoyed by it and I don't even like to wear my hair down anymore becuz I don't wanna deal with the drama.....Trust me, I could care less what people think...it just sucks that our some of our sistas resort to jealousy rather than embracing each other's accomplishments...

You have wonderful progress and don't let others deter you from wearing your hair the way you want. I can imagine how annoying that is. If they don't believe you, oh well.

Jealousy and ignorance is a helluva drug. And it really is ignorance on how to grow out healthy hair that is causing the jealousy.

 

[hothair]

I say let the hair loose and enjoy the fruits of your labour. You guys on here are too nice if I sniff a stank attitude from you, I won't even give you the time of day that makes you feel you can make snarky remarks not to talk of touching my hair. I wouldn't hide my hair away for nothing though.

 

[Evolving78]

i used to experience that mess at my old job before i cut all of my hair off. people that i was going crazy when i did that. i noticed a lot of that happening to a few other ladies on my shift. i can't wait to see the reactions i will get when my virgin hair makes it past BSL. i am closing in on APL and people feel like i need to do something with it if i am going to continue to grow my hair out. like what's the point of having long hair if you won't straighten it or get a relaxer?....

 

[JFK]

I say let the hair loose and enjoy the fruits of your labour. You guys on here are too nice if I sniff a stank attitude from you, I won't even give you the time of day that makes you feel you can make snarky remarks not to talk of touching my hair. I wouldn't hide my hair away for nothing though.

I don't know. I know earlier I said "let 'em hate" but I don't blame others for feeling anxious about wearing their hair down.

I personally believe that the "evil eye" exists and it's best not to draw too much attention to things that you value because jealousy can cause negative reactions to destroy what you have...that's just my belief though.

 

[**SaSSy**]

Maybe since you have been actively growing your hair, you are just more aware of the comments and observations of people around you. Your disposition may have changed due to exuding confidence and very little to do with your hair getting longer. Not saying it's a problem, but you might want to reevaluate the vibes you give off to people.

 

[butter_pecan]

Yes, lots of haters. They REALLY gonna be hatin' when I straighten it, because I've finally reached my HL goal *cheeses*

 

[MariposaSexyGirl]

I flip my hair and pay it no never mind . However I don't really mind if someone touches my hair especially if they ask me nicely.

 

[curlyninjagirl]

Someone on another board brought this up today too.

It's a female thing for the most part. It's to the point where I get anxious if I am wearing my hair down because I know someone is going to touch it without warning. I learned to stop talking about my hair to women outside of the hair boards a long time ago.

Even if they ask what you do and tell them, then they just look at you like

Not just a female thing. I see guys do this to each other all the time. (My ex was a pretty boy pacifist and guys wanted to kick his a$$ all the time because of the way he looked.) Heck, even animals do it. Haters gonna hate...

The same thing happened to me when I lost a lot of weight. I thought I'd gain acceptance but I actually lost a lot of friends due to jealousy. What a blower! That's why I'm kinda glad my hair shrinks up to my shoulders. I have this fear that some hater-*bleep* is gonna cut my hair off when it's longer. LOL

 

[mzteaze]

There will always be people willing to "knock you down a peg" to soothe their own insecurities. However, you shouldn't let it affect how YOU live your life. You worked hard to grow your hair, so if you choose to wear it out, do so.

Why allow their insecurities and/or curiosity isolate you?

 

[nicole625]

Well that sucks and im sorry to hear that.now that they are showing you who they really are, Ask yourself this, "are these the kind of people I want in my life anyway?".

 

[lesedi]

I'm sure it's irritating but think about the fact that the vast majority of us were taught that black hair doesn't and cannot grow long. When you haven't seen any exceptions to the rule your whole life, I'm sure you'd be dubious. It may be ignorant, but up until she posted the pics, I was CONVINCED Oprah had a weave....It didn't look fake, couldn't see any tracks but I just didn't believe that afro hair had the capacity to grow long ( a liitle remnant from my conditioning i guesserplexed). Also if you read all of these black hair magazines, they never give advice about how to grow hair long aside from 'call Taneisha at extensions-remy-plus: 0800....'. Those magazines (Hype Hair, Black hair, Sophisticates etc) are where a lot of black women are getting their information. They will be sceptical...

But forget them, you have earned the right to enjoy all that pretty hair!

 

[Shadiyah]

I don't know what age group you are in but let me tell you I have dealt with this all my life. The best thing to do is never tell them anything about yourself and if they want to believe it is a weave just let keep on. this if for you, right???? no one else. it maybe hard to swallow that your family would do you like this but they are women and the hard thing is that women are really mean it is in their blood they can't help it. so just keep it stepin. love them from a distance and keep your secrets. and tell them don't touch the bun stand up they don't know you like that don't be feeling all over me I have nothing to prove to you... I smile and laugh to myself every time someone have time to waste on me worrying about what I'm doing the people on the street just give them a big smile and say hey to yourlself I got it like that... they don't have a life. you feel me????

 

[hothair]

I don't know. I know earlier I said "let 'em hate" but I don't blame others for feeling anxious about wearing their hair down.

I personally believe that the "evil eye" exists and it's best not to draw too much attention to things that you value because jealousy can cause negative reactions to destroy what you have...that's just my belief though.

Ok then what's the point in growing your hair long if you can't enjoy the length because you're worried about folk's reaction. Its a bit like saying you won't work to get to the top of your career and enjoy it cause people would wish you bad, you have to have faith that what what got you there intended that you stay there..

 

[Shadiyah]

Yes, lots of haters. They REALLY gonna be hatin' when I straighten it, because I've finally reached my HL goal *cheeses*

CONGRATS!!!! ON THE HL YYYYYAAAAA FOR YOU

 

[NJoy]

I say, if it ain't affecting my cheese, girl please. hmph. Girl, get you some Diva shades, throw up a smirk and keep it moving. Haters only validate that you've got something going on. Get used to it. Apparently you do. *snaps*

 

[JFK]

Ok then what's the point in growing your hair long if you can't enjoy the length because you're worried about folk's reaction. Its a bit like saying you won't work to get to the top of your career and enjoy it cause people would wish you bad, you have to have faith that what what got you there intended that you stay there..

LOL....No.

That analogy doesn't work because I HAVE to work and always do my best to be the best and get the best for myself and family.

I don't HAVE to do a slow motion bun drop in front of a group of dry, dead, brittle hair chicks in the beauty store buying their 16" weaves. LOL

Like I said, I personally believe in not drawing TOO much or unnecessary attention to things I value because I personally believe that jealousy can have negative effects.

(And I'm not saying wearing your hair out is drawing too much attention but I can understand why some are anxious about drawing too much attention.)

**(Forgive me if this is read as harsh. I know sometimes things are read differently than if said)**

 

[AuNaturalMaMa]

What's funny to me is when they ask you is it real. They already have it set in their mind its not so why ask. If you say yes "you're lying". The only way they're happy is if you admit its fake. I also had a problem when people would say "oh I like that style, who did it?" I'd say I did it. And they'd proceed to say that I was lying and only stylists can do styles like that and its no way I did, ect.....It's so hard for people to accept that women can grow and style their own hair.

 

[NIN4eva]

OP, don't let those people steal your joy! Swang that hair! Swang it!! If they can't handle it, that's their problem.

 

[naturalTAN]

i used to experience that mess at my old job before i cut all of my hair off. people that i was going crazy when i did that. i noticed a lot of that happening to a few other ladies on my shift. i can't wait to see the reactions i will get when my virgin hair makes it past BSL. i am closing in on APL and people feel like i need to do something with it if i am going to continue to grow my hair out. like what's the point of having long hair if you won't straighten it or get a relaxer?....

and they don't even understand that not doing those things are probably 50% of why the hair is so healthy and long. people always ask me the same thing because i half-wig, phony puff/bun it all the time.

 

[TaraDyan]

Just came in to say your hair looks beautiful blackpearl81.

 

[abcd09]

I don't understand why people get attitudes and get angry over black women with long hair. I've seen people do what you say, find another flaw "she thinks she's cute" or "she's aint ---". I don't understand why people who are attractive or have an attractive quality get put down almost immediately by other women. THAT'S not cute.

And the thing is what's the big deal if it's long or fake or not? Does finding out it's a weave make them feel better? People actually look relieved when they find out another black woman has a weave. That's just sick.

 

[allmundjoi]

Hey, congrats on your hair! If they are hating you must be doing something right. See I don't hate, I congratulate and emulate...so what is your hair care regimen?

 

[tenderheaded]

It's not just black women! After a six month, wig wearing stretch, a white co-worker aked if my bun was "all mine". No one else asked that question. She then proceeded to ask if I planned to wear my hair like this all the time. Why does it matter? She still never came out and said it looked good.

Just wait until I do my October relaxer, I'm gonna add curls, then she can just swallow her teeth!!!