long hair ladies & how u really feel about those stares?

DDTexlaxed

TRANSITION OVER! 11-22-14
I'm guilty of staring, but I try not to get caught!:lachen: Sorry, I love long hair and I admire it on others.:blush: If I ever get there...I'd take it as a compliment.:yep:
 

gabulldawg

Well-Known Member
I usually notice the stares when I'm wearing my "hair pieces. :lol: I'm pretty sure people are trying to figure out if it's mine or not. I do a good job of blending my hair and getting hair that matches my texture and color so it's usually hard to figure out if it's real or fake. I enjoy the stares because I figure the longer they stare the harder it is to figure out if it's mine or not!

When I wear my own hair I don't usually get too many stares or questions. I'm only APL now. When I was younger and close to BSL people would ask me if all my hair was mine on the regular. They'd also ask if I added tracks to it because it used to be so THICK!
 

explosiva9

Active Member
I don't care if people stare at it but when they start talking out of their face, I have a problem. Whether it's a weave or not, it's not your concern. But I definitely hate it when people touch my hair. I had a bad experience once where a girl was supposedly "admiring" my hair and running her hand in it and put gum all over my hair. she thought I was going to have to cut it all off but she didn't know I was smarter than her and with some cooking oil, got all of it out! I washed and did my hair and the next day I was swinging it in her face and she was furious! My hair was BSL at that point. Since then, I am very weary of anyone getting near my beautiful hair!!
 

Ediese

New Member
LOL I'm a little past APL, but I haven't noticed anyone giving me the "stare" yet. That'll probably change when I get to MBL because then it'll be long and BIG. lol I can't wait.
 

bravenewgirl87

New Member
And then there are the people who ask what im mixed with and tell me I have the longest hair they've ever seen on a black girl. I
This doesn't surprise me given your location. It wouldn't surprise me either if the people who asked were white. J-Ville has some very peculiar people with a odd perception of blacks.
 

*Muffin*

New Member
I can understand why a person would be annoyed if someone was staring them down and looking hateful. Sometimes people's bad energy rubs others the wrong way and they react angrily. On the other hand if a person is staring and has a pleasant look, like they truly admire your hair, it makes you feel good. Overall, I don't think anyone likes to be looked at like they are a circus freak. And no one wants to receive negative feedback on something they've worked so hard to accomplish.
 

NYAmicas

Seeker
Like some others I really dont notice and I dont get many stares to my knowledge but DH has caught some glares thrown in my direction. I think some people think I'm mixed due to some comments so I guess that's why they arent that crazy with it. Wasitlength!? I'd be staring too to be honest, but not rudely lol.
 

truequeen06

Well-Known Member
I don't mind too much when people stare, but sometimes I get those nasty stares with someone looking me up and down or a group of girls staring me up and down and coming up behind me saying loudly "Now she knows that ain't her hair" or "I hate when people get unrealistic weaves when they know there's no way their hair can be that long." At that point I'll bust out a ponytail holder or something and start playing with my hair and putting it up in a way that makes it obvious its not a weave. The catty-ness of some women when it comes to hair never ceases to amaze me.
 

NYAmicas

Seeker
I don't care if people stare at it but when they start talking out of their face, I have a problem. Whether it's a weave or not, it's not your concern. But I definitely hate it when people touch my hair. I had a bad experience once where a girl was supposedly "admiring" my hair and running her hand in it and put gum all over my hair. she thought I was going to have to cut it all off but she didn't know I was smarter than her and with some cooking oil, got all of it out! I washed and did my hair and the next day I was swinging it in her face and she was furious! My hair was BSL at that point. Since then, I am very weary of anyone getting near my beautiful hair!!

That's crazy! :wallbash: I'm glad you got the upper hand. I cant believe someone would have the audacity to do that.
 

empressri

Well-Known Member
I'd rather someone ask out of genuine curiosity, but when I get that "you must be mixed" sh*t then I'm rearing up to politely cuss them out.

My people, my people.
 

Mars_Reiko

New Member
I get stares, but most people say "your hair is beautiful", then immediately after that ask "is it yours?" lol I find it so hilarious.
 

luckiestdestiny

Well-Known Member
I get stares as its closing in on midback, and they don't seem friendly but I don't care. I don't flip it because I don't care to prove myself. Is it annoying? Sometimes, but I like my hair long so oh well. There's worse things in the world than being stared at for having long hair. The other day I went in a pizza parlor and this girl did a double take and came in. I already knew what it was about. She looked me up and down and then left. My boyfriend was like wtf? I just said "women" and he was like, he knew some women were competitive but he'd never seen anything like that before. He'd seen them look at me, but not enough to come in a store and stare and then leave. It was hilarious!
 

luckiestdestiny

Well-Known Member
disclaimer: okay so my hair is barely APL so i guess it's not "long" by my standards, and Im currently growing out my layers.

I never thought i'll say this, but i HATE it when people stare at my hair! I hate it hate it hate it :wallbash: I'll rather get a negative comment, or a positive comment than the weird deer in the headlight stare. Especially from guys. In the town i live, brown skin is still a minority, so the colored folk just stare and dont even know what to say. While the white folk are always quick to say how nice it looks.what gives?

The other day i wore my hair down, I was not impressed by how many people thought it was okay to run their fingers through it without permission!

venting complete :look:
Um yeah. I get that to, until I give the look of death. Maybe they think its okay but it's just not. I don't know where your hands have been, and I don't want everyone's hands in my hair anyways. I avoid manipulation, so why would I want someone else doing it. That is crazy that someone would do that. Maybe it's also a weave check. I never thought of that before.:lachen:
 

Extremus

Well-Known Member
I don't care if people stare at it but when they start talking out of their face, I have a problem. Whether it's a weave or not, it's not your concern. But I definitely hate it when people touch my hair. I had a bad experience once where a girl was supposedly "admiring" my hair and running her hand in it and put gum all over my hair. she thought I was going to have to cut it all off but she didn't know I was smarter than her and with some cooking oil, got all of it out! I washed and did my hair and the next day I was swinging it in her face and she was furious! My hair was BSL at that point. Since then, I am very weary of anyone getting near my beautiful hair!!

omg! the lengths women would take off of hatred/jealousy :nono: sad.

I don't mind too much when people stare, but sometimes I get those nasty stares with someone looking me up and down or a group of girls staring me up and down and coming up behind me saying loudly "Now she knows that ain't her hair" or "I hate when people get unrealistic weaves when they know there's no way their hair can be that long." At that point I'll bust out a ponytail holder or something and start playing with my hair and putting it up in a way that makes it obvious its not a weave. The catty-ness of some women when it comes to hair never ceases to amaze me.

:lol: I'm sorry, but my ego would be boosted :grin: I feed off of hatred :look:
 

HoneyA

Goal:Hip length stretched
I do sometimes find the stares disconcerting and I figure it's because of my hair but whatever. When it's open I part it down the middle so it is obvious it's real I think. I don't mind too much but it does get annoying sometimes. If I get weird stares now, what's it going to be like at WL?:look: The women who do actually say something invariably ask if it's all mine...
 
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Extremus

Well-Known Member
I do sometimes find the stares disconcerting and I figure it's because of my hair but whatever. When it's open I part it down the middle so it is obvious it's real I think. I don't mind too much but it does get annoying sometimes. If I get weird stares now, what's it going to be like at WL?:look: The women who do actually say something invariably ask if it's all mine...

me 2 :yep:
 

Neith

New Member
I don't mind too much when people stare, but sometimes I get those nasty stares with someone looking me up and down or a group of girls staring me up and down and coming up behind me saying loudly "Now she knows that ain't her hair" or "I hate when people get unrealistic weaves when they know there's no way their hair can be that long." At that point I'll bust out a ponytail holder or something and start playing with my hair and putting it up in a way that makes it obvious its not a weave. The catty-ness of some women when it comes to hair never ceases to amaze me.

That happened to ME (I barely have any hair, especially with the shrinkage :lol:) on the train one day.

I was shocked that anyone would think it is a weave. This was months back and my hair was at least 3 inches shorter. :ohwell:

I just laughed. That's usually my reaction to jealous idiots.
 

MA2010

Well-Known Member
I don't have longer hair to my standards (APL or longer). I'm SL with a whole lot of swang.....lol. I still get asked "is that all your hair" and it works my nerve at times. It's like no one expects me, a black women, to produce hair of my own even if it's just to my shoulders :nono:.
 

SmilingElephant

Well-Known Member
I haven't gotten too much negativity. But my mom is seriously hating on my hair bc she ended up chopping all hers off and won't listen to me about how to grow it back bc apparently "i think i know everything" when i'm the only female in my house with almost MBL hair. She's always saying my hair is nappy....even right after i got a relaxer and it was straight!!! lol....i put it in two pigtails the other day jus to show off my roots...lol...and i went to work with it like that....they were cute sophisticated looking pigtails....not in the air.....but i felt cute bc my tails were all over my back...lol...and my mom kept saying i looked a mess but i got a million compliments at work on my hair....there's this one guy who begs me to bring back the pigtails...LOL!!! And yeah i do the hair flip!

I was also at an event this weekend an all my friends that i hadn't seen in a while were there and they couldn't believe how long my hair had gotten!! My one friend actually turned me around to see how long it was! and everybody wanted to touch it....but i'm 5'8 and i walk fast....so that wasn't too easy for them! lol
 

zzirvingj

New Member
To answer the OP's question, I don't think I get stared at much...if I do then I just don't notice it. I usually have my hair in a bun so the few times I do see someone looking, they will usually make a comment.

A lady I knew was looking at it in a bun while we were on an elevator asked me after getting off the elevator if my hair was "all virgin hair". And then she told me it was beautiful.

Another time I had it in a bun (also on an elevator lol)...a man asked if my hair was "all natural", and when I told him yes, he said, "Now THAT'S something you certainly don't see very often!" lol

And one time I was in Whole Foods (my hair was pressed) and I thought a guy was kinda looking at me while in the produce section....he came up to me and said, "Your hair is natural, right?" I told him yes, and he asked if I had just gotten it blow dried or straightened or whatever, and I told him yeah. He said that it looked really nice.

If I get hateful stares I hope to continue not noticing them cause I don't like alot of attention to begin with, so negative attention would rub me the wrong way. I wouldn't start flipping hair or anything, but I would try with all my heart not to give someone the evil eye, but rather to just keep it moving....away from their negative vibes.
 

Gracie

Active Member
I don't get offended or irritated because people have always been curious about my hair since I as a little girl. I just speak to them and if they are wondering or have questions they usually feel comfortable enough to ask. I will admit...I like the compliments LOL
 

Barbara

Princess
I normally don’t notice, because I carry on nonchalantly as if I’m wearing my hair in a protective style. Even when I’m in the salon, I just read my book or magazine while my stylist is working on my hair. However, some of the other stylists and their customers have talked to my stylist about my hair. Then if he needs some input from me, I’ll tell them.

To my surprise, some men and women have asked me about my hair while it’s in a bun. They tell me that it’s very healthy looking, it’s a lot of hair, and they ask me for my regimen. I normally tell them.

Now every once in a while when it’s down, I’ll noticed that someone will look at me as if they’re shocked—as if they’ve seen a ghost, and it never dawned on me that they’re probably staring at my hair. It attracts attention, especially from men.

I normally don’t wear it down except when I leave the salon or on special occasions, but now I hear horror stories about what’s happening to some of our members who’ve had bad experiences by others messing with their hair. So if I take public transportation, I make sure I keep my hair up.
 

MizAvalon

Well-Known Member
I had that happen to me once when I was out to lunch with a friend, but it was with my nappy bun. A lady wanted to know where I bought it because she wanted one. I told her: "I got it from a little place you might know called MY SCALP." She looked at me like :perplexed and kept it moving.



She sort of gave me this sheepish grin and said: "Oh, my bad." I just turned away with a small shake of my head after that because I'd said my piece and left it at that.

Bwaahahahaha:lachen:!!!
 

BlackPearl1

Member
Ever since I was in junior high school my older cousin told me " when women see you; they are going to think your hair is a weave. Don't get mad just take it as a compliment." So whether I get a positive or negative reaction from women, I just take it as a compliment :yep: and go about my business. People will be people. I happen to think hair is beautiful, what ever the length may be as long as its healthy .
 

BlackPearl1

Member
I usually don't notice the stares. The people I am with usually tell me. When I was working as a cashier I got a countless number of comments from customers. "Is that all yours?" "How do you manage all of that?" "What did you do to get it like that?" And then there are the people who ask what im mixed with and tell me I have the longest hair they've ever seen on a black girl. I have also gotten some dirtty stares and snide "weave" comments before, but I just roll my eyes and go on about my business. Oh and I've had several weave checks from people running their finger through my hair and over my scalp. That is the only thing that will get me angry!

My reaction has gotten faster over the years do to people doing the same thing to me. I also try not let some people stand in arm length of me :ohwell:, because it usually ends in them trying to do a weave check
:nono:.
 

mnemosyne

Well-Known Member
I must not be going to the same places everyone else is cause no one better dare try to get their fingers near my hair.... except for firecracker, she's allowed. :lachen:

Anyway... I don't think people stare at my hair much at all and it's entirely too thin for anyone to think it's a weave, I'd hope.

I do, however, check out other people's hair alll the time. I try not to be dumb about it, but I will have an inquisitive look on my face. Normally I'm hoping it IS all their hair and they're a member rather than looking for tracks or something.

Or I'll glance and go "I like her hair's thickness, why can't mine curl like that?" yadda yadda...
 

lisana

New Member
I really don't think everyone who stares or inquires is being mean or disrespectful...let's always be gracious if we happen to be blessed with what many would want but may never have. I really gotta say one of the responses to a woman was hella rude and for some reason I immediately thought of that lil gal who was jacked up by that man standing in line at mickey d's...ain't saying it's right but I can only imagine how insulted I would have felt if I asked someone where they got their hair from and they said something totally uncalled for.. if I mistook it for fake but was not trying to be nasty why can't you just say "this is my real hair" and keep it moving? Now having said this, as my hair is approaching apl, I get the stares too, but unless someone is being really nasty, I just keep it moving, ain't that serious...and I would much rather be the chick being stared down because of the beatiful mane than the one being stared down cause she look like Jay-Z :nono: :lachen:
 
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