List the Setbacks You Suffered That You Want Others to Avoid
- Thread starter lilamae
- Start date
LikeNoOther
Active Member
My #1 Setback was self-relaxing with a professional relaxer (affirm).
Never again
. I would advise anyone to let a professional apply chemicals. If you are new to self-relaxing it may not be the route for you. When I came to this board 4 years ago, it seemed that everyone said that Affirm was the 'ish
. My hair would come out good at first, but then it started to just come out, period 
. I lost all the length that I gained; and my already fine hair, thinned out more.
Other setbacks include:
~ Stretching for too long (I do not think fine hair can withstand this)
~ Too frequent flat ironing with my CHI
~ Trying tooo many products; not establishing a consistent regimen
~ Improper use of protein
~ Not using the proper relaxer strength
I hope this thread prevents others from experiencing the same mishaps
Never again
. I would advise anyone to let a professional apply chemicals. If you are new to self-relaxing it may not be the route for you. When I came to this board 4 years ago, it seemed that everyone said that Affirm was the 'ish. My hair would come out good at first, but then it started to just come out, period . I lost all the length that I gained; and my already fine hair, thinned out more.Other setbacks include:
~ Stretching for too long (I do not think fine hair can withstand this
)~ Too frequent flat ironing with my CHI
~ Trying tooo many products; not establishing a consistent regimen
~ Improper use of protein
~ Not using the proper relaxer strength
I hope this thread prevents others from experiencing the same mishaps
BeautifulFlower
Well-Known Member
My Story:
I had a weave in, and before I part in it in, I did not fully detangle my hair. When I removed my weave, my hair was very tangled. I washed my hair with shampoo, it became much more tangled and dreaded up bad. I had to sleep with conditioner overnight and spend the next day carefully detangling and not ripping out my hair.
Moral:
DO NOT SHAMPOO SEVERELY TANGLED HAIR!
I had a weave in, and before I part in it in, I did not fully detangle my hair. When I removed my weave, my hair was very tangled. I washed my hair with shampoo, it became much more tangled and dreaded up bad. I had to sleep with conditioner overnight and spend the next day carefully detangling and not ripping out my hair.
Moral:
DO NOT SHAMPOO SEVERELY TANGLED HAIR!
LikeNoOther
Active Member
You are absolutely correct! This happened to me once. My hairdresser at the time told me that when you wet matted or tangled hair, it locks up
Consequently, I received an impromptu hair cut that day
erplexed
Shinka
Well-Known Member
My setback is going natural 5 times....maybe more
For the past 6 years I have gone through cutting my hair all off to growing it out for about 6 months, then relaxing it for 6 months. Then I start the process all over. I'm indecisive about natural vs. perm. I can't decided how I want my hair. Since my hair grows nicely anyway..it's a justification for my cutting: "It's just hair, it'll grow back"
So now I'm permed after being 4 months natural. After wearing this perm for 2 months, I want to be natural again. I decided this time no more extreme BC's, so If I decide to give up the creamy crack, I'll transition. As my best friend states, my hair would be to my butt if I stopped cutting it.
So, My setback is constant BC's and impatience...Maybe its because I'm bipolar...My moodiness affects my hair...lol
For the past 6 years I have gone through cutting my hair all off to growing it out for about 6 months, then relaxing it for 6 months. Then I start the process all over. I'm indecisive about natural vs. perm. I can't decided how I want my hair. Since my hair grows nicely anyway..it's a justification for my cutting: "It's just hair, it'll grow back"
So now I'm permed after being 4 months natural. After wearing this perm for 2 months, I want to be natural again. I decided this time no more extreme BC's, so If I decide to give up the creamy crack, I'll transition. As my best friend states, my hair would be to my butt if I stopped cutting it.
So, My setback is constant BC's and impatience...Maybe its because I'm bipolar...My moodiness affects my hair...lol
MsAngie
New Member
Yep, my hair has been tramatized by Dark and Lovely color, and a stylist who PROMISED me she knew what she was doing.
BeautifulFlower
Well-Known Member
You wanted a hair cut?
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You are absolutely correct! This happened to me once. My hairdresser at the time told me that when you wet matted or tangled hair, it locks up
Consequently, I received an impromptu hair cut that day
Well for me, i kept my hair braided back to back for almost six months and had so much newgrowth. After taking down my last set of braids i decided i wanted to transition, well everyone kept saying your hair is soo long you should put a relaxer in it so u can see your length . Well I did and now I am transitioning from scratch, i would have alot of NATURAL hair by now. My lesson is never let anyone influence your decision about your hair, it yours; and if you ever get anxious to see length just flat iron.
Travis Girl
New Member
Don't cut your DRY ends just because they're DRY. They probably just need moisture
I made the mistake of trimming off my hair when I first went natural cuz the ends were dry. I was mistaking dry hair for damaged/split hair.
Yup, I'd been there-done that too!
Now, I know better!Very good idea!
I flat ironed for the first time in about 8 weeks, and I see my length is getting longer. I would have really regretted it I ran to get a relaxer!Highly Favored8
Well-Known Member
slow growth in the Middle of my head in the back. My sides are thick and APL and some of my Back is Long, but a little shorter caused by too many low pony tails.
BillsBackerz67
Well-Known Member
I know low manipulation regimens work for some people...but I am not one of them. I have to comb my hair everyday or everyother day or else im asking for tons of single strand knots and massive tangles. Finger combing doesnt do ish for my hair either. that leaves tons of shed hair behind that can become my worst enemy if not removed.
Shinka
Well-Known Member
good advice
HeChangedMyName
Well-Known Member
I set myself back by jumping on the glycerin and water bandwagon. turns out my hair hates it and between that and my rubber bands, my hair got dry and ate up. While water is the best all-around moisturizer, my hair likes creamy things, not runny things.
Stretching also tore my head up. I heard that stretching was a good thing, and I'm not knocking it for those that it works for, but my point is that my hair broke really bad in the crown near the back right at the demarkation(sp?) point. If you're relaxed, in my opinion, you need to keep your relaxer up on a regular basis, unless you are recovering from some type of damage.
Washing my hair too often. I don't use much in the way of grease and heavy stuff so I tried washing more often and only ended up with brittle hair. I guess because I was using the glycerin and water, my hair was just starved for something else. My hair felt like straw.
Stretching also tore my head up. I heard that stretching was a good thing, and I'm not knocking it for those that it works for, but my point is that my hair broke really bad in the crown near the back right at the demarkation(sp?) point. If you're relaxed, in my opinion, you need to keep your relaxer up on a regular basis, unless you are recovering from some type of damage.
Washing my hair too often. I don't use much in the way of grease and heavy stuff so I tried washing more often and only ended up with brittle hair. I guess because I was using the glycerin and water, my hair was just starved for something else. My hair felt like straw.
mezzogirl
Active Member
Setbacks:
Putting permanant color on my hair. I thought it would'nt cause damage because I went darker instead of lighter. It was a store bought brand. My hair became brittle and I started seeing lots of hair on my bathroom floor.
Impatience
Letting someone cut my hair whose work I was unfamiliar with. I tried a short wig on once and got so many compliments that I decided to get my hair cut in that style. I was so impatient, and wanted it cut so badly that I went to a salon while I was out of town for work. Everyone said this guy was the best with ethnic hair. After the cut, I cried and wore a wig for a few months just to cover the bad cut.
Putting permanant color on my hair. I thought it would'nt cause damage because I went darker instead of lighter. It was a store bought brand. My hair became brittle and I started seeing lots of hair on my bathroom floor.
Impatience
Letting someone cut my hair whose work I was unfamiliar with. I tried a short wig on once and got so many compliments that I decided to get my hair cut in that style. I was so impatient, and wanted it cut so badly that I went to a salon while I was out of town for work. Everyone said this guy was the best with ethnic hair. After the cut, I cried and wore a wig for a few months just to cover the bad cut.
january noir
Sunny On a Cloudy Day
- Wearing ponytail holders, period. = breakage
- Applying henna/indigo on dry hair = breakage
- Adding lemon juice or any other acid to henna mix = breakage
- Being of fine/thin strands, detangling under water in the shower = breakage/pre-mature shedding
darkangel25
New Member
Just what I came in to post. I have lost SO much hair only trying to wash and detangle weekly. Due to losing large amounts of hair, my ends have thinned out a bit and I have to do a little chop now. The longer I go in between washes, the more tangled my hair becomes. I'm shooting for twice a week now and maybe more if necessary.
cocoaluv
Well-Known Member
I'm not a Foki stalker at all but looking at your album is making me want to go natural ASAP!!!
My setback was listening to stylist who have messed up hair telling me that I need a trim every other week....nope not gonna happen just do my hair and let me be
lennet93
Well-Known Member
- Wearing ponytail holders, period.
- Applying henna/indigo on dry hair
- Adding lemon juice or any other acid to henna mix
- Being of fine/thin strands, detangling under water in the shower
This was my major set back...no matter what kind of ponytail holders I use or how loose I use them, I always get breakage.
LikeNoOther
Active Member
You wanted a hair cut?
No, but my hair was so matted and tangled, that when she finally detangled my hair, it thinned and looked really bad. I really didn't have another choice but to cut, if I wanted it to look decent
AshMoBev
New Member
Ohhh my gosh i know riiiight!!!!! I just DO NOT get why all hairstylists have to pressure their clients into getting trims!! I swear it must be some kind of oath they have to swear by when getting their license ??
LOL Sometimes I used to say, "Oh no thank you. I dont have money for a trim today...only to be suckered into it because her reply was "Oh don't worry about it...ill take care of it for you hun" DANG IT!!!! Only to leave the salon with a sad face, inches and inches gone and a call to my mommy saying, "They cuuut my haiirrrr!"
.....Which is why I do my own hair! And it looks just as good...even better actually!!
FunkyMunky
New Member
Tangles due to not washing and conditioning my hair in braids.
That's a big no, no!
A month or so ago I started to experience severe tangles and hair shredding. I stopped the shedding with more moisture. I tried washing in braids last night and it made a huge difference with the tangles. I lost minimal hair.
Luckily, I had this board to save me. I thought I was eventually going to have to cut it or start over.
That's a big no, no!
A month or so ago I started to experience severe tangles and hair shredding. I stopped the shedding with more moisture. I tried washing in braids last night and it made a huge difference with the tangles. I lost minimal hair.
Luckily, I had this board to save me. I thought I was eventually going to have to cut it or start over.
lilsparkle825
New Member
i know right! not only is she the one who told me to buy that one, but i shoulda known when she told me it was only $5 to put it in!Yep, my hair has been tramatized by Dark and Lovely color, and a stylist who PROMISED me she knew what she was doing.
Jetblackhair
Well-Known Member
I tried detangling my fine strands with conditioner in the shower and I lost so much hair a few months ago. My hair was noticeably thinner. erplexed
Now I only detangle once I get out of the shower with very minimal product in my hair.
erplexed Now I only detangle once I get out of the shower with very minimal product in my hair.
Lady Esquire
New Member
If you have weak edges, stay away from braids, weaves, and wigs that cause strain. If you must use these, only in moderation.
After I BC'd, I became scissor-happy. I kept cutting off perfectly good hair, mistaking dry hair for damaged. That set me back for a while when I was natural.
Low manipulation works. But not combing whatsoever, caused my new growth to tangle, mat, and break for about a year.
Using protein on a schedule, as opposed to when my hair needed it. I was sufferering from protein overload for a long time.
Daily/frequent washing was fine, but frequent wet bunning, caused so much thinning in my nape and sides. The weight of bunning wet hair was too strainful.
I learned that moderation was the name of the game, and I started to pay close attention to the signals. I also let most bandwagons pass by.
After I BC'd, I became scissor-happy. I kept cutting off perfectly good hair, mistaking dry hair for damaged. That set me back for a while when I was natural.
Low manipulation works. But not combing whatsoever, caused my new growth to tangle, mat, and break for about a year.
Using protein on a schedule, as opposed to when my hair needed it. I was sufferering from protein overload for a long time.
Daily/frequent washing was fine, but frequent wet bunning, caused so much thinning in my nape and sides. The weight of bunning wet hair was too strainful.
I learned that moderation was the name of the game, and I started to pay close attention to the signals. I also let most bandwagons pass by.
Last edited:
Fine 4s
Well-Known Member
Based on experience, my interaction with hairdressers is similar my relationships with a contractor, doctor or sales person. I listen to their suggestion or advice, reflect on it and only based on my research (which may include getting a second, third or fourth opinion) do I take the advice. There are tons of professionals who do not perform their jobs well and we trust them. I think learning to ask the RIGHT questions is key to sorting out BS. More than ever we can learn about hair care on our own. If we make use of that education, we could reduce the number of misguided pieces of information we believe/take or implement.
Now, if the hairdresser got you hemmed up with a gun to yo’ head and scissors in the other, MAYBE it's time for a trim
It's too easy to blame others for our misfortunes.
Now, if the hairdresser got you hemmed up with a gun to yo’ head and scissors in the other, MAYBE it's time for a trim
It's too easy to blame others for our misfortunes.
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