It's just hair....right?

[Bublnbrnsuga]

Okay, here's the deal-le-o.
I have been going back and forth with the issues of my hair. I remember reading something about how our moderator, pebbles, relaxes and once she gets bored with it, she'll relax, get bored with relaxing, go natural again, and the pattern continues. It seems to me she has understanding of the concept of it JUST BEING HAIR!!
Anyway, I have been natural for almost 4 years and while I love being natural and I am waiting for my hair to be past shoulder length in it's natural state, I can say I am getting bored with it. I've been getting the urge to just CUT THIS MESS OFF!! I remember when I cut off my relaxed ends and began to style my hair, it was very difficult, but about two months later, I got the hang of it. My two strands were off da chain, my shake and go's were on the go-go, my puffs were puffalicious, my twistouts were banging and my favorite style, my 'phatty' two strand twists and twistouts were just too cute! Now, since it's getting longer, the above styles have been a great disappointment. Whenever I try to puff it up, my hair resembles a matted tumbleweed My shake and go's are big no-no's and my two strand twists??? Can you say UGHHH!!
Eventhough I am going through all of this with my hair and it disappointing me, I still haven't grasped the concept of it just being hair. I am the only person in my family with long hair and you should just see their reactions whenever my length shows!! At my wedding shower, my hair was the highlight. Everyone was in awe at how it grew back after my big chop.
I was a bit uncomfortable (anybody else feel this way?) being put in the light about my hair. It was like I was an unfamiliar creature and everyone just had to say something or touch me to see if I were real. People make a big deal about my hair and it's length!! I remember when I would tell my mother I would cut my hair she would mention my 'grandmother rolling around in her grave if I cut it off!!!' Then there's me. Will I be disappointed with the turnout? Will I regret cutting my hair? Will I cry? Will my hubby have to deal with me pouting? I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. I am really searching deep inside of my soul to come to terms with my hair and it's hold on me. Why am I afraid to cut it off , especially since I am not thrilled with the length it is now? Anyone else out there feel me? Also, who has come to the realization that it's just hair, nothing more, nothing less?

 

[Proudpiscean]

How short are you thinking about going? Maybe a trim 1-2 inches will get it back on track and help it "act right again" until you decide for sure what you want to do?

ETA: I do know what you mean...I'm thinking about going natural and just the thought of the BC gives me the shakes

 

[Wildchild453]

I think at times it is hard for us to come to the conclusion that it is just hair. That it will grow back and we will see it again. Its something you already experienced doing the BC and 4 yrs later you have a ton of hair.

I think that you should cut it if you don't like the way your hair styles are coming out. Whats the pt of having hair if you're not going to enjoy it?

 

[Bublnbrnsuga]

How short are you thinking about going? Maybe a trim 1-2 inches will get it back on track and help it "act right again" until you decide for sure what you want to do?

ETA: I do know what you mean...I'm thinking about going natural and just the thought of the BC gives me the shakes

Ummm, I am thinking about getting it CUT, a for real cut, like almost a big choppish cut.

 

[patient1]

Off-topic:

Is that you in the signature pic? I keep thinking it is and then not...LOL!!

Anyway, your hair looks great natural and straight. I think I've long come to the realization that it's just hair: I've shaven it bald, clean. Colored it. Twisted it. I was locing it since memorial day, then decided against it. Cause it's hair...MY hair.

I want to feel good about the decisions I make pertaining to my hair. I like it's versatility. I'm growing it long, cause that's something I've never done in all my years and years of natural hair.

You've had other urges when it came to your hair...just go for one of them.

p1

 

[moda]

I say it is just hair and if you want to cut it then why not. You have been there before and preferred your hair at a shorter length so why are you so scared to do it? I totally understand where you are coming from and was upset with my hair as well and one day I just pulled out the scissors and cut it to about chin length, the only regret is not doing it sooner I know it will grow back heck it already has started and it is taking a lot for me not to cut it again

 

[firecracker]

Whats the big deal It will grow back so cut it if you really want to.

 

[Wishin4BSL]

I understand girl. I have a big fear about cutting my hair because I've never had long hair and it's always been the same length. I'm afraid that if I cut it, it won't grow back. I'm going to wait to see if I have any luck with growing it to BSL. If it does, I'm going to cut it back to APL and work on thickening it up instead of length. I want to be sure first though!

 

[Caramela]

How big of a cut are we talking???

 

[Lucie]

I did the BC 2 years ago and I don't regret it. However, I am trying to reach BSL, so I cannot imagine giving someone the thumbs-up to chop their own hair off. Well........... unless their hair needed it ASAP! Which yours doesn't

Have you ever thought of relaxing your hair? It would look so pretty! Whatever you decide, your hair will still look gorgeous.

It's just hair and trust me, it grows back!

 

[Jas123]

BBS, Ok..1st of all your hair is absolutely gorgeous...it's at a great length wear you can do anything with it...EXCEPT CUT IT OFF!

 

[Soleado]

I think at times it is hard for us to come to the conclusion that it is just hair. That it will grow back and we will see it again. Its something you already experienced doing the BC and 4 yrs later you have a ton of hair.

I think that you should cut it if you don't like the way your hair styles are coming out. Whats the pt of having hair if you're not going to enjoy it?

This is my philosophy as well. The hair doesn't make the person, the person makes the hair. If you have an idea of how you want your hair to look then I say cut it. You don't have to go very short, but short enough well it feels like a big enough change for you. Your hair seems to grow pretty fast so you can always grow it back if and when you decide.

 

[Lucie]

Do a poll girl!

 

[so1913]

Coming for Miss Scissor Happy herself....

I say if you want shorter hair, go for it! Doesn't make sense to be continuously unhappy with your current hair for the sake of simply having "long" hair, ya know? Shorter hair can be stylish, fun and funky!!!

Melanizm (Mkstar) recently cut her natural hair short after growing it out long, she cut in stages, cut off a few inches, and then another couple a few months later to go shorter, and has even mentioned possibly cutting off more. Her hair looks great!

Hair grows and change is good....sounds like a great combo to me It's what YOU wanna do

Good Luck in your decision making!

 

[nurseN98]

If you feel that way then cut it! Make life as easy as possible for yourself, don't expend too much emotional energy on this...we all know your hair is gonna be beautiful regardless

 

[Mizani_Mrs]

Well take your time to think about it. Cause perhaps, just as it took you a while to get the swing of styling your short hair... maybe you will soon learn what your longer hair needs/likes. It's a learning process. But if you do feel like the long natural hair doesn't work with your favorite styles. Then i'd say that you need to just go ahead and cut off a few inches and stick to that length. And then when you are at your favorite length, and you keep it on that length..think about all of the thickness you will be gaining (by consistently trimming your ends)!!!

 

[hopeful]

Why not just cut it back to your favorite length and be done with it? Or if you want to reach waist length, keep it in braids and leave it alone until it reaches that length. I don't understand the concept of bc'ng though when you do like some length. I think you are overwhelmed because you have too many choices and are expecting too much from your hair. You have to decide if you want length or style and be done with it. If you really want length then you will likely need to sacrifice style until you reach your goal. If you want style, bouncy, behaving cute hair like you had before then you will need to cut it. Either way I say make a decision and stick to it for awhile. Either way you'll be losing something (length or style), at least for awhile. I think once you accept that you'll be okay.

You just have to decide what you want MOST and you may only want it a little tiny bit more. Maybe if you take your family's opinion out of the question that would help you make a decision as well. Imagine if your family (including your husband) would not see you for the next year, so nobody could comment or say anything about your hair, what would you do then?

 

[Cheleigh]

Why not just cut it back to your favorite length and be done with it? Or if you want to reach waist length, keep it in braids and leave it alone until it reaches that length. I don't understand the concept of bc'ng though when you do like some length. I think you are overwhelmed because you have too many choices and are expecting too much from your hair. You have to decide if you want length or style and be done with it. If you really want length then you will likely need to sacrifice style until you reach your goal. If you want style, bouncy, behaving cute hair like you had before then you will need to cut it. Either way I say make a decision and stick to it for awhile. Either way you'll be losing something (length or style), at least for awhile. I think once you accept that you'll be okay.

You just have to decide what you want MOST and you may only want it a little tiny bit more. Maybe if you take your family's opinion out of the question that would help you make a decision as well. Imagine if your family (including your husband) would not see you for the next year, so nobody could comment or say anything about your hair, what would you do then?

Good advice Hopeful. ITA. Although I tend to disagree with the statement "it's just hair," I do agree that it's a fluid object that doesn't need to stay static if you don't want it to. With my BC, it's the first time I've had short hair, and I really like it. I do want my hair to grow long enough to put into a pony puff, but I think I won't be much interested in length after that, even though my hair was APL when relaxed.

 

[hotshot]

Okay, here's the deal-le-o.
I have been going back and forth with the issues of my hair. I remember reading something about how our moderator, pebbles, relaxes and once she gets bored with it, she'll relax, get bored with relaxing, go natural again, and the pattern continues. It seems to me she has understanding of the concept of it JUST BEING HAIR!!
Anyway, I have been natural for almost 4 years and while I love being natural and I am waiting for my hair to be past shoulder length in it's natural state, I can say I am getting bored with it. I've been getting the urge to just CUT THIS MESS OFF!! I remember when I cut off my relaxed ends and began to style my hair, it was very difficult, but about two months later, I got the hang of it. My two strands were off da chain, my shake and go's were on the go-go, my puffs were puffalicious, my twistouts were banging and my favorite style, my 'phatty' two strand twists and twistouts were just too cute! Now, since it's getting longer, the above styles have been a great disappointment. Whenever I try to puff it up, my hair resembles a matted tumbleweed My shake and go's are big no-no's and my two strand twists??? Can you say UGHHH!!
Eventhough I am going through all of this with my hair and it disappointing me, I still haven't grasped the concept of it just being hair. I am the only person in my family with long hair and you should just see their reactions whenever my length shows!! At my wedding shower, my hair was the highlight. Everyone was in awe at how it grew back after my big chop.
I was a bit uncomfortable (anybody else feel this way?) being put in the light about my hair. It was like I was an unfamiliar creature and everyone just had to say something or touch me to see if I were real. People make a big deal about my hair and it's length!! I remember when I would tell my mother I would cut my hair she would mention my 'grandmother rolling around in her grave if I cut it off!!!' Then there's me. Will I be disappointed with the turnout? Will I regret cutting my hair? Will I cry? Will my hubby have to deal with me pouting? I am stuck between a rock and a hard place. I am really searching deep inside of my soul to come to terms with my hair and it's hold on me. Why am I afraid to cut it off , especially since I am not thrilled with the length it is now? Anyone else out there feel me? Also, who has come to the realization that it's just hair, nothing more, nothing less?

girl i cut my hair off to an 1/8 of an inch, or thereabout, after about eight years natural. I felt like i was going natural for the first time-my hair has never been that short, i never bc'd and i had all the questions you just expressed. I was 'over' the length my hair was and wanted to start anew and grow it back real thick.

Well, six months later, I am still loving the short hair, and i regularly consider cutting it even shorter. yes i want a big fat crazy fro, or a nice full braidout, but they will have to wait until i feel like it! cutting my hair freed me in so many ways-it forced me to be confident in my looks and feel good no matter what, it also took my out of this sometimes obsessive rigamarole of growing your hair that can drive you crazy.

if you are already trying to keep it simple, cutting is the simplest you can go.

good luck!
hotshot

 

[firecracker]

Errah I hope your only talking about a simple cut. Your hair is gawgeous no matter what chile.

 

[Syrah]

I am sooooo with you on this one. I was relaxed for most of my "youth" - I went natural and have been for about 2.5 years. I'm enjoying learning my texture and what to do with it....but it's JUST HAIR. It's not that serious. I've thought about relaxing, and I probably will one day - and then will chop it and go back to being natural.

It seems that for some of us sisters, it's more than hair. There's so much attached to our hair (and so much baggage surrounding it) - and there's a ton of reasons for it...which I don't feel like getting into. But its so serious for us. For some of my non-black friends...in the summer she's got blonde highlights, in the fall she dyes it an auburn color, in the winter she goes chin length (from mid back) and then dies it black and in the winter she dyes the underneath part light. It's hair...and like fashion, you learn, you play, you enjoy.

:::and I like your idea of the simple challenge:::

I think some of us get so caught up in challenges, and goals, and lengths and SERIOUS regimens that we lose sight of the bigger picture - it's hair, it does GROW and maintain when you take care of it - and it's meant to accentuate you, not BECOME you.

 

[babyblue]

thats pretty much my philosphy now. It's just hair...do what makes you happy. I think a twa will look good on you. Besides if you don't like it you can always grow it out again. Like someone else mentioned why don't you cut it in stages a little at a time till u find a comfortable lenght.

 

[MeccaMedinah]

I am sooooo with you on this one. I was relaxed for most of my "youth" - I went natural and have been for about 2.5 years. I'm enjoying learning my texture and what to do with it....but it's JUST HAIR. It's not that serious. I've thought about relaxing, and I probably will one day - and then will chop it and go back to being natural.

It seems that for some of us sisters, it's more than hair. There's so much attached to our hair (and so much baggage surrounding it) - and there's a ton of reasons for it...which I don't feel like getting into. But its so serious for us. For some of my non-black friends...in the summer she's got blonde highlights, in the fall she dyes it an auburn color, in the winter she goes chin length (from mid back) and then dies it black and in the winter she dyes the underneath part light. It's hair...and like fashion, you learn, you play, you enjoy.

:::and I like your idea of the simple challenge:::

I think some of us get so caught up in challenges, and goals, and lengths and SERIOUS regimens that we lose sight of the bigger picture - it's hair, it does GROW and maintain when you take care of it - and it's meant to accentuate you, not BECOME you.

You summed up my feelings perfectly!

 

[Syrah]

You summed up my feelings perfectly!

I had to snap out of it when i realized I had stopped doing the things I loved (namely swimming) because of my hair. One day a homegirl was like "lets go to the beach" and I said "nah, cuz I don't feel like doing my hair" and then stopped and was like "hold up - now THIS is a problem".

Its about finding ways to enjoy your hair without it completely altering your lifestyle.

Needless to say I was at the pool all day friday, and at the beach on Saturday - deep conditioned both nights and globbed up on the Suave Humectant to get rid of those tangles. Lost a few strands here and there, but it's all still there.

 

[Ms Kraft]

Okay, here's my two cents . You have mastered the art of growing your hair out, so if you feel like cutting it down and later change your mind, you now have the skills to do just that (unlike the slow learners like me still struggling with the process -). So I say go for what makes you happy today, because tomorrow's not promised and if shorter hair is going to make you happy, then go for yours and do your thang, sistah!

 

[SparklingFlame]

Okay, here's my two cents . You have mastered the art of growing your hair out, so if you feel like cutting it down and later change your mind, you now have the skills to do just that (unlike the slow learners like me still struggling with the process -). So I say go for what makes you happy today, because tomorrow's not promised and if shorter hair is going to make you happy, then go for yours and do your thang, sistah!

^^^What she said!

 

[Peachtree]

do what makes u happy
if u think a shorter cut will enable u to have more styling options, then go for it. Remember, it'll grow back

 

[caligirl]

I had to snap out of it when i realized I had stopped doing the things I loved (namely swimming) because of my hair. One day a homegirl was like "lets go to the beach" and I said "nah, cuz I don't feel like doing my hair" and then stopped and was like "hold up - now THIS is a problem".

Its about finding ways to enjoy your hair without it completely altering your lifestyle.

Needless to say I was at the pool all day friday, and at the beach on Saturday - deep conditioned both nights and globbed up on the Suave Humectant to get rid of those tangles. Lost a few strands here and there, but it's all still there.

I caught myself doing this too. I was visiting with friends out of town and they wanted to go dancing at a club Saturday night, and I was "No, man. I don't want to sweat out my press." I ended up going dancing afterall, poofy hair and all.

 

[DelightfulFlame]

I went back and forth for about a year thinking about texturizing and it's issues after being natural for 3 years. When you get ready to make a change, you'll know...b/c you won't give a rat's arse about anybody...any questions...anything...other than doing what you want to do.

It is just hair to me. I'm thinking maybe locs next...in a few years after I get past this weird energy that is surrounding me.

 

[jetcitygirl]

I can totally understand your quandry. Been through it myself lately. Everyone's perspective is a little different about whether "it's just hair" or not. That really depends on you. To me it is just hair; a renewable adornment to be played with and that's about it. Do what suits you so that you love your hair. If that means cutting it a little then do it! There's no point in growing your hair super long if it's aggravating you. I like hopeful's advice:

If you really want length then you will likely need to sacrifice style until you reach your goal. If you want style, bouncy, behaving cute hair like you had before then you will need to cut it. Either way I say make a decision and stick to it for awhile. Either way you'll be losing something (length or style), at least for awhile. I think once you accept that you'll be okay.

I may be a little biased because I just got a haircut and I'm ecstatic with having shape and definition to my hair again. You should think about what YOU really want and not about being a hair-growing role model for your family.