Family member obsessed with my protective styling...

[ZapMami]

I am sooo frustrated right now. I am natural. Been natural for a long time. Chopped off my hair several times and started over cause I could not figure out what works for my hair. I wore twist and braids with my own hair for a long time and it did not help me retain any length.

So I chopped again..and I figured something out after getting a weave or two that my hair just did better when I left it alone under a wig or weave. So I've been doing the Lady P Deep Moisture thing for a few months now. I've been wigging it up. Because I pay $40 to get my hair conrowed really small, I try to leave it in for as long as I can..4-5 weeks and do it all over again. My hair is about apl.

So I have a family member who is also natural who says every time I see her..two or three times a week. "why don't you take that dayum wig off your head, Why don't you wear your own hair? Why do you need fake hair all the time? I feel sorry for you cause you don't like your own hair. You used to have waist length hair...what happened??" or some variation of this. I repeatedly tell her...Don't worry about my hair, it's a personal choice. I wore my hair out for 4 years in twist and quite honestly I like the wigs cause it's something different. I'm tired of this B thinking she's better than me just cause she wears her two strand twist.

I am sick of her and her comments and I want them to stop. I remove my wig when I get home everyday and I have my routine to care for it. It's not like I'm neglecting my hair. Since starting the deep moisture method I really see a difference in my hair. I just wish she would leave me the hell alone about my hair.

 

[Burbujas]

I am sooo frustrated right now. I am natural. Been natural for a long time. Chopped off my hair several times and started over cause I could not figure out what works for my hair. I wore twist and braids with my own hair for a long time and it did not help me retain any length.

So I chopped again..and I figured something out after getting a weave or two that my hair just did better when I left it alone under a wig or weave. So I've been doing the Lady P Deep Moisture thing for a few months now. I've been wigging it up. Because I pay $40 to get my hair conrowed really small, I try to leave it in for as long as I can..4-5 weeks and do it all over again. My hair is about apl.

So I have a family member who is also natural who says every time I see her..two or three times a week. "why don't you take that dayum wig off your head, Why don't you wear your own hair? Why do you need fake hair all the time? I feel sorry for you cause you don't like your own hair. You used to have waist length hair...what happened??" or some variation of this. I repeatedly tell her...Don't worry about my hair, it's a personal choice. I wore my hair out for 4 years in twist and quite honestly I like the wigs cause it's something different. I'm tired of this B thinking she's better than me just cause she wears her two strand twist.

I am sick of her and her comments and I want them to stop. I remove my wig when I get home everyday and I have my routine to care for it. It's not like I'm neglecting my hair. Since starting the deep moisture method I really see a difference in my hair. I just wish she would leave me the hell alone about my hair.

Why don't you just tell her this?

 

[Je Ne Sais Quoi]

I would tell her that as a fellow natural i'm sure she knows how annoying it is for folx to assume they know whats best for her hair and bother her about it. Let her know that in no uncertain terms you know what is best for your hair and you don't care to discuss it anymore. Tell her you are "doing you" and she should "do her". Once this is said anytime she strikes up yet another venting session I'd give her a blank stare, then just walk away.

 

[DrC]

Tell her to worry about her own damn hair.

 

[ZapMami]

I have told her countless times in different ways not to worry about my hair...and that I do not want to hear her comments, have cursed at her on several different occasions.....Nothing stops her. The only way for me to stop it is to actually get in my car and leave...which I have done several times, and yet she still doesn't get it. I guess I just need to cut her off. I kind of feel like she needs to see my real hair at all times so she can compare it to hers.. like we are in a f'n natural hair competition or something. It kills her that she doesn't know how long my hair is now or something.

 

[SmilingElephant]

The day you decide to wear it out in all it's glory whether it's stretched out or straightened and it is longer than hers...you should just beat her with it!!!


Where is that silent Library gif...i wanna show you how to do it!

 

[Wanderland]

Everytime she brings up the conversation stop mod sentence and leave (maybe just the conversation) and go to another area. Through negative reinforcement shell get the point and stop.


Sent from my iPhone using LHCF

 

[virtuenow]

On the other side, the close family members who do that seem to have good intentions. Like my mother hates wigs and says that young women shouldn't wear them; and they age you 10 years. Some familys are brutally honest. I just (1) ignore if I don't want to hear; or (2) say thanks and move on; or (3) explain to them the method why I'm doing this and that I am not crazy , I love my hair too.

 

[empressri]

See when folks get like that you gotta either just ignore them or come up with different answers.

Like I have a cousin...bless him, everytime he speaks to me he asks me the same sh*t, prying into my bidniss.

The last time he asked me what I was doing with myself I told him selling p***y and slanging crack.

He just laughed, told me to be careful and at least I'm getting money cause he can't give his away anymore...but he stopped asking me the same questions whenever w espoke!

 

[JazzyOleBabe]

Empressiri
Noooo.... not selling and slanging. lmfao. You go girl. LOL

 

[nzeee]

See when folks get like that you gotta either just ignore them or come up with different answers.

Like I have a cousin...bless him, everytime he speaks to me he asks me the same sh*t, prying into my bidniss.

The last time he asked me what I was doing with myself I told him selling p***y and slanging crack.

He just laughed, told me to be careful and at least I'm getting money cause he can't give his away anymore...but he stopped asking me the same questions whenever w espoke!

lol lol lol!!
you think that would work w/ my grandmother?

 

[empressri]

JazzyOleBabe I sure did!!!

nzeee It can work for ANYONE. One of my mother's nosy friends was over while I was getting the mail and I had a box come for me (hair stuff no doubt) and she's all like oh what's that? I told this nosy old broad sex toys, and kept walking.

You gotta be snappy! Folks leave you alone after awhile.

 

[nzeee]

JazzyOleBabe I sure did!!!

nzeee It can work for ANYONE. One of my mother's nosy friends was over while I was getting the mail and I had a box come for me (hair stuff no doubt) and she's all like oh what's that? I told this nosy old broad sex toys, and kept walking.

You gotta be snappy! Folks leave you alone after awhile.

hahahaha, you're too much

 

[empressri]

hahahaha, you're too much

I believe if you're old enough to ask questions or make rude personal remarks then you are old enough to take back whatever it thrown at you.
Unless you are truly that older and dotty and off your rocker....then I just smile and walk away.

 

[JazzyOleBabe]

empressri

Girl stop it. You are too funny. Thanks for the laughs. I know that you mean about nosy people in your business. LOL Your response is classic. (NOTE to self. Try to remember some of ish).

 

[discodumpling]

I would smile and keep it moving...you can't choose your family...they are what they are. I have a cousin who asks me everytime she sees me...." so you're NEVER gonna perm it again??" "not even a texturizer??" She's been asking me for 5 yrs now...I don't even think she notices I stopped answering her 'bout 3 yrs ago....

 

[bb09]

bumping....

 

[WhippedButterCreme]

Have this same issue with an uncle, who thinks his hand can go straight into my hair for a weave check and he has a problem with 'fake hair' too

Wearing a weave and claiming it as your hair is different than wearing a weave to grow out your hair.

I'm still getting over this problem myself!