OH no she didn't!--Coworker said my hair looks like...

[Crystalicequeen123]

...I stuck my finger in the electrical socket!!!

Ughgh....I don't know whether to be angry or chalk it up to pure ignorance.

I mean honestly, I have to admit...I have been bunning my hair up for the past week or so simply because I am 12weeks+ post a relaxer touchup.

I was SUPPOSEDto get my hair touched up yesterday after work, but my stylist couldn't take me, and frankly I don't trust anyone else but her to put a relaxer in my hair. She knows which relaxer I like, how long to leave it in, and how I like to maintain SOME thickness to my hair. So I am getting my touchup tomorrow instead.

Anyway, so last night I decided that I still wanted to look nice because I'm going somewhere special tonight after work and I wanted to wear my hair down. So, I put bantu knots in my hair and slept on it.

When I took it out this morning, my hair (to me) looked pretty nice! My hair was looking pretty good, and had a nice little wave to it. Now.....fast-forward to 4pm (9hrs later) and my hair has fallen, the "waves" look limp, and frizzy!

Anyway, so this one co-worker sees me pass her desk and this is how the conversation goes:

Co-Worker: "How did you get your hair like that?"
Me: "Huh?? What do you mean?"
Co-Worker: "I mean...what did you do to it to look like that?"
Me: "Why...what does it look like?"
Co-Worker: "Idk It looks different..."
Me: *laughing* "Uh-oh!! Different! Different good? Or...different bad?"
Co-Worker: "Umm...just different I guess!"
Me: "Well, be honest...does it look good or does it look bad? Please just be honest."
Co-Worker: *pauses for a moment* "Well.... it almost looks like you stuck your finger in an electrical socket".
Me: *blinking*
Co-Worker: "I mean.... not high voltage, but LOW voltage!" (as if that's any better?? )
Me: *trying not to get upset* "Wow...well gosh! Ugh...I wanted to get my hair done yesterday but my stylist couldn't do it, so I put bantu knots in it and took them out this morning. It looked a lot better this morning."
Co-Worker: "It's just not how you normally wear your hair. I actually prefer it up in the buns...."
Me: "Really?? You actually prefer it up??"
Co-Worker: "Well, not really...but I don't like it like that. It looks kind of messy"
Me: *now I'm really trying not to get pissed off...meanwhile a fellow female black co-worker is hearing this whole conversation and is just shaking her head and making grunt noises *
Me: "Well, I appreciate the honesty and everything, but maybe it's not such a good idea to tell someone that their hair looks like it got electrocuted."
Co-Worker: "I'm sorry....you said be honest!"
Me: "Yes well....that doesn't mean that it was a nice thing to say"
Co-Worker: *sigh* "Uh-oh...I guess I better leave this one alone..."
Me: "Umm... yeah that might be best."


UGhg! I sooo did not want to be one of "those" blk women who go off when people just casually ask them about their hair. But when she started INSULTING my hair (and yes...it doesn't look all that great ) that's when I have a problem!


*sigh* I just had to vent....

 

[Bene]

You asked her to be honest.

 

[BostonMaria]

When will she wake up from her coma? I'm assuming you hit her with a sock full of quarters

 

[hair4romheaven]

Sorry u had to deal with that and it bothered you. You did ask her to be honest though.

 

[♥Lamaravilla♥]

Ummmm... you asked for her opinion... she gave it... why so mad?

 

[Nightingale]

When keeping it real goes wrong.

 

[adf23]

You have to admit its kinda funny OP.

 

[newbiemom]

Never ask because you just might get it.

 

[sunshinelady]

I'm so sorry, but this made me laugh:

Co-Worker: "I mean.... not high voltage, but LOW voltage!" (as if that's any better?? )

 

[Tarae]

Well, it wasn't the nicest thing to say but she didn't say that until you told her to be honest.

It would be another story if she just walked up to you like "OMG what did you to your hair? It looks like you stuck your finger in an electrical socket!"

 

[la mosca]

When will she wake up from her coma? I'm assuming you hit her with a sock full of quarters

I'm going to start marketing the official LHCF Sock o' Quarters. (There will be two sizes: Small and Concussion.)

 

[jamaraa]

Never ask a question that you know the answer to and whose answer don't want someone to voice aloud!

 

[Rei]

When will she wake up from her coma? I'm assuming you hit her with a sock full of quarters

When keeping it real goes wrong.

 

[HoneyA]

Well I got an unsolicited comment on my hair on the weekend from one of my friends, a guy. He told me Halloween was over. I was like, ok to be fair I need moisturiser after my wash so I mean I let it go. And I was at home just lazing around. Anyway, well you asked her to be honest. At least it wasn't unsolicited.

 

[BeetleBug]

Never ask anyone to be honest if you really don't want a truthful answer. I had a woman ask me how she looked in her dress. I was honest and told her she needed some extra support underneath her dress. She look offended but she was the one that asked.

 

[CurlyNue]

...I stuck my finger in the electrical socket!!!


Co-Worker: "How did you get your hair like that?"
Me: "Huh?? What do you mean?"
Co-Worker: "I mean...what did you do to it to look like that?"
Me: "Why...what does it look like?"
Co-Worker: "Idk It looks different..."
Me: *laughing* "Uh-oh!! Different! Different good? Or...different bad?"
Co-Worker: "Umm...just different I guess!"
Me: "Well, be honest...does it look good or does it look bad? Please just be honest."

Like everyone else stated, you asked her to be honest so that is exactly what she did. My only problem was that she started her conversation by asking how you got your hair to look the way it does, as if she genuinely wanted to know. You might have even gotten the impression based on how the conversation began that she thought your hair was attractive. Generally, the only time people begin a conversation about something is because they like it or want to compliment it. If she did not like the way your hair looked why even begin a conversation about it. She had it in her mind before the conversation began that electricity must have coursed through your body at some point in the morning. She started the conversation because she wanted you to know her personal preference regarding your hair, in other words dont show your a** up here without a bun again.

The conversation was funny though.

 

[janeemat]

I was about to log off and go home. But had to get my last fix of LHCF. I'm sorry, but your post has cracked me up. I'm still walking around here pushing 20 wks post so it would not surprise if my co-workers are talking. Hey, at least she was honest.

 

[~*~ShopAholic~*~]

I am just gonna say you asked for that one, cause you said be honest, and kept asking her on everything she said. You shouldn't be mad at her but yourself cause you could have just told her from the beginning that you missed you hair appointment and tried to do a wavy style but the curls dropped and it got frizzy.

 

[MsBoinglicious]

Well you told the co-worker to be honest, and then you told them to PLEASE be honest. They told you how they felt lol

If the co-worker told you that same thing and you did NOT ask for their input, then I could see you being mad or offended with the co-worker. But you asked the co-worker to be up front with you.

Maybe to the co-worker it did look like you were shocked! But who cares it’s your hair. Maybe to someone else it was a fly as hell Bantu knot out! Maybe the co-worker did not know how to digest your fierceness?? Can’t please everybody!

 

[isawstars]

I kind of see your point. you asked for her honesty but she didn't have to go all out and say you looked like you were electrocuted. She did say that it looked "messy." Why didn't she just say that?

 

[plastic]

im sorry but that is hilarious ...

 

[la mosca]

Like everyone else stated, you asked her to be honest so that is exactly what she did. My only problem was that she started her conversation by asking how you got your hair to look the way it does, as if she genuinely wanted to know. You might have even gotten the impression based on how the conversation began that she thought your hair was attractive. Generally, the only time people begin a conversation about something is because they like it or want to compliment it. If she did not like the way your hair looked why even begin a conversation about it. She had it in her mind before the conversation began that electricity must have coursed through your body at some point in the morning. She started the conversation because she wanted you to know her personal preference regarding your hair, in other words dont show your a** up here without a bun again.

The conversation was funny though.

I agree with this. My knee-jerk reaction was, hey, OP asked her to be honest. But her response was really tactless. Honesty is great, but it isn't the only virtue out there. There's also kindness and sensitivity.

But again, funny story.

 

[washize]

Reason being why I normally don't answer white people when they ask about my hair. I just change the subject, because I know they are going to say something, or ask something compelely inapropriate.

 

[destine2grow]

and the moral of this story is.... be careful what you ask for!

 

[longhairlover]

I know you asked her to be honest, but it seems like she just wanted to say something negative to you anyways by the way she started off her sentence, I don't think there was anything authentic about that convo on her behalf, is this a person you don't get along with?

you were walking past her desk but she found a reason to mention your hair because she was waiting to have her moment of ignorance.

I just can't believe how many sistas on here have been victims of their co-workers "kind" words, people are just sooooo bold and rude nowadays.

Was this co-worker white/non AA? I really think when this happens to us on the job we should start filing complaints to H.R. or EEOC it has a hint of discrimination "they" always find ways to insult us, i'm not being petty either, to me it's offensive. it's like ha ha ha look at the AA with that electrocuted hair, (ha ha laughing at us), and then she's like she doesn't like your hair up in a bun either so how is her comment genuine?

And if your having a bad hair day isn't that your business, whether or not you ask the person to be honest, she already had that electrical socket comment up her sleeve imo.

 

[Ladylu]

Thanks for the afternoon laugh. Your right, she didn't have to go there...but you also asked for it. Maybe she thinks yall are "cool like that" and she could tell you how she really felt?!

Have you posted a pic of your hair today? I'm sure it's not that bad...I mean braidouts are supposed to be a little out there anyways....just because it's a new look on you doesn't mean it doesn't look good...sometime it takes getting used to.

 

[Leeda.the.Paladin]

She could've just left it at "I don't like it, I prefer your buns" instead of adding the socket part. I mean, you did ask for her honest opinion, but you didn't ask her to compare your hair to other unflattering things.

 

[DDTexlaxed]

I'm so sorry, but this made me laugh:

Co-Worker: "I mean.... not high voltage, but LOW voltage!" (as if that's any better?? )

goodone: It's rude, but this made me laugh. Sorry, OP.

 

[MissMeWithThatIsh]

You pushed her to be honest despite how tactful she tried to be, and you admitted your hair didn't look the way it did earlier in the day... what was she supposed to say?

 

[Foufie]

When keeping it real goes wrong.

Be prepared for anything when you ask for honesty....erplexed