CoilyFields
Well-Known Member
Hey ladies,
I messed up yesterday and Im feeling really heavy about it.
Kinda long Background story:
I am a team leader at my job. (this gives me some auhtoritative duties over my other teamates but not a direct supervisor).
Back in December I got an email saying I had a training on Friday. Well I already had appointments set all day at the homes of my clients. I went to confer with my teamates in one ladies office (Lets call her T). We found out all of us had training and we called our supervisor on T's phone and put her on speaker phone. I explained that I couldnt do both and could I skip training. She checked and said no but that T did not have training so told T to do the appointments for me. (We have often done apponitments for each other but usually not 7 in one day-which is what I had).
So friday comes and I get the list of my appointments and T's appointments and mapquests them in order. Set my stack of files in order (put notes on them on what I needed T to do for each client) and gave the stack to her before I went in to training. A few minutes later I get a call from the front desk saying T left and she didnt have my files. I pass T's office and see my stack of files, grab them then run to the front thinking she forgot them. She's already in the car so I call her cell from the front desk. She tells me that she is not doing my appointments. We go back and forth for a second then she hangs up. I go back to training steaming mad! One of the team leaders from a different site asks me if she took my files. I told her no, she said she wouldnt.
At break, the other team leader came and told me that she told our supervisor because that was wrong of T and she knew I probebely wouldnt have said anything. So me and my supervisor talk and I tell her what happens. Long story short T gets in trouble when she comes back...straight told the supervisor that I needed to do my own stuff! (Mind you I am REGULARLY covering for T, fixing her stuff, handling her irate clients, doing her appointments-waaaaaaaaaaaaay more than I have to do for the others). DId I mention that T had to go to all of the houses of my clients anyways cause she was driving the company vehicle but refused to go in and do my portion of the visit? So I admit I was hurt by her attitude because it seemed to come outta nowhere. So Im pissed but on monday I come back to work no longer angry ready to move on. Well T is not speaking to me at all. Im a bit confused since I was the wronged party but I figure she'll get over it. She doesn't. So on day two of T not speaking to me I go to her office and ask her if I've done anything to offend her? She says nothings wrong. I say obviously there is...she starts to talk about how Im not her supervisor and some people think they are all of that. So I ask her if she has a problem with me being team leader and why (She was here before me) and she just says I basically need to stay in my place. So I conclude it by outlining my duties as concerns the team and that if at any time she feels I am overstepping my bounds then to let me know.
Two days later she is sent home for 3 months (not going into that part but had nothing to do with me)
When she comes back she still refuses to speak to me. So I go to her again and say I sense tension, whats the problem. She tells me as long as we just keep it business then theres no problem. I let it go and say ok. So I keep acting the same to her (saying goodmorning, no attitude etc.) but she gets to the point where she will refuse to even answer me half the time. Its just petty stuff so I have not felt the need to involve our supervisor.
OK! Finally...heres where I messed up:
Yesterday my DH brought our daughter up to my job in the pm. We were all standing in the front chatting. T walks through the front and she and DH start to chat. As she was leaving I told him not the talk to her. She probebely heard me but at the time I didnt care. The 2 staff that were up there told me not to be like that, DH told me that my issue is between me and her. But I beligerantly held my stance saying no, if she wants me to stay out of her circle/business to the point where she cant even say goodmorning when I speak to her then she needs to stay outta your face. She set the boundaries not me. (this was really outta the norm because I dont expect any of my other coworkers/friends at work to not be friends with her)
Ok so I know I was wrong
. In the car I felt so bad I had to pray right then. So I repented and realized I need to fix what I did. So I called back to work and told each of the 2 staff that they were right and thanks for correcting me. I txt DH and told him the same. I txt T and told her I was wrong in how I reacted and I am sorry. No response from her, as expected. So this morning she comes in same attitude. I feel a little compelled to make sure she got my txt and apologize in person. I go to her office and ask if she got it. She told me to lose her number and keep it business. Then talked about how Im quick to go in a church but aint no different then no one else etc. She was just being cordial etc. At the time I didnt say anything but ok. But when I got back to my office I still felt unsettled and guilty.
I know that the enemy wants me to stay feeling guilty-and I do! Cause I should have handled that better. And I kinda feel like I have given her a justifiable reason to continue to disregard me. I know there is nothing else that I can do...is there? I already prayed for her. Im not trying to be her friend again (we were all really close) just work stuff.
I dunno. I felt really really chestized yesterday and now I feel that way again. I could truly say that I was blameless before when she was ignoring me...but now...not so much. Im not sure what Im asking for...advice...encouragement...correction...prayer? JUST HELP!!
I messed up yesterday and Im feeling really heavy about it.
Kinda long Background story:
I am a team leader at my job. (this gives me some auhtoritative duties over my other teamates but not a direct supervisor).
Back in December I got an email saying I had a training on Friday. Well I already had appointments set all day at the homes of my clients. I went to confer with my teamates in one ladies office (Lets call her T). We found out all of us had training and we called our supervisor on T's phone and put her on speaker phone. I explained that I couldnt do both and could I skip training. She checked and said no but that T did not have training so told T to do the appointments for me. (We have often done apponitments for each other but usually not 7 in one day-which is what I had).
So friday comes and I get the list of my appointments and T's appointments and mapquests them in order. Set my stack of files in order (put notes on them on what I needed T to do for each client) and gave the stack to her before I went in to training. A few minutes later I get a call from the front desk saying T left and she didnt have my files. I pass T's office and see my stack of files, grab them then run to the front thinking she forgot them. She's already in the car so I call her cell from the front desk. She tells me that she is not doing my appointments. We go back and forth for a second then she hangs up. I go back to training steaming mad! One of the team leaders from a different site asks me if she took my files. I told her no, she said she wouldnt.
At break, the other team leader came and told me that she told our supervisor because that was wrong of T and she knew I probebely wouldnt have said anything. So me and my supervisor talk and I tell her what happens. Long story short T gets in trouble when she comes back...straight told the supervisor that I needed to do my own stuff! (Mind you I am REGULARLY covering for T, fixing her stuff, handling her irate clients, doing her appointments-waaaaaaaaaaaaay more than I have to do for the others). DId I mention that T had to go to all of the houses of my clients anyways cause she was driving the company vehicle but refused to go in and do my portion of the visit? So I admit I was hurt by her attitude because it seemed to come outta nowhere. So Im pissed but on monday I come back to work no longer angry ready to move on. Well T is not speaking to me at all. Im a bit confused since I was the wronged party but I figure she'll get over it. She doesn't. So on day two of T not speaking to me I go to her office and ask her if I've done anything to offend her? She says nothings wrong. I say obviously there is...she starts to talk about how Im not her supervisor and some people think they are all of that. So I ask her if she has a problem with me being team leader and why (She was here before me) and she just says I basically need to stay in my place. So I conclude it by outlining my duties as concerns the team and that if at any time she feels I am overstepping my bounds then to let me know.
Two days later she is sent home for 3 months (not going into that part but had nothing to do with me)
When she comes back she still refuses to speak to me. So I go to her again and say I sense tension, whats the problem. She tells me as long as we just keep it business then theres no problem. I let it go and say ok. So I keep acting the same to her (saying goodmorning, no attitude etc.) but she gets to the point where she will refuse to even answer me half the time. Its just petty stuff so I have not felt the need to involve our supervisor.
OK! Finally...heres where I messed up:
Yesterday my DH brought our daughter up to my job in the pm. We were all standing in the front chatting. T walks through the front and she and DH start to chat. As she was leaving I told him not the talk to her. She probebely heard me but at the time I didnt care. The 2 staff that were up there told me not to be like that, DH told me that my issue is between me and her. But I beligerantly held my stance saying no, if she wants me to stay out of her circle/business to the point where she cant even say goodmorning when I speak to her then she needs to stay outta your face. She set the boundaries not me. (this was really outta the norm because I dont expect any of my other coworkers/friends at work to not be friends with her)
Ok so I know I was wrong
. In the car I felt so bad I had to pray right then. So I repented and realized I need to fix what I did. So I called back to work and told each of the 2 staff that they were right and thanks for correcting me. I txt DH and told him the same. I txt T and told her I was wrong in how I reacted and I am sorry. No response from her, as expected. So this morning she comes in same attitude. I feel a little compelled to make sure she got my txt and apologize in person. I go to her office and ask if she got it. She told me to lose her number and keep it business. Then talked about how Im quick to go in a church but aint no different then no one else etc. She was just being cordial etc. At the time I didnt say anything but ok. But when I got back to my office I still felt unsettled and guilty. I know that the enemy wants me to stay feeling guilty-and I do! Cause I should have handled that better. And I kinda feel like I have given her a justifiable reason to continue to disregard me. I know there is nothing else that I can do...is there? I already prayed for her. Im not trying to be her friend again (we were all really close) just work stuff.
I dunno. I felt really really chestized yesterday and now I feel that way again. I could truly say that I was blameless before when she was ignoring me...but now...not so much. Im not sure what Im asking for...advice...encouragement...correction...prayer? JUST HELP!!
