Find a new church home?

[Tallone]

I have really been struggling with this issue. A couple of years ago I became a member of a church here where I live. I loved it. I was getting fed (spiritually), I felt my relationship with God was phenomenal, things were really good in my life and I was happy. Until I found of some of the dealings. A family member who is well known to be on the shady side, was telling me that she wanted to start going. Her reasons was that a friend of hers who was in and out of jail, is getting "hooked up" there. It seems that her friend's sister was having an affair with a very married deacon. My family member's friend, took this information and told the deacon that if he didnt give her money for her lawyer she was going to tell all. He did. He took it from our offerings.
I was just blown away, stopped going all together and never found a new home. I have known all along that I needed to be guided, this was the first place that I really loved. I also know that I should not put my faith in man but the word of God. Should I find a new church home or go where I was comfortable and just focus on the word?

 

[janiebaby]

I'm sorry you had this experience. If I were you, I'd be discouraged as well. Did anyone tell the pastor? If so, did his reaction turn you off? If no one told the pastor then I don't think that there was any reason why you should stop going and get fed off the Word.

If, the pastor responded in a way that you don't think is right. I do think that maybe you should visit other churches and also get recommendations from people.

HTH

 

[Tallone]

Thanks Janiebaby,
I did not tell the pastor and I should have. I was just so turned off at that point and I looked at that as the church's deed not this one man's. And also I didnt want the drama of who told you and it coming back to me and all that. Being older, hindsight tells me I should have discussed it with him

 

[janiebaby]

Thanks Janiebaby,
I did not tell the pastor and I should have. I was just so turned off at that point and I looked at that as the church's deed not this one man's. And also I didnt want the drama of who told you and it coming back to me and all that. Being older, hindsight tells me I should have discussed it with him

At least you know now. Don't let someone else's mistake hurt you and your spiritual growth.

Pray about and listen to where God leads you. I wish I had sooner...

 

[mrsmeredith]

At least you know now. Don't let someone else's mistake hurt you and your spiritual growth.

Pray about and listen to where God leads you. I wish I had sooner...

I couldn't agree more. The church itself didn't hurt you, the deacon did. Please speak with your pastor about the problem and make your decision based on his response. Also, obey the spirit of the Lord, did you goto GOD about the situation? Don't punish the yourself by one mans deeds. Its hurting you, not him by you not going to church. He is still having his fun.

 

[Tallone]

Thats true. I just feel disgusted that he is leading people when he is trifling. What can his example show me besides what NOT to do?

 

[mrsmeredith]

Thats too as well, but the biggest testimony to you and others is how the pastor responds. That will bless you more than how the deacon hurt you. Also, remember we all make mistakes, even deacons, pastors, bishops and so forth.

 

[Tallone]

I think that ship has sailed as far as me discussing it with my pastor. it has been 3 or 4 yrs and i dont even remember the deacons name. I have been hopping around from churches so that my children can get something.

 

[PaperClip]

My pastor says we all (including him) gain information by observation (seeing it), communication (being told about it) and revelation (the Lord illuminates it).

It's a bit disturbing to read that whatever incident put you on edge about this church occured 3-4 years ago. That's not to say that it hasn't bothered you all that time and you did not know how to deal with it....

Have you prayed to the Lord about this matter? What is the Lord saying to you about the church where you should be? Have you felt a GODLY leading to go somewhere else?

Even though time has passed, I think you should go back to that pastor and share your concerns with him, at least to get it off of your chest because it seems that there is an "ought" there.... Maybe the pastor knew about the situation and he had to take measures as the Lord has led him to do, and maybe that wasn't on your timeline, if you will.

It's not fair on a spiritual or natural level to condemn a pastor or church at all... and it's certainly not fair to up and leave a church without talking to the pastor, who is responsible for your soul if you have committed yourself to the membership there.

It's time to get stable spiritually for yourself and your children. Church-hopping isn't healthy.... I know you say you are doing this so your children can get "something".... That's like feeding them junk food because it's better than NO FOOD.

All is not lost. The Lord can turn bad things around for good. Go back and get things right with that pastor, even if you just write him a letter explaining things as you saw them and that you didn't feel comfortable remaining there while that was going on.... There is no perfect church...and if the Word of God is going forth with power and anointing and you feel the Holy Spirit in the place and your family is getting stronger spiritually, that's what most important at any church.

 

[Tallone]

It had never occured to me that the pastor knew about what was going on and was dealing with it. Something to think about.
Writing a letter is definitely something I feel more comfortable in doing especially with all the time that has passed. Incidentally, I moved out of state for a couple years in the midst of that 3-4 yr span.
I believe i will give it another shot and thanks for the invite Janie, i would still love to visit!

 

[Tallone]

I did go to the early service today. I was glad I did. Its such a large church, I didnt recognize many faces. The word was good, as always