long hair ladies & how u really feel about those stares?

[naturalepiphany]

I don't care if people stare at it but when they start talking out of their face, I have a problem. Whether it's a weave or not, it's not your concern. But I definitely hate it when people touch my hair. I had a bad experience once where a girl was supposedly "admiring" my hair and running her hand in it and put gum all over my hair. she thought I was going to have to cut it all off but she didn't know I was smarter than her and with some cooking oil, got all of it out! I washed and did my hair and the next day I was swinging it in her face and she was furious! My hair was BSL at that point. Since then, I am very weary of anyone getting near my beautiful hair!!

This is one of my biggest fears and why I won't wear my hair out much. I get the stares especially since my hair is so thick. I could tell they were looking at me wondering what kind of hair I used to achieve my style. My SO has even told me his own sister and her friend wondered what kind of hair I was using. My last twist out looked like a straight up curly weave that the girls buy from the BSS and not too long ago I got a weave check from my own cousin. She pulled one of the hairs from my afro puff which really hurt. I had to tell her, "That is my hair you know?". She responded, "Its just so much hair and the strands are so fine." All she had to do was ask. One of the incidents that makes me happy to be able to get my puff into a bun along with the biggest fear issue.

 

[Whimsy]

awww I would have stared at your bush

I'm really glad i know the context of that statement cuz....it sounds nasty! lmao

 

[Janet']

and they didn't call the popo on that h*e??? GTFOOHWTBS!!!!!!!

C'MON SON!!!!!

 

[I Am So Blessed]

lol i especialy love these kinds of threads becuase im in the long haired category and i love it!! lol

but being WL i only experianced this one time, another AA girl was stearing at my hair, and then she finally said, "your curls are so nice how did you do that" so we started talking about hair, she was about BSL i was so happy there was another AA girl with long hair that i could talk to in person.

 

[Aviah]

Well, my hair isn't that long and people would ask if braidouts were my hair when I was transistioning. My hair shrinks pretty short so people don't ask often. In fact when I do flat Iron it out, people still don't realy ask for some reason. I guess its not that long yet. Or when they see my hair they assume its because I'm not "all black". So if I attempt to tell how to grow it, I usually am met with the "but your hair is different, I can't do that with mine"

 

[beans4reezy]

I don't care if people stare at it but when they start talking out of their face, I have a problem. Whether it's a weave or not, it's not your concern. But I definitely hate it when people touch my hair. I had a bad experience once where a girl was supposedly "admiring" my hair and running her hand in it and put gum all over my hair. she thought I was going to have to cut it all off but she didn't know I was smarter than her and with some cooking oil, got all of it out! I washed and did my hair and the next day I was swinging it in her face and she was furious! My hair was BSL at that point. Since then, I am very weary of anyone getting near my beautiful hair!!

NO WAY!! But good for you for getting the BEST of her! She knew what she was doing!

 

[SherylsTresses]

I just continue doing what I'm doing.

 

[BostonMaria]

Boston Maria, I always thought your hair was gorgeous! How rude of people to pull your hair! I hate when people put their hands in my hair. I also dislike them giving your daughter dirty looks.

with me it doesn't happen as often because my co-workers have been warned that my hair is off limits LOL as far as my DD's, they're so used to having long hair they don't understand what's the big deal or fuss all about. I'm the baldest in my house and I'm MBL hahaha my stepdaughter now wants to cut her hair SL (her hair pics are in my LHCF album) because of the attention she gets from school. I'm hoping she'll change her mind before I make the appt with the hairdresser. Her white friends keep pulling her curls. I keep telling her she's not allowed to have people touch her hair.

 

[equestrian]

I used to say this behavior was based off of pure ignorance but the tables have turned a bit since I started going to a new salon. Every time I go there I see about 8 people getting weaves done. [

So I myself occasionally catch myself thinking " hmm fake or real fake or real" when passing long haired girls.

 

[mscocoface]

All I know is that I am looking forward to it. Yes I said it. I probably won't see it unless I straighten my hair or by some gigantic feat or miracle get it to show how long it is while it is natural.

But as long as shrinkage is my bff the best I can hope for is WOW you have a LOT of hair it is HUGE versus hearing it is very long.

Oh well.

 

[dachsies_rule!]

LOL!!!! I LOVE THIS! I know she wasn't expectin that. Shuts ppl up real quick!

When my hair was long (MBL in H.S.) girls stared and I didn't mind it at all. I just hated annoying COMMENTS like "is that you REAL hair?" and once I say yeah they say "ooh, you must have indian in you" or "you got that barbie doll hair" or when they state the obvious "ooh your hair is LONG." that wasn't exactly a compliment, it was a fact so "um thank you???"erplexed But the stares never bothered me. I actually kinda miss them now but I know they'll be back in a few months when I'm back to APL, my hair grows fast.

ETA: Oh and I loved when I went to get my hair done for special occasions and I took out my ponytail holder and all eyes were on me waiting to see me take tracks out or somethin,lol. The whole salon would "watch" me get my hair done from wash to set to style in dibelief. I don't know why it's so hard to believe black women can grow long hair...

That happens to me everytime i go to the shop to get my relaxer. The women are staring just waiting for my "tracks" to get taken out. Then their faces get all twisted when my stylist just starts applying relaxer to my hair and they realize it's all mine. I want to say "yeah, thats right, we can grow hair if you take care of it"

 

[I Am So Blessed]

the stears give me mixed feelings. its nice that somebody admires my hair and all, but on the other hand, why do i get the stears, becuase im black.

so its 50/50 for me. half good half not so good.

 

[I Am So Blessed]

why it gotta be lke that, huh. why dont more black females know about hair care? ok im getting sad over here. bye

 

[My Friend]

Interesting..............................

 

[Afro Puff]

I kept my hair bunned 100% of the time over the past 1.5 years and people still notice the thickness and supposed length of my hair.

The last inquiry I got was 2 days ago. I boarded a bus to visit my mom and as soon as I sat down a young woman asked me, "How long is your hair?" (kinda bold to me). I pointed to the location on my belly and she said "oh wow". We talked a little bit about hair and then I referred her to LHCF, which she immediately looked up on her phone.

I moreso get inquiries and compliments than stares. Perhaps if I was a straightened natural I'd get more stares than compliments. That'll be my case study for the end of 2012. Should be interesting!

 

[CurlyMoo]

I have been keeping my hair up. When I took it down for the ladies at work they stared and complimented me. A few had a shocked look on their faces, I didn't understand that because one with the shocked look asked me to wear it down one day.

 

[SmilingElephant]

I have been keeping my hair up. When I took it down for the ladies at work they stared and complimented me. A few had a shocked look on their faces, I didn't understand that because one with the shocked look asked me to wear it down one day.

CurlyMoo i know your hair is the bomb but...i am at that crab in your siggy!!!

 

[CurlyMoo]

@CurlyMoo i know your hair is the bomb but...i am at that crab in your siggy!!!

Yeah I know he's too cute. He's like fluck it, don't need this! Determined little creature.

 

[lovebug10]

I have SL hair but its so THICK.

Honestly i feed off of the attention so I just flip my tresses and keep it moving. If someone is hating then it must mean that I'm doing something right.

 

[DirectorChic]

...a friend of mine..who is black..has waist length relaxed hair. We were in this store looking around..and i happened to notice this black girl staring my friend doooown. Im used to her hair so its nothig...but i do notice when others stop in amazement. HOWEVER this chick was serious with her staring. She didnt even look away when my friend caught her staring. Needless to say...my friend got really mad. She usually doesnt...but after seeing her react this way it made me think about what its like to be the one being stared at. sometimes staring in admiration can be confused with staring in hate or jealousy....SOOO...ladies with around apl or longer lengths....how do u feel when u get those deadly stares?...are u uncomfortable?....do folks say anything to u both pos. & neg.?...if they do stare in a neg way, do u find urself doing a flip of the hair to put them in check?...idk...anything else?....please be honest & vain if u choose... u can leave ur modesty at the door in this thread lol

It sounds like maybe she thought it could have been a weave, you know how we are, but then realized that it wasn't... there could have been a drop of envy there, upon realization that it was hers and she was black.

 

[DirectorChic]

I don't think its about length though. I think its about thickness, health, and style. I'm not going to lie. When I see women with short bobs that are really thick and fabulous looking, I wonder if its a weave.

Good Point. There are those short cut weaves when the person's hair is actually longer.

 

[lana]

I'll be honest. I get stares. Lots of them. (lol) It's gotten to the point that I barely notice now. Just the other day I was leaving the store and walking to the car, my dh was inside and (I love his eyes, but they were wide open - I teased him because he was looking around suspiciously) so when I got in the car, I noticed two women passing me and they turned to look. He said, "Babe they were staring at you so long I got mad."
I barely noticed, although one woman craned her neck to look and neither of them smiled.

So yes, I get stares, even more so when I wear my hair down, put on a sundress and walk with my DH. I guess I appreciate the stares more now because I used to have short, broken, dyed ear length relaxed hair....now I have super thick, lovely black, past BSL hair that is healthy, shaky and beautiful (because of LHCF and you ladies!)

 

[lana]

Oh, one more, just last week a lady stared at me up and down, but she was smiling. I smiled back (included an eyebrow raise and kept moving) even though I was thinking "nice smile, but dang you stared at me harder than a man".

But she politely asked me about my hair and I gave her the info on what I do to it. She really appreciated it. Usually I never give hair advice or discuss hair with anyone. People sometimes just want to gawk and other times they just don't really care enough to try - one of my acquaintances just told me that she has been watching my hair grow and get longer for years and she just finally had to ask me, "What do you do to it?" (lol) I told her.

Another friend just told me that she cut her hair because she couldn't handle all of the length like I can. I just blinked and nodded.

I don't mind the stares, don't mind the weave checks, don't mind the track checks and dodge the ponytail grabs (yes, there have been a few). It all means that I reached my goal and for the first time in my life I have the hair of my dreams (and DH's...sneaky laugh).

 

[TheMenAllPause]

I love those "is that a weave??" stares...then its followed by the look of fascination. But I am proud of all my hard work and dedication so I treat those stares as compliments.

 

[CurlsBazillion]

Long hair problems sound much better than short hair problems. When did the stares start for yall? BSL? WL?

 

[lesedi]

Long hair problems sound much better than short hair problems. When did the stares start for yall? BSL? WL?

I actually loved the stares I got with my TWA. I felt regal and powerful

 

[BadMamaJama]

I don't know how it feels, but next year, this time, I'm going to come back and tell you guys!

 

[nerdography]

I remember in elementary school for Halloween, I went as Madame CJ Walker. And my mom did my hair like hers and we put together a little outfit. And the teacher asked me in front of the class if I was wearing a wig. I told her no and every started at me. I think I was WL.

I high school I had a boy in my English class grab my ponytail and yank it really hard because he thought it was a phony pony. I was APL then.

I was in college, I want to say it was 2003. I decided to wear my hair down that day and as I walked by two women said, "She think she looks cute with that weave." I was APL then too.

Now, I'm WL again. And people at work are usually confused when I wear my hair down. They ask me what I did to my hair. And I tell them that I just flat ironed it, nothing fancy. But, they always give me a side eye, and these are yt women.

 

[ilong]

CurlyMoo your siggy is hilarious and I'm gonna use it:

"Every woman should have four pets in her life. A mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage, a tiger in her bed, and a jackass who pays for everything."

My score: 3 out of 4 - not saying which one I'm missin'

 

[NJoy]

I don't wear my hair out much at all and am really self-conscious when I do. But as far as stares, I've been fly all my life so, I'm used to crazy looks and sometimes provoke the looker. (yeah, I said it) It's just too funny to me.

But really, I almost forget it's the hair they're staring at and go into my "is-there-a-problem" counter stare down...hard. Either they'll look away embarrassed (which results in my "yeah, that's-what-I-thought smirk") or they'll start with the compliments (in which case, I relax and offer genuine thanks).

I'm wearing a hl wig now, trying to get used to being out with my hair out. In no way am I trying to front like it's all me but... I keep a pair of shades on because, I sees ya lookin.



Oh! Let me add, I wore my hair out in TN about a month ago and I kept fidget'g with it. Putting it into a ponytail, and then bun, and then shaking it loose to make a ponytail again. I did notice that stares provoked my takedowns. Yeah, I earned it. What?!

I told y'all early on that I'd be stank. You. Can't. Tell. Me. NOTHIN'!!!

(Somebody pray my strength in the Lord. I need Jesus. )