Relaxed heads = the odd chick out?

[yorkpatties]

Once upon a time, the naturalistas stood out in a crowd. I would turn my head to catch a glimpse at whatever creative style a sister was wearing or admire her stretched afro or twist out. These days, I feel like every time I see a black woman she is wearing a natural style, so much so that the ladies with relaxed hair stick out to me like they don't belong.

Okay, so this isn't a relaxer bashing thread. Just an observation.

I work in midtown Manhattan, for those out of NYC, this is a major corporate and financial hub. Even here I see natural ladies (and a lot of professional looking wigs) walking around at lunchtime in business suits. So I have been finding myself looking extra hard at the relaxed ladies...noticing all sorts of over processing, breakage, and making a mental note when I see a healthy relaxed head. LOL. (I am not against relaxers, I am against bad hair care practices). I don't think this is just a symptom of being a LHCFer because I've been a lurker for years but maybe as it's become more common to see US with healthy strands, the ladies with weak brittle, bone straight strands start to stick out like a sore thumb.

Anyone else starting to feel this way?

(I am sure there's been other threads similar to this one, sorry if I am repeating someone elses thoughts)

 

[chrisanddonniesmommy]

No. I think you just see more natural heads, which is good, as opposed to one look defining everyone.

 

[Honey Bee]

Here we go...

 

[Mai Tai]

Where I live I feel like the oddball because every... And I mean like 95% of the women have some type of long heavy duty Beyonce-esq weave and here I am wearing my real hair...Sucks to be me...

 

[Raspberry]

All depends on where you live and socialize. I'm seeing more visibly natural heads after the past few years but weaves/wigs are still like 60%. Shoot, in some areas I'm just happy to see a woman rockin any type of style instead of a doo-rag. But yea, I still see some to' up relaxed heads...

Caveat: Among middle class black folk I'm seeing better looking relaxed hair, especially among younger women and girls. Seems like internet hair tips are having an effect on the mainstream over time IMO, for both natural and relaxed.

I just like to see black women looking good and representing well, the natural vs. relaxed thing is fairly minor to me in that regard. In the big picture, overall presentation counts for us more than the individual hair practice.

 

[Blairx0]

I can see what you're saying. Healthy hair in any forum can seem like a rarity. Just means you must keep on fighting the good fight

 

[Raspberry]

Where I live I feel like the oddball because every... And I mean like 95% of the women have some type of long heavy duty Beyonce-esq weave and here I am wearing my real hair...Sucks to be me...

MaiTai you are too cute!

I don't understand why some women think those intense weaves are okay for daily use. Unless you're on Broadway or perform for a living it really doesn't make any sense. I would feel foolish and self-conscious walking around with one of those high density lacefronts on.

 

[reeko43]

Weave/wig wearers are clear majority that I see. I'd say 50% weave and 25% permed 25% natural. I almost broke my neck today walking to the subway when my sandal got tangled in what looked like an unraveled homemade weave ponytail.

 

[BraunSugar]

I rarely if ever see AA women wearing their actual hair, relaxed or natural where I live. Usually the only natural styles I see are locs. I also see more damaged hair than healthy for most women period.

 

[Dposh167]

i work in midtown too and weaves are #1.
a lot of women i see during lunch time are either weaved up or their wearing relaxed hair that's shorter or SL. I still think naturals stand out. Even in the club naturals stand out to me. Unless i go out to BK and i feel like an outcast being relaxed

 

[Dposh167]

@MaiTai you are too cute!

I don't understand why some women think those intense weaves are okay for daily use. Unless you're on Broadway or perform for a living it really doesn't make any sense. I would feel foolish and self-conscious walking around with one of those high density lacefronts on.

i don't get it either. I wear wigs myself...actually i'm wearing a homemade one in my avatar. I can't walk out the house with a lion's mane of hair on my head. I don't understand how they do it.

 

[yorkpatties]

Just a few years ago everyone was weaved up, myself included, I just don't see it so much these days.

It's also becoming known to yt ppl. A few weeks ago I walked past a hair salon with a male friend who commented on the 1 chick in the salon and mentioned that she was the LAST Black chick in Brooklyn getting a relaxer.
And I'm thinking "Who taught you natural!"

 

[yorkpatties]

i work in midtown too and weaves are #1.
a lot of women i see during lunch time are either weaved up or their wearing relaxed hair that's shorter or SL. I still think naturals stand out. Even in the club naturals stand out to me. Unless i go out to BK and i feel like an outcast being relaxed

Okay, Midtown is BIG, when I am near Macy's and that shopping area I still see weaves. Further up near the park and the high-end stores I see a lot of wigs and naturals.

Not a hard and fast rule obviously, just what I seem to notice. And certain parts of Brooklyn (Fulton Mall) STAY in the tackiest of weaves. It's funny because every store is sneaker store, hair store, sneaker store, hair store...

 

[MrsJaiDiva]

I'm seeing a Lot of Naturals in the Bronx, and NYC....but after being on here, damaged hair and brokedown weaves stand out like beacons to me. Tired braids and weaves, and dry bushy natural hair make me want to Scream, and attack their heads with some Wen and some oils. :assimilat I swear I almost jumped on my friend today!

There's just no excuse for ashy, ratchet hair...there just isn't!

 

[jazzybklyn]

Where I live I feel like the oddball because every... And I mean like 95% of the women have some type of long heavy duty Beyonce-esq weave and here I am wearing my real hair...Sucks to be me...

I agree with this. I think not having weave is what's RARE. Idek who's relaxed or natural because most people wear weave. Real hair is rare to me especially real, long hair. I catch myself staring at nice heads of real hair

 

[DarkJoy]

I'm in the Bay Area. 20 years ago my friends didn't even want to be seen with me and laughed when I ditched the creamy crack and chopped for the first time in 1992 I LOVE how the times are a-changing.

Here, I'm seeing a lot of sisters with natural-LOOKING weaves or wigs. I do give credit for those that sport the natural look at least. Heck, I got a kinky half-wig for when I wanna fill out my fro on a Saturday night.

I think a lot seems to be on the social sub-groups people are in. I see many into the superstars (youngsters mostly) seem to sport the waist length silky bone straight weave (and have the clothes and spiked heels to match). Bohemians and artsy types might sport their natural coils/curls. Professionals are mixed between TWAs and the conservative weave/wig.

Generalizations all of these, but I think you get the idea. Deepends on what area you go to out here too... but there ARE more naturals.

That said, I see lots of relaxers on my generation (late 30s, early 40s). They don't seem to be too big on the weave.

But am thrilled that more naturals are showing off what the good lord gave 'em...and that I'm no longer the one being gawked at for having a natural

 

[drmuffin]

Where I live, being natural is a rarity. Kinda makes me feel special. The only other natural that I always see is a lady at church who I swear is the devil. But I digress. Now when I go to Houston, I'm like, "Ooh, there's a natural! Ooh, there's another natural!" So I guess it does depend on where you are.

 

[yorkpatties]

20 years ago my friends didn't even want to be seen with me and laughed when I ditched the creamy crack and chopped for the first time in 1992 I LOVE how the times are a-changing.

Wow, that's a hell of a start on the natural hair movement. 1992? That's a lil after the late 80's Props to Africa movement and pre-dates the mid-90's neo-soul movement, so you were just all by your lonely I am sure. What prompted you to ditch relaxers then?
I cut my relaxers out in 1994, but this was due to RIO Hair and I wore extensions exclusively, so I was barely a natural back then but I sure wasn't into chemicals.

 

[DarkJoy]

Wow, that's a hell of a start on the natural hair movement. 1992? That's a lil after the late 80's Props to Africa movement and pre-dates the mid-90's neo-soul movement, so you were just all by your lonely I am sure. What prompted you to ditch relaxers then?
I cut my relaxers out in 1994, but this was due to RIO Hair and I wore extensions exclusively, so I was barely a natural back then but I sure wasn't into chemicals.

Hey, you weren't far behind me, yorkpatties, Miss 1994!

In '92 I BCd for the first time because I had no luck with relaxers. The burns and scabs were terrible. The stylist couldnt even finish the application before I started burning. I didn't know then that I had eczema. From then it was a cycle: relax, chop, braid, relax. Throw in the occassional weave. Never much longer than NL. 2008 was my last time in this cycle--when the relaxer fell into my eye! I'm gonna grow out this ish natural, goshdernit! At least I'm not alone this time

 

[EbonyCPrincess]

Just curious...how can you tell between relaxed and straightened naturals? I've seen some chewed up looking hair that was straightened to within an inch of its life that was completely natural and also some full, thick, healthy looking relaxed hair...so I can't always tell the difference when looking.

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

This could be said about any particular hair style. A few years ago, naturals stood out. Twenty years ago, weaves stood out. It's no biggie. Personally, as long as I see more healthy heads than damaged ones, I'm proud. I don't see that many differences between relaxed healthy heads and natural healthy heads. We can still talk hair

 

[greenandchic]

Where I now live I see a lot of chewed up relaxed and natural hair. I was wearing my hair in a ponytail today and for some reason that style get a lot of attention - I guess people asking if its real or not and shocked that its MY hair. Portland is very different from the Bay Area where I'm from. I'm the odd one out in so many ways...

As long as their hair is healthy, it could be relaxed or natural.

 

[AltheaGarden]

I rarely if ever see AA women wearing their actual hair, relaxed or natural where I live. Usually the only natural styles I see are locs. I also see more damaged hair than healthy for most women period.

@BraunSugar
Really? That's disappointing to hear. I just moved back to the Seattle area literally a day ago. This is my first time being back since going natural and before I did seem to recall seeing a lot of damaged hair but I didn't seem to notice the lack of naturals since I was still relaxed then. I wonder if it has something to do with curly/kinky women maintaining straight hair in humid/wet weather. I know that's how my relaxed hair got super damaged.

 

[afroette]

I only see (bad) weaves, braids, and natural hair where I'm at

 

[yorkpatties]

Just curious...how can you tell between relaxed and straightened naturals? I've seen some chewed up looking hair that was straightened to within an inch of its life that was completely natural and also some full, thick, healthy looking relaxed hair...so I can't always tell the difference when looking.

Very true EbonyPrincess, you'll never know for sure. From experiencing relaxer damage and heat styling damage in my past, the 2 versions of jacked-up hair was quite different, though still jacked-up. LOL Just speaking for myself here, the way Soft & Beautiful and Just for Me messed me up was much different than how the hot comb messed me up. More of what is standing out to me these days are Black chicks with straight hair. It's getting to the point where...you know how you see an Asian girl with bleached-blonde hair and she sticks out?...yeah, like that.

 

[Guinan]

In the Tri-State Area (Philly, Jersey, Delaware) there seems to be more naturals. I'm a fan of both naturals and relaxed. I think it's like everyone else has said, as long as it's healthy.

 

[yorkpatties]

I'm a fan of both naturals and relaxed. I think it's like everyone else has said, as long as it's healthy.

I love a healthy relaxed head of hair. There are relaxed ladies on the board who make me think I may relax again. I don't see great relaxed heads on the streets though. I know they exist outside of LHCF, but I just don't see them. Most of the (visibly) relaxed heads I see in real life are in that micro ponytail where they gel the sides and back up but it's still hanging down anyway.

 

[BraunSugar]

@BraunSugar
Really? That's disappointing to hear. I just moved back to the Seattle area literally a day ago. This is my first time being back since going natural and before I did seem to recall seeing a lot of damaged hair but I didn't seem to notice the lack of naturals since I was still relaxed then. I wonder if it has something to do with curly/kinky women maintaining straight hair in humid/wet weather. I know that's how my relaxed hair got super damaged.

I think that is a factor in it. Since I started living here, I realized that I would either have to wear wash & gos all the time or twists & braids. I straightened my hair once and it was poofy and frizzy within about 20 minutes. I can't imagine trying to always keep it straight. I would have to end up getting a fade lol

 

[Britt]

Interesting - I live in BK and work in the financial district and relaxers and weaves are what I see mostly. Natural heads stick out to me. I see them occassionally on the train. The only time I see a lot of naturals is if i'm in Clinton Hills or a trendy type spot/restaurant like Peaches in Bed Stuy. Only on the forums do I feel like a minority, def not in real life. I also see way more weaves than anything followed by relaxed hair.

 

[chrisanddonniesmommy]

I forgot to add that I live in L.A., where it's slowly but surely happen. However, here in La La Land, wigs/weaves are still king.