I *THINK* I want to go natural ...

[theneolution]

Hi ladies,

I've lurked on this forum for a few months and officially subscribed not too long ago -- some of you may have seen me on some challenges somewhat posting and in one of the Relaxed Hair thread.

I have been relaxed for quite some time -- I actually remember when I got my first relaxer. I was maybe a little older than 10 or 11 and had been begging for a long time to get my hair relaxed. I detested my kinky hair, and the process of combing it made me detest it just as much. Since then my solution to making my hair more manageable, straight, and flowing has been to have it relaxed.

I'm 23 years old now, still relaxed, but lately I've been curious about my natural hair. I hate the hassle of having my hair relaxed every few weeks and dealing with the struggle of finding a competent beautician. For the last year I've been considering going natural, especially after my APL hair broke off and is chopped off to SL now. The damage is really bad -- but I just can't stop relaxing.

I was wondering if any natural, transitioning, or relaxed ladies have had or is currently having the same dilemma as me? How long did it take you to finally buckle down and transition? What motivated you to do so? How can you tell if going natural is the best thing for you? erplexed

I'd really like to hear from you all!

 

[FemmeCreole]

Just be certain that this is something you really want to do.

I too had my hair relaxed when I was very young. When I transitioned for the first time in 08 I think, I last 11 months and delved back into relaxing. Although I liked my texture, I couldn't handle it, or so I thought. I quickly realized relaxing again was a mistake. My last relaxer was January 11, 2010.

This is a decision you need to make on your own. Evaluate your needs and go from there. There are so many natural head on this board so you are bound to find inspiration and motivation.

 

[Jas123]

i'm thinking about... but i will not bc, if i decide to go natural, i will be a long-term transitioner....... we'll see......

 

[JJamiah]

Have you ever tried to figure out why your hair is breaking?

I have never transitioned, I just shaved myself bald. I didn't do it due to damage, I just wanted a change. I didn't think about natural or relaxed at the moment. I wasn't on the Forum then. . I just did't want to put anything in my hair to alter the texture. I never straigtened it while natural I just enjoyed my hair in some maxell twist, and lauren hill styles.

If you want to do it. Go for it
If you want to try to nurse your hair back to health there is a wealth of information and people that can help.

 

[manter26]

Long story...

I went natural via BC, my sophomore year of college. I really didn't know what to do with my hair and walked around with a ratty half wig all summer until I relaxed again. In 2008, I got serious about hair care and started stretching my relaxers. The first stretch was 5 months and it was torture. The next stretch, I was a few months post and got a Dominican blowout. I couldn't tell the difference between my new growth and relaxed hair and thought why have I been using all these chemicals when some rollers and a blow dryer can give me the same (or better) results.

I was sold on going natural and transitioned for 5 months and BC'd. This time around I used the internet as a resource and relaxing again never crossed my mind. My 2 year natural mark is this August and my hair has never looked better. Funny enough, I don't like it when it's straight...mostly because it's at a weird length. Maybe when I hit MBL, I'll flat iron a couple times a year.

I came to my personal consensus that everyone on here eventually goes natural, so why not start sooner than later. Not everyone stays natural of course, but it's nice to know what your hair is like unaltered.

 

[SmilingElephant]

Hi ladies,

I've lurked on this forum for a few months and officially subscribed not too long ago -- some of you may have seen me on some challenges somewhat posting and in one of the Relaxed Hair thread.

I have been relaxed for quite some time -- I actually remember when I got my first relaxer. I was maybe a little older than 10 or 11 and had been begging for a long time to get my hair relaxed. I detested my kinky hair, and the process of combing it made me detest it just as much. Since then my solution to making my hair more manageable, straight, and flowing has been to have it relaxed.

I'm 23 years old now, still relaxed, but lately I've been curious about my natural hair. I hate the hassle of having my hair relaxed every few weeks and dealing with the struggle of finding a competent beautician. For the last year I've been considering going natural, especially after my APL hair broke off and is chopped off to SL now. The damage is really bad -- but I just can't stop relaxing.

I was wondering if any natural, transitioning, or relaxed ladies have had or is currently having the same dilemma as me? How long did it take you to finally buckle down and transition? What motivated you to do so? How can you tell if going natural is the best thing for you? erplexed

I'd really like to hear from you all!

Awwww....you sound like me! I was considering going natural late 2009-early 2010 bc I was..like u..tired of the hassle as well as the scalp injuries ...but I was dealing with this:

And was afraid to BC. SO...I said I was gonna be a long term transitioner. I only lasted 8 months. And now I have this:

And VERY happy to be able to do this now!

But it's all up to you.

 

[Roux]

I have no memories pre relaxed. My mom says my first relaxer was when I was 9 but I remember being younger than that getting full perms. My hair was always short and broken around NL hovering SL.

Once, after having my daughter, I tried to transition. It didn't last long at all. Once I found hair boards I tried again but relaxed at 4 months post because I had no idea what I was doing.

I am glad that I learned how to grow relaxed hair long and healthy, but I soon became bored with straight hair and I would usually wear my hair in braid outs and bantu knots and started to think about going natural. I decided I was just bored and colored my hair at 6 months post.

Well, after that I decided I would relax because I couldn't take the two textures...but my stylist refused since I had color and asked if I had ever considered going natural...so that was the sign for me that I should really give it a chance. Especially since my daughter is natural.

I bc'd at 13 months post and being natural has been a learning experience. I LOVE my hair do you hear me? We have our ups and downs, but so did me and relaxed hair...but this is just so different to me and i'm able to do so much.

I say go for it, you can always relax if you don't like it.

 

[theneolution]

Excuse me as I quote all of you lovely ladies!

This is a decision you need to make on your own. Evaluate your needs and go from there. There are so many natural head on this board so you are bound to find inspiration and motivation.

Thank you so much for saying that, I`ve actually discussed this with my friends and some have stated opinions of worry, while others are really amped for me to just go natural. The two sides sort of weigh down on me sometimes when I think about my hair -- I never thought I would have this much dilemma with my hair!

i'm thinking about... but i will not bc, if i decide to go natural, i will be a long-term transitioner....... we'll see......

I`ve been thinking the same, I`m really afraid to BC, so think that I too would be a long-term transitioner. Hopefully you and I can make some decisions on the matter soon, haha.

Have you ever tried to figure out why your hair is breaking?

If you want to do it. Go for it
If you want to try to nurse your hair back to health there is a wealth of information and people that can help.

I have been trying really hard to understand my hair and why it acts the way it does -- I think one problem is the bad self-relaxing experience I had and also an inconsistency in my regimen. I don`t keep a set schedule of washing and DCing, which I`ve been trying to correct as a relaxed head. The damage is so bad, however, that I think this would be the best time for me to go natural. Yet I`m also curious as to whether or not I can grow my hair long and healthy and still be relaxed.

I guess I want the health and still am curious about the natural parts! Haha.

I came to my personal consensus that everyone on here eventually goes natural, so why not start sooner than later. Not everyone stays natural of course, but it's nice to know what your hair is like unaltered.

You`re absolutely right -- one of my fears has been going completely natural and hating it like I did when I was younger.

Awwww....you sound like me! I was considering going natural late 2009-early 2010 bc I was..like u..tired of the hassle as well as the scalp injuries ...but I was dealing with this:

And was afraid to BC. SO...I said I was gonna be a long term transitioner. I only lasted 8 months. And now I have this:

And VERY happy to be able to do this now!

But it's all up to you.

Your hair is absolutely beautiful in both forms! Haha. I just can`t imagine myself BCing. That`s part of my problem with going natural -- I don`t really want to wear braids or wigs while transitioning, and I really don`t see myself BCing. So you are very brave!

I say go for it, you can always relax if you don't like it.

You know -- I may just do that. Especially since there is so much inspiration on this board.

 

[growinghealthyhair]

I think I transitioned twice and finally decided to go through with it once I realized how damaged my hair was because of relaxers. The last stylist I went too butchered my hair and did things that further damaged my hair. So I educated myself on healthy hair care and decided to take my hair into my own hands. And I knew a relaxer was too much for me to keep up myself. Best decision I err made!

 

[Majestye]

I remember my pre-relaxed hair from my childhood...breaking blow dryer combs, etc... I relaxed at 16 or so and should have never got hooked on the creamy stuff!

Fast forward to the Past year and a half, when I started toying with going natural. I tried cold turkey for 3 months and went back to relaxing. I was never comfortable with my hair being bone straight, but the beauticians would all say if you underprocess it would break. (Now we know that's not true,but I didn't know better). I tried again and failed over the summer after 4 months turned to texlaxing and found a happy medium. Then it became texlaxing and stretching every 4 months. Now I'm at 7 months and thinking of not processing my hair anymore. I love my texture and can't wait for it to grow out, but it is a bit more work.

It has been easier for me to "transition" by taking baby steps, with texlaxing, then stretching. Going natural is more sustainable now that I'm readjusting to my natural new growth and texlaxed length. I have no breakage thanks to reading tips from the ladies here.

Just know that it's not all or nothing you can take steps and see how it works for you. HHJ!

 

[growinghealthyhair]

Majestye

Miseducated stylists lead me to my decision too. I don't understand how so many aren't taught how to properly care for hair.

 

[bellou04]

my experience with going natural was not easy, i BC twice, i transition without BC twice also. I couldn't deal with my hair texture ( that doesn't mean i hate my texture), i found it hard and time consuming to take care of my natural hair and i am not a fan of braids or twists... SO @ the end, i always ended up with a relaxer. maybe in the near future ill go natural again ( without the BC (no more BC for me )) but for now i'll stick with the perm

 

[Keen]

Long story...

I went natural via BC, my sophomore year of college. I really didn't know what to do with my hair and walked around with a ratty half wig all summer until I relaxed again. In 2008, I got serious about hair care and started stretching my relaxers. The first stretch was 5 months and it was torture. The next stretch, I was a few months post and got a Dominican blowout. I couldn't tell the difference between my new growth and relaxed hair and thought why have I been using all these chemicals when some rollers and a blow dryer can give me the same (or better) results.

I was sold on going natural and transitioned for 5 months and BC'd. This time around I used the internet as a resource and relaxing again never crossed my mind. My 2 year natural mark is this August and my hair has never looked better. Funny enough, I don't like it when it's straight...mostly because it's at a weird length. Maybe when I hit MBL, I'll flat iron a couple times a year.

I came to my personal consensus that everyone on here eventually goes natural, so why not start sooner than later. Not everyone stays natural of course, but it's nice to know what your hair is like unaltered.

I agree with you. I don't think it's everyone but it's a high percentage.

 

[MsLi@512]

Long story...

I went natural via BC, my sophomore year of college. I really didn't know what to do with my hair and walked around with a ratty half wig all summer until I relaxed again. In 2008, I got serious about hair care and started stretching my relaxers. The first stretch was 5 months and it was torture. The next stretch, I was a few months post and got a Dominican blowout. I couldn't tell the difference between my new growth and relaxed hair and thought why have I been using all these chemicals when some rollers and a blow dryer can give me the same (or better) results.

I was sold on going natural and transitioned for 5 months and BC'd. This time around I used the internet as a resource and relaxing again never crossed my mind. My 2 year natural mark is this August and my hair has never looked better. Funny enough, I don't like it when it's straight...mostly because it's at a weird length. Maybe when I hit MBL, I'll flat iron a couple times a year.

I came to my personal consensus that everyone on here eventually goes natural, so why not start sooner than later. Not everyone stays natural of course, but it's nice to know what your hair is like unaltered.

:scratchch:scratchch:assimilat

I say do what YOU want to do, what fits your lifestyle and schedule. If you think you should go natural then do so. If not... don't but I think you should really try hard to commit to a good regimen regardless of where you land and learn all you can on how to care for your hair.
at the bolded above, hmmmm, still tossing that around the old noggin.

 

[isawstars]

Have you thought about texlaxing? When I was relaxed I considered being natural... but I didn't know if I could handle it or even like it on myself. So I texlaxed... and loved it. After being completely texlaxed for 1 year, it got to the point where I LOVED my texture and only wanted the relaxer to sit on my roots for a few minutes. After a mishap with my stylist I wanted to be salon free. I don't know why I didn't sooner because I was only going to the salon for texlaxing every 4 months.

Everyone is different but I know that if I never texlaxed I wouldn't even consider being natural because it was too drastic of a change for me. I don't consider myself a transitioner because my natural hair is so close to my texlaxed texure.

And like my boyfriend always says, "it's just hair." I feel like we tend to forget that and that keeps us from experimenting with our hair.

 

[Prelude to a Kiss]

My motivations to go natural were trust issues and laziness. There are only three people I trust with my hair: my Mami for relaxing and two family friends for trims.

I had pretty healthy hair practices when I left home, but I had no clue how to self-relax. Even though I watched a million videos and tutorials I ended up burning my nape the first time I tried. That was the last straw for me. After throwing a fit I decided that relaxing could kick rocks.

As for the decision to go natural, that's up to you. It doesn't matter if you BC or transition forever. Just know that if ever you get curious or fed up enough there are many lovely ladies here willing to help.

 

[lilsparkle825]

So why is it you want to go natural....just to see your natural texture? You can just do a long stretch for that lol....but seriously, I think something that would be extremely helpful would be to make a list of pros and cons as YOU see fit. It's YOU, not your friends, dealing with your hair on a day-to-day basis. Their decisions shouldn't sway you one way or the other.

Just start with stretching and go a week or two longer between each touchup. That will let you know if you really want to do it, help your hair rest and recover (and perhaps even become healthy), AND give you time to research. I hear so many women say they're happy they are natural, then relax their hair because they don't know how to deal with it or are sick of wearing it in one style. Not that going back to a relaxer would be a crime, of course....but if that's a decision you make down the line, it's best not to do it out of frustration.

My story: I transitioned because I had just come out of a sew-in (don't know why I ever went down that road) and couldn't get a relaxer right away....I made an emergency trip to the Dominican salon for a blowout and was in awe of how my hair looked. I reasoned just like manter26 -- why not go natural and get a DB when I wanted straight hair? (I also don't really like my hair straight now....go figure!) I used the weave, which was in for 3 months, and DBs, which I did for 6 months, for most of my transition. I experimented with my hair for 3 more months before I decided to BC....and I am sooo glad I did because these 3 months are the point in my transition when I learned the most about my hair. I actually planned on a 2-3 year transition, but lots of people who had a change of plans like me will tell you....sometimes you just have an urge out of nowhere to BC! All in all, my transition lasted a total of 12 months before I chopped in June of 2008, right after my third year of college. I am now 3 years natural and sitting at MBL and absolutely love my hair.

Oh yeah....my two cents on the everyone on this board goes natural thing: I think there are some die-hard relaxer fans, just like we have natural Nazis lol.....but I personally wish every woman would do it at once in her adult life. Whether she stays natural or not is not the issue, IMO. There are so many negative views of Black hair in our community OVERALL (as in outside of the board) and I think that could change a lot if women saw that their natural texture, which many women haven't seen in decades, is not as 'bad' as they tell themselves it is. Some conditioner will change your life. LMAO

 

[manter26]

So why is it you want to go natural....just to see your natural texture? You can just do a long stretch for that lol....but seriously, I think something that would be extremely helpful would be to make a list of pros and cons as YOU see fit. It's YOU, not your friends, dealing with your hair on a day-to-day basis. Their decisions shouldn't sway you one way or the other.

Just start with stretching and go a week or two longer between each touchup. That will let you know if you really want to do it, help your hair rest and recover (and perhaps even become healthy), AND give you time to research. I hear so many women say they're happy they are natural, then relax their hair because they don't know how to deal with it or are sick of wearing it in one style. Not that going back to a relaxer would be a crime, of course....but if that's a decision you make down the line, it's best not to do it out of frustration.

My story: I transitioned because I had just come out of a sew-in (don't know why I ever went down that road) and couldn't get a relaxer right away....I made an emergency trip to the Dominican salon for a blowout and was in awe of how my hair looked. I reasoned just like manter26 -- why not go natural and get a DB when I wanted straight hair? (I also don't really like my hair straight now....go figure!) I used the weave, which was in for 3 months, and DBs, which I did for 6 months, for most of my transition. I experimented with my hair for 3 more months before I decided to BC....and I am sooo glad I did because these 3 months are the point in my transition when I learned the most about my hair. I actually planned on a 2-3 year transition, but lots of people who had a change of plans like me will tell you....sometimes you just have an urge out of nowhere to BC! All in all, my transition lasted a total of 12 months before I chopped in June of 2008, right after my third year of college. I am now 3 years natural and sitting at MBL and absolutely love my hair.

Oh yeah....my two cents on the everyone on this board goes natural thing: I think there are some die-hard relaxer fans, just like we have natural Nazis lol.....but I personally wish every woman would do it at once in her adult life. Whether she stays natural or not is not the issue, IMO. There are so many negative views of Black hair in our community OVERALL (as in outside of the board) and I think that could change a lot if women saw that their natural texture, which many women haven't seen in decades, is not as 'bad' as they tell themselves it is. Some conditioner will change your life. LMAO

Cosigning on all of this! My use of the word "everyone" should be taken lightly. I sure there are plenty of women on this board who will never see their hair fully natural as an adult. I think trying out the other side cures the grass is always greener syndrome. Having relaxed hair can give you a better understanding your natural hair does and having natural hair gives you a better understanding of your relaxed hair.

For example, I had no idea my hair could burn to a silky straight crisp when I was relaxed. Now that I'm natural, I see how easy it is to get heat damage. If in some alternate universe, I were to relax again, I know how delicate my hair is and I would treat it much better than I did in the past. Having knowledge about your hair in both states can never be a bad thing.

The bolded is siggie worthy, I might need to hang onto that one.

 

[LovelyNaps26]

i spent a good 6 months thinking about it. i research "natural" relaxers which I learned were nothing but glorified texturizers and possible other options. Once I made the decision I transitioned for 10 months. Even then I could have relaxed it I regretted it.

Transitioning can give you an idea of how you might feel. By the end of 10 months I was so excited to see my natural hair that I cut my transition shorter and big chopped.

I also told myself that once I officially went natural I wanted to at least give myself 1 year of trial and error with my hair. if at the end I hated it then I would relax guilt free. Needless to say I loved my little 3 inch fro evidenced by my decision to add a few more inches to it

 

[theneolution]

LovelyNaps26 -- It`s so funny you say that. I just told my roommate I wouldn`t relax for 6 months, maybe a year and see how I like it. I think I`m going to settle with that idea.

 

[Majestye]

Majestye

Miseducated stylists lead me to my decision too. I don't understand how so many aren't taught how to properly care for hair.

It's a shame because you trust their advice. I frequently told my stylist about new techniques and things I've learned on forums and YouTube. I used to purposely underprocess my hair, but I learned the proper way and term for it once I joined this forum. Since then no burning of the scalp (even the stylists would burm me) and great results everytime.

 

[theneolution]

So why is it you want to go natural....just to see your natural texture?

No no no -- I didn`t say JUST that -- but also because I hate the hassle of relaxers and dealing with salons. I also failed to mention that I really have my heart set on travelling, and think that dealing with natural hair in a foreign country would be much more simple than relaxed hair. Especially if I plan on living in Japan for a year -- where I know the only salons that deal with black hair and relaxers are closer to major cities and military bases. Lol.

 

[LoveTheSkinImIn]

I kinda started off the way you did, *thinking* I wanted to go natural but not really being sure. So when I decided to try, I didn't think of it as "I'm going natural period point blank"...I just told myself that I was going to hold out on getting a relaxer as long as I could, and if I wanted to relax at any time, then I would be okay with that. I guess I didn't make "being natural" my end goal (I frequently play mindgames with myself like this) And I used that time of not getting a relaxer to really think about whether I wanted to be natural...the more and more new growth I got, the more I loved it and decided that I would continue to transition (Then I just cut it off...lol)

So maybe if you just see where the no relaxer phase takes you and use that time to figure out if this is what you really want, then that could help you make a decision. Good luck though.

 

[New2me]

OP,

I decided on natural hair from lurking here and talking with a friend of mine. I was wearing braids for vacation, then flat twist because i decided to do a 12 week stretch. However the stretched turned into more lurking and a final decision to texlax while im transitioning and thinking.

I am still around 13/14 weeks so im early in my journey but I cant wait for it to unfold.

HHG

 

[HappilyLiberal]

@LovelyNaps26 -- It`s so funny you say that. I just told my roommate I wouldn`t relax for 6 months, maybe a year and see how I like it. I think I`m going to settle with that idea.

I started off planning to transition for 2.5 years. After five months I got bored and relaxed and immediately regretted it. Then I said I would transition for 2 years. After six months I got tired of dealing with the two textures and BC'd. I am now 25+ days post (I BC'd on May 28th). I haven't regretted it. I did BC twice before... once in 2004 and again in 2006 but neither of those times took! I joined the hair boards and it took a while, but it seems to be sticking this time. It helps that there is so much more info out their now than there was when I tried it in 2004.

 

[curlycrown85]

I transitioned for a couple of months, BC'd back in April and will never look back. Going natural was the best thing I could have done, and I've never loved my hair more. Sure, it's short, but it's growing at a rapid rate with 0 breakage. In less than a year, my hair will be past the maximum length it reached when relaxed. Plus, it's the best journey to go through discovering a side of you that you never knew -- this beautiful curly hair that for years you've chemically straightened. It's amazing.

 

[chrisanddonniesmommy]

I say go for it. If you have an itch, why not scratch? I joined LHCF while I relaxed; however, after seeing the stories of transitioners and naturals, I researched until the itch subsided. Now I am 13 months into my two-year (maybe more) transition. My only regret is that I should've started January 2010, instead of after my final relaxer that May. I would've been seventeen months in.

 

[Natty_Virgo]

I am in the same boat. I had hair to my bra strap and damage has caused it to be just past shoulder length now so I came to this board looking for hair care advice and how to maintain my relaxer but after lurking and reading and seeing so many beautiful heads of hair I have decided to go natural. I cancelled my relaxer appointment lol. I don't want to BC though so hopefully I am able to keep my hair healthy as I transition for how ever long this takes.

 

[CurlsBazillion]

@ OP. The first time I went natural was my senior year in highschool, but by the end of my freshman year in college I was relaxed again. I can't blame it on not knowing what I was doing because I didn't know what I was doing with my relaxed hair lol. I was ignorant about my hair needs in general. Now that you have the tools, knowledge, and drive to have healthy hair you can go either way with this. I say its just hair and if natural isn't for you then relax again. I know I did. I went natural again because I began to hate plain ole straight hair and because my stylist tried to scalp me... kinda glad it happened this way because I'm very very happy with my hair now!! Due to lack of patience my transition didn't last but a min (i think 6 months) Good luck either way!

 

[Imani]

I started reading hair boards around 06 fed up with my hair; I was relaxed at the time, had been getting relaxers since I was 12. I generally took decent care of my hair even before the boards (no glue, weaves, micros for extensive amounts of time, no excessive or really strong relaxers, I used high quality products, always went to supposedly the best salons for service, always deep conditioned, etc). So I just didn't understand why it always hovered around NL. So I tried everything on the boards (acv rinses, different relaxers, stretching relaxers, bunning, baggying, dominican products, little to no heat, etc.) And it would do good for a while, maybe get close to SL but eventually it always broke off.

So I finally decided to try going natural in 09. I said I would not relax for 6 months and at that point decide if I wanted to keep going. I did, and my hair is much healthier now. I did not BC, I transitioned and just gradually cut the ends off. I just made SL not too long ago and I think I am on track to make APL by year end, which will be the longest my hair has ever been in my life.

The biggest part of my decision was having healthy hair and scalp. I also hated getting relaxers, the smell, and they almost always burned bc my scalp is sensitive. Plus, having the freedom of not having to rely on a stylist to apply the chemicals to my hair. (like you, I too wouldn't mind living overseas for a while; and that was always in the back of my head, who would do my relaxers?) Also, I have kind of fine hair, and it always looked horrid and thin right after a relaxer. I like big hair and when I get my natural hair straightened, its always full and has body.