HELP: On the Fence Newbie!

[firewoman213]

Hello, I’m a newbie and I am on the fence about whether or not I should go natural . It has been 7 months since I’ve had a relaxer. Since coming on the forum I have been giving serious thought to going natural and 5 second later I’ll say I’m just grow my hair back healthy and relaxed. I am used having decent length (APL or longer) and hate the fact that if I go natural it’s like I’m starting from scratch and feel like it will take me forever to grow it long (APL unstretched) in its natural state. But like I said coming on here has been making me want to try natural.

What’s holding me back from becoming a natural, aside from the fact that I would have to start over is, I don’t have a clue as to how my natural hair is, except for that fact that it’s soft, fine , and I think 4a/b. Plus I don’t have a clue what I would with my natural hair (styles). I’m not the wash and go type and I don’t want to wear braided styles & end up looking like I’m back in middle school. I won’t be adding any fake hair to make my braids longer, especially synthetic because thats why my relaxed hair is so damaged now. *sigh*

Right now since I couldn’t make up my mind I said that I would just stay in the transitioning phase until the end of this year. I am trying to hold on to my relaxed ends just in case I want to go back to relaxing and still keep my length. The problem is with SO MUCH new growth it's SO HARD. Today I kept seeing LOOOOOOONG strands of my hair (aka length) coming out when my mom combed to detangle it after I washed it. Plus all the little chippies (damage/breakage) that comes off when I touch it. I know that regardless of what I do, I will have to trim the damage part off. But I know good and well that long strands 6”or more shouldn’t be coming off. It’s breaking off at the demarcation (sp?) point and I ain’t trying to have that. The two textures are at war and so far the NG is winning. I am dispread to save them both since I’m on the fence don’t know what I’m going to do yet. So what I want to know from you guys is……….
if it’s possible to save them both for a year? And When you are stretching your relaxer, does some of your long strands of hair come off as a casualty of war?
My solution was to braid my hair and wash the braids so I wouldn’t have to detangle, equaling less manipulation. Any other suggestion are much appreciated.

 

[Menina Preta]

Do the long strands have a white bulb at the top? If so, it's shed hair, so don't worry about those. Perhaps you should get an afro-textured weave to see how you like "natural" hair styling, etc.

 

[tiffers]

Welcome to LHCF!

IMO, if you're questioning and having doubts, you're not ready. Sometimes I think about transitioning or just bc'ing, but I know dang well I'm not ready, so I'm not even gonna entertain myself!

I was talking to a natural the other day who said that bc'ing does a lot to the psyche, it's kind of traumatic. And if you're not ready to handle it, you'll really regret your decision

If you want to continue with your transition/stretch, you have to up your deep conditioning and co washing to keep the line of demarcation moisturized. It also helps to have an ultra moisturizing spray, so you can spray it directly onto the ng.

What's your current reggie?

 

[chocolatethai]

i agree with tiffers if you are still in doubt wait a little longer and then see how you fell, i myself have deceided to go natural about four times ....and i just had a touch up on thursday, also you dont have to do the bc to transition to natural some ladies have gone natural by just continueing to grow their hair and trimming gradually untill all the relaxed hair is gone

 

[1god1]

I would at least give it a try. You don't have to cut your hair to go natural/transition. It may take a lot longer, but you can retain your legnth. This is what I am doing...I have been transitioning for almost 2yrs. It's been rough a few times, but I now love wearing twists and box braids. I keep these styles as I coWash every 2 to 3 days. I think I am around 90% natural. I also think....what in the world took me soooo long.

I remember when I first started to transition..I realized how thick my natural has was and just really got encouraged from seeing growth. You just have to experiment and do what works for you...but just be patient. If you decide to transition, give yourself time to adjust.

 

[*closer*2*my*dreams*]

I agree with them as well. Right now I am too transitioning, but I am starting to doubt myself and my hair. It has been almost 5 months since my last relaxer. I think my hair is doing great! I love my new growth and the curl pattern, but I have naysayers & haters doubting me and telling me that my mind is "warped" and i will always have "negro"hair.

So it's a catch 22. If you BC, you will have some trouble adjusting. If you continue to transitioning, you will receive some negative feedback, and you will be at war with your hair for a while.

Either way, you're going to experience something negatively. You just have to do what's best for you.

 

[firewoman213]

Do the long strands have a white bulb at the top? If so, it's shed hair, so don't worry about those. Perhaps you should get an afro-textured weave to see how you like "natural" hair styling, etc.

Nope I always look for the bulbs and 90% of the time there isn't one. Plus I see in a few different spots that the hair isn't as thick as the rest of the hair strand when I hold it up to the light. So I pull at it and snap, crackle, and pop it go's.

@ tiffers my reggie is this
Tue and thurs: I co-wash with organix coconut milk cond. I put org. CM anti breakage serum and split end mender on and then seal with coconut oil. I will either braid it or just put it up in a ball to dry.
Sat: I shampoo then put the cond on and leave it on for about 30mins or a little more (no heat). I rinse the cond out and put the Organix CM products on seal with C. Oil and rollset and air dry. My relaxed hair most of the time feels dry. I thought I had stop most of the breaking this past friday but after I washed it saturday and took my rollers out sunday any time I pull on it slightly long bulb-less strands come out.

For my mental health BCing is out of the question.

 

[conskeeted]

This is so crazy - I read your story and I was in the EXACT same place you were in when I signed on to LHCF (about 4 months ago). I've just started regularly visiting and trying to learn all that i can to get this going. Right now, I'm transitioning - my last relaxer was in December 07 and the same exact thing happened - all my relaxed hair basically broke off... I started using some cinnamon products that I got at the BSS to slow the breakage down, but at this point all the hair on my head is natural.

I've decided today I'm going to attempt to go all the way natural - and i suppose if I really don't like it or it doesn't vibe with me much - I'll relax it. I'll have a great head of healthy hair to start with.

I just wrote to let you know that you're not by yourself. AT ALL. I'm >>>>HERE<<<< with you. I'm hiding my transition under a wig right now, but this will be my last month doing that. I'm going to a well renowned natural hair salon over the weekend for a consultation and a serious trim of anything that might be blocking my hair's blessing and I'll take it from there!


Good Luck!!!

 

[firewoman213]

wow, thanks for replying. If you don't mind me asking how long is your natural hair?

 

[conskeeted]

Right now, my natural hair is about ear lenght and shoulder length stretched out. I just started my Fotki here: http://public.fotki.com/conskeeted/ (pw: sweetpea) So you can get a look

 

[LadyKaypnyc]

Are you combing Dry New growth? That could be the problem, I transitioned for 8 months (I was going for a year) but I didn't take proper care of the new growth due to lack of knowledge, so my relaxed ends were just breaking off. I didn't mind b/c I had no desire to relax, but if you do, DON'T COMB DRY NEW GROWTH. Instead, only detangle on hair loaded with conditioner. The style on damp hair.

Whenever you want to style or brush your NG, wet your brush, or spray it with a little detangler or water, then style, that will help you deal with the NG without losing your relaxed ends. Also, try protective styles, like buns, flexi rod curls, finger coils, braids, twists.

Rollersetting and the occasional flat ironing won't hurt either. Hope that helps