Breaking all the rules (for him)

[Irresistible]

im eating crow ova here....i said ova and ova that if i met someone that i would still wear my hair in its natural state and still only do the occasional press like i always did...well consider my foot in my mouth right now.

cause i have met someone and been dating him for about two months now , he takes me out ALL THE TIME....and im keeping my hair pressed ALL THE TIME for the outings....whats up with that? im trippin lol....

i dont feel this guy wouldnt accept my natural hair (thats not it) he has seen my daughters hair natural and my hair looks just like hers and he does nothing but compliment both of our heads of hair....i guess i got this thing in me , that if im goin out i want my hair down. well that aint gonna work for my hair if i keep goin out with him and keep doin this i dont think i WILL have any more hair soon lol...and let me just be real ya'll i love it when he plays in my hair....and just like a cat i purrrrrr

but i know this has to stop and i cant be breakin all the rules with my hair.....

its so much easier being single , goin to bed with conditioner in your hair, smelling like olive oil and whatever other concoctions you wanna put on your hair lol.....i dont have no problem wearing my hair natural..but when i go out i just want it bangin and swangin...i guess i got some issues to work out huh?

 

[UmSumayyah]

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Irresistible said:
...i guess i got some issues to work out huh?

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Don't we all?

 

[renee_n_3000]

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Irresistible said:
its so much easier being single , goin to bed with conditioner in your hair, smelling like olive oil and whatever other concoctions you wanna put on your hair lol.....i dont have no problem wearing my hair natural..but when i go out i just want it bangin and swangin...i guess i got some issues to work out huh?

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I understand what you mean.

By the way, I saw your album and your hair is beautiful!

 

[sassygirl125]

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its so much easier being single , goin to bed with conditioner in your hair, smelling like olive oil and whatever other concoctions you wanna put on your hair lol.....

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It sure is.

I know it's silly, but when I see my 'friend", I do all kinds of weird things to keep him from seeing my hair ritual. I ditch the garlic shampoo, I get up at the crack of dawn so that my hair will be "styled" when he wakes up, etc. If I had to maintain a pressed style I would never sleep!

He thinks it's funny and even tries to "catch me".

He'll jerk the bathroom door open or rip the shower curtain back and say "Gotcha!".

One time he hid all my scarves.

 

[Irresistible]

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sassygirl125 said:
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its so much easier being single , goin to bed with conditioner in your hair, smelling like olive oil and whatever other concoctions you wanna put on your hair lol.....

[/ QUOTE ]

It sure is.

I know it's silly, but when I see my 'friend", I do all kinds of weird things to keep him from seeing my hair ritual. I ditch the garlic shampoo, I get up at the crack of dawn so that my hair will be "styled" when he wakes up, etc. If I had to maintain a pressed style I would never sleep!

He thinks it's funny and even tries to "catch me".

He'll jerk the bathroom door open or rip the shower curtain back and say "Gotcha!".

One time he hid all my scarves.

[/ QUOTE ]

lol thats cute...well he NOTICED the Shea butter thang goin on with my hair right away.....he was rollin

...well i gotta figure this thang out...the pony tail just aint appealing to me to go out with. and i will feel all unattractive COMPARED to when my hair is down....but i cant keep goin like this...its KILLIN me and my poor hair...and you are right its just too much work to stay pressed ...now im the one gettin pampered and spoiled, and now my hair is NOT lol...what to do? what to do??????

 

[Irresistible]

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renee_n_3000 said:

I understand what you mean.

By the way, I saw your album and your hair is beautiful!

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thank you Renee

 

[SweetNic_JA]

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its so much easier being single , goin to bed with conditioner in your hair, smelling like olive oil and whatever other concoctions you wanna put on your hair lol.....i dont have no problem wearing my hair natural..but when i go out i just want it bangin and swangin...i guess i got some issues to work out huh?


[/ QUOTE ]

Amen, I went to bed with a head full of rosemary oil and a silk scarf last night...couldn't do that w/ a bf around.

 

[honey_jammz82]

When my bf came back from Iraq for 2 weeks leave, I threw out my whole routine. I did not wrap my hair at night..cuz that aint sexy..lol, I curled my hair and flat-ironed it everyday, and to top it off I even glued in about 3 tracks to my hair for more length. My hair was a disaster by the time he left, I am not kiddin. You have beautiful hair, and it looks good in a ponytail..very sleek, I bet he would love it natural and kinda messy lookin, it might make him think of you in another light...hehehaha

 

[Brooke007]

I suspect that your hair “negligence” will wear off when the preliminary “infatuation” wears. Don’t worry you will come to your senses, before you look like this:

. Besides with 10 years of being natural and taking excellent care of your hair it ought to be able to stand a little “abuse” every now and then.

How about some elegant and sophisticated up dos?

Be proud of the diligence that you’ve had for a decade. Besides, to make YOU break the rules….he must be something special. Go head on wit you bad self and enjoy, your length and accomplishments with your hair. Swang it!


[ QUOTE ]
its so much easier being single , goin to bed with conditioner in your hair, smelling like olive oil and whatever other concoctions you wanna put on your hair lol.....i dont have no problem wearing my hair natural..but when i go out i just want it bangin and swangin...i guess i got some issues to work out huh?

[/ QUOTE ]

At this point in my regime with my massive efforts towards moisture that includes wearing a plastic cap to bed sometimes, the conditioners, the funk of concoctions and everything else I would be frightening to wake up to. Yep, I can truly say while I'm working on my hair goals, I’m glad I ain’t got no man

 

[debyjay]

I live with mine and he loves all things hair, even went to my bss and bought me a huge bag of all the stuff I use for Christmas. I mean a huge bag -- and on top of that he indivudally wrapped them! I have mango butter to last through the end of the year. Six jars ya'll. Sigh -- I love this guy.

 

[JenJen2721]

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debyjay said:
I live with mine and he loves all things hair, even went to my bss and bought me a huge bag of all the stuff I use for Christmas. I mean a huge bag -- and on top of that he indivudally wrapped them! I have mango butter to last through the end of the year. Six jars ya'll. Sigh -- I love this guy.

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Awww, how sweet. I want to tell my hubby to get me braids for Valentines Day.

 

[Irresistible]

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honey_jammz82 said:
When my bf came back from Iraq for 2 weeks leave, I threw out my whole routine. I did not wrap my hair at night..cuz that aint sexy..lol, I curled my hair and flat-ironed it everyday, and to top it off I even glued in about 3 tracks to my hair for more length. My hair was a disaster by the time he left, I am not kiddin. You have beautiful hair, and it looks good in a ponytail..very sleek, I bet he would love it natural and kinda messy lookin, it might make him think of you in another light...hehehaha

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lol im'a have to break him in , now that he got used the swangin flowin run your fingers through my pressed hair style...its gonna take some gettin used to the dont touch if you wanna live and not have tons of hair products on your hands natural pony tail

 

[Irresistible]

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Brooke007 said:
I suspect that your hair “negligence” will wear off when the preliminary “infatuation” wears. Don’t worry you will come to your senses, before you look like this:

. Besides with 10 years of being natural and taking excellent care of your hair it ought to be able to stand a little “abuse” every now and then.

How about some elegant and sophisticated up dos?

Be proud of the diligence that you’ve had for a decade. Besides, to make YOU break the rules….he must be something special. Go head on wit you bad self and enjoy, your length and accomplishments with your hair. Swang it!

[/ QUOTE ]
your right, i guess i need to give myself that kind of permission..geesh we work on our hair so long to do what with it? enjoy it...but why does enjoying it (and letting him enjoy it) mean damage??? ugh


[ QUOTE ]
its so much easier being single , goin to bed with conditioner in your hair, smelling like olive oil and whatever other concoctions you wanna put on your hair lol.....i dont have no problem wearing my hair natural..but when i go out i just want it bangin and swangin...i guess i got some issues to work out huh?

[/ QUOTE ]

[ QUOTE ]
At this point in my regime with my massive efforts towards moisture that includes wearing a plastic cap to bed sometimes, the conditioners, the funk of concoctions and everything else I would be frightening to wake up to. Yep, I can truly say while I'm working on my hair goals, I’m glad I ain’t got no man

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it definitely makes it easier. new man=bedtime regimin out the window

 

[Irresistible]

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debyjay said:
I live with mine and he loves all things hair, even went to my bss and bought me a huge bag of all the stuff I use for Christmas. I mean a huge bag -- and on top of that he indivudally wrapped them! I have mango butter to last through the end of the year. Six jars ya'll. Sigh -- I love this guy.

[/ QUOTE ]

lol thats sweet...rub it in why dont cha? lol nah thats cute...

i think he is on to me though , that i got some kinda hair obsession goin on....lol but he got me a new digitial camera just cause i mentioned wanting one for hair pics ...for the hair boards....uhhh he might be a keeper

 

[blue_flower]

I hate it when stuff like that happens. It makes me feel awkward.

 

[Dutchess]

I'm with you Debyjay, mine loves allthe things I do with my hair. He is so supportive and I don't think I could have been this successful with the growth of my hair without him. He was with me when I met Cathy Howse and he even asked her questions about hair care. I do understand what the other ladies are saying though (been there before). I would just let (him) know that I am on a mission for healthy, long, hair care. Since the majority of guys like long hair, he should be supportive of you.

 

[deeplyrooted]

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Irresistible said:
im eating crow ova here....but when i go out i just want it bangin and swangin...i guess i got some issues to work out huh?

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like another sistah said, we all have our issues to work out. i think it's just a matter of learning some different styles for your hair besides the ponytail that you mentioned.

i style my hair in two strand twists, braids, hair claws on one side, etc., and my "friend" enjoys it. he claims i look like a doll everytime i step out to meet him with a different natural hair style.

don't stress about him not accepting you, just strut out the door like you KNOW he wants this.

that's what i do; works every time.

 

[caress]

Do you wear your hair out loose and curly?

 

[Irresistible]

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deeplyrooted said:
[ QUOTE ]
Irresistible said:
im eating crow ova here....but when i go out i just want it bangin and swangin...i guess i got some issues to work out huh?

[/ QUOTE ]

like another sistah said, we all have our issues to work out. i think it's just a matter of learning some different styles for your hair besides the ponytail that you mentioned.

i style my hair in two strand twists, braids, hair claws on one side, etc., and my "friend" enjoys it. he claims i look like a doll everytime i step out to meet him with a different natural hair style.

don't stress about him not accepting you, just strut out the door like you KNOW he wants this.

that's what i do; works every time.

[/ QUOTE ]

i know it will work out ya'll , its more just me and not wanting to go out with the ponytail. but ive done it before and will do it again im sure, for the sake of my hair. its been fun though goin out and feelin like my hair is bangin and him fawnin ova me...but i really believe he will be the same no matter how my hair is, its more just how i feel. believe you me if i thought for one minute he was "shallow" like that...he would be X'ed with a quickness. ive been natural ten years and trust me y'all i done tried it all and the only other styles im comfortable with while my hair is natural is the pony tail or braids. just boring thats all...but i will work it.

...but i get the feeling i will be pressing more than two times a year now if i keep him around...ive done that already and the year just started lol...its just this breaking the rules thing thats got me trippin.

 

[Babygurl]

I just thank God for my man who doesnt care if I go to bed smelling like oilive oil or peppermint oil, or anything else I may put in my head.

 

[Irresistible]

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Dutchess said:
I'm with you Debyjay, mine loves allthe things I do with my hair. He is so supportive and I don't think I could have been this successful with the growth of my hair without him. He was with me when I met Cathy Howse and he even asked her questions about hair care. I do understand what the other ladies are saying though (been there before). I would just let (him) know that I am on a mission for healthy, long, hair care. Since the majority of guys like long hair, he should be supportive of you.

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ya'll this situation is real new....still workin out the kinks (no pun intended) and when your first goin out with a new guy you wanna look fly yanno...you guys are speaking from marriage or living together and long term relationships.....lawd i still have to see if this can even get totally serious (if that should happen) then i would of course expect all that....i mean im trippin cause in the past i wouldnt even go out at all at times cause i didnt know what to do with my hair..and didnt wanna go through the drama of pressing or wear the usual pony tail...so this is REAL different for me.....thats why im trippin. cause im breakin all these dang rules...and actually pressing it when i usually wouldnt. lol

 

[Irresistible]

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caress said:
Do you wear your hair out loose and curly?

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gurl nooooo cause i dont wanna look like a big poofball of hair , diana ross comes to mind lol...plus hair product everywhere..ewwwww

 

[Irresistible]

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Babygurl said:
I just thank God for my man who doesnt care if I go to bed smelling like oilive oil or peppermint oil, or anything else I may put in my head.

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a man that really loves you wont mind at all....its more a matter if i wanna feel /look sexy that night...not to mention smell it lol..its not always the man with the issue.....its us

 

[melodee]

Girl,
It is much easier to avoid being seen at your worst when you're single. Like you said, you don't have to worry about your man seeing your head wrapped up at night, or your face covered in facial masque. But you know what? Once you get used to having your man around it will be okay. I mean, my husband is my best friend and he has seen all, from me sick as a dog to birthing two babies. So then, the little things like smelling some olive oil in your hair ain't nothin but a thang.

Irisisible, you are "go-geous" and so is your hair, no matter what it's state. Once you get used to this fella, you should test him out. Wear your hair curly and let him see how you look natural. It may feel like you are "naked", exposing the unaltered you, but it will be liberating. I'll bet he'll love it. And then, even if you go on pressing you'll have the peace of mind that he won't be shocked to see what happens if y'all get caught in the rain!

 

[Irresistible]

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melodee said:
Girl,
It is much easier to avoid being seen at your worst when you're single. Like you said, you don't have to worry about your man seeing your head wrapped up at night, or your face covered in facial masque. But you know what? Once you get used to having your man around it will be okay. I mean, my husband is my best friend and he has seen all, from me sick as a dog to birthing two babies. So then, the little things like smelling some olive oil in your hair ain't nothin but a thang.

Irisisible, you are "go-geous" and so is your hair, no matter what it's state. Once you get used to this fella, you should test him out. Wear your hair curly and let him see how you look natural. It may feel like you are "naked", exposing the unaltered you, but it will be liberating. I'll bet he'll love it. And then, even if you go on pressing you'll have the peace of mind that he won't be shocked to see what happens if y'all get caught in the rain!

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Thank you Melodee...just from what you said i see you understand!! its strange and crazy i know that im even trippin off this and what you said makes perfect sense......but i been single for a long time and didnt really even date by choice for a long long time , so gurl this is real new to me and it is new territory....but your right...i just gotta do it. and be real, although i think he is used to the flowin blowin in the wind hair now....but he is gonna have to get unused to it now lol....damn that rain

 

[14got]

that twist updo you had looked classy, I liked the hat too. People can't see themselves as others do. You hair looks great either way and he will be proud to have you will him regardless of how you style it.

 

[jd_bdfly]

I think your side ponytail with the hat cocked to the side style is banging and would work forgoing out. Why not wear that one next time you go out?

 

[inthepink]

LOL...it IS easier being single and being able to do all those hair routines but I could leave that any day if I met the man of my dreams...

However, I think there are SO many cute ways to wear your hair naturally without using heat. Some suggestions are braidouts, buns with cute chopsticks, hair ornaments to dress up ponytails. Heck, just a long smooth ponytail is gorgeous to me! I think you may have gotten yourself into a rut with a pressing and you just need that one time where you don't do it...then I think things will change and you'll be ok with however you want to wear your hair. And I would tend to guess that as the relationship grows, you'll feel more comfy about sharing your little hair rituals!

(sorry if some of this was repeated but I didn't read everyone else's post first!)

 

[Irresistible]

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Kei said:
that twist updo you had looked classy, I liked the hat too. People can't see themselves as others do. You hair looks great either way and he will be proud to have you will him regardless of how you style it.

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Kei that look didnt last long at all....the poofy roots once it dried made it look messy...i guess i still gotta learn how to rock that style and get it right

 

[Irresistible]

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jd_bdfly said:
I think your side ponytail with the hat cocked to the side style is banging and would work forgoing out. Why not wear that one next time you go out?

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yeah that particular hat came with an outfit and its pink...but your right, i think it would be a good idea to go find a few more of them in other colors to have more options.... just have to figure out where to find em