Natural Hair and White Men

S

Syrah

Well-Known Member
Totally off topic...I've been natural for about 2 years but have been wearing my hair naturally for about a year - before that, because I did the big chop and no one told me that I had a ROUND ASS head, I was addicted to the blow dryer. My cute little cut looked fly when I walked out of the hair salon, but I couldn't do anything with it once I washed it on my own. But I digress...

But I finally figured it out - and after some help from some LHCF ladies, I've got a decent routine going (bless your hair SO1913). When wet my hair is bra strap length, when dry it's right below my ears - 4abc whatever (I never understood the classifications). It's fun for now.

But here's the crazy thing about it - and let me start by saying that I live in LA - that might have something to do with it. When I was relaxed and straight, I got attention from the brothers. I went curly and it's the craziest thing - white and arabic (persian and armenian) men seem to love it. And I'm not sure why. And sometimes I wonder - do people interpret natural hair as some sort of statement about blackness - which again, is a bit confusing because it attracts the non-black folks. Do black people try and make natural hair into some sort of statement of blackness? I digress AGAIN.

I was in Chicago, down by the lake with friends hanging out and sure enough, here comes this guy "your hair is adorable" chat chat chat - it always seems to lead down the road "can you do my hair like that?" (no honey, just another one of those things for black folks) "can I buy you a drink?". HUH?

I guess I'm just surprised because it is the last thing I would have expected - white boys diggin' the natural hair. Has anyone else experienced this?
 
I've had the same experience, white people give me compliments all the time. Black people only ask me: 'when are you going to relax your hair?'
 
A friend of mine with natural hair talked to me about this, and after that i started to ask male friends and relatives about it

Alot of them said either
-They believed that women with natural hair were very pro-black, and earthy or serious or trying to get to their roots, and some more hoopla, it was basically their misunderstanding natural hair, thinking that natural hair was out of the norm, and putting way more into it than needed be
or
-They just didnt like/were not used to natural hair


Another thing that i was thinking is it has to with what we see alot in our own race
A white man or whatever doesnt know that much about our culture, so they are more than likely to accept and not see much difference in light skinned or dark, natural hair or relaxed
A black man probally notices and is aware of every single thing that we do, and are more pickey towards what they like, just like if they were dating a white girl they might care less whether she was blond and straight or brunette and curly
 
I find that white people in general love our natural hair. They find it fascinating and they wonder why all black people dont wear our hair that way. Seems like our people have a problem with our own natural hair.
Disclaimer: not all black people feel that way.
 
naturallady said:
I find that white people in general love our natural hair. They find it fascinating and they wonder why all black people dont wear our hair that way. Seems like our people have a problem with our own natural hair.
Disclaimer: not all black people feel that way.
Click to expand...


(There are alot of white people who think natural hair is ugly or unproffesional too, their beliefs and invention of the word "nappy" is one of the main reasons some black people hate their own hair---but i get your point)

But, i really dont pay attention to what people of other races think (not to be negative)
Because people always admire what they dont have/dont know about

White people admire natural hair and wonder why more black people dont wear it natural
But at the same time, they get tans, shots in their lips and butt, curl their own hair if its straight...and no-one asks them why they dont just wear their natural skin color, or body shape, or hair

People just love to have what they dont, it doesnt always have to be negative, i think its natural sometimes, as long as you dont put down your own natural qualities in the process like theirs something wrong with it
 
naturallady said:
I find that white people in general love our natural hair. They find it fascinating and they wonder why all black people dont wear our hair that way. Seems like our people have a problem with our own natural hair.
Disclaimer: not all black people feel that way.
Click to expand...
ITA, but I find that most ppl of other races male or female feel interested by natural black hair. I've only been hit on by a hadn full of wm that I was aware of, so while I've noticed more interest I haven't notived anymore trying to pick me up. I think it's interesting. but I don't really get any less compliments from black men, but I do find they are alittle more polite. LIke men will come up and call me sister, or miss thang affectionately rather then thick legs or just "pssstt"ing; it's like higher caliber cat calls. I still don't respond:look: but I notice the difference.
 
I'm not even natural but I noticed WnGs get much more attention than straight hair on me. :ohwell:
 
I noticed that I get more attention with wash n' go's or fro's then straight hair.
Even tough I had a few black men commenting on my wng most compliments were given from non-black men.
 
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I think it has something to do with being enamored with something that is unfamiliar to you. I mean should we really be surprised. Our hair in it's natural state is beautiful - seems black folks are more hung up about it than anyone else.

My SO is still intrigued by my hair and the fact that the bottoms of my feet are white - weird. I never really thought about it but the first time he saw the bottoms of my feet he was like - that's so cute. I made a weird face at first. :look:

LOL, he said he'd never really thought about it but it was "different" and he thought it was cute.

Go figure*
 
fluffylocks said:
A friend of mine with natural hair talked to me about this, and after that i started to ask male friends and relatives about it

Alot of them said either
-They believed that women with natural hair were very pro-black, and earthy or serious or trying to get to their roots, and some more hoopla, it was basically their misunderstanding natural hair, thinking that natural hair was out of the norm, and putting way more into it than needed be
or
-They just didnt like/were not used to natural hair


Another thing that i was thinking is it has to with what we see alot in our own race
A white man or whatever doesnt know that much about our culture, so they are more than likely to accept and not see much difference in light skinned or dark, natural hair or relaxed
A black man probally notices and is aware of every single thing that we do, and are more pickey towards what they like, just like if they were dating a white girl they might care less whether she was blond and straight or brunette and curly
Click to expand...


ITA. Some people of other races are unencumbered with all our (black people in general) hang ups. If you didn't grow up hearing the light skin/dark skin, good hair/bad hair stuff, then it's not as big of a deal.
 
i have to agree. I think they are fascinated and interested. i had white HAIRDRESSERS tell me that they didn't realize that our hair doesn't grow straight out of our head. i was like WHAT?! Everytime I go to the Aveda salon school out here in Ny to color they are always amazed at my hair, that it stays where u put it and of the texture.
Overall i think its something totally different than what they know. A lot of people have never been close enough to someone to actually touch the texture and see that its not like a brillo pad, which is what most people think.
 
I had the exact same experience. I wore my hair in natural braids ( which alot of white people mistakenly called dreads but whatever ) the ends curled after I wet them and the braids were springy like ringlets would be. So I had people all the time pull one so they could watch it go 'boing!' I did get hit on by black men, but it was more the thoughtful intellectual type, or Africans. Who always wanted to know which island I was from.I got hit on by foreign men, but mostly white guys. I think most black men see natural hair and think "issues". Like I'm going to jump on a soapbox and give a speech everytime we go somewhere or I'll flip out on him if he isn't a vegetarian. My mom would get mad at me when I was little b/c I would go to sleepovers and let all my little white friends mess with my hair. I came back looking like Marge Simpson on a bender.

When I relaxed -- the brothers SWARMED out of the woodwork. They were especially intrigued by it's being real which was semi-alarming. I still get hit on by white guys, and foreign guys....I think foreign guys just really like black women. Go figure - the guys that want us live in another country. :ohwell:
 
Last edited:
adequate said:
I think it has something to do with being enamored with something that is unfamiliar to you. I mean should we really be surprised. Our hair in it's natural state is beautiful - seems black folks are more hung up about it than anyone else.

My SO is still intrigued by my hair and the fact that the bottoms of my feet are white - weird. I never really thought about it but the first time he saw the bottoms of my feet he was like - that's so cute. I made a weird face at first. :look:

LOL, he said he'd never really thought about it but it was "different" and he thought it was cute.

Go figure*
Click to expand...


My experience exactly, expecially the color variation between palm of hands and bottom of feet thang. As the french say, vive la difference (sp?!). People are attracted to what is "exotic" or "different" . . . .
 
naturallady said:
I find that white people in general love our natural hair. They find it fascinating and they wonder why all black people dont wear our hair that way. Seems like our people have a problem with our own natural hair.
Disclaimer: not all black people feel that way.
Click to expand...

I so agree! Whenever I wear my hair in braids, or twists, or a twistout (like yesterday) everyone LOVES LOVES LOVES my hair. This was my first twistout, and I went to work very self-conscious. However, today I have it slick back into a pinned plait, and everyone (white) is wondering why I changed my hair.

On the other hand, my family hates my braids, twists, and twist outs...
Go figure...
 
Neroli said:
My experience exactly, expecially the color variation between palm of hands and bottom of feet thang. As the french say, vive la difference (sp?!). People are attracted to what is "exotic" or "different" . . . .
Click to expand...

Likewise I'm intrigued by his chamelion like ability to transform from color to color depending on his mood. LOL.

It's so easy to tell when he's embarrassed cause he's bright bright red!

LOL - he hates that but I find it adorable. :perplexed
 
Yea - I've noticed that too. Now the brothers are calling me "sister" instead of "shorty" (I'm glad to see shorty go) and are far more polite. Again I'm thinking that it has something to do with the association between natural hair and black political statements (cuz last I checked, Angela Davis was not running around with the Panthers with a relaxer).

I had one guy ask me if I ever wear my hair straight. "Sure, when I feel like it" (plus I snowboard and can't get a beanie on this curly mess to save my life HAHA - it'll sit like 8 inches off of my head). And he was surprised "oh really - I thought you weren't supposed to do that". HUH? I get bored, I straighten it. I get lazy, I wear it curly. And when I really get lazy, I slap it back in pony and call it a day. It's fun.

It's just interesting. I guess I never figured the white boys would be an unexpected result of having curly hair. Not bad. Not good. Just is.
 
Soliel185 said:
I had the exact same experience. I wore my hair in natural braids ( which alot of white people mistakenly called dreads but whatever ) the ends curled after I wet them and the braids were springy like ringlets would be. So I had people all the time pull one so they could watch it go 'boing!' I did get hit on by black men, but it was more the thoughtful intellectual type, or Africans. Who always wanted to know which island I was from.I got hit on by foreign men, but mostly white guys. I think most black men see natural hair and think "issues". Like I'm going to jump on a soapbox and give a speech everytime we go somewhere or I'll flip out on him if he isn't a vegetarian. My mom would get mad at me when I was little b/c I would go to sleepovers and let all my little white friends mess with my hair. I came back looking like Marge Simpson on a bender.

When I relaxed -- the brothers SWARMED out of the woodwork. They were especially intrigued by it's being real which was semi-alarming. I still get hit on by white guys, and foreign guys....I think foreign guys just really like black women. Go figure - the guys that want us live in another country. :ohwell:
Click to expand...

Yea - I'm wondering where that "natural hair + black woman = political soapbox" came from. I'm sure it has to do with the fact that the movements back in the sixties/seventies associated with natural black everything. As if to say that if you're not natural you can't have some serious thoughts on the state of the black community.

Maybe it is like another poster said - it's something new and something different. Something unaccustomed and something to learn about and experience. I dunno what the draw is. Again, just an observation.
 
fluffylocks said:
(There are alot of white people who think natural hair is ugly or unproffesional too, their beliefs and invention of the word "nappy" is one of the main reasons some black people hate their own hair---but i get your point)

But, i really dont pay attention to what people of other races think (not to be negative)
Because people always admire what they dont have/dont know about

White people admire natural hair and wonder why more black people dont wear it natural
But at the same time, they get tans, shots in their lips and butt, curl their own hair if its straight...and no-one asks them why they dont just wear their natural skin color, or body shape, or hair

People just love to have what they dont, it doesnt always have to be negative, i think its natural sometimes, as long as you dont put down your own natural qualities in the process like theirs something wrong with it
Click to expand...

But maybe that's just it. Everything is a matter of perception. Maybe some folks interpret natural hair as a bad thing because we in the community perceive it as a bad thing because we were taught that it was a bad thing. We could back and forth forever.

But that also doesn't mean that it's ever too late for a change in perception. I work in Corporate America as a consultant and have never had anyone non-black make a comment about my hair (which I'm sure has less to do with curiousity and more to do with law suits and discrimination) and like others, I've had black folks ask me what I do with it when I go to work. But again, maybe that isn't necessarily a negative thing, but curiousity within our own community as to whether or not it is accepted in Corporate America.

My point: who knows - maybe WE are just as curious about each other as folks are about us?

And I say this because for every non-black male thats shown interest in my hair or used it as a intro to a conversation, there's been a sister with questions. "How'd you get your hair curly" - it grew out my head that way. "How'd you know you had curly hair" - I didn't. I just decided to let it grow and see one day. "When you decided to do that, what happens if you didn't like the texture" - then I would slap a relaxer back in it and go back to what I was doing before.

And I still might do that - this isn't a statement, it's an experiment that I'm enjoying right now.
 
Hmmm...D'ya think maybe it's just because you're really CUTE? (You are! I peeked!)

But seriously, I have been harboring a wish that there would be massive backlash to the Barabi-doll,size zero (another topic, I know!) media archetype of the perfect woman! So maybe it's the beginning of something positive....

Woo Hoo!
 
Looks like I'm gonna be doing some serious braidouts from now on. i'm talkin 60 braids!:lachen:
 
I totally feel where your coming from. The others seem to love my bush & the brothers wonder when I will straighten this new hair. lol
 
adequate said:
Likewise I'm intrigued by his chamelion like ability to transform from color to color depending on his mood. LOL.

It's so easy to tell when he's embarrassed cause he's bright bright red!

LOL - he hates that but I find it adorable. :perplexed
Click to expand...


Yep that bright red is a big giveaway! I'm medium color, kinda "regular" skin tone and not on either extreme of the beautiful black spectrum but somewhere smaak in the middle) and I can my blushes . . .
 
I have a white male friend who has locks... as in dread locks... and I know it's weird for me to see that style on a white male... or female for that matter. (Sorry off subject slightly)
 
MsNadi said:
Totally off topic...I've been natural for about 2 years but have been wearing my hair naturally for about a year - before that, because I did the big chop and no one told me that I had a ROUND ASS head, I was addicted to the blow dryer. My cute little cut looked fly when I walked out of the hair salon, but I couldn't do anything with it once I washed it on my own. But I digress...

But I finally figured it out - and after some help from some LHCF ladies, I've got a decent routine going (bless your hair SO1913). When wet my hair is bra strap length, when dry it's right below my ears - 4abc whatever (I never understood the classifications). It's fun for now.

But here's the crazy thing about it - and let me start by saying that I live in LA - that might have something to do with it. When I was relaxed and straight, I got attention from the brothers. I went curly and it's the craziest thing - white and arabic (persian and armenian) men seem to love it. And I'm not sure why. And sometimes I wonder - do people interpret natural hair as some sort of statement about blackness - which again, is a bit confusing because it attracts the non-black folks. Do black people try and make natural hair into some sort of statement of blackness? I digress AGAIN.

I was in Chicago, down by the lake with friends hanging out and sure enough, here comes this guy "your hair is adorable" chat chat chat - it always seems to lead down the road "can you do my hair like that?" (no honey, just another one of those things for black folks) "can I buy you a drink?". HUH?

I guess I'm just surprised because it is the last thing I would have expected - white boys diggin' the natural hair. Has anyone else experienced this?
Click to expand...

idk if that's true, but I do know I get hit on by SO MANY hispanic guys when I wear braidouts. It could also be that I don't have many white guys in my neighborhood. Only at the mall.
 
I live in NJ when I was natural years ago, black people didn't find my hair amusing, they said that since we have perms available we should use them and other inappropriate comments, however I noticed that white men were in love with my hair so it must be a universal thing.
 
firecracker said:
I totally feel where your coming from. The others seem to love my bush & the brothers wonder when I will straighten this new hair. lol
Click to expand...

Our people are trying hard to be different and people appreciate our natural beauty whiy else will white folks get dreds, big lips and now getting butt implants.
 
MsNadi said:
Totally off topic...I've been natural for about 2 years but have been wearing my hair naturally for about a year - before that, because I did the big chop and no one told me that I had a ROUND ASS head, I was addicted to the blow dryer. My cute little cut looked fly when I walked out of the hair salon, but I couldn't do anything with it once I washed it on my own. But I digress...

But I finally figured it out - and after some help from some LHCF ladies, I've got a decent routine going (bless your hair SO1913). When wet my hair is bra strap length, when dry it's right below my ears - 4abc whatever (I never understood the classifications). It's fun for now.

But here's the crazy thing about it - and let me start by saying that I live in LA - that might have something to do with it. When I was relaxed and straight, I got attention from the brothers. I went curly and it's the craziest thing - white and arabic (persian and armenian) men seem to love it. And I'm not sure why. And sometimes I wonder - do people interpret natural hair as some sort of statement about blackness - which again, is a bit confusing because it attracts the non-black folks. Do black people try and make natural hair into some sort of statement of blackness? I digress AGAIN.

I was in Chicago, down by the lake with friends hanging out and sure enough, here comes this guy "your hair is adorable" chat chat chat - it always seems to lead down the road "can you do my hair like that?" (no honey, just another one of those things for black folks) "can I buy you a drink?". HUH?

I guess I'm just surprised because it is the last thing I would have expected - white boys diggin' the natural hair. Has anyone else experienced this?
Click to expand...

I totally agree with you. :yep: When I was a nappy-head, the white guys were all over me. I'm telling you. I had white men trying to get it to me all the time. The brothers weren't biting, though. I got some that would holla but for the most part, only the brothers who were more militant, perhaps more of the Muslim brothers didn't have a problem with my hair. But it's sad when most black people had a fit when I went natural, especially black women.

Disclaimer: it's shame that I have to put this disclaimer here, but when I say "blacks this" or "whites that," I am NOT painting with a broad brush. Just speaking based on *my* experiences.
 
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