At a crossroads-- stay or go?

[liberationtheory]

Sheba you've added something else to consider!!! grrr, just when i thought i had made up my mind. I'm going to TRY and give it 6 months of regular blowouts and see where I go from there (though I did it all summer). I guess I could do some more research about texlaxing too.

I'm also going to go with a poster above's suggestion of getting some SAA. It might help with the breakage.

 

[sheba1]

Sheba you've added something else to consider!!! grrr, just when i thought i had made up my mind. I'm going to TRY and give it 6 months of regular blowouts and see where I go from there (though I did it all summer). I guess I could do some more research about texlaxing too.

No worries, my friend. Take your time. There is no rush, especially since you have an option that is working for you right now.

I'm also going to go with a poster above's suggestion of getting some SAA. It might help with the breakage.

http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?p=11261096

I love SAA's. The smell like stinky fish but they do wonders for breakage. I add them to my leave ins and my mascara (when I can remember).

 

[Mystic]

Cool..., I am glad you were able to make a decision. This board offers excellent advice when we are at a cross road with our hair. Good luck with everything~

You all have been so very helpful and have given me a lot to ponder. At this point, I'm thinking that I should give blow-outs/heat training more time before I jump into a relaxer. My hair does hold heat pretty well (when I don't do it myself) and it only reverts when I wash it. Also the expense is something I can't beat. Where I live, it's less than $20 for a basic wash, rollerset, flat-iron. That's much cheaper than the expense of having to relax and maintain relaxed hair. Plus it helps me retain moisture and prevent breakage more than other natural hair styles. I have a few years under my belt to be able to say that with confidence about my hair.

If in 6 months I decide the frequency is too much, then I'll reconsider. I didn't have the many perm issues that others that have spoken of and I know that my breakage came from very basic things-- I never tied my hair up, never moisturized my hair, combed through my hair all the wrong way, and the list goes on and on. The perm was never the problem; my hair care practices were.

Thanks again ladies. I'm not sure if I'll make it the full 3 months before making a decision so please keep the advice coming. I'm sure there are others in my boat that are considering the same thing.

 

[taz007]

I had the same thoughts as you two years ago. I was natural for 9 years and my hair never got past SL. I then decided to become a heat trained natural and it was a disaster! I did not know how to properly apply heat.

Now, after being relaxed for a little over two years, my hair is the healthiest and longest it has ever been in my entire life!

Take your time and just know that we at LHCF will be here for you!

 

[aymone]

In you case, even though the pictures are small I would say "stay natural". Now it seems that you are frustrated with the tangles, etc. So I would recommend that maybe you purchase a steamer if you don't already have one. Now I am not natural but I do strecthes and I can say that the steam makes the regrowth so much manageable. It doesn't bother me any more.

Also what kinds of combs are you using? I would recommend the combs from HAIRSENSE.COM, a bit pricey but they are worth it if you don't have them. At least get the big detangling one.

And maybe you should look for conditioners with more moisture. You may have to use the more expensive brands. I think that if you change a few things you will not be frustrated anymore. Because what will you do if you don't like your relaxed ends.

 

[Solitude]

I don't think relaxed hair necessarily equals less time-consuming. I have a busy life, too (law school, being a mom, and teaching part-time). I still spend a good amount of time on my relaxed hair & it's only APL-length. I still have to shampoo, deep condition, and either rollerset it, do a braidout, or blowdry and flat iron. I also co-wash during the week when I work out. Sometimes I wish my hair was natural so I could just do a wash 'n go. I think the biggest benefit or relaxed hair is not having to spend a lot of time detangling.

I think you should stay natural. Your hair is beautiful in your siggy and it's going to take a long time to get back to natural BSL-length hair if you don't like your hair after you relax. Just wear protective styles like buns during the week to save time.

 

[liberationtheory]

solitude, thanks for the perspective on how much time relaxed hair would cost me. i see what you mean that the only benefit would be the detangling time, which i truly don't spend a lot of time on (less than 15 minutes). detangling is only time intensive after i've done some stupid protective style. I did think that having a relaxed style would help me not have to do so many buns (which have proven bad for me in the long run) but I can use flat-ironing/blow outs to achieve the styles i do.

aymone, i think you're on to something with trying new products. one would think that after 15 years i would have my holy grail products but i dont!!!!

something i'm doing must be working b/c length isn't so much a factor but i'm not retaining anymore growth at this point. i've been at this length for about 2 years or so.

 

[lilsparkle825]

hey there

i am glad you got such wonderful advice. i have always learned that no matter what someone is going through with their hair, there is always someone on LHCF who has been through something similar, if not the exact same thing, and can offer advice and a perspective that may not have been previously discovered.

make sure to give us an update in a few months!

 

[LynnieB]

Hey lady, I "know" you LOL !!

Of course the decision is totally yours but would so hate to see you make a decision based on frustration. Your natural hair is gorgeous, it always was and I'm sure with the right care, your relaxed hair would be beautiful too.

 

[Louisex3]

Personally i'd stay naturally if i were you
i've never been relaxed before, and i was questioning whether i should do it, it just seems so much easier.
However, i see so many women on her transitioning and BC'ing, so i thought, what's the point of getting something that many other people don't seem to want? i might end up bc'ing a few years down the line so i may aswell just stick with my natural hair
If you see what i mean lol

 

[liberationtheory]

hey lady!! i "know" you too and i'm a secret stalker fan of your album. thanks for chiming in.

Hey lady, I "know" you LOL !!

Of course the decision is totally yours but would so hate to see you make a decision based on frustration. Your natural hair is gorgeous, it always was and I'm sure with the right care, your relaxed hair would be beautiful too.

 

[liberationtheory]

louisex3 you bring up another valid point. i never really transitioned.. wore braids for a month or so then did a BC. I think that if i were to relax and then decide to go natural, i would transition. i tried to transition my sister and it was HORR-REE-BLAY and i wouldnt want to do it myself. so again, thanks for that perspective.

 

[Eritreladiee]

You know my initial thought was to do a rock, paper, scissors/heads or tails ... lmao

Anywho, if I were you I'd stick to being natural. Learning a new head of hair is really time consuming, requires alot of experimenting with techniques, products. etc.

 

[newbeginnings2010]

I've read most of your thread, and I think that if you do decide to relax, you can cut down on the styling time by doing braidouts. Since I've learned to do really good braidouts, I find that I don't mind being relaxed because it's not as time consuming. It doesn't look young either. You just wash, DC, air-dry a bit, and braid it down. Wake up in the morning, undo braids, fluff, and go. I'm assuming you can't do this style as a natural because of the tangles? If you can do braid outs on your natural hair without tangles and breakage, then you could stay natural and use this quick styling option. If you have trouble with hold, rub a little Lotta Body in your hands and run them over the braids before you go to bed. Good luck!

 

[liberationtheory]

Again, thanks for all of the advice. It's helping me pinpoint exactly what my issue is and I'm seeing that it's the ever present black woman hair trio-- moisture, breakage, tangles-- and implicit in that TIME!

 

[Poohbear]

Stay natural! Just wear it heat straightened for awhile if you are fed up with natural styles. And I wouldn't worry about being able to wear a wash-n-go. I had to get over that myself as my hair got longer.

 

[NikStarrr]

Texlax. Best of both worlds for the most part. I speak from experience (though I'm a natural now) If you figure out your "formula" (processing time & how often) fairly quickly, it will be great. I say that, because when texlaxing, if you get different textures from the retouches, it can cause some breakage.

 

[liberationtheory]

Your hair is gorgeous and seems really similar to mine.

I'm still undecided but am experimenting with natural and straightened styles while building my regimen. You ladies are an awesome wealth of knowledge.

 

[lashunda22]

I think I'm where you are,,,I have only transitioned for a few months, but, I already know this isn't gonna be easy...I've already experienced excessive shedding (think because of the product craze). I've finally gotten twists. Going natural is freakin scary. I always think "Will I really find the right products/managing techniques for me?!" "Will I really take care of my hair?!" Will I just lose all my damm hair trying to go "natural?!"...too many questions, so little time! I'll say this though...the reason we both decided to go natural is because Perms was not what that is for us!!!! So, it's, like, obvious to go head and do the natural thang...tough it out and brainstorm on something new (hair do)...maybe you'll be the next SupaStah to create that new do! Stay Strong Girl, I'm wit'cha!

 

[FebeeSigns]

I think you should stay natural.

If you're not going to self relax, you have to FIND time and put in hours at a salon to do your perm touch ups, and this can be really bad if you don't plan on stretching.

If you get a relaxer you have to pay for that as well. + the hair products. Not every hair product that works for your natural hair is guaranteed to work for your straight hair, especially if it is water-based. Straightened hair with no relaxer will revert back with water.

If your hairline isnt doing so well in buns I suggest you ease up on any brushes or smoothing you may be doing and only put satin or on your edges to lay it down. If you experience any tangles or breaking you need to untangle your hair with your fingertips first and not with the comb. After you remove tangles using your own fingers, I suggest getting out any shed or broken hairs with a wide toothed comb. If you tangle on the regular then you need to prevent that by using styles that do not allow the hair to tangle, or DETANGLE more often.

 

[liberationtheory]

Thanks again for all the advice. I'm going to start a blog on here to keep track of my successes and failures. The advice here is invaluable!

Here's my lhcf blog where I'll be posting more regular updates.