Did your HHJ start with a bad stylist?

[Monaleezza]

Nope! Mine started with a great stylist. A good weave, when I took my hair out and saw the growth it inspired me to go again! Lol And again! And again! And again!

 

[rawsilk]

My very first relaxer was done by a stylist of "another" persuasion at an upscale salon at Neiman Marcus. (Recommendation was from friends of the family - mother and three daughters with gorgeous hair - who was entirely too label/name conscious.) Anyway, not knowing anything about underprocessing (no one in my family had ever had a relaxer), my Mom instinctively put oils in my hair and scalp to protect it the night before the big relaxer day. Well. Mr. Stylistman, upon seeing my hair, said in some faux Euro ancient "OMG, what a mezz, the chemicals will not take with all of theze in your hurrr." He then proceeded to shampoo, scrub and wash my hair and THEN APPLIED THE LYE-BASED RELAXER TO MY WET HAIR!!!!!!!!!!! I didn't know any better and I was there by myself in a salon full of "other" people. (Note to Moms: always watch stylist like a hawk when they are doing to your daughter's hair!) I had third degree burns through-out my scalp which were freakin ozing. Went to the dermatologist who gave us a prescription for burns that seemed to make it worse. I am convinced that it was our next door neighbor from Alabama who came over with her half full can of Crisco and applied it to my scalp who saved me from being bald and traumatized at age 13. (My scalp healed and hair never fell out. It took two years but, when I finally got up the courage to touch-up my new growth, I went back to the lady who had been doing my press&curls when I was a little girl. She messed up too about 7 years later when she skipped a step in the neutralizing process of the original optimum relaxer.)

I recite the above for anyone who has happened upon this thread thinking that a stylist has ruined their hair for life -- never give up hope, there is always someone who will know what to do. Now that you've found LHCF, your circle of wisdom and experience is almost limitless.

Oooo, another stylist mishap: I left a weave in for too long in 2006 and hair got matted beyond combing. A stylist in her infinite wisdom told me that all I could do was cut off my hair. Like an idiot, I listened and cut off about 14" of transitioning healthy-@$$ relaxed/natural hair. (I fume just thinking about it and the effort I made to rock a near-buzz cut that looked ridiculous.) The worst part is that that was after I learned about LHCF; now, had I been more diligent about searching the board, I would have easily discovered the product that people use to unlock dreadlocks (forgot the name.)

Anyway, the moral of the story is, no matter what damage a stylist has done, someone is going to know how to un-do it. (Second moral? No one knows your hair better than you and no one is going to know how to care for and spend time on your hair better than you can -- if you have the proper tools, knowledge, etc.)

I think that I had ONE stylist in DC who really understood my hair and knew how to cut it and treat it with chemicals so that it was still healthy, shiny, bouncy, etc. I have moved several times since then and he doesn't do hair anymore (otherwise I would probably get on a plane for haircare -- this guy was the truth). One out of at least 10 stylists in ## years? I don't like those averages. I am now happily self-texlax, self-cut, self-all hair care. (I had even started doing my own weaves after the buzz-cut incident).

Final thought: I never had too too much hair cut off (without knowing it) because I never allowed anyone to turn me away from the mirror without having a hand-held in my hand. (What?! No.) And yes, on more than one occasion, I have been known to grab a wrist or my hair and politely reiterate that the stylist was cutting too much. All that effort to grow it and in seconds, an over eager stylist with a hearing problem is going to just un-do it? Heck no!

 

[rawsilk]

Yes, Ethiopian stylist really do understand our hair -- some of them go overboard with the heat, like Dominican salons, but they seem to actually care for the health of the hair AND scalp more than other stylist. I now incorporate some of their techniques (e.g., pre-pooing with ghee, conditioning with yogurt/henna mix, etc.) in my self-care regime.

i went through some bs to find me a good stylist though! my hair has been through a lot of sh*t lol. from bleaching to extension beads to unnecessary cuts to salon heat damage to paying someone to literally rip the hair off my head to me bein in a hurry and straightening my damp hair with no protectant ah haha

I was referred to an Ethiopian lady by another stylist who couldn't do cornrows(i wanted a weave). This lady is magical and she glorifies healthy hair more than any of the other ratchet stylists i've been to.

 

[melahnee]

Yes, Ethiopian stylist really do understand our hair -- some of them go overboard with the heat, like Dominican salons, but they seem to actually care for the health of the hair AND scalp more than other stylist. I now incorporate some of their techniques (e.g., pre-pooing with ghee, conditioning with yogurt/henna mix, etc.) in my self-care regime.

yess! I trust this girl with my hair so much. I could just walk in and tell her girl...I don't know what I need atm, but I need somethin' whether it's a deep cond., protein treatment. She already knows how I feel about heat and trims lol. Her methods never fail me and her weave installments are superb.

 

[spellinto]

I wouldn't say she was a "bad" stylist, but she wasn't the best stylist for my hair type and needs. A huge reason why I started my journey was because I was dependant on a Dominican stylist, and while she always made my hair smooth, straight, and bouncy, she left my relaxers on too long, fought with me if I made requests (one time I asked her to use heat protectant and that turned into an argument...it was embarrassing, and that was the last time I ever used her services), and was more concerned about style than health. I would ask her how to maintain my hair (because it would feel dry and brittle a week or two afterwards), and she would basically discourage me from doing anything until I could see her again. So while she was really talented at what she did and didn't necessarily "ruin" my hair, she was also very limited in knowledge about my hair type and prompted me to start taking care of my hair on my own & find a better stylist.

 

[Holla]

My former consistent (went weekly) stylist wasn't bad. She was actually quite good. She was dominican. She encouraged me to use a DC with every wash, used a good leave-in every time, and used direct heat on my roots only when I needed a relaxer - which she encouraged me to stretch and trimmed rarely.

What did it for me was her attitude. I travelled almost one hour each way to get my hair done by her. I was always a walk-in but I didn't appreciate the growing "attitude" at that salon. They acted like they did customers a favor instead of a service. They treated new customers better than long time customers! I noticed over time too that less and less people would go to the salon such that Saturdays used to be very busy and suddenly was not very. I decided it was easier to learn how to take care of my own hair, especially after finding LHCF.

 

[PinkSunshine77]

no, it started with Sunshyne, Hairlista and the realization that I used way too much heat for years and years.

 

[sparkle25]

I never really have been a girl that had many perms throughout my life. I had maybe two or 3 as a child and then one when I was about 16. Then when I was 22, about 8 years ago, a kitchen hair stylist permed my virgin hair with a super perm and then glued tracks on right after. That was the first time i ever had tracks glued in. When I tried to take the tracks out my hair came out with them as well as pieces of my scalp. After that I wore no more braids or tracks. I wore quick weaves and wigs for about 3 years. I tried to take good care of my hair but I still didnt know what I was doing. Then 5 years ago, almost 6, I learned about this forum and later joined and the rest is history.

I voted other.

 

[Ravenhairedbeauty]

Mine started because of me. I bleached my hair and then 3 weeks later I relaxed it. Big no no.A patch in the middle of my hair broke off to down to an inch. I felt like I had no choice but to go natural.

 

[Prettymetty]

My journey started with my first pregnany. I was afraid to relax so I learned to stretch and protective style. I also experimented with natural products

 

[jessicarabbit]

My current hhj yes. My 1st bc was by choice.
Never letting anyone touch my hair again with scissors or chemicals.

 

[Cherokee-n-Black]

I live in NYC, where women primarily rock braids and weaves. Women who don't tend to flock Dominican Damage factories for reasons I just cannot understand. It took me a long time to find an amazing stylist, who did my hair for three years then suffered a stroke that left his right hand unusable. I vowed not to let anyone else touch my head until he recovered. But sadly, he never did. The funny part is, when he told me the terrible news, I was very sorry to hear. But then I said "But…what are we going to do about my haaairrr???" And he--completely not offended at all said "I know!!! This is just terrible!" LOL I loved him. OK back to my story. So he recommended a stylist in the same salon, who I must admit does beautiful work--cutting hair. However, the day I went she had a new shampoo girl rinse out my relaxer. Oh…my…that was unpleasant. She neutralized me with shampoo seven times! This was the first time in 10 years I'd had a perm burn, and that ain't cool! THEN on top of that the stylist cut about 4 inches off of my BSL tresses. I was tres upset! Now, I'll be honest, my hair looked AMAZING. But I remember coming on here and announcing that I was 2 weeks post relaxer and transitioning! I hesitated, but I've never looked back. #natchal4lyfe!